I am a hammer. My name is Gutie. I was made by my owner， Barbara.I was a useless piece of iron and steel four days ago. “Grandpa Time” had given me old shabby yellow clothes. My face was full of bumps and hollows. They called me and my fellows slovenliness （邋遢）。 Though Mum told me that we were once [had once been] （1） very smart， nobody noticed me now.
Fortunately， this Saturday I met Barbara. I happened to be heard [hear] （2） that Barbara was a senior one student. Their teacher took them to the workshop to make a hammer by themselves. How hard！ Only five days to give me a new look. The teachers must have been crazy， mustn't [weren't] （3） they？
Poor Barbara would give up！
I was afraid to guess how ugly she would make me. Look at her hands. They were white and fat. It meant the hands belonged to a pampered （嬌養(yǎng)的） girl.
For Goodness' sake， I only wish [wished] （4） she would do as well as I expected [had expected] （5）。 But finally it didn't turn out that way. She was the most diligent and assiduous（刻苦的） girl I'd ever seen. When others were having a rest， or going out， or chatting with each other， she just held a file （銼刀）， filing me hard. While she was working， I was looking into her eyes. Though I made no sound， the sight would break anyone's heart. I looked so helpless！ And it seemed as if Barbara could understand me.
Most people think we hammers have no lives， but they are wrong. Everything in the universe has their [its] （6） own world， their [its] （7） own language and their [its] （8） own thought.
I'm not making a fuss. To save my life and make mebrighter， Barbara did all she could. She even cut her fingers sometimes. I saw her feel sad. What's more， she once even meant to stop working. But at last she did not let me down. She continued filing me smooth.
I know the job must be as dirty as dust， but it has already been finished now. And now I'm lying in Barbara's bookcase. She said to me， “Creativeness is a blessing. Cherish any beautiful memory. And let's not forget our short， happy tale.”
上海市第三女子中學(xué)高二（2）班 任宇芳
評 語
高中學(xué)生都要參加社會實(shí)踐活動，包括學(xué)工勞動。文章描寫的是一個(gè)嬌嫩而稚氣未脫的女孩被要求把一塊毛鋼在5天內(nèi)制成一把光滑的小鐵錘，想來也不是件簡單活。但在女孩幽默的筆調(diào)中，我們看到了勞動的喜悅，看到了當(dāng)今學(xué)生生活的側(cè)面。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評修改如下：
（1）此處應(yīng)該用過去完成式，表示時(shí)間先于told和noticed.
（2）這里用被動語態(tài)是錯(cuò)誤的。
（3）對must have done的反意疑問句，如果是明確表示對過去動作的推測，一般在反意問句中用did，were，was等，如：He must have gone to Shanghai yesterday，didn't he？
（4）、（5）整個(gè)故事是敘述已發(fā)生的事情，wish要用wished，expected要用had expected.
（6）、（7）、（8）everybody，everyone作主語時(shí)，相應(yīng)代詞可用his或their，但everything作主語時(shí)，相應(yīng)的代詞一般用其單數(shù)形式its.
Fortunately， this Saturday I met Barbara. I happened to be heard [hear] （2） that Barbara was a senior one student. Their teacher took them to the workshop to make a hammer by themselves. How hard！ Only five days to give me a new look. The teachers must have been crazy， mustn't [weren't] （3） they？
Poor Barbara would give up！
I was afraid to guess how ugly she would make me. Look at her hands. They were white and fat. It meant the hands belonged to a pampered （嬌養(yǎng)的） girl.
For Goodness' sake， I only wish [wished] （4） she would do as well as I expected [had expected] （5）。 But finally it didn't turn out that way. She was the most diligent and assiduous（刻苦的） girl I'd ever seen. When others were having a rest， or going out， or chatting with each other， she just held a file （銼刀）， filing me hard. While she was working， I was looking into her eyes. Though I made no sound， the sight would break anyone's heart. I looked so helpless！ And it seemed as if Barbara could understand me.
Most people think we hammers have no lives， but they are wrong. Everything in the universe has their [its] （6） own world， their [its] （7） own language and their [its] （8） own thought.
I'm not making a fuss. To save my life and make mebrighter， Barbara did all she could. She even cut her fingers sometimes. I saw her feel sad. What's more， she once even meant to stop working. But at last she did not let me down. She continued filing me smooth.
I know the job must be as dirty as dust， but it has already been finished now. And now I'm lying in Barbara's bookcase. She said to me， “Creativeness is a blessing. Cherish any beautiful memory. And let's not forget our short， happy tale.”
上海市第三女子中學(xué)高二（2）班 任宇芳
評 語
高中學(xué)生都要參加社會實(shí)踐活動，包括學(xué)工勞動。文章描寫的是一個(gè)嬌嫩而稚氣未脫的女孩被要求把一塊毛鋼在5天內(nèi)制成一把光滑的小鐵錘，想來也不是件簡單活。但在女孩幽默的筆調(diào)中，我們看到了勞動的喜悅，看到了當(dāng)今學(xué)生生活的側(cè)面。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評修改如下：
（1）此處應(yīng)該用過去完成式，表示時(shí)間先于told和noticed.
（2）這里用被動語態(tài)是錯(cuò)誤的。
（3）對must have done的反意疑問句，如果是明確表示對過去動作的推測，一般在反意問句中用did，were，was等，如：He must have gone to Shanghai yesterday，didn't he？
（4）、（5）整個(gè)故事是敘述已發(fā)生的事情，wish要用wished，expected要用had expected.
（6）、（7）、（8）everybody，everyone作主語時(shí)，相應(yīng)代詞可用his或their，但everything作主語時(shí)，相應(yīng)的代詞一般用其單數(shù)形式its.