有一間百貨公司登報要雇辦事員；三天里來了八十多個人，幾乎每個人都拿封介紹信。經(jīng)理跟每個人都談了話，后，他錄用了一個沒帶介紹信的青年人。別人都很奇怪，經(jīng)理就解釋說：“旁人的介紹信只有一封，這青年人卻帶了三封。當(dāng)他走進了我的辦公室，就輕輕把門關(guān)上；這是第一封介紹他謹慎的信。他跟我說話時，音調(diào)又清晰，對答又有條理，這是一封介紹他聰明的信。當(dāng)一位老人走進了我的辦公室，他就趕快站起來；這是一封介紹他禮貌的信。他有三封介紹信，都表現(xiàn)在行動上；別人的介紹信，不過表現(xiàn)在紙上罷了！”
Once when a department store put a want ad in the newspapers for an administrator, within three days eighty-some people showed up, virtually all of them bringing a letter of recommendation with them. After interviewing all of them, the manager finally hired a young man who had not brought a letter. When others expressed their surprise, the manager explained, "Everyone else brought only one letter of recommendation, but this young man brought three letters. When he walked into my office, he gently shut the door behind him; this was a letter describing his cautiousness. During his conversation with me, his voice was clear and his responses were logical; that was a letter telling me about his intelligence. When an older person came into my office, he quickly stood up; that was a letter telling me about his courteousness. His three letters of recommendation revealed themselves in his behavior; everyone else's letters were merely written on paper."
從這故事看來，平常就養(yǎng)成恭敬長者的習(xí)慣，鍛煉出不卑不亢的應(yīng)對的談吐，是做人做事成功的基礎(chǔ)。人是社會的動物，不能離群而索居。如何與人和睦相處，并獲得發(fā)展自我潛能的機會，以服務(wù)人群，這是一生都要努力的課程；這個課程，開始得愈早愈澈底，將來的際遇也愈順利。因此，兒童的啟蒙教育，應(yīng)以孝悌為先，培養(yǎng)他們對父母師長的恭敬心；孩子長大跨入社會，自然就會是個有禮貌的人，這是成功地展開人際關(guān)系的第一步。
From this story, we can see that developing the habit of respecting our elders and speaking in a way that is neither lowly nor overbearing will ensure our success in dealing with people and matters. People are social creatures who cannot live in total isolation. We must seriously learn how to dwell in harmony with people in order to develop our own potentials so we can help the common good. This is the lesson of a lifetime, and the sooner and the more thoroughly we learn it, the smoother our life will be. Hence, early childhood education should stress filial piety and brotherhood first, teaching children to respect their parents. When they grow up and go out into the society, they will naturally be courteous and well-mannered; that is the first step in relating successfully to other people.
雖然也有人說：“大行不顧細節(jié)，何必這么拘謹呢？”但這只是說，小禮儀有時可以不必那么執(zhí)著，不表示我們的內(nèi)心可以不恭敬師長。恭敬應(yīng)該發(fā)自內(nèi)心，但是每個人內(nèi)心的看法不同，標(biāo)準也有異，有時就會遇到難題。時下的孩子，思想大都很活潑，也都很能言善辯；你若教他恭敬師長，他很可能反過來告訴你，這位老師或長輩言行如何如何，言下之意是他們覺得這位師長不值得尊敬。他們往往反問你；“你教我表現(xiàn)得恭敬，豈不是教我作假，裝兩面人嗎？這不誠實。”不少家長啞口無言，不知怎么回答好。
Some people may say, "In doing great deeds, one should not be hampered by fine details, why should we be so rigid?" This is only saying that we don't always have to be too attached to minor points of etiquette; it doesn't mean we can be disrespectful to our teachers and elders in our minds. Respect should come from the heart. However, everyone's outlook and standard is different, so sometimes we run into problems. Children of today are very liberal in their outlook and very good at arguing their own views. If you tell them to respect their teachers and elders, they might respond by telling you certain things about their teacher or elder, implying that the person is not worth respecting. They often ask you, "If you ask me to show respect, aren't you just asking me to put on a false front? It's not for real." Many parents are left speechless; they don't know how to reply.
所以我們?yōu)槿烁改笌熼L的，除了要時常躬自反省，改進自身的品行外，還得灌輸孩子們正確的概念。什么呢？我們發(fā)自內(nèi)心來尊敬三種人：第一是品德比自己好的人；第二是年紀比自己大的人；第三是職位比自己高的人。第一種人，相信誰都會認為值得尊敬；第二、第三種人，不管他的品行如何，還是應(yīng)該尊敬。為什么？俗語說：“人生不如意，十常八九?！笨芍^苦多于樂，災(zāi)患多于平安；想想看，這位長輩，要奮斗到現(xiàn)在，才能夠活著成為比我們年長的人，難道不值得尊重？這位老師或長官，要努力到現(xiàn)在，才有今天的身份和職位，難道不值得尊重？何況每個人都有機會輪到做尊長的時候，“要怎么收獲，先怎么栽”。這么開解給孩子聽，而能發(fā)自內(nèi)心去敬老尊賢了。千萬不要以權(quán)威去強迫孩子虛應(yīng)事故，讓他戴個禮貌的假面具，而成為偽君子；也不要縱容孩子，讓他長成一個不知天高地厚的狂妄小子。
As parents, teachers, and elders, not only should we always reflect upon ourselves and improve our own character and conduct, we should try to teach children the correct way of thinking, which is that we should bring forth heartfelt respect for three kinds of people: (1) those who are more virtuous than we are, (2) those who are older than we are, and (3) those who have higher position than we do. I think probably everyone will agree that the first kind of person deserves respect. But we should also respect the latter two kinds of people regardless of their character. Why? There's a proverb, "The trials and tribulations take up 80 or 90 percent of our life." You could say there's more suffering than joy, more disasters than peace. If you think about how long our elders have struggled to be able to survive and be elders, wouldn't you say they are worthy of respect? Think about how much hard work teachers and high officials have put in to get where they are now. Don't they deserve our respect? What's more, everyone will get a turn to be honored as an elder. Therefore, whatever you want to harvest, you first have to plant. If you explain it to your children like this, they will gradually understand and start to respect elders and worthy ones from their heart. You should never force children into putting on a false show of courtesy and turning into hypocrites. On the other hand, don't be so lenient with then that they turn into wild kids with no sense of appreciation for all they have received.
“敬老尊賢”一直是中國的優(yōu)良傳統(tǒng)?！吨芏Y》所制定的〈鄉(xiāng)飲酒〉就是藉著鄉(xiāng)人一起宴飲的場合，一來敦親睦鄰，二來讓年輕人實習(xí)敬老尊賢。此外，古中國人尊重老師有如貴賓，坐時主人居?xùn)|，請老師西向?qū)ψ?，所以就尊稱老師為“西席”或“西賓”。這種尊師之禮，就是在豪門貴族也不例外；甚至有很多皇帝、皇子在平居時，對老師都恭敬執(zhí)持弟子之禮，不敢讓老師向自己跪拜。“程門立雪”，更是尊師之千古美談。
Reverence for elders and veneration for virtuous ones has always been a wholesome tradition in China. The Zhou Dynasty rite of "toasting," taken from the custom of the rural villagers, served to strengthen family bonds and neighborly harmony, and to allow young people to practice respecting their elders. Furthermore, in ancient times the Chinese people treated their teachers like honored guests. When sitting, the host would sit on the east side and invite the teacher to sit on the west side facing him. Thus the teacher came to have the honorific title "West-Seated One" or "Western Guest." Even the nobility followed these rules of etiquette for respecting teachers. Many emperors and princes, when they were living as civilians, would treat their teachers with the respect of a disciple, and would not let the teacher bow to them. The story of how "Cheng's students stood while it snowed" is a wonderful example of respect for one's teacher.
故事是這樣的；程頤、程灝兩兄弟都是宋朝有名的大儒，門下弟子都很多。哥哥程灝為人灑脫風(fēng)趣，時人稱譽他；聽其一席話，“如坐春風(fēng)三月”；弟弟程頤則嚴謹自持，弟子對他敬畏有加。有一天，兩位弟子陪侍著程頤，程頤忽然睡著，弟子沒得到吩咐，不敢退下，乃恭敬地侍立兩側(cè)；等到程頤醒來，弟子才告退，一看門外的積雪都快及膝了。所以“程門立雪”就成了后世禮敬嚴師的典故?，F(xiàn)代的社會里，我們雖然不必拘泥這些舊禮，但恭敬的誠心，應(yīng)該是古今不渝的。
It goes like this: Cheng Yi and Cheng Hao were two brothers in the Song Dynasty who were both renowned Confucian scholars with many disciples. The elder brother Cheng Hao was jovial and quick-witted. People praised him and said that listening to his lectures was like "sitting in the spring breeze for three months." His younger brother, Cheng Yi, was solemn and serious, and his students held him in respect and awe. Once when two of his students were attending upon him, Cheng Yi suddenly fell a sleep. Since he had not bidden them to leave, the two students dared not do so, but respectfully continued to stand on either side of their teacher. When he woke up, the students took their leave and discovered that the snow outside the door was already knee-deep. This story has been passed down to later generations as an illustration of respect for a stern teacher. Although we need not rigidly hol to old-fashioned rules of etiquette in modern society, the attitude of sincere respect is something that never changes with time.
Once when a department store put a want ad in the newspapers for an administrator, within three days eighty-some people showed up, virtually all of them bringing a letter of recommendation with them. After interviewing all of them, the manager finally hired a young man who had not brought a letter. When others expressed their surprise, the manager explained, "Everyone else brought only one letter of recommendation, but this young man brought three letters. When he walked into my office, he gently shut the door behind him; this was a letter describing his cautiousness. During his conversation with me, his voice was clear and his responses were logical; that was a letter telling me about his intelligence. When an older person came into my office, he quickly stood up; that was a letter telling me about his courteousness. His three letters of recommendation revealed themselves in his behavior; everyone else's letters were merely written on paper."
從這故事看來，平常就養(yǎng)成恭敬長者的習(xí)慣，鍛煉出不卑不亢的應(yīng)對的談吐，是做人做事成功的基礎(chǔ)。人是社會的動物，不能離群而索居。如何與人和睦相處，并獲得發(fā)展自我潛能的機會，以服務(wù)人群，這是一生都要努力的課程；這個課程，開始得愈早愈澈底，將來的際遇也愈順利。因此，兒童的啟蒙教育，應(yīng)以孝悌為先，培養(yǎng)他們對父母師長的恭敬心；孩子長大跨入社會，自然就會是個有禮貌的人，這是成功地展開人際關(guān)系的第一步。
From this story, we can see that developing the habit of respecting our elders and speaking in a way that is neither lowly nor overbearing will ensure our success in dealing with people and matters. People are social creatures who cannot live in total isolation. We must seriously learn how to dwell in harmony with people in order to develop our own potentials so we can help the common good. This is the lesson of a lifetime, and the sooner and the more thoroughly we learn it, the smoother our life will be. Hence, early childhood education should stress filial piety and brotherhood first, teaching children to respect their parents. When they grow up and go out into the society, they will naturally be courteous and well-mannered; that is the first step in relating successfully to other people.
雖然也有人說：“大行不顧細節(jié)，何必這么拘謹呢？”但這只是說，小禮儀有時可以不必那么執(zhí)著，不表示我們的內(nèi)心可以不恭敬師長。恭敬應(yīng)該發(fā)自內(nèi)心，但是每個人內(nèi)心的看法不同，標(biāo)準也有異，有時就會遇到難題。時下的孩子，思想大都很活潑，也都很能言善辯；你若教他恭敬師長，他很可能反過來告訴你，這位老師或長輩言行如何如何，言下之意是他們覺得這位師長不值得尊敬。他們往往反問你；“你教我表現(xiàn)得恭敬，豈不是教我作假，裝兩面人嗎？這不誠實。”不少家長啞口無言，不知怎么回答好。
Some people may say, "In doing great deeds, one should not be hampered by fine details, why should we be so rigid?" This is only saying that we don't always have to be too attached to minor points of etiquette; it doesn't mean we can be disrespectful to our teachers and elders in our minds. Respect should come from the heart. However, everyone's outlook and standard is different, so sometimes we run into problems. Children of today are very liberal in their outlook and very good at arguing their own views. If you tell them to respect their teachers and elders, they might respond by telling you certain things about their teacher or elder, implying that the person is not worth respecting. They often ask you, "If you ask me to show respect, aren't you just asking me to put on a false front? It's not for real." Many parents are left speechless; they don't know how to reply.
所以我們?yōu)槿烁改笌熼L的，除了要時常躬自反省，改進自身的品行外，還得灌輸孩子們正確的概念。什么呢？我們發(fā)自內(nèi)心來尊敬三種人：第一是品德比自己好的人；第二是年紀比自己大的人；第三是職位比自己高的人。第一種人，相信誰都會認為值得尊敬；第二、第三種人，不管他的品行如何，還是應(yīng)該尊敬。為什么？俗語說：“人生不如意，十常八九?！笨芍^苦多于樂，災(zāi)患多于平安；想想看，這位長輩，要奮斗到現(xiàn)在，才能夠活著成為比我們年長的人，難道不值得尊重？這位老師或長官，要努力到現(xiàn)在，才有今天的身份和職位，難道不值得尊重？何況每個人都有機會輪到做尊長的時候，“要怎么收獲，先怎么栽”。這么開解給孩子聽，而能發(fā)自內(nèi)心去敬老尊賢了。千萬不要以權(quán)威去強迫孩子虛應(yīng)事故，讓他戴個禮貌的假面具，而成為偽君子；也不要縱容孩子，讓他長成一個不知天高地厚的狂妄小子。
As parents, teachers, and elders, not only should we always reflect upon ourselves and improve our own character and conduct, we should try to teach children the correct way of thinking, which is that we should bring forth heartfelt respect for three kinds of people: (1) those who are more virtuous than we are, (2) those who are older than we are, and (3) those who have higher position than we do. I think probably everyone will agree that the first kind of person deserves respect. But we should also respect the latter two kinds of people regardless of their character. Why? There's a proverb, "The trials and tribulations take up 80 or 90 percent of our life." You could say there's more suffering than joy, more disasters than peace. If you think about how long our elders have struggled to be able to survive and be elders, wouldn't you say they are worthy of respect? Think about how much hard work teachers and high officials have put in to get where they are now. Don't they deserve our respect? What's more, everyone will get a turn to be honored as an elder. Therefore, whatever you want to harvest, you first have to plant. If you explain it to your children like this, they will gradually understand and start to respect elders and worthy ones from their heart. You should never force children into putting on a false show of courtesy and turning into hypocrites. On the other hand, don't be so lenient with then that they turn into wild kids with no sense of appreciation for all they have received.
“敬老尊賢”一直是中國的優(yōu)良傳統(tǒng)?！吨芏Y》所制定的〈鄉(xiāng)飲酒〉就是藉著鄉(xiāng)人一起宴飲的場合，一來敦親睦鄰，二來讓年輕人實習(xí)敬老尊賢。此外，古中國人尊重老師有如貴賓，坐時主人居?xùn)|，請老師西向?qū)ψ?，所以就尊稱老師為“西席”或“西賓”。這種尊師之禮，就是在豪門貴族也不例外；甚至有很多皇帝、皇子在平居時，對老師都恭敬執(zhí)持弟子之禮，不敢讓老師向自己跪拜。“程門立雪”，更是尊師之千古美談。
Reverence for elders and veneration for virtuous ones has always been a wholesome tradition in China. The Zhou Dynasty rite of "toasting," taken from the custom of the rural villagers, served to strengthen family bonds and neighborly harmony, and to allow young people to practice respecting their elders. Furthermore, in ancient times the Chinese people treated their teachers like honored guests. When sitting, the host would sit on the east side and invite the teacher to sit on the west side facing him. Thus the teacher came to have the honorific title "West-Seated One" or "Western Guest." Even the nobility followed these rules of etiquette for respecting teachers. Many emperors and princes, when they were living as civilians, would treat their teachers with the respect of a disciple, and would not let the teacher bow to them. The story of how "Cheng's students stood while it snowed" is a wonderful example of respect for one's teacher.
故事是這樣的；程頤、程灝兩兄弟都是宋朝有名的大儒，門下弟子都很多。哥哥程灝為人灑脫風(fēng)趣，時人稱譽他；聽其一席話，“如坐春風(fēng)三月”；弟弟程頤則嚴謹自持，弟子對他敬畏有加。有一天，兩位弟子陪侍著程頤，程頤忽然睡著，弟子沒得到吩咐，不敢退下，乃恭敬地侍立兩側(cè)；等到程頤醒來，弟子才告退，一看門外的積雪都快及膝了。所以“程門立雪”就成了后世禮敬嚴師的典故?，F(xiàn)代的社會里，我們雖然不必拘泥這些舊禮，但恭敬的誠心，應(yīng)該是古今不渝的。
It goes like this: Cheng Yi and Cheng Hao were two brothers in the Song Dynasty who were both renowned Confucian scholars with many disciples. The elder brother Cheng Hao was jovial and quick-witted. People praised him and said that listening to his lectures was like "sitting in the spring breeze for three months." His younger brother, Cheng Yi, was solemn and serious, and his students held him in respect and awe. Once when two of his students were attending upon him, Cheng Yi suddenly fell a sleep. Since he had not bidden them to leave, the two students dared not do so, but respectfully continued to stand on either side of their teacher. When he woke up, the students took their leave and discovered that the snow outside the door was already knee-deep. This story has been passed down to later generations as an illustration of respect for a stern teacher. Although we need not rigidly hol to old-fashioned rules of etiquette in modern society, the attitude of sincere respect is something that never changes with time.