Meeting and Greeting People In Public Places
Introduction Special Occasions
Invitation With Strangers and Friends
In the Home Personal Habits and Appearance
Table Manners Some Points for Men
In School 西方禮儀
Some Common Manners in the West
It is a great help for the person who is learning a foreign language to know some customs and manners for the people who speaks it, because the language is very closely associated with them. I will tell you some common western manners.
1. Meeting and Greeting People
1) Greeting
The simplest thing to say is "Good morning," "Good afternoon'" or "good evening." This greeting is given to one whom you know only slightly, or to any one you are passing quickly. "How are you" is usually used when you are not in such a hurry. No answer is expected other than " Fine, thank you." "hello' is the commonest form of greeting between good friends.
2) When a Man Raises His Hat
If you are wearing a hat which can be taken bold of easily, it is customary to raise it slightly off your head when you greet a girl or a woman.
3) When to Shake Hands
It is customary to shake hands when you first meet someone. And usually friends shake hands when they meet after not having seen each other for some time. However it is not necessary to shake hands.
4) Use the person's Name
It is always good form to use the name of the person you are greeting. You might say, "Good Morning, Mr. Moncrieff" or " Hello, Franklin.," A person's surname should be used unless he is good friend or school-mate.
2. Introduction
1) How to Introduce People
In introducing two people, the general rule is: Introduce other people to the person you wish to honor. The old are honored in the West as in China. Women have been honoured in the West since the days of knighthood(騎士時(shí)代）.
2) Rising at Introduction
A man always rise for an introduction, except that it is sometimes all right for an elderly man to remain seated when a young man is introduced to him. The hostess always rises for an introduction.
3) Introducing Yourself
If you want to meet someone, it is better to ask a friend who know him to introduce you. But sometimes at a meeting or gathering it is all right to introduce yourself to a fellow-student, or to one of the same sex and position.
3. Invitation
1) You Must Reply to an Invitation
Foreign custom is much more strict than Chinese custom in the matter of replying to invitations. When you receive an invitation you should answer it immediately, saying definitely whether you are able to accept it or not.
2) Written or Verbal Reply
If the invitation is given by word of mouth, in conversation or at a chance meeting, you should answer at once whether you can come or not. If you cannot give an answer at that time, you may say, "May I let you know this evening?" Or some such words.
4. In the Home
1) The Right Time to Arrive
When invited to luncheon, dinner, or supper, it is very impolite to arrive late, as it is usually planned to have the meal at the exact hour given in the invitation.
2) In arrival
When you arrive, the hostess or some member of the family will probably meet you at the door and take your coat and hat. In the winter time you should dress more lightly than usually, as you may expect the rooms to be warmer than in most Chinese homes.
3) In a few minutes the hostess will ask her guests to come in to dinner. She may or may not ask each gentleman to take a lady in. If she does, the lady will take the gentleman's arm as they walk into the dinning room. If she does not, the ladies will go in first, followed by the gentlemen. The hostess will either point out their seats to the guests as they come in or have a place card at each place with the guests name on it.
4) How Long to Stay
After the meal is over it is not polite to leave for at least half an hour, lest you seem to have come only for the meal. An evening dinner invitation usually implies that you stay for the whole evening. The hostess often plans some after-dinner entertainment.
5) What to Say on Leaving
When leaving any kind of a party, a guest always expresses his appreciation to the hostess. Some such words as these are appropriate. "Thank you so much. I've had a delight evening."
5. Table Manners
1) As soon as the hostess picks up her napkin(餐巾）, pick yours up and lay it on your lap. Sometimes a roll of bread is wrapped in it; if so, toke it our and put it on your side plate.
2) The Soup Course
Dinner usually begins with soup. The largest spoon at your place is the soup spoon. It will be beside your plate at the right-hand side.
3) The Fish Course
If there is a fish course, it will probably follow the soup. There may be a special fork for the fish, or it may be similar to the meat fork. Often it is smaller.
4) The Meat Course
The main Course is usually served by the host himself, especially if it is a fowl(雞禽） or a roast which need to be carved. He will often ask each guest what piece he prefers, and it is quite proper to state your preference as to lean or fat, dark（紅肉） or light（白肉）.
5) Using Knife and Fork
If you have English and American friends you will notice a few differences in their customs of eating. For the main or meat curse, the English keep the fork in the left hand, point curved downward, and bring the food to the mouth either by sticking the points onto it or in the case of soft vegetables, by placing it firmly on the fork in this position with the knife. Americans carve the meat in the same position, then lay down the knife and taking the fork in the right hand with the point turned up, push it under a small piece of food without the help of the knife and bring it to the moth right-side-up.
6) Helping Yourself and Refusing
If a servant passes food around, he will pass the dish in at your left hand so that you can conveniently serve yourself with your right hand. Never serve yourself while the dish is on your right; it is then the turn of your neighbor on the right. It is polite to take some of everything that is passed to you. But if there is something you may not like, you may quietly say: "No thank you."
7) Second Helpings
The hostess may or may not ask if you would like a second helping, according to the formality of the meal. If she does and you accept it, you should pass your plate to her or to the servant with the knife and fork still lying on it.
8) The Salad Course
A salad is eaten with a fork only held in the right hand with points turned up. There is usually a special one for the salad, a little smaller than the meat fork.
9) Bread and Butter
Bread is taken in the fingers and laid on the side plate or the edge of the large plate, it is never take with a fork. Butter is taken from the butter dish with the butter knife and placed on the side plate, not on one's bread.
10) Other Things on the Table
When there are things on the middle of the table, such as bread, butter, jelly, pickles, nits, candies, you should not take any until the hostess ahs suggested that they be passed.
11) Leaving the Table
It is impolite for a guest to leave the table during a meal, or before the hostess gives the signal at the end. When the hostess indicates that the dinner is over, she will stat to rise from her seat and all the guests she rise from theirs at the same time.
12) Various rules and Suggestions
Sit up straight on your chair; Do not put much food in your mouth at a time; Drink only when there is no food in your mouth; Try not to get into your mouth anything that will have to be taken out; Do not make any nose when you eat; Do not clean your teeth at the table or anywhere in public, either with your finger or a tooth pick(牙簽）, not even with you tongue.
6. In School
1)Greeting the Teacher
If you are in a very large class, it may not be necessary to greet the teacher on arriving, but it is always quite proper if you happen to catch the teacher's eye as you enter.
2) Coming Late
It is bad manners to come late to class. If you are unavoidably late an apology should be made to the teacher either at the time or after class.
3) Talking in Class
It if bad manners in the schoolroom, as elsewhere, to talk while anyone else is taking.
7. In Public Places
1) Traffic Laws
The coming of the motor car made definite traffic law and regulations a practical necessity. To obey these law is not so much a matter of curtsey(禮貌） as a moral obligation（義務(wù)）.
2) For People Walking
People walking should keep to the sidewalks and should keep to the right of the sidewalk.
3) The Theater
The theater proper is more formal than the movies. At the theater best clothes are in order; evening clothes are often worn.
4) The Movies
The movies are more informal. Any kind of respectable clothes may be worn, and small confection(糖果） may be eaten quietly as long as there are no objectionable noses to annoy one's neighbors.
5) In Church
It is usual for anyone attending church to take some money along for the offering, as it is a regular part of every church service and is used for the work of the church. Good clothes, but never evening clothes, are worn to a church service.
8. Special Occasions
1) Birthday
Birthday in the West, as in China, are considered occasions for congratulations and sometimes for gifts from near friends.
2)The Wedding
If one receives an announcement of a wedding after it is over, a note of congratulation may be sent, but a gift is not necessary.
3) The Funeral
Funerals, of course, are always sand, but the tendency in Western countries is against making any show of one's feelings at the funeral. The idea behind this is that the person dead would wish this last meeting of his friends in his honor and remembrance to be full of tender, happy recollections of his life.
9. With Strangers and Friends
1) Lending and borrowing are more matters of principle in the West than in the East. Things borrowed in the West are definitely expected to be returned, whether it is fifty dollars or merely a friend's pencil.
2) Don't Be Curious
It is impolite to be curious about the private affairs of others, such as age, salary, religion and marriage.
3) Thanks for Gifts
When some one gives you a present, it is very impolite to neglect thank him for it.
4) One Hand Only
In china we use two hands when giving something to a person, or when receiving it, if we want to be very polite. In the West this would seem awkward and impolite.
10. Personal Habits and Appearance
1) People judge you at first by what they see, so particular attention should be paid to your personal appearance.
2) Using a Handkerchief
Always carry a clean handkerchief. Do not use it while it is folded, and do not fold it after you use it.
3)Spitting
In the West it is considered very impolite to spit, even upon the street.
4) Smoking
Smoking is very prevalent(普遍), both by men and by women. If you are a guest in a home where no others are smoking, it is better to refrain(忍?。?from smoking, you may say, "Would you mind if I smoked?".
11. Some Points for Men
1) With a Lady
Always allow the lady to precede you in places where one has to go before the other except in the following case: when getting off a street car, train, bus, or out of an automobile; when going up stair; when opening a heavy door. When you are walking along the street with a lady, always walk on the outside.
2) At a Dance
If you wish to dance with a certain lady, go to her, bow, and say:" May I have the pleasure of a dance?"
Selected from Western Manners by Earl and Katharine Willmontt and translated by Wan Rongfang
西方禮儀
為什么打招呼？
在歐美國(guó)家見(jiàn)面打招呼是很自然的，即使是不認(rèn)識(shí)。打招呼的目的，并不是為了要跟你有進(jìn)一步的交往，只是一種生活禮儀形式。其實(shí)不論任何人，面對(duì)有人微笑打招呼，都會(huì)受到感染，像是見(jiàn)到陽(yáng)光心情跟著好起來(lái)一樣，很自然會(huì)打招呼響應(yīng)。因此，在西方國(guó)家旅游的時(shí)候，如果迎面而來(lái)的人對(duì)我們說(shuō)哈啰，別露出一副莫名其妙的表情，甚至置之不理唷！那可是非常失禮的。
怎樣打招呼？
對(duì)方跟你說(shuō)「How do you do ?」就是「你好」的意思，不用按著課本教的說(shuō)「Fine, Thank you. And you?」，除非這是你的好朋友，或是你有比較多的時(shí)間跟他聊天，不然只要同樣回答說(shuō)「How do you do ?」就夠了。如果怕自己英文不好聽(tīng)，至少微笑點(diǎn)個(gè)頭。有時(shí)候他們會(huì)說(shuō)「Hello !」，其實(shí)相當(dāng)于我們的「嗨」，這是同輩或好友之間的應(yīng)對(duì)方式，不適合用在對(duì)長(zhǎng)輩或地位比較高的人。另外，他們也會(huì)問(wèn)候「Good morning」，「Good afternoon」或「Good evening」，同樣問(wèn)候就可以了。
怎樣吃飯？
中國(guó)人吃飯比較隨興，很可能聊到開(kāi)心處，就大聲說(shuō)笑，或是把餐廳當(dāng)作自己家一樣讓小孩子跑來(lái)跑去，這在西方國(guó)家是相當(dāng)不得體的喔！尤其如果我們是吃西式餐廳，而不是在中國(guó)餐廳，一定要注意餐桌禮節(jié)。餐巾應(yīng)該要鋪放在腿上，不是別在領(lǐng)口上的，更不可以拿餐巾來(lái)擦桌子或餐具！使用刀叉的時(shí)候，倒沒(méi)有禁忌不可以拿著叉子講話，因?yàn)樵谕鈬?guó)，放下餐具表示你已經(jīng)吃完，準(zhǔn)備請(qǐng)服務(wù)生來(lái)收走了。當(dāng)然啦，如果要比手畫(huà)腳的時(shí)候例外，畢竟拿著刀叉揮舞還是挺不安全的！
享用食物的時(shí)候安靜是基本的禮貌，像是喝湯、嚼食物都不應(yīng)該出聲音，打嗝的聲音尤其會(huì)惹人白眼，萬(wàn)一打嗝發(fā)出了聲音，應(yīng)該對(duì)同桌的人說(shuō)「Excuse me」表示歉意。千萬(wàn)不要塞得滿嘴的食物，慢慢一口一口吃。發(fā)表意見(jiàn)時(shí)，應(yīng)該等食物完全吞下去之后再講話，不可以一邊嚼一邊講話。如果有魚(yú)刺或骨頭，應(yīng)該盡量先用刀叉挑出來(lái)或切除掉，再放到嘴里面，不適合嚼一嚼之后再用嘴巴吐出來(lái)，假如不得已必須要這樣做，也好悄悄地、稍微用餐巾布遮掩一下比較好喔。
零零總總談了一些基本西方禮儀，其實(shí)基本的還是爸媽平時(shí)生活教養(yǎng)的功夫。如果常常提醒孩子遵守禮貌規(guī)矩，讓孩子懂得規(guī)范自己、尊重別人，相信在國(guó)外旅游的時(shí)候，也能很快就適應(yīng)不同的禮節(jié)了！
中國(guó)自古就是禮儀之邦，西方的禮儀和我國(guó)有許多的相似之處。在當(dāng)前國(guó)際交往頻繁的形式下，不論是在國(guó)內(nèi)接待外賓或出國(guó)訪問(wèn)旅游，不論是將要留學(xué)國(guó)外或常駐國(guó)外工作都有必要學(xué)習(xí)一下西方的禮儀。
禮節(jié)有兩個(gè)方面：其一要從內(nèi)心去關(guān)心他人的需要和情感；其二要以一定的行為方式表現(xiàn)出來(lái)，由此人們通?？梢耘袛辔覀兗彝ソ甜B(yǎng)的狀況。禮節(jié)的實(shí)質(zhì)就是處處為別人著想，這也就是要實(shí)行那條金箋：你想別人怎樣對(duì)待你，你就該怎樣對(duì)待別人。所謂考慮他人的要點(diǎn)就是要使自己的衣著和舉止盡可能讓人喜歡。一看到衣著雅致、彬彬有禮的人，你就會(huì)覺(jué)得日常生活增添了許多樂(lè)趣。相反，看到的是衣著不整，禮節(jié)不周的人，你就會(huì)有明顯的缺少什幺以及不舒服和煩惱的感覺(jué)。
中國(guó)的禮節(jié)與西方的禮節(jié)有時(shí)差別很大。如果你想同西方人相處和諧，了解西方的禮節(jié)是非常重要的。
簡(jiǎn)單的問(wèn)候是說(shuō)一聲"早上好"、"下午好"，或"晚上好"。這種問(wèn)候可以用于你不太熟悉的人或者任何與你匆匆擦肩而過(guò)的人。
若你不很匆忙時(shí)，對(duì)不認(rèn)識(shí)的人可說(shuō)一聲"你好"，回答你的也應(yīng)該是"你好"。
當(dāng)你第與別人見(jiàn)面時(shí)，通常要握手。此外，久違的朋友相見(jiàn)時(shí)，通常也要握手。然而，相遇時(shí)不握手也行,微微鞠一個(gè)躬,也是很有禮貌的。
如果誰(shuí)要和你握手，你當(dāng)然要同他握手--拒絕握手是非常不禮貌的。通常是由年齡大的一方或者女子先伸出手。
你在向別人問(wèn)好時(shí)，直呼別人的姓名也常常是得體的。你可以說(shuō)；"早上好，蒙克里夫先生"或"你好，富蘭克林"。
有些問(wèn)候在中國(guó)是合乎禮節(jié)的，而在西方卻不被采用。如果你問(wèn)候一個(gè)西方人說(shuō)"你上哪兒去?"（Where are you going?）或說(shuō)"你去哪兒啦？"（Where have you been?）他會(huì)想你在打聽(tīng)他的私事，實(shí)在是太失禮了。
而如果你說(shuō)："你吃過(guò)了嗎？"（Have you had your dinner?），他可能會(huì)認(rèn)為你想邀請(qǐng)他與你共同進(jìn)餐。因此，和西方人相處時(shí)，你好使用西方通常的問(wèn)候方式。
當(dāng)你受到邀請(qǐng)時(shí)，你必須立即作復(fù)，明確地說(shuō)明你究竟能不能接受這次邀請(qǐng)。如果對(duì)方是在談話中或偶然遇見(jiàn)時(shí)口頭提出邀請(qǐng)的，你就應(yīng)該立刻回答能不能去。如果當(dāng)時(shí)不能回答，你可以說(shuō)?quot;我今晚告訴你，行嗎？"或諸如此類(lèi)的話。但不管是口頭邀請(qǐng)還是書(shū)面邀請(qǐng)，都應(yīng)當(dāng)給予明確的回答。
通常來(lái)說(shuō)，表示你的確不能接受邀請(qǐng)的客氣的辦法是說(shuō)出你不能不謝絕的理由。只是說(shuō)一聲"我不能去"或"我不去"是不禮貌的。說(shuō)一聲"對(duì)不起"也是不夠的。只說(shuō)一聲"謝謝"，那就只能使人莫名其妙，不知你到底是接受邀請(qǐng)，還是謝絕邀請(qǐng)。
如果你接受了邀請(qǐng)，忽然有事不能赴約。你應(yīng)當(dāng)把你不能前往的真實(shí)原因告訴對(duì)方，接受了邀請(qǐng)而又不赴約是一件極不禮貌的事情。
在經(jīng)歷了飲食習(xí)慣的歷史沿革之后，當(dāng)我們都圍坐在鋪著雪白桌布、擺著锃亮刀叉的餐桌旁時(shí)，吃飯已經(jīng)從只為了充饑的需求而發(fā)展成為一種令人愉快在復(fù)雜的社會(huì)習(xí)俗。今天，在你應(yīng)邀赴宴的時(shí)候，你對(duì)同桌進(jìn)餐的人和餐桌上的談話，大概比對(duì)飲食要更感興趣。實(shí)際進(jìn)餐時(shí)，應(yīng)該盡可能少一些聲響，少一些動(dòng)作。
女主人一拿起餐巾時(shí)，你也就可以拿起你的餐巾，放在腿上。有時(shí)餐巾中包有一只小面包；如果是 那樣的話, 就把它取出，放在旁邊的小碟上。
在西方，汽車(chē)有優(yōu)先通行權(quán)。幾個(gè)人肩并肩地排成一行走是不禮貌的。因?yàn)槟菢訒?huì)妨礙別人行走或耽擱別人的時(shí)間。
西方店鋪，除極少數(shù)外，都對(duì)商品明碼標(biāo)價(jià)，沒(méi)有討價(jià)還價(jià)的習(xí)慣。店員們都很客氣，盡力為顧客找到滿意的商品。顧客也必須很客氣，如果看了好幾件物品以后，一件都不想買(mǎi)，顧客可以說(shuō): "恐怕這些都不是我所需要的，麻煩你了，多謝。"
"謝謝你"（Thank you）這名話在西方比在中國(guó)用得要更加頻繁得多。任何人替你做了一些事，不管事情多小，也不管他是你的上司還是傭人，你都應(yīng)該說(shuō)："謝謝你"。
你講話完畢以后，千萬(wàn)不要向聽(tīng)眾致謝。不要說(shuō)："謝謝你們"，"我謝謝你們"，或"多謝你們注意聽(tīng)我講話"等。講話完畢時(shí)，略微欠欠身就夠了，不必要多講什幺。
當(dāng)你給別人傳遞點(diǎn)東西或替人做些小事情而別人謝你時(shí)，你不必說(shuō)什幺，只須笑一笑或點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭就夠了。
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