THE EARLY MASS.
For Nekhludoff this early mass remained for ever after one of the brightest and most vivid memories of his life. When he rode out of the darkness, broken only here and there by patches of white snow, into the churchyard illuminated by a row of lamps around the church, the service had already begun.
The peasants, recognising Mary Ivanovna's nephew, led his horse, which was pricking up its cars at the sight of the lights, to a dry place where he could get off, put it up for him, and showed him into the church, which was full of people. On the right stood the peasants; the old men in home-spun coats, and clean white linen bands [long strips of linen are worn by the peasants instead of stockings] wrapped round their legs, the young men in new cloth coats, bright-coloured belts round their waists, and top-boots.
On the left stood the women, with red silk kerchiefs on their heads, black velveteen sleeveless jackets, bright red shirt-sleeves, gay-coloured green, blue, and red skirts, and thick leather boots. The old women, dressed more quietly, stood behind them, with white kerchiefs, homespun coats, old-fashioned skirts of dark home-spun material, and shoes on their feet. Gaily-dressed children, their hair well oiled, went in and out among them.
The men, making the sign of the cross, bowed down and raised their heads again, shaking back their hair.
The women, especially the old ones, fixed their eyes on an icon surrounded with candies and made the sign of the cross, firmly pressing their folded fingers to the kerchief on their foreheads, to their shoulders, and their stomachs, and, whispering something, stooped or knelt down. The children, imitating the grown-up people, prayed earnestly when they knew that they were being observed. The gilt case containing the icon glittered, illuminated on all sides by tall candles ornamented with golden spirals. The candelabra was filled with tapers, and from the choir sounded most merry tunes sung by amateur choristers, with bellowing bass and shrill boys' voices among them.
Nekhludoff passed up to the front. In the middle of the church stood the aristocracy of the place: a landed proprietor, with his wife and son (the latter dressed in a sailor's suit), the police officer, the telegraph clerk, a tradesman in top-boots, and the village elder, with a medal on his breast; and to the right of the ambo, just behind the landed proprietor's wife, stood Matrona Pavlovna in a lilac dress and fringed shawl and Katusha in a white dress with a tucked bodice, blue sash, and red bow in her black hair.
Everything seemed festive, solemn, bright, and beautiful: the priest in his silver cloth vestments with gold crosses; the deacon, the clerk and chanter in their silver and gold surplices; the amateur choristers in their best clothes, with their well-oiled hair; the merry tunes of the holiday hymns that sounded like dance music; and the continual blessing of the people by the priests, who held candles decorated with flowers, and repeated the cry of "Christ is risen!" "Christ is risen!" All was beautiful; but, above all, Katusha, in her white dress, blue sash, and the red bow on her black head, her eyes beaming with rapture.
Nekhludoff knew that she felt his presence without looking at him. He noticed this as he passed her, walking up to the altar. He had nothing to tell her, but he invented something to say and whispered as he passed her: "Aunt told me that she would break her fast after the late mass." The young blood rushed up to Katusha's sweet face, as it always did when she looked at him. The black eyes, laughing and full of joy, gazed naively up and remained fixed on Nekhludoff.
"I know," she said, with a smile.
At this moment the clerk was going out with a copper coffee-pot [coffee-pots are often used for holding holy water in Russia] of holy water in his hand, and, not noticing Katusha, brushed her with his surplice. Evidently he brushed against Katusha through wishing to pass Nekhludoff at a respectful distance, and Nekhludoff was surprised that he, the clerk, did not understand that everything here, yes, and in all the world, only existed for Katusha, and that everything else might remain unheeded, only not she, because she was the centre of all. For her the gold glittered round the icons; for her all these candles in candelabra and candlesticks were alight; for her were sung these joyful hymns, "Behold the Passover of the Lord" "Rejoice, O ye people!" All--all that was good in the world was for her. And it seemed to him that Katusha was aware that it was all for her when he looked at her well-shaped figure, the tucked white dress, the wrapt, joyous expression of her face, by which he knew that just exactly the same that was singing in his own soul was also singing in hers.
In the interval between the early and the late mass Nekhludoff left the church. The people stood aside to let him pass, and bowed. Some knew him; others asked who he was.
He stopped on the steps. The beggars standing there came clamouring round him, and he gave them all the change he had in his purse and went down. It was dawning, but the sun had not yet risen. The people grouped round the graves in the churchyard. Katusha had remained inside. Nekhludoff stood waiting for her.
The people continued coming out, clattering with their nailed boots on the stone steps and dispersing over the churchyard. A very old man with shaking head, his aunts' cook, stopped Nekhludoff in order to give him the Easter kiss, his old wife took an egg, dyed yellow, out of her handkerchief and gave it to Nekhludoff, and a smiling young peasant in a new coat and green belt also came up.
"Christ is risen," he said, with laughing eyes, and coming close to Nekhludoff he enveloped him in his peculiar but pleasant peasant smell, and, tickling him with his curly beard, kissed him three times straight on the mouth with his firm, fresh lips.
While the peasant was kissing Nekhludoff and giving him a dark brown egg, the lilac dress of Matrona Pavlovna and the dear black head with the red bow appeared.
Katusha caught sight of him over the heads of those in front of her, and he saw how her face brightened up.
She had come out with Matrona Pavlovna on to the porch, and stopped there distributing alms to the beggars. A beggar with a red scab in place of a nose came up to Katusha. She gave him something, drew nearer him, and, evincing no sign of disgust, but her eyes still shining with joy, kissed him three times. And while she was doing this her eyes met Nekhludoff's with a look as if she were asking, "Is this that I am doing right?" "Yes, dear, yes, it is right; everything is right, everything is beautiful. I love!"
They came down the steps of the porch, and he came up to them.
He did not mean to give them the Easter kiss, but only to be nearer to her. Matrona Pavlovna bowed her head, and said with a smile, "Christ is risen!" and her tone implied, "To-day we are all equal." She wiped her mouth with her handkerchief rolled into a ball and stretched her lips towards him.
"He is, indeed," answered Nekhludoff, kissing her. Then he looked at Katusha; she blushed, and drew nearer. "Christ is risen, Dmitri Ivanovitch." "He is risen, indeed," answered Nekhludoff, and they kissed twice, then paused as if considering whether a third kiss were necessary, and, having decided that it was, kissed a third time and smiled.
"You are going to the priests?" asked Nekhludoff.
"No, we shall sit out here a bit, Dmitri Ivanovitch," said Katusha with effort, as if she had accomplished some joyous task, and, her whole chest heaving with a deep sigh, she looked straight in his face with a look of devotion, virgin purity, and love, in her very slightly squinting eyes.
In the love between a man and a woman there always comes a moment when this love has reached its zenith--a moment when it is unconscious, unreasoning, and with nothing sensual about it. Such a moment had come for Nekhludoff on that Easter eve. When he brought Katusha back to his mind, now, this moment veiled all else; the smooth glossy black head, the white tucked dress closely fitting her graceful maidenly form, her, as yet, un-developed bosom, the blushing cheeks, the tender shining black eyes with their slight squint heightened by the sleepless night, and her whole being stamped with those two marked features, purity and chaste love, love not only for him (he knew that), but for everybody and everything, not for the good alone, but for all that is in the world, even for that beggar whom she had kissed.
He knew she had that love in her because on that night and morning he was conscious of it in himself, and conscious that in this love he became one with her. Ah! if it had all stopped there, at the point it had reached that night. "Yes, all that horrible business had not yet happened on that Easter eve!" he thought, as he sat by the window of the jurymen's room.
這次晨禱給聶赫留朵夫一輩子留下極其鮮明極其深刻的印象。
通過(guò)稀稀落落散布著幾堆白雪的漆黑道路，他騎馬蹚著水，來(lái)到教堂前的院子里。他的馬看見(jiàn)教堂周?chē)狞c(diǎn)點(diǎn)燈火，豎起耳朵。這時(shí)候，禮拜已開(kāi)始了。
有幾個(gè)農(nóng)民認(rèn)出他是瑪麗雅小姐的侄兒，就領(lǐng)他到干燥的地方下馬，牽過(guò)馬來(lái)掛好，然后把他帶到教堂里。教堂里已擠滿了過(guò)節(jié)的人。
右邊都是莊稼漢：老頭子身穿土布長(zhǎng)袍，腳包白凈的包腳布，外套樹(shù)皮鞋；小伙子身穿嶄新的呢長(zhǎng)袍，腰束色彩鮮艷的闊腰帶，腳登高統(tǒng)皮靴。左邊都是女人，她們頭上包著紅綢巾，身穿棉絨緊身襖，配著大紅衣袖，系著藍(lán)色、綠色、紅色或者花色的裙子，腳上穿著釘上鐵釘?shù)陌虢y(tǒng)靴。老年婦女衣著樸素，站在后面，她們包著白頭巾，身穿灰短襖，系著老式毛織裙子，腳穿平底鞋或者嶄新的樹(shù)皮鞋。人群中還夾雜著孩子，他們打扮得漂漂亮亮，頭發(fā)抹得油光光。農(nóng)民們畫(huà)十字，甩動(dòng)頭發(fā)鞠躬。婦女們，特別是那些上了年紀(jì)的，用她們褪了色的眼睛盯著蠟燭和圣像，用并攏的手指緊緊地按按額上的頭巾、雙肩和腹部，嘴里念念有詞，彎腰站著或者跪下。孩子們看見(jiàn)有人在瞧著他們，就學(xué)大人的樣，一個(gè)勁兒地做禱告。鍍金的圣像壁，被周?chē)椊鸫笙灎T和小蠟燭照得金光閃閃。枝形大燭臺(tái)上插滿了蠟燭，光輝燦爛。從唱詩(shī)班那里傳來(lái)業(yè)余歌手歡樂(lè)的歌聲，其中夾雜著嘶啞的男低音和尖細(xì)的童聲。
聶赫留朵夫向前走去。教堂中央站著上層人物：一個(gè)地主帶著妻子和穿水兵服的兒子，警察分局局長(zhǎng)，電報(bào)員，穿高統(tǒng)皮靴的商人，佩戴獎(jiǎng)?wù)碌泥l(xiāng)長(zhǎng)。在讀經(jīng)臺(tái)右邊，地主太太后面站著瑪特廖娜?，斕亓文壬泶╅W光的紫色連衣裙，披著有流蘇的白色大圍巾?？ㄇ锷驹谒赃?，身穿一件胸前有皺褶的雪白連衣裙，腰里系著一根淺藍(lán)帶子，烏黑的頭發(fā)上扎著一個(gè)鮮紅的蝴蝶結(jié)。
整個(gè)教堂里都洋溢著喜悅、莊嚴(yán)、歡樂(lè)和美好的氣氛。司祭們穿著銀光閃閃的法衣，掛著金十字架。助祭和誦經(jīng)士穿著有金銀絲絳裝飾的祭服。業(yè)余歌手們也都穿著節(jié)日的盛裝，頭發(fā)擦得油光閃亮。節(jié)日的贊美詩(shī)聽(tīng)上去象歡樂(lè)的舞曲。司祭們高舉插有三支蠟燭、飾有花卉的燭臺(tái)，不停地為人們祝福，嘴里反復(fù)歡呼：“基督復(fù)活了！基督復(fù)活了！”一切都很美麗，但最美麗的卻是那穿著雪白連衣裙、系著淺藍(lán)腰帶、烏黑的頭發(fā)上扎著鮮紅蝴蝶結(jié)、眼睛閃耀著快樂(lè)光芒的卡秋莎。
聶赫留朵夫發(fā)覺(jué)她雖然沒(méi)有回過(guò)頭來(lái)，卻看見(jiàn)了他。他是在走向祭壇，經(jīng)過(guò)她身邊時(shí)注意到的。他對(duì)她本沒(méi)有什么話要說(shuō)，但就在經(jīng)過(guò)她身邊時(shí)想出了一句：
“姑媽說(shuō)，做完晚彌撒她就開(kāi)齋。”
就象每次見(jiàn)到他那樣，她那可愛(ài)的臉蛋上泛起了青春的紅暈，烏黑的眼睛閃耀著笑意和歡樂(lè)，她天真爛漫地從腳到頭瞅著聶赫留朵夫。
“我知道，”她笑瞇瞇地說(shuō)。
這當(dāng)兒，一個(gè)誦經(jīng)士手里拿著一把銅咖啡壺，穿過(guò)人群，在經(jīng)過(guò)卡秋莎身邊時(shí)沒(méi)有留神，他的祭服下擺觸到了卡秋莎。那誦經(jīng)士顯然是由于尊敬聶赫留朵夫，有意從他旁邊繞過(guò)去，結(jié)果卻觸到了卡秋莎。聶赫留朵夫心里奇怪，那個(gè)誦經(jīng)士怎么會(huì)不明白，這里的一切，連全世界的一切，都是為卡秋莎一人而存在的，他可以忽視世間萬(wàn)物，但不能怠慢卡秋莎，因?yàn)樗褪鞘澜绲闹行摹榱怂?，圣像壁才金光閃閃，燭臺(tái)上的蠟燭才歡樂(lè)地燃燒；為了她，人們才高歌歡唱，“耶穌復(fù)活了，人們啊，歡樂(lè)吧！”世上一切美好的東西都是為她，為她一人而存在的。他認(rèn)為卡秋莎也懂得，一切都是為了她。聶赫留朵夫注視著她那穿帶皺褶雪白連衣裙的苗條身材，注視著她那張聚精會(huì)神的喜氣洋洋的臉，心里有這樣的感覺(jué)。他還從她臉部的表情上看出，她心里所唱的和他心里所唱的是同一首歌。
聶赫留朵夫在早彌撒和晚彌撒之間那個(gè)時(shí)刻走出教堂。人們紛紛給他讓路，向他鞠躬。有人認(rèn)識(shí)他，有人卻問(wèn)：“他是誰(shuí)家的？”他在教堂門(mén)前的臺(tái)階上停住腳步。乞丐們把他團(tuán)團(tuán)圍住。他把錢(qián)包里的零錢(qián)都分給他們，這才走下臺(tái)階。
天已經(jīng)亮了，四下里一切都看得清楚，但太陽(yáng)還沒(méi)有升起。人們分散在教堂周?chē)哪沟厣?。卡秋莎留在教堂里。聶赫留朵夫站在門(mén)口等她。
人們陸續(xù)從教堂里出來(lái)，他們靴底的釘子在石板地上敲得叮叮作響。他們走下臺(tái)階，分散到教堂前面的院子里和墓地上。
瑪麗雅姑媽家的糕點(diǎn)師傅，老態(tài)龍鐘，腦袋不斷顫動(dòng)，攔住聶赫留朵夫，同他互吻了三次。糕點(diǎn)師傅的老伴頭上包著一塊絲綢三角巾，頭巾下面有一個(gè)皮膚打皺的小肉團(tuán)。她從手絹里取出一個(gè)黃澄澄的復(fù)活節(jié)蛋，送給聶赫留朵夫。這當(dāng)兒，一個(gè)體格強(qiáng)壯的青年莊稼漢，身穿一件嶄新的緊身外套，腰里束著一條綠色寬腰帶，笑嘻嘻地走過(guò)來(lái)。
“基督復(fù)活了！”他眼睛里含著笑意說(shuō)。他向聶赫留朵夫湊過(guò)臉來(lái)，使他聞到一股莊稼漢身上所特有的好聞氣味，他那鬈曲的大胡子扎得聶赫留朵夫臉上發(fā)癢，接著就用他那寬厚的滋潤(rùn)的嘴唇對(duì)住聶赫留朵夫的嘴唇吻了三次。
就在聶赫留朵夫跟那個(gè)莊稼漢親吻，接受他所送的深棕色復(fù)活節(jié)蛋時(shí)，出現(xiàn)了瑪特廖娜的閃光連衣裙和那個(gè)戴著鮮紅蝴蝶結(jié)的可愛(ài)的烏黑腦袋。
她隔著前面過(guò)路人的頭看見(jiàn)了他，他也看到她容光煥發(fā)的臉。
她跟瑪特廖娜一起走到教堂門(mén)口的臺(tái)階上站住，散錢(qián)給乞丐。一個(gè)鼻子爛得只剩塊紅疤的乞丐走到卡秋莎跟前。她從手絹里取出一樣?xùn)|西送給他，然后向他湊攏去，絲毫沒(méi)有嫌惡的樣子，眼睛里依舊閃耀著快樂(lè)的光輝，同他互吻了三次。正當(dāng)她同乞丐接吻的時(shí)候，她的目光同聶赫留朵夫的目光相遇了。她仿佛在問(wèn)：她這樣做好嗎？做得對(duì)嗎？“對(duì)，對(duì)，寶貝，一切都很好，一切都很美，我喜歡這樣，”
他的眼神這樣回答。
她們走下臺(tái)階，他就走到她跟前。他不想按復(fù)活節(jié)的規(guī)矩同她互吻，只想同她挨得近一點(diǎn)。
“基督復(fù)活了！”①瑪特廖娜說(shuō)。她低下頭，微笑著，那口氣仿佛在說(shuō)：今天大家平等。接著她把手絹揉成一團(tuán)，擦擦嘴，把嘴唇向他湊過(guò)去。
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①按基督教規(guī)矩，復(fù)活節(jié)人們見(jiàn)面都要說(shuō)：“基督復(fù)活了！”對(duì)方必須回答：“真的復(fù)活了！”
“真的復(fù)活了！”聶赫留朵夫回答，同她接吻。
他回頭看了卡秋莎一眼。她飛紅了臉，同時(shí)向他挨過(guò)來(lái)。
“基督復(fù)活了，德米特里·伊凡內(nèi)奇！”
“真的復(fù)活了！”他說(shuō)。他們互吻了兩次，仿佛遲疑了一下，還要不要再吻一次。終于決定再吻一次，他們就吻了第三遍。接著兩人都笑了笑。
“你們不去找司祭嗎？”聶赫留朵夫問(wèn)。
“不，德米特里·伊凡內(nèi)奇，我們要在這里坐一會(huì)兒，”卡秋莎說(shuō)，仿佛在愉快的勞動(dòng)以后用整個(gè)胸部深深地呼吸著，同時(shí)用她那雙溫柔、純潔、熱烈而略帶斜睨的眼睛盯住他的眼睛。
男女之間的愛(ài)情總有達(dá)到頂點(diǎn)的時(shí)刻，在那樣的時(shí)刻既沒(méi)有自覺(jué)和理性的成分，也沒(méi)有肉欲的成分。這個(gè)基督復(fù)活節(jié)的夜晚，對(duì)聶赫留朵夫來(lái)說(shuō)就是這樣的時(shí)刻。如今他每次回想到卡秋莎，這個(gè)夜晚的情景總是蓋過(guò)了他看見(jiàn)她的其余各種情景。那個(gè)頭發(fā)烏黑光滑的小腦袋，那件束住她處女的苗條身材和不高胸部的有皺褶的雪白連衣裙，那個(gè)泛起紅暈的臉蛋，那雙由于不眠而略帶斜睨的烏黑發(fā)亮的眼睛，再有她全身煥發(fā)出來(lái)的特點(diǎn)：她那純潔無(wú)瑕的少女的愛(ài)，不僅對(duì)著他——這一點(diǎn)他知道，——而且對(duì)著世上一切人，一切事物，不僅對(duì)著人間一切美好的事物，而且對(duì)著她剛才吻過(guò)的那個(gè)乞丐。
他知道她心里有這樣的愛(ài)，因?yàn)樗庾R(shí)到，這一夜他通宵達(dá)旦也有這樣的感情，并且知道，正是這種愛(ài)把他同她連結(jié)在一起。
唉，要是他們的關(guān)系能保持在那天夜里的感情上，那該多好！“是的，那件可怕的事是在復(fù)活節(jié)夜晚之后發(fā)生的呀！”
現(xiàn)在聶赫留朵夫坐在陪審員議事室窗前，暗自想著。
For Nekhludoff this early mass remained for ever after one of the brightest and most vivid memories of his life. When he rode out of the darkness, broken only here and there by patches of white snow, into the churchyard illuminated by a row of lamps around the church, the service had already begun.
The peasants, recognising Mary Ivanovna's nephew, led his horse, which was pricking up its cars at the sight of the lights, to a dry place where he could get off, put it up for him, and showed him into the church, which was full of people. On the right stood the peasants; the old men in home-spun coats, and clean white linen bands [long strips of linen are worn by the peasants instead of stockings] wrapped round their legs, the young men in new cloth coats, bright-coloured belts round their waists, and top-boots.
On the left stood the women, with red silk kerchiefs on their heads, black velveteen sleeveless jackets, bright red shirt-sleeves, gay-coloured green, blue, and red skirts, and thick leather boots. The old women, dressed more quietly, stood behind them, with white kerchiefs, homespun coats, old-fashioned skirts of dark home-spun material, and shoes on their feet. Gaily-dressed children, their hair well oiled, went in and out among them.
The men, making the sign of the cross, bowed down and raised their heads again, shaking back their hair.
The women, especially the old ones, fixed their eyes on an icon surrounded with candies and made the sign of the cross, firmly pressing their folded fingers to the kerchief on their foreheads, to their shoulders, and their stomachs, and, whispering something, stooped or knelt down. The children, imitating the grown-up people, prayed earnestly when they knew that they were being observed. The gilt case containing the icon glittered, illuminated on all sides by tall candles ornamented with golden spirals. The candelabra was filled with tapers, and from the choir sounded most merry tunes sung by amateur choristers, with bellowing bass and shrill boys' voices among them.
Nekhludoff passed up to the front. In the middle of the church stood the aristocracy of the place: a landed proprietor, with his wife and son (the latter dressed in a sailor's suit), the police officer, the telegraph clerk, a tradesman in top-boots, and the village elder, with a medal on his breast; and to the right of the ambo, just behind the landed proprietor's wife, stood Matrona Pavlovna in a lilac dress and fringed shawl and Katusha in a white dress with a tucked bodice, blue sash, and red bow in her black hair.
Everything seemed festive, solemn, bright, and beautiful: the priest in his silver cloth vestments with gold crosses; the deacon, the clerk and chanter in their silver and gold surplices; the amateur choristers in their best clothes, with their well-oiled hair; the merry tunes of the holiday hymns that sounded like dance music; and the continual blessing of the people by the priests, who held candles decorated with flowers, and repeated the cry of "Christ is risen!" "Christ is risen!" All was beautiful; but, above all, Katusha, in her white dress, blue sash, and the red bow on her black head, her eyes beaming with rapture.
Nekhludoff knew that she felt his presence without looking at him. He noticed this as he passed her, walking up to the altar. He had nothing to tell her, but he invented something to say and whispered as he passed her: "Aunt told me that she would break her fast after the late mass." The young blood rushed up to Katusha's sweet face, as it always did when she looked at him. The black eyes, laughing and full of joy, gazed naively up and remained fixed on Nekhludoff.
"I know," she said, with a smile.
At this moment the clerk was going out with a copper coffee-pot [coffee-pots are often used for holding holy water in Russia] of holy water in his hand, and, not noticing Katusha, brushed her with his surplice. Evidently he brushed against Katusha through wishing to pass Nekhludoff at a respectful distance, and Nekhludoff was surprised that he, the clerk, did not understand that everything here, yes, and in all the world, only existed for Katusha, and that everything else might remain unheeded, only not she, because she was the centre of all. For her the gold glittered round the icons; for her all these candles in candelabra and candlesticks were alight; for her were sung these joyful hymns, "Behold the Passover of the Lord" "Rejoice, O ye people!" All--all that was good in the world was for her. And it seemed to him that Katusha was aware that it was all for her when he looked at her well-shaped figure, the tucked white dress, the wrapt, joyous expression of her face, by which he knew that just exactly the same that was singing in his own soul was also singing in hers.
In the interval between the early and the late mass Nekhludoff left the church. The people stood aside to let him pass, and bowed. Some knew him; others asked who he was.
He stopped on the steps. The beggars standing there came clamouring round him, and he gave them all the change he had in his purse and went down. It was dawning, but the sun had not yet risen. The people grouped round the graves in the churchyard. Katusha had remained inside. Nekhludoff stood waiting for her.
The people continued coming out, clattering with their nailed boots on the stone steps and dispersing over the churchyard. A very old man with shaking head, his aunts' cook, stopped Nekhludoff in order to give him the Easter kiss, his old wife took an egg, dyed yellow, out of her handkerchief and gave it to Nekhludoff, and a smiling young peasant in a new coat and green belt also came up.
"Christ is risen," he said, with laughing eyes, and coming close to Nekhludoff he enveloped him in his peculiar but pleasant peasant smell, and, tickling him with his curly beard, kissed him three times straight on the mouth with his firm, fresh lips.
While the peasant was kissing Nekhludoff and giving him a dark brown egg, the lilac dress of Matrona Pavlovna and the dear black head with the red bow appeared.
Katusha caught sight of him over the heads of those in front of her, and he saw how her face brightened up.
She had come out with Matrona Pavlovna on to the porch, and stopped there distributing alms to the beggars. A beggar with a red scab in place of a nose came up to Katusha. She gave him something, drew nearer him, and, evincing no sign of disgust, but her eyes still shining with joy, kissed him three times. And while she was doing this her eyes met Nekhludoff's with a look as if she were asking, "Is this that I am doing right?" "Yes, dear, yes, it is right; everything is right, everything is beautiful. I love!"
They came down the steps of the porch, and he came up to them.
He did not mean to give them the Easter kiss, but only to be nearer to her. Matrona Pavlovna bowed her head, and said with a smile, "Christ is risen!" and her tone implied, "To-day we are all equal." She wiped her mouth with her handkerchief rolled into a ball and stretched her lips towards him.
"He is, indeed," answered Nekhludoff, kissing her. Then he looked at Katusha; she blushed, and drew nearer. "Christ is risen, Dmitri Ivanovitch." "He is risen, indeed," answered Nekhludoff, and they kissed twice, then paused as if considering whether a third kiss were necessary, and, having decided that it was, kissed a third time and smiled.
"You are going to the priests?" asked Nekhludoff.
"No, we shall sit out here a bit, Dmitri Ivanovitch," said Katusha with effort, as if she had accomplished some joyous task, and, her whole chest heaving with a deep sigh, she looked straight in his face with a look of devotion, virgin purity, and love, in her very slightly squinting eyes.
In the love between a man and a woman there always comes a moment when this love has reached its zenith--a moment when it is unconscious, unreasoning, and with nothing sensual about it. Such a moment had come for Nekhludoff on that Easter eve. When he brought Katusha back to his mind, now, this moment veiled all else; the smooth glossy black head, the white tucked dress closely fitting her graceful maidenly form, her, as yet, un-developed bosom, the blushing cheeks, the tender shining black eyes with their slight squint heightened by the sleepless night, and her whole being stamped with those two marked features, purity and chaste love, love not only for him (he knew that), but for everybody and everything, not for the good alone, but for all that is in the world, even for that beggar whom she had kissed.
He knew she had that love in her because on that night and morning he was conscious of it in himself, and conscious that in this love he became one with her. Ah! if it had all stopped there, at the point it had reached that night. "Yes, all that horrible business had not yet happened on that Easter eve!" he thought, as he sat by the window of the jurymen's room.
這次晨禱給聶赫留朵夫一輩子留下極其鮮明極其深刻的印象。
通過(guò)稀稀落落散布著幾堆白雪的漆黑道路，他騎馬蹚著水，來(lái)到教堂前的院子里。他的馬看見(jiàn)教堂周?chē)狞c(diǎn)點(diǎn)燈火，豎起耳朵。這時(shí)候，禮拜已開(kāi)始了。
有幾個(gè)農(nóng)民認(rèn)出他是瑪麗雅小姐的侄兒，就領(lǐng)他到干燥的地方下馬，牽過(guò)馬來(lái)掛好，然后把他帶到教堂里。教堂里已擠滿了過(guò)節(jié)的人。
右邊都是莊稼漢：老頭子身穿土布長(zhǎng)袍，腳包白凈的包腳布，外套樹(shù)皮鞋；小伙子身穿嶄新的呢長(zhǎng)袍，腰束色彩鮮艷的闊腰帶，腳登高統(tǒng)皮靴。左邊都是女人，她們頭上包著紅綢巾，身穿棉絨緊身襖，配著大紅衣袖，系著藍(lán)色、綠色、紅色或者花色的裙子，腳上穿著釘上鐵釘?shù)陌虢y(tǒng)靴。老年婦女衣著樸素，站在后面，她們包著白頭巾，身穿灰短襖，系著老式毛織裙子，腳穿平底鞋或者嶄新的樹(shù)皮鞋。人群中還夾雜著孩子，他們打扮得漂漂亮亮，頭發(fā)抹得油光光。農(nóng)民們畫(huà)十字，甩動(dòng)頭發(fā)鞠躬。婦女們，特別是那些上了年紀(jì)的，用她們褪了色的眼睛盯著蠟燭和圣像，用并攏的手指緊緊地按按額上的頭巾、雙肩和腹部，嘴里念念有詞，彎腰站著或者跪下。孩子們看見(jiàn)有人在瞧著他們，就學(xué)大人的樣，一個(gè)勁兒地做禱告。鍍金的圣像壁，被周?chē)椊鸫笙灎T和小蠟燭照得金光閃閃。枝形大燭臺(tái)上插滿了蠟燭，光輝燦爛。從唱詩(shī)班那里傳來(lái)業(yè)余歌手歡樂(lè)的歌聲，其中夾雜著嘶啞的男低音和尖細(xì)的童聲。
聶赫留朵夫向前走去。教堂中央站著上層人物：一個(gè)地主帶著妻子和穿水兵服的兒子，警察分局局長(zhǎng)，電報(bào)員，穿高統(tǒng)皮靴的商人，佩戴獎(jiǎng)?wù)碌泥l(xiāng)長(zhǎng)。在讀經(jīng)臺(tái)右邊，地主太太后面站著瑪特廖娜?，斕亓文壬泶╅W光的紫色連衣裙，披著有流蘇的白色大圍巾?？ㄇ锷驹谒赃?，身穿一件胸前有皺褶的雪白連衣裙，腰里系著一根淺藍(lán)帶子，烏黑的頭發(fā)上扎著一個(gè)鮮紅的蝴蝶結(jié)。
整個(gè)教堂里都洋溢著喜悅、莊嚴(yán)、歡樂(lè)和美好的氣氛。司祭們穿著銀光閃閃的法衣，掛著金十字架。助祭和誦經(jīng)士穿著有金銀絲絳裝飾的祭服。業(yè)余歌手們也都穿著節(jié)日的盛裝，頭發(fā)擦得油光閃亮。節(jié)日的贊美詩(shī)聽(tīng)上去象歡樂(lè)的舞曲。司祭們高舉插有三支蠟燭、飾有花卉的燭臺(tái)，不停地為人們祝福，嘴里反復(fù)歡呼：“基督復(fù)活了！基督復(fù)活了！”一切都很美麗，但最美麗的卻是那穿著雪白連衣裙、系著淺藍(lán)腰帶、烏黑的頭發(fā)上扎著鮮紅蝴蝶結(jié)、眼睛閃耀著快樂(lè)光芒的卡秋莎。
聶赫留朵夫發(fā)覺(jué)她雖然沒(méi)有回過(guò)頭來(lái)，卻看見(jiàn)了他。他是在走向祭壇，經(jīng)過(guò)她身邊時(shí)注意到的。他對(duì)她本沒(méi)有什么話要說(shuō)，但就在經(jīng)過(guò)她身邊時(shí)想出了一句：
“姑媽說(shuō)，做完晚彌撒她就開(kāi)齋。”
就象每次見(jiàn)到他那樣，她那可愛(ài)的臉蛋上泛起了青春的紅暈，烏黑的眼睛閃耀著笑意和歡樂(lè)，她天真爛漫地從腳到頭瞅著聶赫留朵夫。
“我知道，”她笑瞇瞇地說(shuō)。
這當(dāng)兒，一個(gè)誦經(jīng)士手里拿著一把銅咖啡壺，穿過(guò)人群，在經(jīng)過(guò)卡秋莎身邊時(shí)沒(méi)有留神，他的祭服下擺觸到了卡秋莎。那誦經(jīng)士顯然是由于尊敬聶赫留朵夫，有意從他旁邊繞過(guò)去，結(jié)果卻觸到了卡秋莎。聶赫留朵夫心里奇怪，那個(gè)誦經(jīng)士怎么會(huì)不明白，這里的一切，連全世界的一切，都是為卡秋莎一人而存在的，他可以忽視世間萬(wàn)物，但不能怠慢卡秋莎，因?yàn)樗褪鞘澜绲闹行摹榱怂?，圣像壁才金光閃閃，燭臺(tái)上的蠟燭才歡樂(lè)地燃燒；為了她，人們才高歌歡唱，“耶穌復(fù)活了，人們啊，歡樂(lè)吧！”世上一切美好的東西都是為她，為她一人而存在的。他認(rèn)為卡秋莎也懂得，一切都是為了她。聶赫留朵夫注視著她那穿帶皺褶雪白連衣裙的苗條身材，注視著她那張聚精會(huì)神的喜氣洋洋的臉，心里有這樣的感覺(jué)。他還從她臉部的表情上看出，她心里所唱的和他心里所唱的是同一首歌。
聶赫留朵夫在早彌撒和晚彌撒之間那個(gè)時(shí)刻走出教堂。人們紛紛給他讓路，向他鞠躬。有人認(rèn)識(shí)他，有人卻問(wèn)：“他是誰(shuí)家的？”他在教堂門(mén)前的臺(tái)階上停住腳步。乞丐們把他團(tuán)團(tuán)圍住。他把錢(qián)包里的零錢(qián)都分給他們，這才走下臺(tái)階。
天已經(jīng)亮了，四下里一切都看得清楚，但太陽(yáng)還沒(méi)有升起。人們分散在教堂周?chē)哪沟厣?。卡秋莎留在教堂里。聶赫留朵夫站在門(mén)口等她。
人們陸續(xù)從教堂里出來(lái)，他們靴底的釘子在石板地上敲得叮叮作響。他們走下臺(tái)階，分散到教堂前面的院子里和墓地上。
瑪麗雅姑媽家的糕點(diǎn)師傅，老態(tài)龍鐘，腦袋不斷顫動(dòng)，攔住聶赫留朵夫，同他互吻了三次。糕點(diǎn)師傅的老伴頭上包著一塊絲綢三角巾，頭巾下面有一個(gè)皮膚打皺的小肉團(tuán)。她從手絹里取出一個(gè)黃澄澄的復(fù)活節(jié)蛋，送給聶赫留朵夫。這當(dāng)兒，一個(gè)體格強(qiáng)壯的青年莊稼漢，身穿一件嶄新的緊身外套，腰里束著一條綠色寬腰帶，笑嘻嘻地走過(guò)來(lái)。
“基督復(fù)活了！”他眼睛里含著笑意說(shuō)。他向聶赫留朵夫湊過(guò)臉來(lái)，使他聞到一股莊稼漢身上所特有的好聞氣味，他那鬈曲的大胡子扎得聶赫留朵夫臉上發(fā)癢，接著就用他那寬厚的滋潤(rùn)的嘴唇對(duì)住聶赫留朵夫的嘴唇吻了三次。
就在聶赫留朵夫跟那個(gè)莊稼漢親吻，接受他所送的深棕色復(fù)活節(jié)蛋時(shí)，出現(xiàn)了瑪特廖娜的閃光連衣裙和那個(gè)戴著鮮紅蝴蝶結(jié)的可愛(ài)的烏黑腦袋。
她隔著前面過(guò)路人的頭看見(jiàn)了他，他也看到她容光煥發(fā)的臉。
她跟瑪特廖娜一起走到教堂門(mén)口的臺(tái)階上站住，散錢(qián)給乞丐。一個(gè)鼻子爛得只剩塊紅疤的乞丐走到卡秋莎跟前。她從手絹里取出一樣?xùn)|西送給他，然后向他湊攏去，絲毫沒(méi)有嫌惡的樣子，眼睛里依舊閃耀著快樂(lè)的光輝，同他互吻了三次。正當(dāng)她同乞丐接吻的時(shí)候，她的目光同聶赫留朵夫的目光相遇了。她仿佛在問(wèn)：她這樣做好嗎？做得對(duì)嗎？“對(duì)，對(duì)，寶貝，一切都很好，一切都很美，我喜歡這樣，”
他的眼神這樣回答。
她們走下臺(tái)階，他就走到她跟前。他不想按復(fù)活節(jié)的規(guī)矩同她互吻，只想同她挨得近一點(diǎn)。
“基督復(fù)活了！”①瑪特廖娜說(shuō)。她低下頭，微笑著，那口氣仿佛在說(shuō)：今天大家平等。接著她把手絹揉成一團(tuán)，擦擦嘴，把嘴唇向他湊過(guò)去。
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①按基督教規(guī)矩，復(fù)活節(jié)人們見(jiàn)面都要說(shuō)：“基督復(fù)活了！”對(duì)方必須回答：“真的復(fù)活了！”
“真的復(fù)活了！”聶赫留朵夫回答，同她接吻。
他回頭看了卡秋莎一眼。她飛紅了臉，同時(shí)向他挨過(guò)來(lái)。
“基督復(fù)活了，德米特里·伊凡內(nèi)奇！”
“真的復(fù)活了！”他說(shuō)。他們互吻了兩次，仿佛遲疑了一下，還要不要再吻一次。終于決定再吻一次，他們就吻了第三遍。接著兩人都笑了笑。
“你們不去找司祭嗎？”聶赫留朵夫問(wèn)。
“不，德米特里·伊凡內(nèi)奇，我們要在這里坐一會(huì)兒，”卡秋莎說(shuō)，仿佛在愉快的勞動(dòng)以后用整個(gè)胸部深深地呼吸著，同時(shí)用她那雙溫柔、純潔、熱烈而略帶斜睨的眼睛盯住他的眼睛。
男女之間的愛(ài)情總有達(dá)到頂點(diǎn)的時(shí)刻，在那樣的時(shí)刻既沒(méi)有自覺(jué)和理性的成分，也沒(méi)有肉欲的成分。這個(gè)基督復(fù)活節(jié)的夜晚，對(duì)聶赫留朵夫來(lái)說(shuō)就是這樣的時(shí)刻。如今他每次回想到卡秋莎，這個(gè)夜晚的情景總是蓋過(guò)了他看見(jiàn)她的其余各種情景。那個(gè)頭發(fā)烏黑光滑的小腦袋，那件束住她處女的苗條身材和不高胸部的有皺褶的雪白連衣裙，那個(gè)泛起紅暈的臉蛋，那雙由于不眠而略帶斜睨的烏黑發(fā)亮的眼睛，再有她全身煥發(fā)出來(lái)的特點(diǎn)：她那純潔無(wú)瑕的少女的愛(ài)，不僅對(duì)著他——這一點(diǎn)他知道，——而且對(duì)著世上一切人，一切事物，不僅對(duì)著人間一切美好的事物，而且對(duì)著她剛才吻過(guò)的那個(gè)乞丐。
他知道她心里有這樣的愛(ài)，因?yàn)樗庾R(shí)到，這一夜他通宵達(dá)旦也有這樣的感情，并且知道，正是這種愛(ài)把他同她連結(jié)在一起。
唉，要是他們的關(guān)系能保持在那天夜里的感情上，那該多好！“是的，那件可怕的事是在復(fù)活節(jié)夜晚之后發(fā)生的呀！”
現(xiàn)在聶赫留朵夫坐在陪審員議事室窗前，暗自想著。