英語聽力材料：老友記第一季The One With the Butt
The One With the Butt
[Scene: A Theater, the gang is in the audience wating for a play of Joey's to start.]
Rachel: (reading the program) Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, there's Joey's picture! This is so exciting!
Chandler: You can always spot someone who's never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom...
Phoebe: The exclamation point in the title scares me. (Gesturing) Y'know, it's not just Freud, it's Freud!
(The lights dim.)
Ross: Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen.
(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)
Joey: Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
All you want is a dingle,
What you envy's a schwang,
A thing through which you can tinkle,
Or play with, or simply let hang...
Opening Credits
[Scene: The Theater, the play has ended and everyone is applauding. As soon as the cast leaves, the gang all groan and sit down heavily.]
Rachel: God. I feel violated.
Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
Chandler: (staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten o'clock.
Ross: Is it? Feels like two.
Chandler: No, ten o'clock.
Ross: What?
Chandler: (sighs and gestures to explain) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
Ross: Oh. Hel-lo!
Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
Chandler: Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.'
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!
Chandler: Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.
Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
Chandler: Thank you, buddy.
Phoebe: Oh, oh, but y'know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys.
Monica: You could do that!
Chandler: Y'think?
All: Yeah!
Chandler: Oh God, I can't believe I'm even considering this... I'm very very aware of my tongue...
Ross: C'mon! C'mon!
Chandler: Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there.)
Aurora: ...Yes?
Chandler: Hi.... um... okay, next word... would be... Chandler! Chandler is my name, and, uh...(He clears his throat noisily)...hi.
Aurora: Yes, you said that.
Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. (He walks back to the others but she calls him back.)
Aurora: Chandler?
(Joey enters from behind a curtain. The others all talk at once.)
All: Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
Joey: Whadja think?
(Pause)
All: ...Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
Joey: C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head.
All: (admitting) Saw your head. Saw your head.
Chandler: (running back) She said yes!! She said yes!! (To Joey) Awful play, man. Whoah. (To All) Her name's Aurora, and she's Italian, and she pronounces my name 'Chand-lrr'. 'Chand-lrr'. I think I like it better that way. (To Joey) Oh, listen, the usher gave me this to give to you. (He fishes a card out of his pocket.)
Rachel: What is it?
Joey: The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. Wow, an agency left me its card! Maybe they wanna sign me!
Phoebe: Based on this play? ...Based on this play!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone else is there as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hey, kids.
All: Hey.
Phoebe: (reading Monica's palm) No, 'cause this line is passion, and this is... just a line.
Chandler: Well, I can't believe I've been here almost seven seconds and you haven't asked me how my date went.
Monica: Oh, right, right. How was your date, 'Chand-lrr'?
Chandler: It was unbelievable. I-I've never met anyone like her. She's had the most amazing life! She was in the Israeli amp3y...
(A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk is denoted by italics.)
Aurora: ...Luckily none of the bullets hit the engine block. So, we made it to the border, but just barely, and I- ...I've been talking about myself all night long, I'm sorry. What about you? Tell me one of your stories.
Chandler: Alright. Once I got on the subway, right, and it was at night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... just for the hell of it.
Chandler: We talked 'til like two. It was this perfect evening... more or less.
Aurora: ...All of a sudden we realised we were in Yammon.
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, so 'we' is?
Aurora: 'We' would be me and Rick.
Joey: Who's Rick?
Chandler: Who's Rick?
Aurora: My husband.
All: Ooooohhh.
Chandler: Oh, so you're divorced?
Aurora: No.
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, then you're widowed?...Hopefully?
Aurora: No, I'm still married.
Chandler: So tell me, how do- how do you think your husband would feel about you sitting here with me?...Sliding your foot so far up my pant leg you can count the change in my pocket?
Aurora: Don't worry. I imagine he'd be okay with you because really, he's okay with Ethan.
Chandler: Ethan? There's, there's an Ethan?
Aurora: Mmmm... Ethan is my... boyfriend.
All: What?!
Chandler: So explain something to me here, uh, what kind of a relationship do you imagine us having if you already have a husband and a boyfriend?
Aurora: I suppose mainly sexual.
Chandler: ...Hm.
Monica: Oh. I'm sorry it didn't work out.
Chandler: What 'not work out'? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen to the story?
Monica: Didn't you listen to the story? I mean, this is twisted! How could you get involved with a woman like this?
Chandler: Well, y'know, I had some trouble with it at first too, but the way I look at it is, I get all the good stuff: all the fun, all the talking, all the sex; and none of the responsibility. I mean, this is every guy's fantasy!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. That is not true. Ross, is this your fantasy?
Ross: No, of course not! (Thinks) ...Yeah, yeah, it is.
Monica: What? So you guys don't mind going out with someone else who's going out with someone else?
Joey: I couldn't do it.
Monica: Good for you, Joey.
The One With the Butt
[Scene: A Theater, the gang is in the audience wating for a play of Joey's to start.]
Rachel: (reading the program) Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, there's Joey's picture! This is so exciting!
Chandler: You can always spot someone who's never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom...
Phoebe: The exclamation point in the title scares me. (Gesturing) Y'know, it's not just Freud, it's Freud!
(The lights dim.)
Ross: Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen.
(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)
Joey: Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
All you want is a dingle,
What you envy's a schwang,
A thing through which you can tinkle,
Or play with, or simply let hang...
Opening Credits
[Scene: The Theater, the play has ended and everyone is applauding. As soon as the cast leaves, the gang all groan and sit down heavily.]
Rachel: God. I feel violated.
Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
Chandler: (staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten o'clock.
Ross: Is it? Feels like two.
Chandler: No, ten o'clock.
Ross: What?
Chandler: (sighs and gestures to explain) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
Ross: Oh. Hel-lo!
Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
Chandler: Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.'
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!
Chandler: Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.
Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
Chandler: Thank you, buddy.
Phoebe: Oh, oh, but y'know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys.
Monica: You could do that!
Chandler: Y'think?
All: Yeah!
Chandler: Oh God, I can't believe I'm even considering this... I'm very very aware of my tongue...
Ross: C'mon! C'mon!
Chandler: Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there.)
Aurora: ...Yes?
Chandler: Hi.... um... okay, next word... would be... Chandler! Chandler is my name, and, uh...(He clears his throat noisily)...hi.
Aurora: Yes, you said that.
Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. (He walks back to the others but she calls him back.)
Aurora: Chandler?
(Joey enters from behind a curtain. The others all talk at once.)
All: Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
Joey: Whadja think?
(Pause)
All: ...Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
Joey: C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head.
All: (admitting) Saw your head. Saw your head.
Chandler: (running back) She said yes!! She said yes!! (To Joey) Awful play, man. Whoah. (To All) Her name's Aurora, and she's Italian, and she pronounces my name 'Chand-lrr'. 'Chand-lrr'. I think I like it better that way. (To Joey) Oh, listen, the usher gave me this to give to you. (He fishes a card out of his pocket.)
Rachel: What is it?
Joey: The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. Wow, an agency left me its card! Maybe they wanna sign me!
Phoebe: Based on this play? ...Based on this play!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone else is there as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hey, kids.
All: Hey.
Phoebe: (reading Monica's palm) No, 'cause this line is passion, and this is... just a line.
Chandler: Well, I can't believe I've been here almost seven seconds and you haven't asked me how my date went.
Monica: Oh, right, right. How was your date, 'Chand-lrr'?
Chandler: It was unbelievable. I-I've never met anyone like her. She's had the most amazing life! She was in the Israeli amp3y...
(A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk is denoted by italics.)
Aurora: ...Luckily none of the bullets hit the engine block. So, we made it to the border, but just barely, and I- ...I've been talking about myself all night long, I'm sorry. What about you? Tell me one of your stories.
Chandler: Alright. Once I got on the subway, right, and it was at night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... just for the hell of it.
Chandler: We talked 'til like two. It was this perfect evening... more or less.
Aurora: ...All of a sudden we realised we were in Yammon.
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, so 'we' is?
Aurora: 'We' would be me and Rick.
Joey: Who's Rick?
Chandler: Who's Rick?
Aurora: My husband.
All: Ooooohhh.
Chandler: Oh, so you're divorced?
Aurora: No.
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, then you're widowed?...Hopefully?
Aurora: No, I'm still married.
Chandler: So tell me, how do- how do you think your husband would feel about you sitting here with me?...Sliding your foot so far up my pant leg you can count the change in my pocket?
Aurora: Don't worry. I imagine he'd be okay with you because really, he's okay with Ethan.
Chandler: Ethan? There's, there's an Ethan?
Aurora: Mmmm... Ethan is my... boyfriend.
All: What?!
Chandler: So explain something to me here, uh, what kind of a relationship do you imagine us having if you already have a husband and a boyfriend?
Aurora: I suppose mainly sexual.
Chandler: ...Hm.
Monica: Oh. I'm sorry it didn't work out.
Chandler: What 'not work out'? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen to the story?
Monica: Didn't you listen to the story? I mean, this is twisted! How could you get involved with a woman like this?
Chandler: Well, y'know, I had some trouble with it at first too, but the way I look at it is, I get all the good stuff: all the fun, all the talking, all the sex; and none of the responsibility. I mean, this is every guy's fantasy!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. That is not true. Ross, is this your fantasy?
Ross: No, of course not! (Thinks) ...Yeah, yeah, it is.
Monica: What? So you guys don't mind going out with someone else who's going out with someone else?
Joey: I couldn't do it.
Monica: Good for you, Joey.