★以下是英文寫作翻譯頻道為大家整理的《英語寫作技巧：商務英語郵件》，供大家參考。更多內(nèi)容請看本站寫作翻譯頻道。
1.先陳述結論。 現(xiàn)在人們沒有時間去斟酌你的思考過程。他們需要你在前兩句話中直接點明郵件的主旨。 Wrong: In this white paper, we will investigate the potential impact of remedial sales training in our buyer/seller relationships. First, let us discuss the initial conditions which precipitated our inquiry. 錯誤示例：在這本白皮書中，我們將調(diào)查補救銷售培訓對顧客和銷售員關系的潛在影響。首先，在開始調(diào)查之前，讓我們討論一下初始條件。 Right: If we don't fund the ABC sales training program, our sales will plummet. 正確示例：如果我們不投資ABC銷售培訓項目，我們的銷售額會大幅降低。 2.使用第一人稱而不用無人稱句子。 有力的商務寫作能鞏固關系。但是如何和陌生人或是滿口術語行話的人建立關系呢? Wrong: "The operational goals of this organization include an increase in morale as well as overall job satisfaction." 錯誤示例：這個組織的運作目標包括鼓舞士氣和提高工作滿意度。 Right: "I want to enjoy working here. I'll bet you do, too." 正確示例：我想要享受在這兒工作。我相信你也是。 3.舉實例而不是談抽象的概念。 雖然抽象概念有一定價值，但是如果沒有實例加以解釋就很難理解。 Wrong: "The ability for sales and marketing to cooperate on sales opportunities is crucial to sustainable revenue growth." 錯誤示例：通過銷售和營銷能力提高銷售幾率對可持續(xù)的銷售增長至關重要。 Right: "The other day, we lost the Acme account because our sales message and our marketing message didn't jibe." 正確示例：因為銷售信息和營銷信息不匹配，我們失去了重要客戶。 4.兼顧情感和理性 人們根據(jù)情感做決定，然后再為決定找智力方面的理由。 Wrong: "Our records indicate that 10% of our sales opportunities are lost without any sustained effort in the area of competitive analysis and comparison." 錯誤示例：我們的記錄顯示我們因為缺乏在競爭分析和比較方面的持續(xù)努力而喪失了10%的銷售機會。 Right: "Everyone around here loves winning deals so much that we get skittish when it comes to finding out why we lost a deal." 正確示例：在場的每個人都想要贏得生意以至于當我們找到丟失這筆生意的原因時，我們都坐立不安。 5.使用生動的語言而不是陳詞濫調(diào)。 使用那些無趣的專業(yè)術語或者老掉牙的比喻會掩蓋你的寫作。 Wrong: "This action item calls for out-of-the-box thinking." 錯誤示例：這項任務要求大膽開闊的想法。 Right: "If you've got an idea that you're afraid might be half-baked, let's consider it anyway." 正確示例：如果你有一個想法，那你擔心會中途流產(chǎn)，沒關系先考慮再說。 6.不要重復自己說的話。 重復會使文章顯得冗長卻沒有實質(zhì)內(nèi)容。它會使你的文章大打折扣并且削弱你的觀點。 Wrong: "This training program teaches you to learn the best tricks, tips, techniques and skills for every stage of the market process." 錯誤示例：這個培訓項目能教會你營銷過程中好的手段、方法、技巧和技能。 Right: "This program teaches the best marketing tricks." 正確示例：這個項目能教會你好的營銷手段。 7.簡潔而不要繁瑣 一些商務人士認為自己的工資和寫文章的字數(shù)掛鉤，就像三十年代的低俗小說家。 Wrong: "In order to focus externally, we must focus both externally and internally (customer's customer and internal alignment necessary to respond), with internal collaboration with common focus/goals by stakeholders accountable for ultimate business results oriented, optimized and coordinated outputs, aligned around the sales cycle and with a proactive approach to higher order competency investments and being unwilling to throw deliverables over the fence to sales teams and trust results will be achieved." 錯誤示例：為了從外部關注，我們必需同時從內(nèi)部和外部關注(顧客的顧客以及能做出必要反應的內(nèi)部聯(lián)盟)，同股東達成共識并建立內(nèi)部合作，對終經(jīng)營成果的導向和優(yōu)化負責，對銷售過程中的產(chǎn)量協(xié)調(diào)負責并積極促進訂單能力投資，不將應交付產(chǎn)品只交給銷售團隊，那么就能達到信任的結果。 Right: "We need to measure how well this works." 正確示例：我們需要了解它的功效到底有多好。 8.注重獨一無二的而不是普遍 如果你說的東西和其他人的完全一樣，那還說什么? Wrong: "Our B2B services increase sales and reduce costs." 錯誤示例：我們的B2B服務能增加銷售并減少成本。 Right: "Our customers often double their profit margins. No other vendor can do this." 正確示例:我們客戶的利潤率經(jīng)常翻倍。其他任何銷售商都做不到這一點。 9.用名詞和動詞而不是形容詞和副詞。 形容詞和副詞會削弱你的文章，尤其是當你想要用它們來讓一句枯燥的話變得生動些的時候。 Wrong: "We have an exciting, brand new product that will easily and quickly solve your most difficult sales process problems." 錯誤示例：我們推出了一款令人振奮的、全新的產(chǎn)品，它能夠輕易解決我們面臨的難的銷售問題。 Right: " This product will help you turn prospects into customers in less time." 正確示例：這款產(chǎn)品能夠幫助你在較短時間內(nèi)開拓新用戶。 10.用講故事的方式強調(diào)關鍵點。 人們能夠在忘記事實之后很長時間內(nèi)回想起相關的故事。 Wrong: "Studies indicate that some office workers spend as much as 40% of their time writing and answering internal emails." 錯誤示例：研究表明辦公室白領有40%的時間花在寫作和回復內(nèi)部郵件上。 Right: "I sat down this morning and opened Outlook and you know what I discovered? 237 new messages! 237!! So I'm wondering how the heck can I get through all that junk and still get some real work done? " 正確示例：今早我剛坐下打開了Outlook,你知道我發(fā)現(xiàn)了什么嗎?237條新消息!237條!我在想到底怎么樣才能把這些全部處理完再做些正經(jīng)的工作。 11.使用簡單的詞匯而不是華而不實的術語。 用冗長的單詞或不需要技術含量術語不會讓你顯得聰明些;這只會讓你看起來自以為是。 Wrong: "The facility-wide 802.11 networking infrastructure has now been completely implemented and is currently available for workplace utilization." 錯誤示例：這個多功能的802.11網(wǎng)絡基礎設施已經(jīng)完全投入使用了，現(xiàn)在用于工作場合。 Right: "You can now use wireless in this building." 正確示例：你現(xiàn)在可以在大樓里使用無線網(wǎng)了。 12.展示證據(jù)而不是觀點。 除非某人私下和你熟識并相信你的判斷，否則你的觀點不足以說服他人。相反的，觀點只會讓你聽起來像是自吹自擂。 Wrong: "We have the best service, the most reliable product and the friendliest salespeople." 錯誤示例：我們有好的服務，值得信賴的產(chǎn)品和友善的銷售人員。 Right: "We won the XYZ best service award. Twice." 正確示例：我們贏得了XYZ佳服務獎兩次。
1.先陳述結論。 現(xiàn)在人們沒有時間去斟酌你的思考過程。他們需要你在前兩句話中直接點明郵件的主旨。 Wrong: In this white paper, we will investigate the potential impact of remedial sales training in our buyer/seller relationships. First, let us discuss the initial conditions which precipitated our inquiry. 錯誤示例：在這本白皮書中，我們將調(diào)查補救銷售培訓對顧客和銷售員關系的潛在影響。首先，在開始調(diào)查之前，讓我們討論一下初始條件。 Right: If we don't fund the ABC sales training program, our sales will plummet. 正確示例：如果我們不投資ABC銷售培訓項目，我們的銷售額會大幅降低。 2.使用第一人稱而不用無人稱句子。 有力的商務寫作能鞏固關系。但是如何和陌生人或是滿口術語行話的人建立關系呢? Wrong: "The operational goals of this organization include an increase in morale as well as overall job satisfaction." 錯誤示例：這個組織的運作目標包括鼓舞士氣和提高工作滿意度。 Right: "I want to enjoy working here. I'll bet you do, too." 正確示例：我想要享受在這兒工作。我相信你也是。 3.舉實例而不是談抽象的概念。 雖然抽象概念有一定價值，但是如果沒有實例加以解釋就很難理解。 Wrong: "The ability for sales and marketing to cooperate on sales opportunities is crucial to sustainable revenue growth." 錯誤示例：通過銷售和營銷能力提高銷售幾率對可持續(xù)的銷售增長至關重要。 Right: "The other day, we lost the Acme account because our sales message and our marketing message didn't jibe." 正確示例：因為銷售信息和營銷信息不匹配，我們失去了重要客戶。 4.兼顧情感和理性 人們根據(jù)情感做決定，然后再為決定找智力方面的理由。 Wrong: "Our records indicate that 10% of our sales opportunities are lost without any sustained effort in the area of competitive analysis and comparison." 錯誤示例：我們的記錄顯示我們因為缺乏在競爭分析和比較方面的持續(xù)努力而喪失了10%的銷售機會。 Right: "Everyone around here loves winning deals so much that we get skittish when it comes to finding out why we lost a deal." 正確示例：在場的每個人都想要贏得生意以至于當我們找到丟失這筆生意的原因時，我們都坐立不安。 5.使用生動的語言而不是陳詞濫調(diào)。 使用那些無趣的專業(yè)術語或者老掉牙的比喻會掩蓋你的寫作。 Wrong: "This action item calls for out-of-the-box thinking." 錯誤示例：這項任務要求大膽開闊的想法。 Right: "If you've got an idea that you're afraid might be half-baked, let's consider it anyway." 正確示例：如果你有一個想法，那你擔心會中途流產(chǎn)，沒關系先考慮再說。 6.不要重復自己說的話。 重復會使文章顯得冗長卻沒有實質(zhì)內(nèi)容。它會使你的文章大打折扣并且削弱你的觀點。 Wrong: "This training program teaches you to learn the best tricks, tips, techniques and skills for every stage of the market process." 錯誤示例：這個培訓項目能教會你營銷過程中好的手段、方法、技巧和技能。 Right: "This program teaches the best marketing tricks." 正確示例：這個項目能教會你好的營銷手段。 7.簡潔而不要繁瑣 一些商務人士認為自己的工資和寫文章的字數(shù)掛鉤，就像三十年代的低俗小說家。 Wrong: "In order to focus externally, we must focus both externally and internally (customer's customer and internal alignment necessary to respond), with internal collaboration with common focus/goals by stakeholders accountable for ultimate business results oriented, optimized and coordinated outputs, aligned around the sales cycle and with a proactive approach to higher order competency investments and being unwilling to throw deliverables over the fence to sales teams and trust results will be achieved." 錯誤示例：為了從外部關注，我們必需同時從內(nèi)部和外部關注(顧客的顧客以及能做出必要反應的內(nèi)部聯(lián)盟)，同股東達成共識并建立內(nèi)部合作，對終經(jīng)營成果的導向和優(yōu)化負責，對銷售過程中的產(chǎn)量協(xié)調(diào)負責并積極促進訂單能力投資，不將應交付產(chǎn)品只交給銷售團隊，那么就能達到信任的結果。 Right: "We need to measure how well this works." 正確示例：我們需要了解它的功效到底有多好。 8.注重獨一無二的而不是普遍 如果你說的東西和其他人的完全一樣，那還說什么? Wrong: "Our B2B services increase sales and reduce costs." 錯誤示例：我們的B2B服務能增加銷售并減少成本。 Right: "Our customers often double their profit margins. No other vendor can do this." 正確示例:我們客戶的利潤率經(jīng)常翻倍。其他任何銷售商都做不到這一點。 9.用名詞和動詞而不是形容詞和副詞。 形容詞和副詞會削弱你的文章，尤其是當你想要用它們來讓一句枯燥的話變得生動些的時候。 Wrong: "We have an exciting, brand new product that will easily and quickly solve your most difficult sales process problems." 錯誤示例：我們推出了一款令人振奮的、全新的產(chǎn)品，它能夠輕易解決我們面臨的難的銷售問題。 Right: " This product will help you turn prospects into customers in less time." 正確示例：這款產(chǎn)品能夠幫助你在較短時間內(nèi)開拓新用戶。 10.用講故事的方式強調(diào)關鍵點。 人們能夠在忘記事實之后很長時間內(nèi)回想起相關的故事。 Wrong: "Studies indicate that some office workers spend as much as 40% of their time writing and answering internal emails." 錯誤示例：研究表明辦公室白領有40%的時間花在寫作和回復內(nèi)部郵件上。 Right: "I sat down this morning and opened Outlook and you know what I discovered? 237 new messages! 237!! So I'm wondering how the heck can I get through all that junk and still get some real work done? " 正確示例：今早我剛坐下打開了Outlook,你知道我發(fā)現(xiàn)了什么嗎?237條新消息!237條!我在想到底怎么樣才能把這些全部處理完再做些正經(jīng)的工作。 11.使用簡單的詞匯而不是華而不實的術語。 用冗長的單詞或不需要技術含量術語不會讓你顯得聰明些;這只會讓你看起來自以為是。 Wrong: "The facility-wide 802.11 networking infrastructure has now been completely implemented and is currently available for workplace utilization." 錯誤示例：這個多功能的802.11網(wǎng)絡基礎設施已經(jīng)完全投入使用了，現(xiàn)在用于工作場合。 Right: "You can now use wireless in this building." 正確示例：你現(xiàn)在可以在大樓里使用無線網(wǎng)了。 12.展示證據(jù)而不是觀點。 除非某人私下和你熟識并相信你的判斷，否則你的觀點不足以說服他人。相反的，觀點只會讓你聽起來像是自吹自擂。 Wrong: "We have the best service, the most reliable product and the friendliest salespeople." 錯誤示例：我們有好的服務，值得信賴的產(chǎn)品和友善的銷售人員。 Right: "We won the XYZ best service award. Twice." 正確示例：我們贏得了XYZ佳服務獎兩次。