托福寫作越來越重要，寫作一直是考生感覺比較難的部分，那么具體的如何來寫呢?下面托福頻道整理了寫作突破的27分大關(guān)詳細(xì)的內(nèi)容，供大家參考使用，希望給大家?guī)韼椭?BR>
去模版化是一切高分作文的基石
其實(shí)，很多同學(xué)的語(yǔ)言基礎(chǔ)不錯(cuò)，但因?yàn)橛懬苫蛘邔?duì)于托福獨(dú)立寫作的認(rèn)識(shí)不夠，采用了固定化的模版結(jié)構(gòu)和模版句式去寫作文，從短期來看，這不能幫你突破22-23分的獨(dú)立寫作，拿到高分;從長(zhǎng)期來看，對(duì)于寫作能力的提升更是百害無一利，試問如何套用模版去寫大學(xué)教授布置的paper呢?
當(dāng)然，為了讓大家更直觀的了解什么是模版化的思路和語(yǔ)言，我會(huì)讓大家看一篇文章的節(jié)選，凡是我加粗的部分，就是模版化的語(yǔ)言和結(jié)構(gòu)。
開頭段
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Government should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In a society that changes as amazingly as ours, people are under more and more pressure due to the increasingly pontential of competation. Consequently, the general public as well as sociologists begin to wonder whether which is the best way for the government to release the tensive state of people between supporting the development of arts and supporting athletics. Towards such a long-running tug-of-war, I am inclined to argue that government should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics.
上面是開頭段，想必很多同學(xué)會(huì)有類似的模版，其實(shí)，模版能夠幫助我們快速作文，但是大家會(huì)否有感覺，這樣的模版句式是否套用到每個(gè)題目中都是合適的呢?畢竟“社會(huì)飛速發(fā)展”，“普通大眾和社會(huì)學(xué)家開始思考”“激烈的爭(zhēng)奪中”，在很多題目中會(huì)出現(xiàn)和題意水土不服的癥狀，寫出來就會(huì)有邏輯不通，前后語(yǔ)言不連貫的問題。
分論點(diǎn)
01
Indeed, there are certain merits contained in the plausible statement that supporting athletics do have some advantages. To begin with, it is imperative to pinpoint that spending more money on supporting athletics can improve the whole level of the athletics since they can buy more equipments for training, thus
我相信更多的同學(xué)都很熟悉這種寫法，這叫做讓步段，很多童鞋在寫作中，由于按照這樣的模版寫作，就不得不每篇文章都是先一個(gè)讓步段，然后兩個(gè)觀點(diǎn)段。但是，讓步段出現(xiàn)在這個(gè)位置真的合理嗎?真的適合每一個(gè)題目嗎?
我們都知道托福獨(dú)立寫作不僅是議論文，更是考試作文，在有限的時(shí)間內(nèi)寫作，需要的是觀點(diǎn)明確且直接，讓步段放在第一個(gè)論證段落就很有可能讓考官暈掉，不明白我們的觀點(diǎn)到底是什么。明明寫同意，卻上來說對(duì)方很有道理，還一整段都在說對(duì)方好。
分論點(diǎn)
02
However, it is, as far as practical experience and significance are concerned, more preferable to advocate that funding arts can improve the ability of appreciation of all the people. Prmarily, we can
這個(gè)童鞋終于開始說明政府支持藝術(shù)的第一個(gè)理由了，可是，注意，however這個(gè)標(biāo)粗+波浪線的句子并不是理由，理由在that后面，那么，童鞋們請(qǐng)注意，獨(dú)立寫作需要用有限的字?jǐn)?shù)表達(dá)更多有價(jià)值的信息，這個(gè)模版毫無疑義，所以請(qǐng)直接寫“First，F(xiàn)unding arts can”
分論點(diǎn)
03
Simultaneously, the other persuasive justification is, in and of itself, self-evident. Supporting arts more can lead to the fashion of art, thus enhancing the creativity of people since people will have more creative thoughts after appreciating art piecies.
矯情，同樣刪去，直接寫理由二就好?！癝econd，supporting arts more can”或許會(huì)有同學(xué)說，這不是為了湊字嗎?句型還挺美的。沒錯(cuò)，句型是挺美，但是這是無效信息，既不是分論點(diǎn)，也不是解釋，更不是例子，無效信息必須干掉。
銘叔點(diǎn)評(píng)
該名同學(xué)基本功很好，但是由于過于依賴固定化的模版句式和思路去寫，缺乏對(duì)于題目本身的思路分析，導(dǎo)致其始終無法突破22分。
通過教學(xué)，這名學(xué)生放棄了模版式的語(yǔ)言，放棄了先寫讓步再寫理由的僵化的模版思路，采用總分總的寫法，根據(jù)題目的不同，訓(xùn)練思路分析的能力并進(jìn)行大量的頭腦風(fēng)暴，對(duì)于幫助她從22分突破到27分，奠定了很好的基礎(chǔ)。
以下是該學(xué)生放棄模版后的寫作效果，請(qǐng)大家品鑒。(為保證真實(shí)性，提供的是寫作初稿)
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Young people should try different jobs before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term.
In such a society that has already been overwhelmed by more and more chioces(choices) of majors for students, people started thinking (whether)the essence of education should be dabbling in one major deeply or knowing a lot widely. Though majoring in one region do bring people some advantages such as making people own incompetable(incomparable) knowlegde(knowledge), I still believe that it is more profitable for students to study more widely for having more predominances in the academic learning, the social connection, and the future job.
To begin with, it is a common sense that the interaction and interconnection between different subjects can not be eliminated. In this case, studying one major might bring benefits for learning another subject. Take myself, a student who is taking U.S. history course in advanced placement as an example: when I was in grade ten, I tried my best to recite the crucial time, cause, and effect of historical events and spent nearly three hours a day to prepare for the AP exam in May; yet, what is unfortunate is that I was not able to understand many academic terms in the economic regions such as mechanism, thus negatively influencing my understanding of some events and even caused misunderstandings and misconceptions. As a result, I only got three out of five in the AP test. However, I found it was obviously easier for me to study this course in grade eleven since I have already finished studying microeconomics in grade ten, thus saving plenty of time for me to study in the U.S. history while clarifying all kinds of terms, definitions, and significances without a hitch. Eventually, I got five points in the AP U.S. history exam when I was in grade eleven.
(卻少了總結(jié)性的內(nèi)容，畢竟ap的例子講完，這到底和分論點(diǎn)有什么關(guān)系呢，還是要總結(jié)一下)
Secondly, there will be more likelihood for students to get along well and make more friends with others after taking different curricula. As the saying goes, “birds of the same feather flock together”, students would be able to have more topics to talk with others and make more friends if the students were learning widely. As a high school student, I cannot deny that the help and suggestions given by my friends are definitely helpful and indispensable. Once I was preparing for the presentation for my physics class in library and confused about how to explain Schrodinger’s Cat to my classmates, one of the students in the library suddenly passes by my seat and then went back. He asked me whether I was depicting the Schrodinger’s Cat by powerpoint. After communicating with Jack, the student who is majoring in theoretical physics, I suddenly got new pattern of presenting and new perspectives in physics, and later made friends with Jack. He offered me with many valuale (valuable) advice and help me deal with bugs, thus making my presentation perfect. As a result, I got full points in the presentation of physics class though it is nearly impossible for a student majoring in history to get such high scores in the core curriculum.
Last but not least, having various experiences is able to give students a better shot to find a optimal job in the future. To be specific, future employers will value the distinctive experience. Take my cousins as examples: my cousin John, a student graduated from Chicago University and double majored history and law, has learned and is able to speak appropriately in Chinese, English, French, Spanish, and German. In the pass(past) few months, he successfully found a job in one of the law offices in New York city with high salary and less work time due to the tremendous benefits he brought by his laguage (language) talent; however, my cousin Alice was only gifted in studying Chemistry and she gave up studying other subjects because of her disclination (disinclination). Yet, she has troubles in finding a desired job since there are too many students majored in Chemistry competing for the limited jobs. While Alice is still worrying about her tight budget and unfound job, John has already bought a BMW car for his father as gift by the salary he saved and he is planning to buy an appartment (apartment) in Manhattan near his work place without the help of his parents. It is obvious that students with more calibers can win success in the society with all kinds of competition.
All in all, despte (despite) that fact that immersing in one major do have some advantages, I prefer having valuable experiences in different regions, thus having a better chance to win success in not only the academics but also the job market.