Hu Yue is my new friend，In our class, she likes singing and she can sing very well.
She's 1.60meters tall. she has blank hair and wears school uniform.She is very lovely and pretty. She likes eating hamburger, vegetable and peanuts and dislikes fishesfish, green tea and sweets,She also loves listening to music,reading and writing. Her favorite hobby is drawing. because she likes all the different colors,She is really great!
點評：本文基本沒有語法錯誤，但是篇幅太短，信息傳遞不夠全面，同時沒有出彩的短語結(jié)構(gòu)，可以在這幾方面再進行提升。
1) 寫此類主題的作文可以不用分段
2）如能善用連接詞會更好，比如在描寫興趣愛好的時候可以用“…but……”“not only…but also…”等等
She's 1.60meters tall. she has blank hair and wears school uniform.She is very lovely and pretty. She likes eating hamburger, vegetable and peanuts and dislikes fishesfish, green tea and sweets,She also loves listening to music,reading and writing. Her favorite hobby is drawing. because she likes all the different colors,She is really great!
點評：本文基本沒有語法錯誤，但是篇幅太短，信息傳遞不夠全面，同時沒有出彩的短語結(jié)構(gòu)，可以在這幾方面再進行提升。
1) 寫此類主題的作文可以不用分段
2）如能善用連接詞會更好，比如在描寫興趣愛好的時候可以用“…but……”“not only…but also…”等等