你的上司或同事是否經(jīng)常大喊大叫?如果你不幸遇到了這樣的上司或同事，你會(huì)如何應(yīng)對(duì)呢?還是一頭霧水嗎?快來(lái)看看專家給出的幾個(gè)值得一試的小妙招吧!
1. Say nothing.
1. 保持沉默。
"Sitting there with a poker face or a quizzicalexpression, in absolute silence, is sometimes a good way to communicate that what someone just said -- or, in this case, how loudly he said it -- is offensive to you," Cohen notes. Wait until he runs out of steam and stops shouting before you continue the discussion.
科恩表示：“一言不發(fā)地坐在那里，臉上面無(wú)表情，或者帶著揶揄的表情，是一種很好的方式，可以表達(dá)出某人所說(shuō)的話或者大聲叫喊的說(shuō)話方式令你感到厭惡?！钡鹊剿潇o下來(lái)，不再叫喊的時(shí)候，再繼續(xù)你們的討論。
2. Calmly explain why his yelling bothers you.
2. 平靜地解釋他的叫喊為什么令你煩惱。
If you feel you have to speak, you could say something like, "When someone yells at me like this, it's very hard for me to concentrate. I feel as if we're really not communicating." There's an outside chance that pointing out the problem will embarrass him into lowering his voice, but even if not, having expressed what you're thinking will make you feel less like a deer in his headlights.
如果你感覺(jué)自己不得不說(shuō)出來(lái)，可以這樣表達(dá)：“每當(dāng)有人對(duì)我大聲叫喊的時(shí)候，我就很難集中精力。我感覺(jué)我們并不是在溝通?！敝赋鰡?wèn)題令你的上司感到尷尬，從而迫使他降低音量的可能性不大，但即便如此，表達(dá)出自己的想法，可以讓你不會(huì)再像以前那樣手足無(wú)措。
3. Talk very softly.
3. 輕聲說(shuō)話。
An approach that Cohen has often seen work is to "talk in a very soft voice, slowly," he says. "Make him listen to you, even to the point where he asks you to speak a little louder." This can be effective for two reasons. First, it distracts the yeller from whatever is stressing him out and shifts his attention to the content of the discussion, where it belongs; and, second, the glaringcontrast between your voice and his might cause him to talk to you more quietly.
科恩發(fā)現(xiàn)非常有效的一種方式是，“用非常輕柔緩慢的聲音說(shuō)話。讓他聽你說(shuō)，甚至在關(guān)鍵內(nèi)容上，他會(huì)要求你提高音量?！边@種方法之所以有效，有兩個(gè)原因。首先，可以分散對(duì)方對(duì)壓力的關(guān)注，使他將注意力轉(zhuǎn)移到真正需要關(guān)注的地方，也就是你們正在討論的內(nèi)容;其次，雙方聲音之間的強(qiáng)烈對(duì)比也會(huì)讓他降低音量跟你說(shuō)話。
4. Restate what he's yelling about.
4. 重新敘述對(duì)方大聲叫喊的內(nèi)容。
Sometimes yellers calm down when it's clear you've understood the point they're trying to make, Cohen says. So try repeating back to him what he just shouted, but in your own words: "If I understand you correctly, you're saying we need to…." "If you can get past your gutreaction to being yelled at and listen to the substanceof what your boss is saying, he may be revealing important information," Cohen notes. If so, showing that you've heard it might help reduce the volume.
科恩表示，當(dāng)你理解了對(duì)方試圖表達(dá)的觀點(diǎn)時(shí)，他們往往能平靜下來(lái)，停止叫喊。所以，嘗試用自己的語(yǔ)言重新敘述對(duì)方叫喊的內(nèi)容：“如果我沒(méi)理解錯(cuò)的話，你的意思是說(shuō)我們需要……”當(dāng)上司對(duì)你叫喊時(shí)，如果你能控制住自己的本能反應(yīng)，用心傾聽他要表達(dá)的實(shí)質(zhì)內(nèi)容，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)，他可能正在表達(dá)重要的信息。如果是這樣的話，表明自己理解了對(duì)方的真實(shí)意圖，或許就能讓對(duì)方偃旗息鼓。
5. Prepare a solution ahead of time.
5. 提前準(zhǔn)備解決方案。
If you know in advance that something has happened that's likely to set him off, "don't go into a meeting unprepared. Come up with some ideas about how to address whatever the issue is -- ideally, some creative, surprising ones," says Cohen. "A surprise often throws a yeller off-kilterand makes him stop and consider an approach that may not have occurred to him." Again, when you present these, speak softly. After a while, he may take the hint.
科恩表示，如果你提前就知道，發(fā)生了某件事情會(huì)讓上司怒火中燒，“那就不要毫無(wú)準(zhǔn)備地走進(jìn)會(huì)議室。提前想出一些可以解決問(wèn)題的方案——是有創(chuàng)意的、出人意料的方案。意料之外的解決方案能讓怒吼的人冷靜下來(lái)，停止咆哮，開始考慮這個(gè)自己沒(méi)有想到的方法?！碑?dāng)然，在提出這些方案的時(shí)候要輕聲細(xì)語(yǔ)。不久，他就能領(lǐng)會(huì)到你的意圖。
All that said, Cohen wonders if maybe, when you've been in this job for longer than two months, you'll become as blas about the noise as your more seasoned colleague is. "If you know this is just the way this person reacts to stress, and it doesn't mean anything, why let it bother you?" he says. "Remind yourself that losing control and shouting at people detractsfrom his professional credibility, not yours." True.
總而言之，或許等你在這個(gè)崗位工作超過(guò)兩個(gè)月之后，你也會(huì)像那位同事一樣，對(duì)上司的怒吼無(wú)動(dòng)于衷?？贫髡f(shuō)：“如果你知道這只是上司應(yīng)對(duì)壓力的一種方式，沒(méi)什么大不了的，為什么還要為此而煩惱?要提醒自己，失去控制，對(duì)別人大聲叫喊，只會(huì)降低他自己的職業(yè)信用，并不會(huì)影響你的信用?！贝_實(shí)如此。