MISSY.
When Nekhludoff had finished his coffee, he went to his study to look at the summons, and find out what time he was to appear at the court, before writing his answer to the princess. Passing through his studio, where a few studies hung on the walls and, facing the easel, stood an unfinished picture, a feeling of inability to advance in art, a sense of his incapacity, came over him. He had often had this feeling, of late, and explained it by his too finely-developed aesthetic taste; still, the feeling was a very unpleasant one. Seven years before this he had given up military service, feeling sure that he had a talent for art, and had looked down with some disdain at all other activity from the height of his artistic standpoint. And now it turned out that he had no right to do so, and therefore everything that reminded him of all this was unpleasant. He looked at the luxurious fittings of the studio with a heavy heart, and it was in no cheerful mood that he entered his study, a large, lofty room fitted up with a view to comfort, convenience, and elegant appearance. He found the summons at once in a pigeon hole, labelled "immediate," of his large writing table. He had to appear at the court at 11 o'clock.
Nekhludoff sat down to write a note in reply to the princess, thanking her for the invitation, and promising to try and come to dinner. Having written one note, he tore it up, as it seemed too intimate. He wrote another, but it was too cold; he feared it might give offence, so he tore it up, too. He pressed the button of an electric bell, and his servant, an elderly, morose-looking man, with whiskers and shaved chin and lip, wearing a grey cotton apron, entered at the door.
"Send to fetch an isvostchik, please."
"Yes, sir."
"And tell the person who is waiting that I send thanks for the invitation, and shall try to come."
"Yes, sir."
"It is not very polite, but I can't write; no matter, I shall see her today," thought Nekhludoff, and went to get his overcoat.
When he came out of the house, an isvostchik he knew, with india-rubber tires to his trap, was at the door waiting for him. "You had hardly gone away from Prince Korchagin's yesterday," he said, turning half round, "when I drove up, and the Swiss at the door says, 'just gone.'" The isvostchik knew that Nekhludoff visited at the Korchagins, and called there on the chance of being engaged by him.
"Even the isvostchiks know of my relations with the Korchagins," thought Nekhludoff, and again the question whether he should not marry Princess Korchagin presented itself to him, and he could not decide it either way, any more than most of the questions that arose in his mind at this time.
It was in favour of marriage in general, that besides the comforts of hearth and home, it made a moral life possible, and chiefly that a family would, so Nekhludoff thought, give an aim to his now empty life.
Against marriage in general was the fear, common to bachelors past their first youth, of losing freedom, and an unconscious awe before this mysterious creature, a woman.
In this particular case, in favour of marrying Missy (her name was Mary, but, as is usual among a certain set, a nickname had been given her) was that she came of good family, and differed in everything, manner of speaking, walking, laughing, from the common people, not by anything exceptional, but by her "good breeding"--he could find no other term for this quality, though he prized it very highly---and, besides, she thought more of him than of anybody else, therefore evidently understood him. This understanding of him, i.e., the recognition of his superior merits, was to Nekhludoff a proof of her good sense and correct judgment. Against marrying Missy in particular, was, that in all likelihood, a girl with even higher qualities could be found, that she was already 27, and that he was hardly her first love. This last idea was painful to him. His pride would not reconcile itself with the thought that she had loved some one else, even in the past. Of course, she could not have known that she should meet him, but the thought that she was capable of loving another offended him. So that he had as many reasons for marrying as against it; at any rate, they weighed equally with Nekhludoff, who laughed at himself, and called himself the ass of the fable, remaining like that animal undecided which haycock to turn to.
"At any rate, before I get an answer from Mary Vasilievna (the marechal's wife), and finish completely with her, I can do nothing," he said to himself. And the conviction that he might, and was even obliged, to delay his decision, was comforting. "Well, I shall consider all that later on," he said to himself, as the trap drove silently along the asphalt pavement up to the doors of the Court.
"Now I must fulfil my public duties conscientiously, as I am in the habit of always doing, and as I consider it right to do. Besides, they are often interesting." And he entered the hall of the Law Courts, past the doorkeeper.
聶赫留朵夫喝完咖啡，到書房查看法院通知，應該幾點鐘出庭，再給公爵小姐寫回信。去書房就得經過畫室。畫室里放著一個畫架，架上反放著一幅開了頭的畫稿，墻上掛著幾張習作?？吹竭@幅他花了兩年功夫畫的畫稿，看到那些習作和整個畫室，他又一次深切地感到，他的繪畫水平已無法再提高了。這種心情是他近來常有的。他認為這是由于審美觀過分高雅的緣故，但不管怎樣，總是不愉快的。
七年前，他斷定自己有繪畫天才，就辭去軍職。他把藝術創(chuàng)作看得高于一切，瞧不起其他活動?，F(xiàn)在事實證明他無權妄自尊大。因此一想到這事就不愉快。他心情沉重地瞧瞧畫室里豪華的設備，悶悶不樂地走進書房。書房又高又大，里面有各種裝飾、用品和舒適的家具。
聶赫留朵夫立刻在大寫字臺標明“急事”的抽屜里找到那份通知，知道必須在十一時出庭。接著他坐下來給公爵小姐寫信，感謝她的邀請，并表示將盡量趕去吃飯。但他寫完后就把信撕掉，覺得口氣太親熱。他重新寫了一封，卻又覺得太冷淡，人家看了會生氣。他又把信撕掉，然后按了按電鈴。一個臉色陰沉的老仆人，留著絡腮胡子，嘴唇和下巴刮得光光的，腰系灰細布圍裙，走了進來。
“請您派人去雇一輛馬車來?！?BR> “是，老爺。”
“再對柯察金家來的人說一聲，謝謝他們東家，我會盡量趕到的?！?BR> “是?！?BR> “這樣有點失禮，可是我寫不成。反正今天我要同她見面的，”聶赫留朵夫心里想著，離開書房去換衣服。
他換好衣服，走到大門口，那個熟識的車夫駕著橡膠輪馬車已在那里等著他了。
“昨天您剛離開柯察金家，我就到了，”車夫把他那套在白襯衫領子里的黧黑強壯的脖子半扭過來，說，“看門的說，您老爺才走?！?BR> “連馬車夫都知道我同柯察金家的關系，”聶赫留朵夫想，又考慮起近來經常盤據在他頭腦里的問題：該不該同柯察金小姐結婚。這個問題也象當前他遇到的許多問題一樣，怎么也無法解決。
聶赫留朵夫想結婚的原因是，第一，除了獲得家庭的溫暖外，還可以避免不正常的兩性關系，過合乎道德的生活；第二，也是主要的原因，他希望家庭和孩子能充實他目前這種空虛的生活。他想結婚無非就是這些原因。不想結婚的原因是，第一，唯恐喪失自由，凡是年紀不輕的單身漢都有這樣的顧慮；第二，對女人這種神秘的生物抱著一種莫名的恐懼。
他愿意同米西（柯察金小姐的本名是馬利亞，如同他們這種圈子里所有的家庭一樣，她有一個別名）結婚還有一些特殊原因，那就是，第一，她出身名門，衣著、談吐、步態(tài)、笑容，處處與眾不同，她給人的印象不是別的，而是“教養(yǎng)有素”——他再也想不出更適當?shù)男稳菰~，并且很重視這種品質；第二，她認為他是個出類拔萃的人物，因此他認為只有她才了解他。對他的這種了解，也就是對他崇高品格的肯定，聶赫留朵夫認為這足以證明她聰明穎悟，獨具慧眼。不想同米西結婚的特殊原因是，第一，他很可能找到比米西好得多因而同他更相配的姑娘；第二，她今年已二十七歲，因此以前一定談過戀愛。這個想法使聶赫留朵夫感到很不是滋味。他的自尊心使他無法忍受這種情況，哪怕這已是往事。當然她以前不可能知道她日后會遇見他，但是一想到她可能愛過別人，他還是感到屈辱。
這樣，想結婚和不想結婚，都有理由，二者勢均力敵，不相上下，因此聶赫留朵夫嘲笑自己是布里丹的驢子①。他始終拿不定主意，不知道該選哪一捆干草好。
--------
①法國十四世紀哲學家布里丹寫有一個寓言，說一匹驢子看到兩捆干草，外形和質量完全一樣，它猶豫不決，不知道選哪一捆好，結果餓死。
“反正還沒有收到瑪麗雅（首席貴族的妻子）的回信，那事還沒有完全結束，我還不能采取任何行動，”他自言自語。
想到他可以而且不得不推遲作出決定，他感到高興。
“不過，這些事以后再考慮吧，”當他的輕便馬車悄悄地來到法院門口的柏油馬路上時，他這樣想。
“現(xiàn)在我得照例忠實履行我的社會職責，我應該這樣做。再說，這種事多半都挺有意思，”他心里想著，從看門人旁邊走過，進入法院的門廊。
When Nekhludoff had finished his coffee, he went to his study to look at the summons, and find out what time he was to appear at the court, before writing his answer to the princess. Passing through his studio, where a few studies hung on the walls and, facing the easel, stood an unfinished picture, a feeling of inability to advance in art, a sense of his incapacity, came over him. He had often had this feeling, of late, and explained it by his too finely-developed aesthetic taste; still, the feeling was a very unpleasant one. Seven years before this he had given up military service, feeling sure that he had a talent for art, and had looked down with some disdain at all other activity from the height of his artistic standpoint. And now it turned out that he had no right to do so, and therefore everything that reminded him of all this was unpleasant. He looked at the luxurious fittings of the studio with a heavy heart, and it was in no cheerful mood that he entered his study, a large, lofty room fitted up with a view to comfort, convenience, and elegant appearance. He found the summons at once in a pigeon hole, labelled "immediate," of his large writing table. He had to appear at the court at 11 o'clock.
Nekhludoff sat down to write a note in reply to the princess, thanking her for the invitation, and promising to try and come to dinner. Having written one note, he tore it up, as it seemed too intimate. He wrote another, but it was too cold; he feared it might give offence, so he tore it up, too. He pressed the button of an electric bell, and his servant, an elderly, morose-looking man, with whiskers and shaved chin and lip, wearing a grey cotton apron, entered at the door.
"Send to fetch an isvostchik, please."
"Yes, sir."
"And tell the person who is waiting that I send thanks for the invitation, and shall try to come."
"Yes, sir."
"It is not very polite, but I can't write; no matter, I shall see her today," thought Nekhludoff, and went to get his overcoat.
When he came out of the house, an isvostchik he knew, with india-rubber tires to his trap, was at the door waiting for him. "You had hardly gone away from Prince Korchagin's yesterday," he said, turning half round, "when I drove up, and the Swiss at the door says, 'just gone.'" The isvostchik knew that Nekhludoff visited at the Korchagins, and called there on the chance of being engaged by him.
"Even the isvostchiks know of my relations with the Korchagins," thought Nekhludoff, and again the question whether he should not marry Princess Korchagin presented itself to him, and he could not decide it either way, any more than most of the questions that arose in his mind at this time.
It was in favour of marriage in general, that besides the comforts of hearth and home, it made a moral life possible, and chiefly that a family would, so Nekhludoff thought, give an aim to his now empty life.
Against marriage in general was the fear, common to bachelors past their first youth, of losing freedom, and an unconscious awe before this mysterious creature, a woman.
In this particular case, in favour of marrying Missy (her name was Mary, but, as is usual among a certain set, a nickname had been given her) was that she came of good family, and differed in everything, manner of speaking, walking, laughing, from the common people, not by anything exceptional, but by her "good breeding"--he could find no other term for this quality, though he prized it very highly---and, besides, she thought more of him than of anybody else, therefore evidently understood him. This understanding of him, i.e., the recognition of his superior merits, was to Nekhludoff a proof of her good sense and correct judgment. Against marrying Missy in particular, was, that in all likelihood, a girl with even higher qualities could be found, that she was already 27, and that he was hardly her first love. This last idea was painful to him. His pride would not reconcile itself with the thought that she had loved some one else, even in the past. Of course, she could not have known that she should meet him, but the thought that she was capable of loving another offended him. So that he had as many reasons for marrying as against it; at any rate, they weighed equally with Nekhludoff, who laughed at himself, and called himself the ass of the fable, remaining like that animal undecided which haycock to turn to.
"At any rate, before I get an answer from Mary Vasilievna (the marechal's wife), and finish completely with her, I can do nothing," he said to himself. And the conviction that he might, and was even obliged, to delay his decision, was comforting. "Well, I shall consider all that later on," he said to himself, as the trap drove silently along the asphalt pavement up to the doors of the Court.
"Now I must fulfil my public duties conscientiously, as I am in the habit of always doing, and as I consider it right to do. Besides, they are often interesting." And he entered the hall of the Law Courts, past the doorkeeper.
聶赫留朵夫喝完咖啡，到書房查看法院通知，應該幾點鐘出庭，再給公爵小姐寫回信。去書房就得經過畫室。畫室里放著一個畫架，架上反放著一幅開了頭的畫稿，墻上掛著幾張習作?？吹竭@幅他花了兩年功夫畫的畫稿，看到那些習作和整個畫室，他又一次深切地感到，他的繪畫水平已無法再提高了。這種心情是他近來常有的。他認為這是由于審美觀過分高雅的緣故，但不管怎樣，總是不愉快的。
七年前，他斷定自己有繪畫天才，就辭去軍職。他把藝術創(chuàng)作看得高于一切，瞧不起其他活動?，F(xiàn)在事實證明他無權妄自尊大。因此一想到這事就不愉快。他心情沉重地瞧瞧畫室里豪華的設備，悶悶不樂地走進書房。書房又高又大，里面有各種裝飾、用品和舒適的家具。
聶赫留朵夫立刻在大寫字臺標明“急事”的抽屜里找到那份通知，知道必須在十一時出庭。接著他坐下來給公爵小姐寫信，感謝她的邀請，并表示將盡量趕去吃飯。但他寫完后就把信撕掉，覺得口氣太親熱。他重新寫了一封，卻又覺得太冷淡，人家看了會生氣。他又把信撕掉，然后按了按電鈴。一個臉色陰沉的老仆人，留著絡腮胡子，嘴唇和下巴刮得光光的，腰系灰細布圍裙，走了進來。
“請您派人去雇一輛馬車來?！?BR> “是，老爺。”
“再對柯察金家來的人說一聲，謝謝他們東家，我會盡量趕到的?！?BR> “是?！?BR> “這樣有點失禮，可是我寫不成。反正今天我要同她見面的，”聶赫留朵夫心里想著，離開書房去換衣服。
他換好衣服，走到大門口，那個熟識的車夫駕著橡膠輪馬車已在那里等著他了。
“昨天您剛離開柯察金家，我就到了，”車夫把他那套在白襯衫領子里的黧黑強壯的脖子半扭過來，說，“看門的說，您老爺才走?！?BR> “連馬車夫都知道我同柯察金家的關系，”聶赫留朵夫想，又考慮起近來經常盤據在他頭腦里的問題：該不該同柯察金小姐結婚。這個問題也象當前他遇到的許多問題一樣，怎么也無法解決。
聶赫留朵夫想結婚的原因是，第一，除了獲得家庭的溫暖外，還可以避免不正常的兩性關系，過合乎道德的生活；第二，也是主要的原因，他希望家庭和孩子能充實他目前這種空虛的生活。他想結婚無非就是這些原因。不想結婚的原因是，第一，唯恐喪失自由，凡是年紀不輕的單身漢都有這樣的顧慮；第二，對女人這種神秘的生物抱著一種莫名的恐懼。
他愿意同米西（柯察金小姐的本名是馬利亞，如同他們這種圈子里所有的家庭一樣，她有一個別名）結婚還有一些特殊原因，那就是，第一，她出身名門，衣著、談吐、步態(tài)、笑容，處處與眾不同，她給人的印象不是別的，而是“教養(yǎng)有素”——他再也想不出更適當?shù)男稳菰~，并且很重視這種品質；第二，她認為他是個出類拔萃的人物，因此他認為只有她才了解他。對他的這種了解，也就是對他崇高品格的肯定，聶赫留朵夫認為這足以證明她聰明穎悟，獨具慧眼。不想同米西結婚的特殊原因是，第一，他很可能找到比米西好得多因而同他更相配的姑娘；第二，她今年已二十七歲，因此以前一定談過戀愛。這個想法使聶赫留朵夫感到很不是滋味。他的自尊心使他無法忍受這種情況，哪怕這已是往事。當然她以前不可能知道她日后會遇見他，但是一想到她可能愛過別人，他還是感到屈辱。
這樣，想結婚和不想結婚，都有理由，二者勢均力敵，不相上下，因此聶赫留朵夫嘲笑自己是布里丹的驢子①。他始終拿不定主意，不知道該選哪一捆干草好。
--------
①法國十四世紀哲學家布里丹寫有一個寓言，說一匹驢子看到兩捆干草，外形和質量完全一樣，它猶豫不決，不知道選哪一捆好，結果餓死。
“反正還沒有收到瑪麗雅（首席貴族的妻子）的回信，那事還沒有完全結束，我還不能采取任何行動，”他自言自語。
想到他可以而且不得不推遲作出決定，他感到高興。
“不過，這些事以后再考慮吧，”當他的輕便馬車悄悄地來到法院門口的柏油馬路上時，他這樣想。
“現(xiàn)在我得照例忠實履行我的社會職責，我應該這樣做。再說，這種事多半都挺有意思，”他心里想著，從看門人旁邊走過，進入法院的門廊。