托福寫作范文:如何看待在小區(qū)附近建工廠

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★以下是英文寫作翻譯頻道為大家整理的《托福寫作范文:如何看待在小區(qū)附近建工廠》,供大家參考。更多內(nèi)容請(qǐng)看本站寫作翻譯頻道。
    A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.
    New factories often bring many good things to a community, such as jobs and increased prosperity. However, in my opinion, the benefits of having a factory are outweighed by the risks. That is why I oppose the plan to build a factory near my community.
    解析
    段落此段結(jié)構(gòu)本段是一個(gè)分總的結(jié)構(gòu)。首先第一句話寫了本文討論問題的一個(gè)社會(huì)背景和大眾想法。后面第二句話對(duì)其進(jìn)行了簡要利弊分析。最后一句話寫出了作者與眾不同的觀點(diǎn),即反對(duì)在社區(qū)中建工廠。
    此段功能本段是文章首段,對(duì)文章要討論的內(nèi)容提供了背景和社會(huì)上激烈討論的話題,然后點(diǎn)明了作者立場,并提出論點(diǎn)。
    I believe that my city would be harmed by a large factory. In particular, a factory would destroy the quality of the air and water in town. Factories bring smog and pollution. In the long run, the environment will be hurt and people’s health will be affected. Having a factory is not worth that consequence.
    解析
    段落此段結(jié)構(gòu)本段是一個(gè)總分總的結(jié)構(gòu)。首先第一句話即點(diǎn)明了主旨。后面第二句話對(duì)主旨進(jìn)行了簡要分析。后面是補(bǔ)充的作者一些具體細(xì)節(jié)。最后一句話重申論點(diǎn)。
    此段功能本段是文章的第二段,也就是正文第一段,寫了支持作者立場的第一個(gè)分論點(diǎn)。
    Of course, more jobs will be created by the factory. Our population will grow. To accommodate more workers, more homes and stores will be needed. Do we really want this much growth, so fast? If our town is going in growth, I would prefer slow growth with good planning. I don’t want to see rows of cheaply constructed townhouses. Our quality of life must be considered. I believe that this growth will change our city too much. I love my hometown because it is a safe, small town. It is also easy to travel here. If we must expand to hold new citizens, the small-town feel will be gone. I would miss that greatly.
    解析
    段落此段結(jié)構(gòu)本段是一個(gè)分總的結(jié)構(gòu)。本段分為兩個(gè)小部分展開。首先第一句話提出了一個(gè)讓步,承認(rèn)了增加工廠確實(shí)對(duì)城市發(fā)展有一定的好處。后面進(jìn)行了反問,作者自問自答,陳述了他認(rèn)為這樣的城市發(fā)展的好處也許并不是他們所期望的,進(jìn)而佐證了本文的主論點(diǎn)。第二部分是作者的進(jìn)一步發(fā)表對(duì)目前城市環(huán)境的大愛,表達(dá)了他不希望自己的家園因?yàn)楣S有更多更大的改變,進(jìn)行了升華。
    此段功能本段是文章的第三段,也就是正文第二段,寫了支持作者立場的第二個(gè)分論點(diǎn)。
    A factory would be helpful in some ways. However, I feel that the dangers are greater than the benefits. I cannot support a plan to build a factory here, and hope that others feel the same way.
    托福寫作滿分因素剖析
    一、語言表達(dá)
    相對(duì)于其他滿分作文,本文短小精悍,語言略顯平淡。不過文章語句通順,且沒有語法錯(cuò)誤,文章中也使用了復(fù)合句,被動(dòng)語態(tài),疑問句等句式,給文章增添色彩。大家可以看到,并不是所有滿分作文都有華麗的語句,像本文這樣語言平淡但是流暢通順的文章也可以拿高分。那些還不能熟練駕馭高級(jí)單詞和長難句的同學(xué)可以學(xué)學(xué)這篇文章的寫法。
    1. However, in my opinion, the benefits of having a factory are outweighed by the risks.
    此句中,in my opinion是插入語,表示作者的觀點(diǎn)。短語be outweighed by的意思為“被超過”,這種表達(dá)常在托福作文中的對(duì)比論證中出現(xiàn)。Be outweighed by 前后接事務(wù)的兩個(gè)對(duì)立的方面,比如advantage vs disadvantage, profit vs loss, benefit vs risk等。
    2. To accommodate more workers, more homes and stores will be needed.
    此句中,to引導(dǎo)動(dòng)詞不定式短語,做目的狀語。還可以用in order to和so as to引導(dǎo)目的狀語從句,區(qū)別就是so as to不能放在句首。這種有to引導(dǎo)目的狀語從句,主語用被動(dòng)語態(tài)的寫法常在托福作文中用來表示一種原因引起的一系列結(jié)果,引出一條很長的邏輯鏈。這種寫法大家不妨學(xué)習(xí)一下。
    二、邏輯結(jié)構(gòu)
    這篇文章的結(jié)構(gòu)是它獲得高分的重要因素。文章是非常簡單的正正的大正形式,雖然短小,但是每一段展開都非常充分。以第二個(gè)正文段為例,第二個(gè)正文段進(jìn)行了兩步或者三步展開。顯示讓步地分析了建造工廠的優(yōu)點(diǎn),繼而又否定了這個(gè)優(yōu)點(diǎn),陳述了自己不希望自己的家園有過多過快的改變。在論證時(shí),文章使用了許多的對(duì)比,寫出了建造工程后的利弊,做了很詳盡的利弊分析。邏輯清晰,內(nèi)容充實(shí),這種正反對(duì)比論證的方法值得我們學(xué)習(xí)。