One day, if someone gets up on the right side of the bed and calls me and says:’ You are the greatest person on earth. You are doing a great job and I want you to know I am honored to call you a friend.” I know he is sincere. How does it make me fell? Great. But the next day, duanwenwcom he gets up on the wrong side side of the bed, picks up the phone and says:” You rascal, you cheat, you crook! You are biggest fraud in town.” How does it make me feel? Terrible.
一天，如果某人情緒甚佳，并打電話給我說(shuō)：“你是世界上最偉大的人。你做得非常好，我想讓你知道把你稱作朋友是我的榮幸。”我知道他是誠(chéng)心的。聽了這話我會(huì)有何感受？棒極了。然而第二天，他情緒不佳，拿起電話給我說(shuō)：“你這惡棍，你這騙子，你這個(gè)不誠(chéng)實(shí)的人！你是鎮(zhèn)上的騙子。”我又有何感受？非常糟糕。
So the first day when he says, “You are the greatest guy,” I feel great and the next day when he says, “you rascal,” I feel terrible. Who is controlling my life? Obviously, he is, Is that the way I want to through life? Not at all. That is being externally driven.
第一天，他說(shuō)：“你是最棒的人”時(shí)， 我感覺良好。而第二天，當(dāng)他說(shuō)：”你是惡棍”時(shí)我感覺糟糕。誰(shuí)在操縱我的生活？很明顯是他。難道這就是我的生活方式嗎？決不是，這是外因驅(qū)動(dòng)。
I want to be internally driven. When he calls me and says I am the greatest guy it is good to hear those words. But even if he doesn’t say those words, in my own estimation, I am still a god human being. And the next day when he rips me apart, he can’t really, because in my own estimation, duanwenw.com I am still a good human being. When people make statements like, “You make me angry, ” the focus of control is external. But if I say I am angry or I choose to be angry, the focus of control is internal.
我要主動(dòng)的生活。當(dāng)他打電話給我說(shuō)我是最棒的人時(shí)，接受這些話語(yǔ)是有益的，但即使他并不是這么說(shuō)，在我的自我評(píng)價(jià)中我依然是個(gè)好人。而第二天，當(dāng)他想將我的自尊心撕碎時(shí)，他也并不能真正做到，因?yàn)樵谖业淖晕以u(píng)價(jià)中我依舊是個(gè)好人。當(dāng)人們說(shuō)：“你使我憤怒“時(shí)，操縱點(diǎn)在外界。而如果我說(shuō)我生氣了，或者我要選擇生氣，那么操縱點(diǎn)就是內(nèi)在的。
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.
沒有人能使你感到低微，除非你允許他們這樣做。