And while parents' dating advice may seem about as welcomed by teens as the swine flu, the research suggests the opposite--that young people not only value parental input, but tend to have healthier relationships when they receive parental advice.
盡管父母在戀愛上的建議看似像甲型H1N1流感一樣讓孩子們討厭，研究卻發(fā)現(xiàn)并不是這樣，年輕人不僅看重家長的看法，當他們收到家長的建議時往往還會有更健康的關系。
Long dismissed by researchers as trivial and fleeting, teen romance is emerging as a powerful factor in kids' development--one in which parents have a major role to play, new studies show. The romantic ties kids form between middle school and college are important markers of progress toward adulthood; their choice of partners as early as middle school actually shapes their development to a surprising degree.
長期以來，研究人員都認為少年情事是微不足道、曇花一現(xiàn)的。但新的研究顯示，它在孩子的成長過程中卻是一個重要的因素，家長也要在其中扮演重要的角色。孩子在中學到大學期間形成的戀愛關系是他們走向成人道路上的重要標志。孩子在中學時代對伴侶的選擇實際上會對他們的發(fā)展帶來令人吃驚的影響。
The studies serve as bedrock for parents in an era of dizzying changes in youthful romance. Many adults see little that is familiar in today's teen dating relationships, which may seem to live and die entirely on Facebook, or through texting, sexting or--to parents' dismay--casual "hookups", or brief sexual liaisons.
在年輕人的戀愛關系發(fā)生了令人目眩的變化的時代，這些研究可以作為家長們遵循的一個基本原則。很多成年人并沒有在如今年輕人的戀愛關系中發(fā)現(xiàn)任何熟悉的地方，現(xiàn)在年輕人的戀愛似乎完全是靠Facebook或通過發(fā)短信或曖昧短信，或是讓感到家長不安的，隨意的交往或短暫性關系來進行的。
"It is an area where parents aren't quite sure what to do," says Stephanie Madsen, an associate professor of psychology at McDaniel College, Westminster, Md. Now, emerging research "can offer some solid information on what is helpful, and what's not."
馬里蘭州麥克丹尼爾學院心理學副教授麥德森說，這是一個家長不知道如何去做的領域?，F(xiàn)在，新的研究可以提供一些實實在在的信息，告訴你哪些做法有用，哪些沒用。
Young people whose parents make themselves available to talk with them or give advice about dating tend to have warmer, closer, more positive romantic relationships, with less fighting and tension, reveals a study by Dr. Madsen and others of 225 young adults ages 22 to 29. If parents don't offer help, however, and keep out of offsprings' love lives altogether, that is linked in their offspring to poorer-quality relationships, including less affection and support and more conflict.
麥德森等人對225位年齡在22到29歲的年輕人進行了研究。他們發(fā)現(xiàn)，那些樂于和孩子就戀愛進行交流或提供建議的家長，他們的孩子的戀愛關系更溫暖、親密、積極，打架和緊張的情況更少。不過，如果父母不給予幫助，對孩子的情事不聞不問，那么孩子的戀愛關系質量會較差，包括缺乏親密和支持，有更多的沖突。
Young people like it best when parents take a consulting or coaching role, listening--and offering advice only when asked, Dr. Madsen says.
麥德森說，年輕人最喜歡的方式是，父母只有在孩子要求的時候，才會扮演顧問或指導員的角色，傾聽并提供建議。
Even when parents think a relationship is unhealthy, it is best to avoid handing down judgments or giving orders; young people may regard that as encroaching on their independence. Rather than saying, "you have to break up with this person," try reflecting on "what you're seeing that seems unhealthy, or that worries you," Dr. Madsen says.
就算父母認為孩子的戀愛關系不健康，也是避免簡單地作判斷和發(fā)命令；年輕人可能會把這視為是侵犯自己的獨立。不要說“你必須和這個人斷交”，而是努力表達出“你認為看起來不健康或讓你擔心”的事。
Starting healthy new dating relationships also serves as a signal of kids' overall readiness to launch from the parental nest. Young people whose romantic relationships are nurturing and close also tend to have reached more milestones of adult development, including a stronger sense of personal identity and an ability to care for other family members, says a study of 710 people ages 18 to 26 led by Carolyn M. Barry, an associate professor of psychology at Loyola University Maryland.
開始健康的新戀愛關系也是孩子基本準備好要離開父母的羽翼的信號。馬里蘭洛約拉大學心理學副教授卡羅林M·貝瑞牽頭對710位年齡在18至26歲的年輕人進行了研究。結果表明，那些戀愛關系有助于成長并且密切的年輕人也往往會在成長的道路上達到更多的里程碑，包括更強的自我認知感和關心家人的能力。
Finally, in a finding termed "striking" by researchers, romantic relationships as early as middle school seem to have a formative influence on teens' social and emotional health. In a study of 78 middle-school students published last year in Child Development, researchers rated teens and their boyfriends or girlfriends on depressive symptoms, and on peer reports of popularity, aggression, fighting and victimization via bullying or teasing; 11 months later, they rated the teens and their partners again.
最后，中學建立起來的戀愛關系看起來對青少年形成健康的社會和情感關系有著影響，研究人員稱這一結果令人震驚?！秲和l(fā)展》期刊去年發(fā)表了一項對78位中學生的研究。研究人員將青少年和他們的男／女朋友根據(jù)抑郁癥狀進行打分，并根據(jù)周圍同齡人對其受歡迎的程度、攻擊性、打架和受欺負與受嘲弄進行打分。11個月之后，他們對這些孩子和他們的伴侶再次打分。
Teens who had more problems at the first rating, but who picked healthier boyfriends or girlfriends, became mentally and socially healthier themselves by the second rating. However, low-functioning teens who picked partners who also had a lot of problems tended to stay stuck. The findings, says the study by Valerie Simon, an assistant professor of clinical psychology at Wayne State University, Detroit, and others, suggest 'romantic partners are unique and significant' influences in kids' lives.
在第一次打分中有較多問題、但挑選了較健康的男朋友或女朋友的孩子在第二次打分中的心理和社交上都更健康。不過，那些自身就是問題孩子、又選擇了有很多問題的人做男朋友／女朋友的孩子往往沒有改觀。研究是由底特律韋恩州立大學臨床心理學助理教授瓦萊麗·西蒙等人進行的。西蒙說，這項研究表明戀愛對象對孩子的生活有著獨特和重要的影響。
盡管父母在戀愛上的建議看似像甲型H1N1流感一樣讓孩子們討厭，研究卻發(fā)現(xiàn)并不是這樣，年輕人不僅看重家長的看法，當他們收到家長的建議時往往還會有更健康的關系。
Long dismissed by researchers as trivial and fleeting, teen romance is emerging as a powerful factor in kids' development--one in which parents have a major role to play, new studies show. The romantic ties kids form between middle school and college are important markers of progress toward adulthood; their choice of partners as early as middle school actually shapes their development to a surprising degree.
長期以來，研究人員都認為少年情事是微不足道、曇花一現(xiàn)的。但新的研究顯示，它在孩子的成長過程中卻是一個重要的因素，家長也要在其中扮演重要的角色。孩子在中學到大學期間形成的戀愛關系是他們走向成人道路上的重要標志。孩子在中學時代對伴侶的選擇實際上會對他們的發(fā)展帶來令人吃驚的影響。
The studies serve as bedrock for parents in an era of dizzying changes in youthful romance. Many adults see little that is familiar in today's teen dating relationships, which may seem to live and die entirely on Facebook, or through texting, sexting or--to parents' dismay--casual "hookups", or brief sexual liaisons.
在年輕人的戀愛關系發(fā)生了令人目眩的變化的時代，這些研究可以作為家長們遵循的一個基本原則。很多成年人并沒有在如今年輕人的戀愛關系中發(fā)現(xiàn)任何熟悉的地方，現(xiàn)在年輕人的戀愛似乎完全是靠Facebook或通過發(fā)短信或曖昧短信，或是讓感到家長不安的，隨意的交往或短暫性關系來進行的。
"It is an area where parents aren't quite sure what to do," says Stephanie Madsen, an associate professor of psychology at McDaniel College, Westminster, Md. Now, emerging research "can offer some solid information on what is helpful, and what's not."
馬里蘭州麥克丹尼爾學院心理學副教授麥德森說，這是一個家長不知道如何去做的領域?，F(xiàn)在，新的研究可以提供一些實實在在的信息，告訴你哪些做法有用，哪些沒用。
Young people whose parents make themselves available to talk with them or give advice about dating tend to have warmer, closer, more positive romantic relationships, with less fighting and tension, reveals a study by Dr. Madsen and others of 225 young adults ages 22 to 29. If parents don't offer help, however, and keep out of offsprings' love lives altogether, that is linked in their offspring to poorer-quality relationships, including less affection and support and more conflict.
麥德森等人對225位年齡在22到29歲的年輕人進行了研究。他們發(fā)現(xiàn)，那些樂于和孩子就戀愛進行交流或提供建議的家長，他們的孩子的戀愛關系更溫暖、親密、積極，打架和緊張的情況更少。不過，如果父母不給予幫助，對孩子的情事不聞不問，那么孩子的戀愛關系質量會較差，包括缺乏親密和支持，有更多的沖突。
Young people like it best when parents take a consulting or coaching role, listening--and offering advice only when asked, Dr. Madsen says.
麥德森說，年輕人最喜歡的方式是，父母只有在孩子要求的時候，才會扮演顧問或指導員的角色，傾聽并提供建議。
Even when parents think a relationship is unhealthy, it is best to avoid handing down judgments or giving orders; young people may regard that as encroaching on their independence. Rather than saying, "you have to break up with this person," try reflecting on "what you're seeing that seems unhealthy, or that worries you," Dr. Madsen says.
就算父母認為孩子的戀愛關系不健康，也是避免簡單地作判斷和發(fā)命令；年輕人可能會把這視為是侵犯自己的獨立。不要說“你必須和這個人斷交”，而是努力表達出“你認為看起來不健康或讓你擔心”的事。
Starting healthy new dating relationships also serves as a signal of kids' overall readiness to launch from the parental nest. Young people whose romantic relationships are nurturing and close also tend to have reached more milestones of adult development, including a stronger sense of personal identity and an ability to care for other family members, says a study of 710 people ages 18 to 26 led by Carolyn M. Barry, an associate professor of psychology at Loyola University Maryland.
開始健康的新戀愛關系也是孩子基本準備好要離開父母的羽翼的信號。馬里蘭洛約拉大學心理學副教授卡羅林M·貝瑞牽頭對710位年齡在18至26歲的年輕人進行了研究。結果表明，那些戀愛關系有助于成長并且密切的年輕人也往往會在成長的道路上達到更多的里程碑，包括更強的自我認知感和關心家人的能力。
Finally, in a finding termed "striking" by researchers, romantic relationships as early as middle school seem to have a formative influence on teens' social and emotional health. In a study of 78 middle-school students published last year in Child Development, researchers rated teens and their boyfriends or girlfriends on depressive symptoms, and on peer reports of popularity, aggression, fighting and victimization via bullying or teasing; 11 months later, they rated the teens and their partners again.
最后，中學建立起來的戀愛關系看起來對青少年形成健康的社會和情感關系有著影響，研究人員稱這一結果令人震驚?！秲和l(fā)展》期刊去年發(fā)表了一項對78位中學生的研究。研究人員將青少年和他們的男／女朋友根據(jù)抑郁癥狀進行打分，并根據(jù)周圍同齡人對其受歡迎的程度、攻擊性、打架和受欺負與受嘲弄進行打分。11個月之后，他們對這些孩子和他們的伴侶再次打分。
Teens who had more problems at the first rating, but who picked healthier boyfriends or girlfriends, became mentally and socially healthier themselves by the second rating. However, low-functioning teens who picked partners who also had a lot of problems tended to stay stuck. The findings, says the study by Valerie Simon, an assistant professor of clinical psychology at Wayne State University, Detroit, and others, suggest 'romantic partners are unique and significant' influences in kids' lives.
在第一次打分中有較多問題、但挑選了較健康的男朋友或女朋友的孩子在第二次打分中的心理和社交上都更健康。不過，那些自身就是問題孩子、又選擇了有很多問題的人做男朋友／女朋友的孩子往往沒有改觀。研究是由底特律韋恩州立大學臨床心理學助理教授瓦萊麗·西蒙等人進行的。西蒙說，這項研究表明戀愛對象對孩子的生活有著獨特和重要的影響。