hi!I'm Zhao Ziwen. I was a happy boy.BecauseI had a happy family.but,I'm very very sad now.Why?Because my dad isn't health. he drinks alcohol every day.he is angry every day.My mom is sad,too.So I grow up can't drink alcohol,I can't! I'm only 13 old,but I'm clever.I have a noble dream! I want go America!I want to go to havord!I'm confident!HaHa! My birthday is in July. I love building blocks.My favorite food is hamburger! I want have a look the world.The very very large world!
修改后：
Hi! I'm Zhao Ziwen. My birthday is in July. I love building blocks. My favorite food is hamburgers!
I was a happy boy because I had a happy family. But I'm very very sad now.Why?Because my dad isn't healthy. He drinks alcohol every day. He is angry every day.My mom is sad,too. I won't drink alcohol when I grow up. I won't!
I'm only 13 years old, but I'm clever. I have a noble dream! I want to go to America!I want to go to Harvard! I'm confident! HaHa!
I want have a look the world. The very very large world!
修改教師 ：Andy老師
六年級(jí):趙子文
修改后：
Hi! I'm Zhao Ziwen. My birthday is in July. I love building blocks. My favorite food is hamburgers!
I was a happy boy because I had a happy family. But I'm very very sad now.Why?Because my dad isn't healthy. He drinks alcohol every day. He is angry every day.My mom is sad,too. I won't drink alcohol when I grow up. I won't!
I'm only 13 years old, but I'm clever. I have a noble dream! I want to go to America!I want to go to Harvard! I'm confident! HaHa!
I want have a look the world. The very very large world!
修改教師 ：Andy老師
六年級(jí):趙子文