英文簡歷中禁止出現(xiàn)的錯誤和幽默

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    致命的大錯
    "finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."
    "qualifications: no education or experience."
    "i am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."
    "my compensation should be at least equal to my age."
    "reason for leaving: it had to do with the irs, fbi and sec."
    "fired because i fought for lower pay."
    "size of employer: very tall, probably over 65" .
    " "please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."
    "reason for leaving: my boss said the end of the world is near."
    "reason for leaving: the owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. i prefer to elaborate privately."
    打字錯誤與語法錯誤
    "here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
    "strengths: ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
    "i am a rabid typist."
    "work history: performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."
    "after receiving advice from several different angels, i have decided to pursue a new line of work."
    "accounting cleric."
    "as indicted, i have over five years of experience analyzing investments."
    "suspected to graduate early next year."
    "disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
    "proven ability to track down and correct erors."
    "accomplishments: oversight of entire department."
    "am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
    "accomplishments: completed 11 years of high school."
    不應(yīng)有的幽默
    "note: keep this resume on top of the stack. use all others to heat your house."
    "assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (translation: short-order cook.)
    "but wait...theres more. you get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."
    "i have an excellent track record, although i am not a horse."
    "my fortune cookie said, your next interview will result in a job-and i like your company in particular."
    "title: another resume from the profiles in excellence series."
    "also known as: mr. productivity, mr. clever, mr.fix-it."
    "trustworthy references available upon request-if i give them a few bucks."
    "lets meet so you can ooh and ahh over my experience."