能恰當(dāng)?shù)刭澝绖e人是一件佳事，可是該怎樣贊揚(yáng)別人可不是人人都會(huì)的。下面這些建議你可需要認(rèn)真考量哦！
3. The effusiveness and time spent in giving praise should be commensurate with the difficulty and time-intensiveness of the task. If a task was quick and easy, a hasty “Looks great!” will do; if a task was protracted and difficult, the praise should be more lengthy and descriptive. Also, you might bring up the praise more than once.
表?yè)P(yáng)用的時(shí)間和言語(yǔ)應(yīng)該和該任務(wù)的困難程度和時(shí)間強(qiáng)度一致。 如果一項(xiàng)任務(wù)即快又容易，那么匆忙一聲“看起來(lái)不錯(cuò)！”就行了；如果一項(xiàng)任務(wù)冗長(zhǎng)而困難，那么表?yè)P(yáng)的話應(yīng)該更長(zhǎng)、更具體。同樣，你可能要多次表?yè)P(yáng)。
4. Remember the negativity bias. The “negativity bias” is a well-recognized psychological phenomenon: people react to the bad more strongly and persistently than to the comparable good. For example, within marriage, it takes at least five good acts to repair the damage of one critical or destructive act. So if you want to praise someone, remember that one critical comment will wipe out several positive comments, and will be far more memorable. To stay silent, and then remark something like, “It’s too bad that that door couldn’t be fixed,” will be perceived as highly critical。
記住“消極偏見”。“消極偏見”是一種為人熟知的心理現(xiàn)象：人們對(duì)壞話的反應(yīng)比對(duì)好話更強(qiáng)烈、更持久。例如在婚姻中，至少要五次善舉才能修復(fù)一次批評(píng)或破壞性的行為給人帶來(lái)的創(chuàng)傷。所以，如果你想表?yè)P(yáng)某人，記著一句批評(píng)的話會(huì)抵消幾句肯定的評(píng)價(jià)，而且會(huì)更讓人記憶深刻。沉默許久然后說(shuō)一句：“真糟糕，門修不好了”將是一句高度批評(píng)的話。
5. Praise the everyday as well as the exceptional. When people do something unusual, it’s easy to remember to give praise. But what about the things they do well every day without any recognition? It never hurts to point out how much you appreciate the small services and tasks that someone unfailingly performs. Something like, “You know what? In three years, I don’t think you’ve ever been even an hour late with the weekly report.” After all, we never forget to make a comment when someone screws up.
表?yè)P(yáng)特別的貢獻(xiàn)，也要褒獎(jiǎng)點(diǎn)滴的善舉。當(dāng)別人做了某件不同尋常的事情，我們都記得去表?yè)P(yáng)別人。但是對(duì)于那些人們每天都做得很好卻沒有獲得認(rèn)可的事情呢？去表達(dá)別人細(xì)心和不倦幫助的欣賞吧，再怎么多也不過(guò)分。比如：“你知道嗎？三年來(lái)，你的周報(bào)告從來(lái)不會(huì)哪怕晚交一小時(shí)”。畢竟，我們卻從不忘在別人出錯(cuò)時(shí)批評(píng)上一句。
If anyone has any tips for how to free yourself from the craving for praise, send them my way! I really need them. The need for praise is such an ingrained part of my personality that I doubt I’d be able to change completely, but I can do better.
如果誰(shuí)有任何能讓人擺脫渴求表?yè)P(yáng)習(xí)慣的建議，請(qǐng)發(fā)給我！我很需要它們。對(duì)表?yè)P(yáng)的需要是我個(gè)性中根深蒂固的一部分。我懷疑我能否徹底改掉這毛病，不過(guò)我想我能做得更好。
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3. The effusiveness and time spent in giving praise should be commensurate with the difficulty and time-intensiveness of the task. If a task was quick and easy, a hasty “Looks great!” will do; if a task was protracted and difficult, the praise should be more lengthy and descriptive. Also, you might bring up the praise more than once.
表?yè)P(yáng)用的時(shí)間和言語(yǔ)應(yīng)該和該任務(wù)的困難程度和時(shí)間強(qiáng)度一致。 如果一項(xiàng)任務(wù)即快又容易，那么匆忙一聲“看起來(lái)不錯(cuò)！”就行了；如果一項(xiàng)任務(wù)冗長(zhǎng)而困難，那么表?yè)P(yáng)的話應(yīng)該更長(zhǎng)、更具體。同樣，你可能要多次表?yè)P(yáng)。
4. Remember the negativity bias. The “negativity bias” is a well-recognized psychological phenomenon: people react to the bad more strongly and persistently than to the comparable good. For example, within marriage, it takes at least five good acts to repair the damage of one critical or destructive act. So if you want to praise someone, remember that one critical comment will wipe out several positive comments, and will be far more memorable. To stay silent, and then remark something like, “It’s too bad that that door couldn’t be fixed,” will be perceived as highly critical。
記住“消極偏見”。“消極偏見”是一種為人熟知的心理現(xiàn)象：人們對(duì)壞話的反應(yīng)比對(duì)好話更強(qiáng)烈、更持久。例如在婚姻中，至少要五次善舉才能修復(fù)一次批評(píng)或破壞性的行為給人帶來(lái)的創(chuàng)傷。所以，如果你想表?yè)P(yáng)某人，記著一句批評(píng)的話會(huì)抵消幾句肯定的評(píng)價(jià)，而且會(huì)更讓人記憶深刻。沉默許久然后說(shuō)一句：“真糟糕，門修不好了”將是一句高度批評(píng)的話。
5. Praise the everyday as well as the exceptional. When people do something unusual, it’s easy to remember to give praise. But what about the things they do well every day without any recognition? It never hurts to point out how much you appreciate the small services and tasks that someone unfailingly performs. Something like, “You know what? In three years, I don’t think you’ve ever been even an hour late with the weekly report.” After all, we never forget to make a comment when someone screws up.
表?yè)P(yáng)特別的貢獻(xiàn)，也要褒獎(jiǎng)點(diǎn)滴的善舉。當(dāng)別人做了某件不同尋常的事情，我們都記得去表?yè)P(yáng)別人。但是對(duì)于那些人們每天都做得很好卻沒有獲得認(rèn)可的事情呢？去表達(dá)別人細(xì)心和不倦幫助的欣賞吧，再怎么多也不過(guò)分。比如：“你知道嗎？三年來(lái)，你的周報(bào)告從來(lái)不會(huì)哪怕晚交一小時(shí)”。畢竟，我們卻從不忘在別人出錯(cuò)時(shí)批評(píng)上一句。
If anyone has any tips for how to free yourself from the craving for praise, send them my way! I really need them. The need for praise is such an ingrained part of my personality that I doubt I’d be able to change completely, but I can do better.
如果誰(shuí)有任何能讓人擺脫渴求表?yè)P(yáng)習(xí)慣的建議，請(qǐng)發(fā)給我！我很需要它們。對(duì)表?yè)P(yáng)的需要是我個(gè)性中根深蒂固的一部分。我懷疑我能否徹底改掉這毛病，不過(guò)我想我能做得更好。
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