2016年雅思寫作:Essay Writing Coherence(1)

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    下面我們來看一個(gè)具體的例子:   Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society.   Discuss both views and give your opinion.   These days, more and more people are making the choice to go to university. While some people are of the opinion that the only purpose of a university education is to improve job prospects, others think that society and the individual benefit in much broader ways.   It is certainly true that one of the main aims of university is to secure a better job. To begin, the majority of people want to improve their future career prospects. Attending university is one of the best ways to do this as it increases your marketable skills and your attractiveness to potential employers. For example, in Europe, further education is very expensive for many people, so most would not consider it if it would not provide them with a more secure future and a higher standard of living. Also, universities have their reputation to consider. They definitely want to ensure that their students are going to get the best jobs as this will affect future funding and university applications.   However, there are other benefits for individuals and society. Firstly, the independence of living away from home is a benefit because it helps the students develop better social skills and improve as a person. Many students, for instance, will have to leave their families, live in halls of residence and meet new friends. As a result, their maturity and confidence will grow enabling them to live more fulfilling lives. Secondly, society will gain from the contribution that the graduates can make to the economy. We are living in a very competitive world, so countries, especially developing countries, need educated people in order to compete and prosper.   To conclude, I believe that although a main aim of university education is to get the best job, there are clearly further benefits. If we continue to promote and encourage university attendance, it will lead to a better future for everyone.   我們以FOR EXAMPLE為例看看這些詞在段落中具體用法:   1) 句號,首字母大寫,逗號   There are many ways to improve congestion. For example, some cities in The Netherlands have pedestrian only city centres.   Many countries have now reduced their CO2 emissions. As a result, there is now less pollution.   2) 分號,首字母小寫,逗號   There are many ways to improve congestion; for example, some cities in The Netherlands have pedestrian only city centres.   Many countries have now reduced their CO2 emissions;as a result, there is now less pollution.   在使用這些連接詞的時(shí)候,我們還應(yīng)該講究形式多變:   1) 舉例關(guān)系   There are many ways to improve congestion. Some cities in The Netherlands, for instance, have pedestrian only city centres.   或者:   There are many ways to improve congestion. Some cities in The Netherlands have, for instance, pedestrian only city centres.   2) 對比關(guān)系/因果關(guān)系   Tokyo now has a Sky Train. Traffic problems, as a result/therefore/as a consequence,have decreased significantly.   或者:   Tokyo now has a Sky Train, and, as a result/therefore/as a consequence, traffic problems have decreased significantly.   注意:沒有and連接兩個(gè)句子是不正確的!   INCORRECT   Tokyo now has a Sky Train, as a result, traffic problems have decreased significantly.   3) 并列關(guān)系   Firstly, an advantage of a new public transport system is that it will reduce traffic congestion.   或者:   The first advantage of a new public transport system is that it will reduce traffic congestion.