Abide
Yeah, I got some speeding tickets. But I'm a law-abiding citizen and I'm not an offender. I'm more like a speeding-ticket collector.
是的，我是收到過一些違規(guī)超速的罰單。不過我可是一個(gè)守法公民，而不是違法者。我更象一個(gè)超速罰單收藏家。
注：你因?yàn)槌俦唤痪瘮r下后你敢這樣對(duì)警察說嗎？
Abolish
If everybody becomes middle-class, the middle-class will automatically be abolished. If everybody is in the middle, there is no middle. So I'd rather to stay in the low class, or even negative class so you can be in the middle class.
如果人人都成了中產(chǎn)階級(jí)，中產(chǎn)階級(jí)將會(huì)被自動(dòng)取消。如果人人都在中間，就沒有中間。所以我寧愿呆在低的那個(gè)階級(jí)，甚至負(fù)階級(jí)，好讓你們當(dāng)中產(chǎn)階級(jí)。
Absurd
You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.
不嘗試荒謬你就成就不了不可能的事。
注：人類歷每次重大的科技進(jìn)步一開始在常人看來都有點(diǎn)兒的荒謬。
Accommodate
Lord Emsworth had of those minds capable of accommodating but one thought at a time ---if that.
艾姆公爵的大腦一次只能容納一種思想--如果他有的話。
注：他不僅一根筋，而且還可能沒腦子。
Acquaint
Prosecutor: Your Honor, my opponent is a liar!
Defense attorney: Your honor, my opponent is a cheat!
Judge: Good, I'm glad to see you're acquainted with each other.
公訴人：法官大人，我的對(duì)手是個(gè)說謊者！
辯護(hù)律師：法官大人，我的對(duì)手是個(gè)騙子！
法官：很好，很高興你們相互認(rèn)識(shí)。
Acquit
The judge told the prisoner that the jury had acquitted him on the charge of bigamy.
"You are free to leave the court and go home."
"Thank you. But which home shall I go to?"
法官告訴犯人陪審團(tuán)撤消對(duì)他重婚罪的指控。
"你自由了，離開法庭回家吧。"
"謝謝，但我該回哪一個(gè)家？"
addict
If you are addicted to knitting while eating, you should exercise some caution... especially with macaroni.
如果你吃飯時(shí)還沉溺于打毛衣，要小心點(diǎn)兒......特別是吃通心粉時(shí)。
注：別把毛線和通心粉弄混了。
There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.
有些人沉湎于夸張，以至于他們不說謊就講不了真話。
注：自相矛盾。
There is a division of labor, even in vice; some persons addict themselves to the speculation only, others to the practice.
勞動(dòng)有分工，干壞事也不例外；一些人只沉溺于思考，一些人熱衷于實(shí)踐。
注：有些人先思考后實(shí)踐，有些人先實(shí)踐后思考。
Hi, I'm Bill and I'm an Internet addict. But I've been off-line now for 4 days, 12 hours, and 8 minutes.
嗨，我是Bill，我是個(gè)網(wǎng)蟲，不過我現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)有4天零12個(gè)小時(shí)零8分鐘沒上網(wǎng)了。
注：形象地表現(xiàn)了不上網(wǎng)時(shí)分分秒秒的煎熬。
Adhere
Strong adherence to principles: Stubborn.
嚴(yán)格堅(jiān)持原則：頑固
注：你不說某人"頑固"，而說他"嚴(yán)格堅(jiān)持原則"，這是說話的藝術(shù)，也是一種拍馬*的藝術(shù)。
Adolescent
Adolescence: I went to my son's school to see his guidance counselor. He told me my boy was out: He'd be back in one to three years.
青春期：我去我兒子的學(xué)?？赐闹笇?dǎo)老師，他告訴我我兒子出去了，一到三年內(nèi)就會(huì)回來。
注：青春期比較躁動(dòng)，這小子一出去兩三年都不回來。
Adore
In Ireland there is so little sense of compromise that a girl has to choose between adoration and pregnancy.
在愛爾蘭很少有妥協(xié)的概念，女孩不得不在愛慕和懷孕之間作出選擇。
注：如果女孩子想讓男孩子愛慕她就不能懷孕，一旦懷孕，就把男孩子嚇跑了，愛慕也就不存在了。
Why are babies like hinges?
Because they are things to adore.
為什么嬰兒象鉸鏈？--因?yàn)樗麄冏屓藧勰健?BR> 注：adore 與 a door諧音。 Because they are things to adore還可理解成：他們是門上的東西。
Adverse
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another person's, I mean.
通過努力我們很容易學(xué)會(huì)忍受災(zāi)難，我的意思是，別人的災(zāi)難。
注：忍受別人的災(zāi)難還是要容易些。
A person who smiles in the face of adversity ... probably has a scapegoat.
一個(gè)面對(duì)災(zāi)難微笑的人......可能找到了一個(gè)替罪羊。
注：一般來說面對(duì)災(zāi)難微笑的人意志力都比較堅(jiān)強(qiáng)，也有一些人面對(duì)災(zāi)難的微笑和意志力無關(guān)，他們找到了替罪羊。
I fear nothing in the face of adversity, because there's no adversity in my dictionary, and what is more, I don't have a dictionary.
我面對(duì)災(zāi)難臨危不懼，因?yàn)槲业淖值淅餂]有災(zāi)難，我也沒有字典。
Affirm
Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
輸血前要確定血液是陰性還是陽性。
注：字面意思是：輸血前要確定血液是肯定的還是否定的。
An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No."
The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
一個(gè)應(yīng)聘者正填寫應(yīng)聘表格。填到"是否被逮捕過？"這個(gè)問題時(shí)，他回答："否"。下一個(gè)問題是讓回答"是"的人填"為什么？"應(yīng)聘者填寫："從沒被抓住過。"
注：一個(gè)誠實(shí)的應(yīng)聘者。
Afflict
To bear other people's afflictions, everyone has courage and enough to spare.
每個(gè)人都有足夠的勇氣忍受別人的痛苦。
注：別人發(fā)生可不幸的事我們有很多理由勸他，但當(dāng)輪到自己頭上，情況就完全不一樣了。
藝術(shù)家的氣質(zhì)是一種折磨著業(yè)余愛好者的疾病，。
The artistic temperament is a disease that afflicts amateurs.
注：業(yè)余愛好者沒有藝術(shù)家的氣質(zhì)，但他們很多人留著長(zhǎng)頭發(fā)、戴著墨鏡來彌補(bǔ)一下。
Agony
I've never heard anything that so clearly suggests the agony of primitive man as your attempt to play the cello.
我從來沒有這么清晰地聽過你嘗試演奏大提琴時(shí)所表達(dá)出來的原始人的痛苦。
注：原始人的痛苦是什么樣的？
He looks like he's in great agony when he plays the cello, probably because he was dramatically ripped off when he bought it.
他演奏大提琴時(shí)顯得非常痛苦，可能買大提琴時(shí)被人狠宰了一刀。
No doubt the real agony of Hell won't be the burning fires but having all the secret humiliations of your life played back to you in perpetuity and in stereo.
毫無疑問下地獄的真正痛苦不會(huì)是熊熊的烈火，而是把你一生中不被人所知的屈辱一遍又一遍立體聲回放。
注：人生不容易，有很多的屈辱深深埋在心底，不想讓別人知道。
Agreeable
No one can be as unagreeable as an uninvited guest.
沒有誰象沒有被邀請(qǐng)的客人那么讓人不快的了。
注：
If you didn't buy me a drink, I'd tell everyone you are not agreeable and very mean.
如果你不請(qǐng)我喝酒，我就會(huì)告訴別人你令人很不愉快，很小氣。
在我看來一個(gè)令人愉悅的人就是同意我的人，你同意我的觀點(diǎn)嗎？
My ides of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. Do you agree to my point?
I admit I would rather choose a wife who has the usual number of limbs ... and although one eye may be very agreeable, society has always been in favor of two.
我承認(rèn)我寧愿選擇一個(gè)四肢健全的妻子......盡管一只眼睛也可能很令人愉快，但世俗的偏見還是認(rèn)為兩只眼睛好。
注：世俗的偏見認(rèn)為兩只眼睛好，認(rèn)為頭發(fā)茂盛好。
Aide
I'm the kind of person who'd get a paper cut trying to open a Band-Aide.
我是那種想打開"邦迪創(chuàng)可貼"，卻把手劃破了的人。
注：運(yùn)氣不好，喝涼水都塞牙。
air-conditioning
If you want to just be warm in your room, please control yourself. -- From the instructions on a Japanese hotel air conditioner.
如果你只想要房間里暖和，請(qǐng)控制你自己--日本一家旅館空調(diào)使用說明。
Most criminals actually work long hours, frequently in buildings without air-conditioning.
大部分罪犯實(shí)際工作時(shí)間很長(zhǎng)，而且經(jīng)常在沒有空調(diào)的建筑物里。
注：要當(dāng)罪犯必須要承受一些東西。
Why don't rabbits get hot in the summertime?
They have hare-conditioning.
為什么兔子在夏天不會(huì)覺得熱？
它們有空調(diào)。
注：Hare(兔子)與Air(空氣)。
What gets colder as it warms up?
An air-conditioner.
什么東西熱機(jī)后變冷？--空調(diào)
注：warm up：熱機(jī)；變暖。
Album
Father, showing Sam the family picture album[相片冊(cè)]: "And that's Mom and me on our wedding day".
Sam: "Is that the day Mom came to work for us?"
父親給Sam看家庭相片冊(cè)：這是你媽媽和我在我們的婚禮上。
Sam：是從那天媽媽來我們家開始給我們干活的嗎？
Alcoholic
Americans accept that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend[隱君子], a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but if he doesn't drive there's something wrong with him.
美國人可以接受酒鬼、癮君子、打妻子者，甚至記者，但如果他不開車，他一定有什么地方不對(duì)勁。
注：把記者和酒鬼、隱君子列在一起記者可能會(huì)不太高興。
I think newspapermen might be better than alcoholics.
我覺著記者可能要比酒鬼好點(diǎn)兒。
Hi, I'm Bill, and I'm an alcoholic. I have not had a drink for three months and two days.
嗨！我叫Bill，是一個(gè)酗酒者。我已經(jīng)有3個(gè)月零2天沒有沾酒了。
注：形象地表達(dá)了酗酒者戒酒時(shí)度日如年的感覺。
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
酗酒者是一個(gè)你不喜歡的喝得和你一樣多的人。
注：意思是：你也是一個(gè)酗酒者。
Alien
A spaceship from Mars landed right in the middle of the Boston Marathon. An alien popped out of the UFO and shouted to a runner going by, "take me to your leader."
一艘火星來的飛船正降落在Boston馬拉松隊(duì)伍的中間，一個(gè)外星人從不明飛行物里跳出來沖著經(jīng)過身邊的選手喊，"帶我去見你們的頭，"
What do space alien eat for breakfast??
Flying sausage
外星人早飯吃什么？--飛行香腸
注：frying sausage[煎香腸]與flying sausage[飛行香腸]
What do you say to a two-headed space alien?------Hello, hello.
你沖長(zhǎng)著兩個(gè)腦袋的外星人說什么？--你好，你好
Alienate
No one knows the worth of woman's love untill he sues for alienation.
在他起訴分財(cái)產(chǎn)以前誰也不知道女人愛的價(jià)值。
注：這里說"愛的價(jià)值"就是"財(cái)產(chǎn)"。
Alleviate
It would be absolutely magical if we could alleviate our hunger with something that tasted like food.
如果我們吃一些味道象食物的東西能減輕饑餓，那絕對(duì)是個(gè)奇跡。
注：圣經(jīng)上說耶穌憑空弄出了很多食物是個(gè)奇跡，"味道象食物的東西"可能是指喝啤酒。
Almighty
Oh, yes, he thinks he's God Almighty.
是的，他認(rèn)為他是全能的上帝。
注：當(dāng)問這個(gè)人是不是信教時(shí)，有人這么回答。
Alternate
Retirement is when millions of Americans finally have the opportunity to adopt an alternate lifestyle --- poverty.
退休是百萬美國人終于有機(jī)會(huì)換一種方式生活了--貧窮。
注：退休以后掙錢就少了。
As you can see, we have alternating currents. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
你們都知道，我們用的是交流電，有時(shí)工作，有時(shí)不工作。
Alternate currents make people feel it's unstable.
交流電總給人一種不穩(wěn)定的感覺。
Ambitious
He had observed that people who did lie were, on the whole, more resourceful, ambitious, and successful than people who did not.
據(jù)他觀察說謊的人在整體上要比不說謊的人更機(jī)智，更有雄心，更成功。
注：你同不同意這個(gè)結(jié)論。
Ammunition
John: I suggest we wage a battle of wits.
Ron: Personally, I think you're low on ammunition.
John: 我建議我們發(fā)動(dòng)一場(chǎng)智慧戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)。
Ron：我個(gè)人認(rèn)為你的彈藥缺乏。
注："發(fā)動(dòng)智慧戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)"是說"充分開動(dòng)腦筋，想一些好點(diǎn)子"。
Driver carries less than $20 IN AMMUNITION
司機(jī)帶著不到20美元的軍火。
注：汽車標(biāo)貼。意思是"誰也別惹我，我車上有軍火。：
Analyst
A policy analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.
政策分析師是一類道德水準(zhǔn)低下得有資格當(dāng)律師，不切實(shí)際得可以當(dāng)神學(xué)家，迂腐得可以成為經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家的人。
注：有些律師就知道掙錢，不關(guān)心什么正義和良心；有些神學(xué)家和實(shí)際一點(diǎn)都不著邊，云山霧照；有些經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家沒有實(shí)際經(jīng)驗(yàn)，做一些迂腐的預(yù)測(cè)。很多政策分析師比這些人好不到哪兒去。
Anecdote
When a man falls into his anecdotage it is a sign for him to retire from the world.
當(dāng)一個(gè)人陷入自己軼事的追憶之中時(shí)，那就是他從這個(gè)世界退休的跡象。
注：人們每天很充實(shí)的時(shí)候，沒時(shí)間追憶往事。
Angel
In heaven an angel is nobody in particular.
在天堂里天使不是什么特殊人物。
注：到了清華、北大各省市狀元也就不那么突出了。
Appendix
The modern king has become a vermiform appendix: useless when quiet; when obtrusive[突出], in danger of removal.
現(xiàn)代國王已經(jīng)變成了闌尾：安靜時(shí)沒有用處；突出時(shí)有被割掉的危險(xiǎn)。
注：你調(diào)侃自己處境很尷尬，也可以這么說：
I'm like an appendix: useless when quiet; when obtrusive[突出], in danger of removal.
我就象闌尾：安靜時(shí)沒有用處；突出時(shí)有被割掉的危險(xiǎn)。
I had my appendix removed in order to run faster.
為了跑得更快點(diǎn)兒，我把闌尾都割了。
Wife: Why did you tear out the back pages of the new book?
Absent-minded doctor: I'm sorry, dear. That section was labeled "Appendix", and I took it out without thinking."
妻子：為什么你把這本新書的后面幾頁都撕掉了？
心不在焉的教授：對(duì)不起，親愛的，那部分標(biāo)著 "闌尾 "[附錄]，我想都沒想就弄掉了。
注：Appendix：附錄；闌尾
Applaud
What can I say? Applaud in my ear and I'll follow you anywhere.
我能說點(diǎn)兒什么呢？如果我耳邊有掌聲響著，我跟你們?nèi)ツ膬憾夹小?BR> 注：講演者希望來點(diǎn)兒掌聲。
I like to hear applause. One day I passed a kindergarten, kids happened to be singing and clapping hands, and I stayed there for the whole morning.
我就愿意聽掌聲，有一天我路過一個(gè)幼兒園，小朋友正在練習(xí)拍手歌，我在那兒呆了一上午。
What speakers fear most is a poorly coordinated audience. People who can't sleep and applaud at the same time.
講演者最害怕的是觀眾身體不協(xié)調(diào)，人們不能同時(shí)邊睡覺邊鼓掌。
It's not that they don't want to applaud for me, it's because many fall asleep.
不是他們不愿意給我鼓掌，是因?yàn)楹芏嗳硕妓恕?BR> Apt
A man bitten by a dog, no matter whether the animal is mad or not, is apt to get mad himself.
被狗咬了，不管是不是瘋狗，人很容易瘋。
注："他不想被狗咬，可是被狗咬了，所以他瘋了"這樣的推理是否合乎邏輯。
If you have no enemies, you are apt to have the same predicament[困境] in regard to friends.
如果你沒有敵人，你就容易陷入沒有朋友的相同困境。
注：我同意這種觀點(diǎn)。如果一個(gè)人沒有敵人，他也就不是那么急切地拉攏一些朋友共同對(duì)付敵人。
When they come downstairs from their ivory towers, idealists are apt to walk straight into the gutter.[下水道]
理想主義者從象牙塔里走下樓梯時(shí)，很容易直接走進(jìn)下水道。
注：理想主義者在現(xiàn)實(shí)社會(huì)中要翻船。
Men who do not make advances to women are apt to become the victims of women who make advances to them.
不主動(dòng)進(jìn)攻女人的男人容易成為向他們發(fā)起進(jìn)攻的女人的犧牲品。
注：不主動(dòng)進(jìn)攻女人的男人沒有經(jīng)驗(yàn)，女人稍微向他們進(jìn)攻一點(diǎn)，他們就就范了。
Articulate
"The more articulate, the less said" is an old Chinese proverb that I just made up myself.
"話說得越清晰，說得就越少"是一個(gè)我自己剛編的古老的中國格言。
注：自相矛盾。
Aspire
I've had those books for years. They represent the person I once aspired to be.
我擁有這些書已經(jīng)好幾年了，它們代表了我曾經(jīng)想成為什么樣的人。
注：現(xiàn)在事過境遷，人物已非。
Ass
When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing.
When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating.
當(dāng)我取悅我的老板時(shí)，我在拍馬*；
當(dāng)我的老板取悅他的老板時(shí)，他是在合作。
注：當(dāng)你想說某人愛拍馬*時(shí)，你可以藝術(shù)地說"你真善于和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)合作"。
Assassination
Assassination is the extreme form of censorship[新聞檢查]
暗殺是新聞檢查的極端形式。
注：如果某個(gè)報(bào)紙對(duì)新聞檢查不管不顧，就派人把報(bào)紙老板殺掉。
Assimilate
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile[沒用的] You Will Be Assimilated.
我們是微軟，抵抗無濟(jì)于事，你們將被消化吸收。
注：模仿微軟說話的口氣，微軟對(duì)很多小的軟件公司不是兼并，就是消滅。
Astronaut
Student:I enrolled at this college to learn how to be an astronaut.
Professor: hummm. I thought you came here to take up space.
學(xué)生：我上這所學(xué)校是來學(xué)習(xí)怎樣成為一名宇航員。
教授：我還以為你來這是占空間來了。
注：教授的意思是這個(gè)學(xué)生除了占地方外，一無是處。
When does a boxer[拳擊手] look like an astronaut?
When he sees stars.
拳擊手什么時(shí)候象宇航員？
眼冒金星時(shí)。
Auction
Firefighter: Hey, Chief! There's a 1959 pumper truck being auctioned today. Let's buy it.
Fire chief: What in the world would we do with an old, broken-down fire truck?
Firefighter: Well, we could use it for false alarms!
消防隊(duì)員：嘿，頭兒，今天有一輛1959年的消防卡車要拍賣，我們買了吧。
隊(duì)長(zhǎng)：一輛老破消防卡車有什么用？
消防隊(duì)員：誤報(bào)火警時(shí)我們用。
Autobiography
Janie: Mom, how old is our car?
Mom: About five years old, honey.
Janie: And what kind is it?
Mom: A station wagon. Why all the questions about the car?
Janie: My teacher told us to write our autobiography.
Janie：媽媽，我們家的汽車幾年了？
媽媽：大約5年里，寶貝。
JanieL：什么牌子？
媽媽：旅行車（？）為什么老問汽車？
Janie：老師要我們寫汽車傳記（自傳）。
Only when one has lost all curiosity about the future, has one reached the age to write an autobiography.
只有當(dāng)一個(gè)人完全失去了對(duì)將來的興趣，他就到了寫傳記的年齡了。
注：所以不要忙著寫傳記。
Avail
There are few sorrows, however poignant[刻骨銘心], in which a good income is of no avail.
不管多么刻骨銘心的悲傷，很少有收入增加后不減輕的。
注：如果鄰居被車撞得很重，你得了50萬賠償，你還會(huì)那么悲傷嗎？
Nicola: I've proposed to four different men without avail.
Nicholas: Next time, try wearing a veil.
Nicola：我向四個(gè)不同的男人求過婚都沒有成功。
Nicholas：下次，試著戴上面紗。
注：Without avail: 徒勞；Avail 與 a veil(面紗)
Awe
I thought I'd start things off with the "shock and awe" phase of the operation.
我認(rèn)為我們?cè)撻_始"震懾行動(dòng)"。
注：美國攻打阿富汗取名"震懾行動(dòng)"。如果不分場(chǎng)合亂用"震懾行動(dòng)"就有點(diǎn)兒好玩兒了。
Axis
Oh my God, the entire axis of boring is in there.
上帝啊，無聊中心在這兒！
注：模仿布什提出的邪惡中心: axis of vice
練習(xí)：
Abolish(3次)
1. Slavery was _______in Canada in 1833, and Canadian authorities encouraged the slaves, who escaped from America, to settle on its vast virgin land. (05/12)
A) abolished B) resigned C) diluted D) dissipated
2. Excellent films are those which＿＿＿ national and cultural barriers. (05/6)
A) transcend B) traverse C) abolish D) suppress
3. Mike just discovered that his passport had _______ three months ago. (99/6)
A) abolished B) expired C) amended D) constrained
Abrupt(2次)
1. Even sensible men do ____ things sometimes. (02/6)
A) abrupt B) absurd C) acute D) apt
2. It is ________ that women should be paid less than men for doing the same kind of work. (02/1)
A) abrupt B) absurd C) adverse D) addictive
Absorb(2次)
1. The club will ________ new members the first week in September. (02/1)
A) enroll B) subscribe C) absorb D) register
2. When trapped in drifting sands, do not struggle, or you will be ______ in deeper. (98/1)
A) absorbed B) pushed C) heaved D) sucked
答案：
Abolish: AAB
Abrupt: BB
Absorb: AD
Yeah, I got some speeding tickets. But I'm a law-abiding citizen and I'm not an offender. I'm more like a speeding-ticket collector.
是的，我是收到過一些違規(guī)超速的罰單。不過我可是一個(gè)守法公民，而不是違法者。我更象一個(gè)超速罰單收藏家。
注：你因?yàn)槌俦唤痪瘮r下后你敢這樣對(duì)警察說嗎？
Abolish
If everybody becomes middle-class, the middle-class will automatically be abolished. If everybody is in the middle, there is no middle. So I'd rather to stay in the low class, or even negative class so you can be in the middle class.
如果人人都成了中產(chǎn)階級(jí)，中產(chǎn)階級(jí)將會(huì)被自動(dòng)取消。如果人人都在中間，就沒有中間。所以我寧愿呆在低的那個(gè)階級(jí)，甚至負(fù)階級(jí)，好讓你們當(dāng)中產(chǎn)階級(jí)。
Absurd
You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.
不嘗試荒謬你就成就不了不可能的事。
注：人類歷每次重大的科技進(jìn)步一開始在常人看來都有點(diǎn)兒的荒謬。
Accommodate
Lord Emsworth had of those minds capable of accommodating but one thought at a time ---if that.
艾姆公爵的大腦一次只能容納一種思想--如果他有的話。
注：他不僅一根筋，而且還可能沒腦子。
Acquaint
Prosecutor: Your Honor, my opponent is a liar!
Defense attorney: Your honor, my opponent is a cheat!
Judge: Good, I'm glad to see you're acquainted with each other.
公訴人：法官大人，我的對(duì)手是個(gè)說謊者！
辯護(hù)律師：法官大人，我的對(duì)手是個(gè)騙子！
法官：很好，很高興你們相互認(rèn)識(shí)。
Acquit
The judge told the prisoner that the jury had acquitted him on the charge of bigamy.
"You are free to leave the court and go home."
"Thank you. But which home shall I go to?"
法官告訴犯人陪審團(tuán)撤消對(duì)他重婚罪的指控。
"你自由了，離開法庭回家吧。"
"謝謝，但我該回哪一個(gè)家？"
addict
If you are addicted to knitting while eating, you should exercise some caution... especially with macaroni.
如果你吃飯時(shí)還沉溺于打毛衣，要小心點(diǎn)兒......特別是吃通心粉時(shí)。
注：別把毛線和通心粉弄混了。
There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.
有些人沉湎于夸張，以至于他們不說謊就講不了真話。
注：自相矛盾。
There is a division of labor, even in vice; some persons addict themselves to the speculation only, others to the practice.
勞動(dòng)有分工，干壞事也不例外；一些人只沉溺于思考，一些人熱衷于實(shí)踐。
注：有些人先思考后實(shí)踐，有些人先實(shí)踐后思考。
Hi, I'm Bill and I'm an Internet addict. But I've been off-line now for 4 days, 12 hours, and 8 minutes.
嗨，我是Bill，我是個(gè)網(wǎng)蟲，不過我現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)有4天零12個(gè)小時(shí)零8分鐘沒上網(wǎng)了。
注：形象地表現(xiàn)了不上網(wǎng)時(shí)分分秒秒的煎熬。
Adhere
Strong adherence to principles: Stubborn.
嚴(yán)格堅(jiān)持原則：頑固
注：你不說某人"頑固"，而說他"嚴(yán)格堅(jiān)持原則"，這是說話的藝術(shù)，也是一種拍馬*的藝術(shù)。
Adolescent
Adolescence: I went to my son's school to see his guidance counselor. He told me my boy was out: He'd be back in one to three years.
青春期：我去我兒子的學(xué)?？赐闹笇?dǎo)老師，他告訴我我兒子出去了，一到三年內(nèi)就會(huì)回來。
注：青春期比較躁動(dòng)，這小子一出去兩三年都不回來。
Adore
In Ireland there is so little sense of compromise that a girl has to choose between adoration and pregnancy.
在愛爾蘭很少有妥協(xié)的概念，女孩不得不在愛慕和懷孕之間作出選擇。
注：如果女孩子想讓男孩子愛慕她就不能懷孕，一旦懷孕，就把男孩子嚇跑了，愛慕也就不存在了。
Why are babies like hinges?
Because they are things to adore.
為什么嬰兒象鉸鏈？--因?yàn)樗麄冏屓藧勰健?BR> 注：adore 與 a door諧音。 Because they are things to adore還可理解成：他們是門上的東西。
Adverse
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another person's, I mean.
通過努力我們很容易學(xué)會(huì)忍受災(zāi)難，我的意思是，別人的災(zāi)難。
注：忍受別人的災(zāi)難還是要容易些。
A person who smiles in the face of adversity ... probably has a scapegoat.
一個(gè)面對(duì)災(zāi)難微笑的人......可能找到了一個(gè)替罪羊。
注：一般來說面對(duì)災(zāi)難微笑的人意志力都比較堅(jiān)強(qiáng)，也有一些人面對(duì)災(zāi)難的微笑和意志力無關(guān)，他們找到了替罪羊。
I fear nothing in the face of adversity, because there's no adversity in my dictionary, and what is more, I don't have a dictionary.
我面對(duì)災(zāi)難臨危不懼，因?yàn)槲业淖值淅餂]有災(zāi)難，我也沒有字典。
Affirm
Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
輸血前要確定血液是陰性還是陽性。
注：字面意思是：輸血前要確定血液是肯定的還是否定的。
An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No."
The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
一個(gè)應(yīng)聘者正填寫應(yīng)聘表格。填到"是否被逮捕過？"這個(gè)問題時(shí)，他回答："否"。下一個(gè)問題是讓回答"是"的人填"為什么？"應(yīng)聘者填寫："從沒被抓住過。"
注：一個(gè)誠實(shí)的應(yīng)聘者。
Afflict
To bear other people's afflictions, everyone has courage and enough to spare.
每個(gè)人都有足夠的勇氣忍受別人的痛苦。
注：別人發(fā)生可不幸的事我們有很多理由勸他，但當(dāng)輪到自己頭上，情況就完全不一樣了。
藝術(shù)家的氣質(zhì)是一種折磨著業(yè)余愛好者的疾病，。
The artistic temperament is a disease that afflicts amateurs.
注：業(yè)余愛好者沒有藝術(shù)家的氣質(zhì)，但他們很多人留著長(zhǎng)頭發(fā)、戴著墨鏡來彌補(bǔ)一下。
Agony
I've never heard anything that so clearly suggests the agony of primitive man as your attempt to play the cello.
我從來沒有這么清晰地聽過你嘗試演奏大提琴時(shí)所表達(dá)出來的原始人的痛苦。
注：原始人的痛苦是什么樣的？
He looks like he's in great agony when he plays the cello, probably because he was dramatically ripped off when he bought it.
他演奏大提琴時(shí)顯得非常痛苦，可能買大提琴時(shí)被人狠宰了一刀。
No doubt the real agony of Hell won't be the burning fires but having all the secret humiliations of your life played back to you in perpetuity and in stereo.
毫無疑問下地獄的真正痛苦不會(huì)是熊熊的烈火，而是把你一生中不被人所知的屈辱一遍又一遍立體聲回放。
注：人生不容易，有很多的屈辱深深埋在心底，不想讓別人知道。
Agreeable
No one can be as unagreeable as an uninvited guest.
沒有誰象沒有被邀請(qǐng)的客人那么讓人不快的了。
注：
If you didn't buy me a drink, I'd tell everyone you are not agreeable and very mean.
如果你不請(qǐng)我喝酒，我就會(huì)告訴別人你令人很不愉快，很小氣。
在我看來一個(gè)令人愉悅的人就是同意我的人，你同意我的觀點(diǎn)嗎？
My ides of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. Do you agree to my point?
I admit I would rather choose a wife who has the usual number of limbs ... and although one eye may be very agreeable, society has always been in favor of two.
我承認(rèn)我寧愿選擇一個(gè)四肢健全的妻子......盡管一只眼睛也可能很令人愉快，但世俗的偏見還是認(rèn)為兩只眼睛好。
注：世俗的偏見認(rèn)為兩只眼睛好，認(rèn)為頭發(fā)茂盛好。
Aide
I'm the kind of person who'd get a paper cut trying to open a Band-Aide.
我是那種想打開"邦迪創(chuàng)可貼"，卻把手劃破了的人。
注：運(yùn)氣不好，喝涼水都塞牙。
air-conditioning
If you want to just be warm in your room, please control yourself. -- From the instructions on a Japanese hotel air conditioner.
如果你只想要房間里暖和，請(qǐng)控制你自己--日本一家旅館空調(diào)使用說明。
Most criminals actually work long hours, frequently in buildings without air-conditioning.
大部分罪犯實(shí)際工作時(shí)間很長(zhǎng)，而且經(jīng)常在沒有空調(diào)的建筑物里。
注：要當(dāng)罪犯必須要承受一些東西。
Why don't rabbits get hot in the summertime?
They have hare-conditioning.
為什么兔子在夏天不會(huì)覺得熱？
它們有空調(diào)。
注：Hare(兔子)與Air(空氣)。
What gets colder as it warms up?
An air-conditioner.
什么東西熱機(jī)后變冷？--空調(diào)
注：warm up：熱機(jī)；變暖。
Album
Father, showing Sam the family picture album[相片冊(cè)]: "And that's Mom and me on our wedding day".
Sam: "Is that the day Mom came to work for us?"
父親給Sam看家庭相片冊(cè)：這是你媽媽和我在我們的婚禮上。
Sam：是從那天媽媽來我們家開始給我們干活的嗎？
Alcoholic
Americans accept that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend[隱君子], a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but if he doesn't drive there's something wrong with him.
美國人可以接受酒鬼、癮君子、打妻子者，甚至記者，但如果他不開車，他一定有什么地方不對(duì)勁。
注：把記者和酒鬼、隱君子列在一起記者可能會(huì)不太高興。
I think newspapermen might be better than alcoholics.
我覺著記者可能要比酒鬼好點(diǎn)兒。
Hi, I'm Bill, and I'm an alcoholic. I have not had a drink for three months and two days.
嗨！我叫Bill，是一個(gè)酗酒者。我已經(jīng)有3個(gè)月零2天沒有沾酒了。
注：形象地表達(dá)了酗酒者戒酒時(shí)度日如年的感覺。
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
酗酒者是一個(gè)你不喜歡的喝得和你一樣多的人。
注：意思是：你也是一個(gè)酗酒者。
Alien
A spaceship from Mars landed right in the middle of the Boston Marathon. An alien popped out of the UFO and shouted to a runner going by, "take me to your leader."
一艘火星來的飛船正降落在Boston馬拉松隊(duì)伍的中間，一個(gè)外星人從不明飛行物里跳出來沖著經(jīng)過身邊的選手喊，"帶我去見你們的頭，"
What do space alien eat for breakfast??
Flying sausage
外星人早飯吃什么？--飛行香腸
注：frying sausage[煎香腸]與flying sausage[飛行香腸]
What do you say to a two-headed space alien?------Hello, hello.
你沖長(zhǎng)著兩個(gè)腦袋的外星人說什么？--你好，你好
Alienate
No one knows the worth of woman's love untill he sues for alienation.
在他起訴分財(cái)產(chǎn)以前誰也不知道女人愛的價(jià)值。
注：這里說"愛的價(jià)值"就是"財(cái)產(chǎn)"。
Alleviate
It would be absolutely magical if we could alleviate our hunger with something that tasted like food.
如果我們吃一些味道象食物的東西能減輕饑餓，那絕對(duì)是個(gè)奇跡。
注：圣經(jīng)上說耶穌憑空弄出了很多食物是個(gè)奇跡，"味道象食物的東西"可能是指喝啤酒。
Almighty
Oh, yes, he thinks he's God Almighty.
是的，他認(rèn)為他是全能的上帝。
注：當(dāng)問這個(gè)人是不是信教時(shí)，有人這么回答。
Alternate
Retirement is when millions of Americans finally have the opportunity to adopt an alternate lifestyle --- poverty.
退休是百萬美國人終于有機(jī)會(huì)換一種方式生活了--貧窮。
注：退休以后掙錢就少了。
As you can see, we have alternating currents. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
你們都知道，我們用的是交流電，有時(shí)工作，有時(shí)不工作。
Alternate currents make people feel it's unstable.
交流電總給人一種不穩(wěn)定的感覺。
Ambitious
He had observed that people who did lie were, on the whole, more resourceful, ambitious, and successful than people who did not.
據(jù)他觀察說謊的人在整體上要比不說謊的人更機(jī)智，更有雄心，更成功。
注：你同不同意這個(gè)結(jié)論。
Ammunition
John: I suggest we wage a battle of wits.
Ron: Personally, I think you're low on ammunition.
John: 我建議我們發(fā)動(dòng)一場(chǎng)智慧戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)。
Ron：我個(gè)人認(rèn)為你的彈藥缺乏。
注："發(fā)動(dòng)智慧戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)"是說"充分開動(dòng)腦筋，想一些好點(diǎn)子"。
Driver carries less than $20 IN AMMUNITION
司機(jī)帶著不到20美元的軍火。
注：汽車標(biāo)貼。意思是"誰也別惹我，我車上有軍火。：
Analyst
A policy analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.
政策分析師是一類道德水準(zhǔn)低下得有資格當(dāng)律師，不切實(shí)際得可以當(dāng)神學(xué)家，迂腐得可以成為經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家的人。
注：有些律師就知道掙錢，不關(guān)心什么正義和良心；有些神學(xué)家和實(shí)際一點(diǎn)都不著邊，云山霧照；有些經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家沒有實(shí)際經(jīng)驗(yàn)，做一些迂腐的預(yù)測(cè)。很多政策分析師比這些人好不到哪兒去。
Anecdote
When a man falls into his anecdotage it is a sign for him to retire from the world.
當(dāng)一個(gè)人陷入自己軼事的追憶之中時(shí)，那就是他從這個(gè)世界退休的跡象。
注：人們每天很充實(shí)的時(shí)候，沒時(shí)間追憶往事。
Angel
In heaven an angel is nobody in particular.
在天堂里天使不是什么特殊人物。
注：到了清華、北大各省市狀元也就不那么突出了。
Appendix
The modern king has become a vermiform appendix: useless when quiet; when obtrusive[突出], in danger of removal.
現(xiàn)代國王已經(jīng)變成了闌尾：安靜時(shí)沒有用處；突出時(shí)有被割掉的危險(xiǎn)。
注：你調(diào)侃自己處境很尷尬，也可以這么說：
I'm like an appendix: useless when quiet; when obtrusive[突出], in danger of removal.
我就象闌尾：安靜時(shí)沒有用處；突出時(shí)有被割掉的危險(xiǎn)。
I had my appendix removed in order to run faster.
為了跑得更快點(diǎn)兒，我把闌尾都割了。
Wife: Why did you tear out the back pages of the new book?
Absent-minded doctor: I'm sorry, dear. That section was labeled "Appendix", and I took it out without thinking."
妻子：為什么你把這本新書的后面幾頁都撕掉了？
心不在焉的教授：對(duì)不起，親愛的，那部分標(biāo)著 "闌尾 "[附錄]，我想都沒想就弄掉了。
注：Appendix：附錄；闌尾
Applaud
What can I say? Applaud in my ear and I'll follow you anywhere.
我能說點(diǎn)兒什么呢？如果我耳邊有掌聲響著，我跟你們?nèi)ツ膬憾夹小?BR> 注：講演者希望來點(diǎn)兒掌聲。
I like to hear applause. One day I passed a kindergarten, kids happened to be singing and clapping hands, and I stayed there for the whole morning.
我就愿意聽掌聲，有一天我路過一個(gè)幼兒園，小朋友正在練習(xí)拍手歌，我在那兒呆了一上午。
What speakers fear most is a poorly coordinated audience. People who can't sleep and applaud at the same time.
講演者最害怕的是觀眾身體不協(xié)調(diào)，人們不能同時(shí)邊睡覺邊鼓掌。
It's not that they don't want to applaud for me, it's because many fall asleep.
不是他們不愿意給我鼓掌，是因?yàn)楹芏嗳硕妓恕?BR> Apt
A man bitten by a dog, no matter whether the animal is mad or not, is apt to get mad himself.
被狗咬了，不管是不是瘋狗，人很容易瘋。
注："他不想被狗咬，可是被狗咬了，所以他瘋了"這樣的推理是否合乎邏輯。
If you have no enemies, you are apt to have the same predicament[困境] in regard to friends.
如果你沒有敵人，你就容易陷入沒有朋友的相同困境。
注：我同意這種觀點(diǎn)。如果一個(gè)人沒有敵人，他也就不是那么急切地拉攏一些朋友共同對(duì)付敵人。
When they come downstairs from their ivory towers, idealists are apt to walk straight into the gutter.[下水道]
理想主義者從象牙塔里走下樓梯時(shí)，很容易直接走進(jìn)下水道。
注：理想主義者在現(xiàn)實(shí)社會(huì)中要翻船。
Men who do not make advances to women are apt to become the victims of women who make advances to them.
不主動(dòng)進(jìn)攻女人的男人容易成為向他們發(fā)起進(jìn)攻的女人的犧牲品。
注：不主動(dòng)進(jìn)攻女人的男人沒有經(jīng)驗(yàn)，女人稍微向他們進(jìn)攻一點(diǎn)，他們就就范了。
Articulate
"The more articulate, the less said" is an old Chinese proverb that I just made up myself.
"話說得越清晰，說得就越少"是一個(gè)我自己剛編的古老的中國格言。
注：自相矛盾。
Aspire
I've had those books for years. They represent the person I once aspired to be.
我擁有這些書已經(jīng)好幾年了，它們代表了我曾經(jīng)想成為什么樣的人。
注：現(xiàn)在事過境遷，人物已非。
Ass
When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing.
When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating.
當(dāng)我取悅我的老板時(shí)，我在拍馬*；
當(dāng)我的老板取悅他的老板時(shí)，他是在合作。
注：當(dāng)你想說某人愛拍馬*時(shí)，你可以藝術(shù)地說"你真善于和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)合作"。
Assassination
Assassination is the extreme form of censorship[新聞檢查]
暗殺是新聞檢查的極端形式。
注：如果某個(gè)報(bào)紙對(duì)新聞檢查不管不顧，就派人把報(bào)紙老板殺掉。
Assimilate
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile[沒用的] You Will Be Assimilated.
我們是微軟，抵抗無濟(jì)于事，你們將被消化吸收。
注：模仿微軟說話的口氣，微軟對(duì)很多小的軟件公司不是兼并，就是消滅。
Astronaut
Student:I enrolled at this college to learn how to be an astronaut.
Professor: hummm. I thought you came here to take up space.
學(xué)生：我上這所學(xué)校是來學(xué)習(xí)怎樣成為一名宇航員。
教授：我還以為你來這是占空間來了。
注：教授的意思是這個(gè)學(xué)生除了占地方外，一無是處。
When does a boxer[拳擊手] look like an astronaut?
When he sees stars.
拳擊手什么時(shí)候象宇航員？
眼冒金星時(shí)。
Auction
Firefighter: Hey, Chief! There's a 1959 pumper truck being auctioned today. Let's buy it.
Fire chief: What in the world would we do with an old, broken-down fire truck?
Firefighter: Well, we could use it for false alarms!
消防隊(duì)員：嘿，頭兒，今天有一輛1959年的消防卡車要拍賣，我們買了吧。
隊(duì)長(zhǎng)：一輛老破消防卡車有什么用？
消防隊(duì)員：誤報(bào)火警時(shí)我們用。
Autobiography
Janie: Mom, how old is our car?
Mom: About five years old, honey.
Janie: And what kind is it?
Mom: A station wagon. Why all the questions about the car?
Janie: My teacher told us to write our autobiography.
Janie：媽媽，我們家的汽車幾年了？
媽媽：大約5年里，寶貝。
JanieL：什么牌子？
媽媽：旅行車（？）為什么老問汽車？
Janie：老師要我們寫汽車傳記（自傳）。
Only when one has lost all curiosity about the future, has one reached the age to write an autobiography.
只有當(dāng)一個(gè)人完全失去了對(duì)將來的興趣，他就到了寫傳記的年齡了。
注：所以不要忙著寫傳記。
Avail
There are few sorrows, however poignant[刻骨銘心], in which a good income is of no avail.
不管多么刻骨銘心的悲傷，很少有收入增加后不減輕的。
注：如果鄰居被車撞得很重，你得了50萬賠償，你還會(huì)那么悲傷嗎？
Nicola: I've proposed to four different men without avail.
Nicholas: Next time, try wearing a veil.
Nicola：我向四個(gè)不同的男人求過婚都沒有成功。
Nicholas：下次，試著戴上面紗。
注：Without avail: 徒勞；Avail 與 a veil(面紗)
Awe
I thought I'd start things off with the "shock and awe" phase of the operation.
我認(rèn)為我們?cè)撻_始"震懾行動(dòng)"。
注：美國攻打阿富汗取名"震懾行動(dòng)"。如果不分場(chǎng)合亂用"震懾行動(dòng)"就有點(diǎn)兒好玩兒了。
Axis
Oh my God, the entire axis of boring is in there.
上帝啊，無聊中心在這兒！
注：模仿布什提出的邪惡中心: axis of vice
練習(xí)：
Abolish(3次)
1. Slavery was _______in Canada in 1833, and Canadian authorities encouraged the slaves, who escaped from America, to settle on its vast virgin land. (05/12)
A) abolished B) resigned C) diluted D) dissipated
2. Excellent films are those which＿＿＿ national and cultural barriers. (05/6)
A) transcend B) traverse C) abolish D) suppress
3. Mike just discovered that his passport had _______ three months ago. (99/6)
A) abolished B) expired C) amended D) constrained
Abrupt(2次)
1. Even sensible men do ____ things sometimes. (02/6)
A) abrupt B) absurd C) acute D) apt
2. It is ________ that women should be paid less than men for doing the same kind of work. (02/1)
A) abrupt B) absurd C) adverse D) addictive
Absorb(2次)
1. The club will ________ new members the first week in September. (02/1)
A) enroll B) subscribe C) absorb D) register
2. When trapped in drifting sands, do not struggle, or you will be ______ in deeper. (98/1)
A) absorbed B) pushed C) heaved D) sucked
答案：
Abolish: AAB
Abrupt: BB
Absorb: AD