5分范文
范文1
I agree with Ms. Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot in saying that some people "see old memories as a chance to reckon with the past and integrate past and present." Many people are so troubled by things that happened in their past that they are not able to focus on the present. For example, in the book Ceremony, by Leslie Marmon Silko, Tayo, the main character, can not concentrate on the present because he constantly hounds himself over things that happened during World War II and his troubled childhood. However, past memories can help people to succeed in the present. An historical example of people learning from the past would be the Marshall Plan. After the conclusion of World War II there were many countries around the world in need of economical assistence to help rebuild their war torn countries, and the United States would have to be the one to provide that assistence. Many American politicians thought it was foolish for the US government to spend money abroad on countries that would not be able to repay the loan for a long time. However, George Marshall, a former general and later Secretary of State under President Truman, remembered how the exact same argument of "why should we spend money on war torn nations that really owe us reparations?" had been used after World War I towards Germany. The lack of assistance towards Germany after World War I had caused a gigantic economic depression in Germany that had made the Mark (German money) virtually worthless. The German people became so desperate that they started supporting an extreme German nationalist named Adolf Hitler, who eventually started World War II. Marshall knew that if the US did not help war torn Germany and, especially, Japan, we could eventually have a World War III on our hands.
解析5的原因
This focused essay effectively develops its point of view and demonstrates strong critical thinking ("Many people are so troubled by things that happened in their past that they are not able to focus on the present. . . . However, past memories can help people to succeed in the present"). The essay uses appropriate reasoning and examples and demonstrates coherence and progression of ideas ("Many American politicians thought it was foolish for the US government to spend money abroad on countries that would not be able to repay the loan for a long time. However, George Marshall . . . remembered how the exact same argument . . . had been used after World War I towards Germany"). The essay also exhibits facility in the use of language. To earn a score of 6, the writer needs to achieve clearer coherence and smoother progression of ideas by integrating the example of Ceremony more effectively into the overall essay, perhaps through an extended comparison of Tayo's and Marshall's experiences of World War II. The essay demonstrates reasonably consistent mastery and is scored a 5.
范文2
Memories and past experiences serve as a rail, a guiding support, for people in an effort to succeed in the present. People not only learn from the past, but the very act of going through something provides experience for a person who is to "move up the ladder of success and achievement".
Some view failed experiences as a hinderance to future success. This is very untrue because history has a tendency of repeating itself, and in recognizing past failures, one can learn how to successfully approach similar situations in the future. An example of this is looking back in history to WWI. Sedition acts at this time allowed for the imprisonment of anyone who voiced an opinion against the president, or against the war. America recognized this shady time in its past, and instead of covering it up in a movement towards a more democratic nation, these acts were published in textbooks and taught to students. Americans saw the poor judgement of this situation and later with the war in Iraq, approached "patriotism" differently. With this present war, those adverse to the war are able to voice their opinions without fear of imprisonment or death. In seeing the undemocratic ways of an earlier era, America was able to recognize the bad and try to reform it. If the Sedition Acts had been forgotten then what is to say that they wouldn't come back? Remembering the failed times insures that improvement is possible.
In my personal experience, I have found that the very act of living through something not only matures me, but also provides skills and knowledge. In remembering past events, I am able to use them as reference, and sometimes assurance. A personal example, somewhat juvenile, but also effective, is when my first pet died. I was devastated and wanted to just clear my mind of the event, but I didn't. After time, I recovered, but maintained the memory of this horrible tragedy. Later in life, another pet died. I looked back to that memory as a guide and learned from it that in time I would be fine and to just hang on. In this situation, a memory served as a reference and catalyzed in my personal growth and recovery.
Memories, good or bad, assist people in obtaining success. Whether used as reference for guidance, or lessons on what not to do, past experiences can only offer a gap between the steps on the ladder of success. Forgetting the past can and will only erase experience and knowledge from a person and in affect hinder one in seeking achievement. In looking at historical repeats and personal events, it is clear that old memories can only aid in success.
解析5分的原因
This essay effectively develops its point of view ("Memories and past experiences serve as a rail, a guiding support, for people in an effort to succeed in the present") through the appropriate examples of dissent during wartime and grieving for a pet, thus demonstrating strong critical thinking. Well organized and focused, the essay demonstrates coherence and progression of ideas ("In seeing the undemocratic ways of an earlier era, America was able to recognize the bad and try to reform it. If the Sedition Acts had been forgotten then what is to say that they wouldn't come back? Remembering the failed times insures that improvement is possible"). The essay also uses appropriate vocabulary and demonstrates effective variety in sentence structure. To earn a 6, this writer needs to achieve smoother progression of ideas by using language more skillfully (the phrase "past experiences can only offer a gap between the steps on the ladder of success" seems to express the opposite of what the writer intends). The essay demonstrates reasonably consistent mastery and receives a 5.
范文1
I agree with Ms. Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot in saying that some people "see old memories as a chance to reckon with the past and integrate past and present." Many people are so troubled by things that happened in their past that they are not able to focus on the present. For example, in the book Ceremony, by Leslie Marmon Silko, Tayo, the main character, can not concentrate on the present because he constantly hounds himself over things that happened during World War II and his troubled childhood. However, past memories can help people to succeed in the present. An historical example of people learning from the past would be the Marshall Plan. After the conclusion of World War II there were many countries around the world in need of economical assistence to help rebuild their war torn countries, and the United States would have to be the one to provide that assistence. Many American politicians thought it was foolish for the US government to spend money abroad on countries that would not be able to repay the loan for a long time. However, George Marshall, a former general and later Secretary of State under President Truman, remembered how the exact same argument of "why should we spend money on war torn nations that really owe us reparations?" had been used after World War I towards Germany. The lack of assistance towards Germany after World War I had caused a gigantic economic depression in Germany that had made the Mark (German money) virtually worthless. The German people became so desperate that they started supporting an extreme German nationalist named Adolf Hitler, who eventually started World War II. Marshall knew that if the US did not help war torn Germany and, especially, Japan, we could eventually have a World War III on our hands.
解析5的原因
This focused essay effectively develops its point of view and demonstrates strong critical thinking ("Many people are so troubled by things that happened in their past that they are not able to focus on the present. . . . However, past memories can help people to succeed in the present"). The essay uses appropriate reasoning and examples and demonstrates coherence and progression of ideas ("Many American politicians thought it was foolish for the US government to spend money abroad on countries that would not be able to repay the loan for a long time. However, George Marshall . . . remembered how the exact same argument . . . had been used after World War I towards Germany"). The essay also exhibits facility in the use of language. To earn a score of 6, the writer needs to achieve clearer coherence and smoother progression of ideas by integrating the example of Ceremony more effectively into the overall essay, perhaps through an extended comparison of Tayo's and Marshall's experiences of World War II. The essay demonstrates reasonably consistent mastery and is scored a 5.
范文2
Memories and past experiences serve as a rail, a guiding support, for people in an effort to succeed in the present. People not only learn from the past, but the very act of going through something provides experience for a person who is to "move up the ladder of success and achievement".
Some view failed experiences as a hinderance to future success. This is very untrue because history has a tendency of repeating itself, and in recognizing past failures, one can learn how to successfully approach similar situations in the future. An example of this is looking back in history to WWI. Sedition acts at this time allowed for the imprisonment of anyone who voiced an opinion against the president, or against the war. America recognized this shady time in its past, and instead of covering it up in a movement towards a more democratic nation, these acts were published in textbooks and taught to students. Americans saw the poor judgement of this situation and later with the war in Iraq, approached "patriotism" differently. With this present war, those adverse to the war are able to voice their opinions without fear of imprisonment or death. In seeing the undemocratic ways of an earlier era, America was able to recognize the bad and try to reform it. If the Sedition Acts had been forgotten then what is to say that they wouldn't come back? Remembering the failed times insures that improvement is possible.
In my personal experience, I have found that the very act of living through something not only matures me, but also provides skills and knowledge. In remembering past events, I am able to use them as reference, and sometimes assurance. A personal example, somewhat juvenile, but also effective, is when my first pet died. I was devastated and wanted to just clear my mind of the event, but I didn't. After time, I recovered, but maintained the memory of this horrible tragedy. Later in life, another pet died. I looked back to that memory as a guide and learned from it that in time I would be fine and to just hang on. In this situation, a memory served as a reference and catalyzed in my personal growth and recovery.
Memories, good or bad, assist people in obtaining success. Whether used as reference for guidance, or lessons on what not to do, past experiences can only offer a gap between the steps on the ladder of success. Forgetting the past can and will only erase experience and knowledge from a person and in affect hinder one in seeking achievement. In looking at historical repeats and personal events, it is clear that old memories can only aid in success.
解析5分的原因
This essay effectively develops its point of view ("Memories and past experiences serve as a rail, a guiding support, for people in an effort to succeed in the present") through the appropriate examples of dissent during wartime and grieving for a pet, thus demonstrating strong critical thinking. Well organized and focused, the essay demonstrates coherence and progression of ideas ("In seeing the undemocratic ways of an earlier era, America was able to recognize the bad and try to reform it. If the Sedition Acts had been forgotten then what is to say that they wouldn't come back? Remembering the failed times insures that improvement is possible"). The essay also uses appropriate vocabulary and demonstrates effective variety in sentence structure. To earn a 6, this writer needs to achieve smoother progression of ideas by using language more skillfully (the phrase "past experiences can only offer a gap between the steps on the ladder of success" seems to express the opposite of what the writer intends). The essay demonstrates reasonably consistent mastery and receives a 5.