MASLOVA IN PRISON.
Though hundreds of thousands had done their very best to disfigure the small piece of land on which they were crowded together, by paying the ground with stones, scraping away every vestige of vegetation, cutting down the trees, turning away birds and beasts, and filling the air with the smoke of naphtha and coal, still spring was spring, even in the town.
The sun shone warm, the air was balmy; everywhere, where it did not get scraped away, the grass revived and sprang up between the paving-stones as well as on the narrow strips of lawn on the boulevards. The birches, the poplars, and the wild cherry unfolded their gummy and fragrant leaves, the limes were expanding their opening buds; crows, sparrows, and pigeons, filled with the joy of spring, were getting their nests ready; the flies were buzzing along the walls, warmed by the sunshine. All were glad, the plants, the birds, the insects, and the children. But men, grown-up men and women, did not leave off cheating and tormenting themselves and each other. It was not this spring morning men thought sacred and worthy of consideration not the beauty of God's world, given for a joy to all creatures, this beauty which inclines the heart to peace, to harmony, and to love, but only their own devices for enslaving one another.
Thus, in the prison office of the Government town, it was not the fact that men and animals had received the grace and gladness of spring that was considered sacred and important, but that a notice, numbered and with a superscription, had come the day before, ordering that on this 28th day of April, at 9 a.m., three prisoners at present detained in the prison, a man and two women (one of these women, as the chief criminal, to be conducted separately), had to appear at Court. So now, on the 28th of April, at 8 o'clock, a jailer and soon after him a woman warder with curly grey hair, dressed in a jacket with sleeves trimmed with gold, with a blue-edged belt round her waist, and having a look of suffering on her face, came into the corridor.
"You want Maslova?" she asked, coming up to the cell with the jailer who was on duty.
The jailer, rattling the iron padlock, opened the door of the cell, from which there came a whiff of air fouler even than that in the corridor, and called out, "Maslova! to the Court," and closed the door again.
Even into the prison yard the breeze had brought the fresh vivifying air from the fields. But in the corridor the air was laden with the germs of typhoid, the smell of sewage, putrefaction, and tar; every newcomer felt sad and dejected in it. The woman warder felt this, though she was used to bad air. She had just come in from outside, and entering the corridor, she at once became sleepy.
From inside the cell came the sound of bustle and women's voices, and the patter of bare feet on the floor.
"Now, then, hurry up, Maslova, I say!" called out the jailer, and in a minute or two a small young woman with a very full bust came briskly out of the door and went up to the jailer. She had on a grey cloak over a white jacket and petticoat. On her feet she wore linen stockings and prison shoes, and round her head was tied a white kerchief, from under which a few locks of black hair were brushed over the forehead with evident intent. The face of the woman was of that whiteness peculiar to people who have lived long in confinement, and which puts one in mind of shoots of potatoes that spring up in a cellar. Her small broad hands and full neck, which showed from under the broad collar of her cloak, were of the same hue. Her black, sparkling eyes, one with a slight squint, appeared in striking contrast to the dull pallor of her face.
She carried herself very straight, expanding her full bosom.
With her head slightly thrown back, she stood in the corridor, looking straight into the eyes of the jailer, ready to comply with any order.
The jailer was about to lock the door when a wrinkled and severe-looking old woman put out her grey head and began speaking to Maslova. But the jailer closed the door, pushing the old woman's head with it. A woman's laughter was heard from the cell, and Maslova smiled, turning to the little grated opening in the cell door. The old woman pressed her face to the grating from the other side, and said, in a hoarse voice:
"Now mind, and when they begin questioning you, just repeat over the same thing, and stick to it; tell nothing that is not wanted."
"Well, it could not be worse than it is now, anyhow; I only wish it was settled one way or another."
"Of course, it will be settled one way or another," said the jailer, with a superior's self-assured witticism. "Now, then, get along! Take your places!"
The old woman's eyes vanished from the grating, and Maslova stepped out into the middle of the corridor. The warder in front, they descended the stone stairs, past the still fouler, noisy cells of the men's ward, where they were followed by eyes looking out of every one of the gratings in the doors, and entered the office, where two soldiers were waiting to escort her. A clerk who was sitting there gave one of the soldiers a paper reeking of tobacco, and pointing to the prisoner, remarked, "Take her."
The soldier, a peasant from Nijni Novgorod, with a red, pock-marked face, put the paper into the sleeve of his coat, winked to his companion, a broad-shouldered Tchouvash, and then the prisoner and the soldiers went to the front entrance, out of the prison yard, and through the town up the middle of the roughly-paved street.
Isvostchiks [cabmen], tradespeople, cooks, workmen, and government clerks, stopped and looked curiously at the prisoner; some shook their heads and thought, "This is what evil conduct, conduct unlike ours, leads to." The children stopped and gazed at the robber with frightened looks; but the thought that the soldiers were preventing her from doing more harm quieted their fears. A peasant, who had sold his charcoal, and had had some tea in the town, came up, and, after crossing himself, gave her a copeck. The prisoner blushed and muttered something; she noticed that she was attracting everybody's attention, and that pleased her. The comparatively fresh air also gladdened her, but it was painful to step on the rough stones with the ill-made prison shoes on her feet, which had become unused to walking. Passing by a corn-dealer's shop, in front of which a few pigeons were strutting about, unmolested by any one, the prisoner almost touched a grey-blue bird with her foot; it fluttered up and flew close to her car, fanning her with its wings. She smiled, then sighed deeply as she remembered her present position.
盡管好幾十萬人聚居在一小塊地方，竭力把土地糟蹋得面目全非，盡管他們肆意把石頭砸進地里，不讓花草樹木生長，盡管他們除盡剛出土的小草，把煤炭和石油燒得煙霧騰騰，盡管他們?yōu)E伐樹木，驅(qū)逐鳥獸，在城市里，春天畢竟還是春天。陽光和煦，青草又到處生長，不僅在林蔭道上，而且在石板縫里。凡是青草沒有鋤盡的地方，都一片翠綠，生意盎然。樺樹、楊樹和稠李紛紛抽出芬芳的粘稠嫩葉，菩提樹上鼓起一個個脹裂的新芽。寒鴉、麻雀和鴿子感到春天已經(jīng)來臨，都在歡樂地筑巢。就連蒼蠅都被陽光照暖，夜墻腳下嚶嚶嗡嗡地騷動?；ú輼淠疽埠?，鳥雀昆蟲也好，兒童也好，全都歡歡喜喜，生氣蓬勃。唯獨人，唯獨成年人，卻一直在自欺欺人，折磨自己，也折磨別人。他們認為神圣而重要的，不是這春色迷人的早晨，不是上帝為造福眾生所創(chuàng)造的人間的美，那種使萬物趨向和平、協(xié)調(diào)、互愛的美；他們認為神圣而重要的，是他們自己發(fā)明的統(tǒng)治別人的種種手段。
就因為這個緣故，省監(jiān)獄辦公室官員認為神圣而重要的，不是飛禽走獸和男女老幼都在享受的春色和歡樂，他們認為神圣而重要的，是昨天接到的那份編號蓋印、寫明案由的公文。公文指定今天，四月二十八日，上午九時以前把三名受過偵訊的在押犯，一男兩女，解送法院受審。其中一名女的是主犯，須單獨押解送審。由于接到這張傳票，今晨八時監(jiān)獄看守長走進又暗又臭的女監(jiān)走廊。他后面跟著一個面容憔悴、鬈發(fā)花白的女人，身穿袖口鑲金絳的制服，腰束一根藍邊帶子。這是女看守。
“您是要瑪絲洛娃吧？”她同值班的看守來到一間直通走廊的牢房門口，問看守長說。
值班的看守哐啷一聲開了鐵鎖，打開牢門，一股比走廊里更難聞的惡臭立即從里面沖了出來?？词剡汉鹊溃?BR> “瑪絲洛娃，過堂去！”隨即又帶上牢門，等待著。
監(jiān)獄院子里，空氣就比較新鮮爽快些，那是從田野上吹來的。但監(jiān)獄走廊里卻彌漫著令人作嘔的污濁空氣，里面充滿傷寒菌以及糞便、煤焦油和霉爛物品的臭味，不論誰一進來都會感到郁悶和沮喪。女看守雖已聞慣這種污濁空氣，但從院子里一進來，也免不了有這樣的感覺。她一進走廊，就覺得渾身無力，昏昏欲睡。
牢房里傳出女人的說話聲和光腳板的走路聲。
“喂，瑪絲洛娃，快點兒，別磨磨蹭蹭的，聽見沒有！”看守長對著牢門喝道。
過了兩分鐘光景，一個個兒不高、胸部豐滿的年輕女人，身穿白衣白裙，外面套著一件灰色囚袍，大踏步走出牢房，敏捷地轉(zhuǎn)過身子，在看守長旁邊站住。這個女人腳穿麻布襪，外套囚犯穿的棉鞋，頭上扎著一塊白頭巾，顯然有意讓幾綹烏黑的鬈發(fā)從頭巾里露出來。她的臉色異常蒼白，仿佛儲存在地窖里的土豆的新芽。那是長期坐牢的人的通病。她那雙短而闊的手和從囚袍寬大領(lǐng)口里露出來的豐滿脖子，也是那樣蒼白。她那雙眼睛，在蒼白無光的臉龐襯托下，顯得格外烏黑發(fā)亮，雖然有點浮腫，但十分靈活。其中一只眼睛稍微有點斜視。她挺直身子站著，豐滿的胸部高高地隆起。她來到走廊里，微微仰起頭，盯住看守長的眼睛，現(xiàn)出一副唯命是從的樣子?？词亻L剛要關(guān)門，一個沒戴頭巾的白發(fā)老太婆，從牢房里探出她那張嚴厲、蒼白而滿是皺紋的臉來。老太婆對瑪絲洛娃說了幾句話?？词亻L就對著老太婆的腦袋推上牢門，把她們隔開了。牢房里響起了女人的哄笑聲?，斀z洛娃也微微一笑，向牢門上裝有鐵柵的小窗洞轉(zhuǎn)過臉去。老太婆在里面湊近窗洞，啞著嗓子說：
“千萬別跟他們多羅唆，咬定了別改日，就行了?！?BR> “只要有個結(jié)局就行，不會比現(xiàn)在更糟的，”瑪絲洛娃晃了晃腦袋，說。
“結(jié)局當然只有一個，不會有兩個，”看守長煞有介事地擺出長官的架勢說，顯然自以為說得很俏皮?！案襾?，走！”
老太婆的眼睛從窗洞里消失了?，斀z洛娃來到走廊中間，跟在看守長后面，急步走著。他們走下石樓梯，經(jīng)過比女監(jiān)更臭更鬧、每個窗洞里都有眼睛盯著他們的男監(jiān)，走進辦公室。辦公室里已有兩個持槍的押送兵等著。坐在那里的文書把一份煙味很重的公文交給一個押送兵，說：
“把她帶去！”
那押送兵是下城的一個農(nóng)民，紅臉，有麻子，他把公文掖在軍大衣翻袖里，目光對著那女犯，笑嘻嘻地向顴骨很高的楚瓦什同伴擠擠眼。這兩個士兵押著女犯走下臺階，向大門口走去。
大門上的一扇便門開了，兩個士兵押著女犯穿過這道門走到院子里，再走出圍墻，來到石子鋪成的大街上。
馬車夫、小店老板、廚娘、工人、官吏紛紛站住，好奇地打量著女犯。有人搖搖頭，心里想：“瞧，不象我們那樣規(guī)規(guī)矩矩做人，就會弄到這個下場！”孩子們恐懼地望著這個女強盜，可以放心的是她被士兵押著，不然再干壞事了。一個鄉(xiāng)下人賣掉了煤炭，在茶館里喝夠了茶，走到她身邊，畫了個十字，送給她一個戈比。女犯臉紅了，低下頭，嘴里喃喃地說了句什么。
女犯察覺向她射來的一道道目光，并不轉(zhuǎn)過頭，卻悄悄地斜睨著那些向她注視的人。大家在注意她，她覺得高興。這里的空氣比牢房里清爽些，帶有春天的氣息，這也使她高興。不過，她好久沒有在石子路上行走，這會兒又穿著笨重的囚鞋，她的腳感到疼痛。她瞧瞧自己的雙腳，竭力走得輕一點。他們經(jīng)過一家面粉店，店門前有許多鴿子，搖搖擺擺地走來走去，沒有人來打擾它們。女犯的腳差點兒碰到一只瓦灰鴿。那只鴿子拍拍翅膀飛起來，從女犯耳邊飛過，給她送來一陣清風。女犯微微一笑，接著想到自己的處境，不禁長嘆了一聲。
Though hundreds of thousands had done their very best to disfigure the small piece of land on which they were crowded together, by paying the ground with stones, scraping away every vestige of vegetation, cutting down the trees, turning away birds and beasts, and filling the air with the smoke of naphtha and coal, still spring was spring, even in the town.
The sun shone warm, the air was balmy; everywhere, where it did not get scraped away, the grass revived and sprang up between the paving-stones as well as on the narrow strips of lawn on the boulevards. The birches, the poplars, and the wild cherry unfolded their gummy and fragrant leaves, the limes were expanding their opening buds; crows, sparrows, and pigeons, filled with the joy of spring, were getting their nests ready; the flies were buzzing along the walls, warmed by the sunshine. All were glad, the plants, the birds, the insects, and the children. But men, grown-up men and women, did not leave off cheating and tormenting themselves and each other. It was not this spring morning men thought sacred and worthy of consideration not the beauty of God's world, given for a joy to all creatures, this beauty which inclines the heart to peace, to harmony, and to love, but only their own devices for enslaving one another.
Thus, in the prison office of the Government town, it was not the fact that men and animals had received the grace and gladness of spring that was considered sacred and important, but that a notice, numbered and with a superscription, had come the day before, ordering that on this 28th day of April, at 9 a.m., three prisoners at present detained in the prison, a man and two women (one of these women, as the chief criminal, to be conducted separately), had to appear at Court. So now, on the 28th of April, at 8 o'clock, a jailer and soon after him a woman warder with curly grey hair, dressed in a jacket with sleeves trimmed with gold, with a blue-edged belt round her waist, and having a look of suffering on her face, came into the corridor.
"You want Maslova?" she asked, coming up to the cell with the jailer who was on duty.
The jailer, rattling the iron padlock, opened the door of the cell, from which there came a whiff of air fouler even than that in the corridor, and called out, "Maslova! to the Court," and closed the door again.
Even into the prison yard the breeze had brought the fresh vivifying air from the fields. But in the corridor the air was laden with the germs of typhoid, the smell of sewage, putrefaction, and tar; every newcomer felt sad and dejected in it. The woman warder felt this, though she was used to bad air. She had just come in from outside, and entering the corridor, she at once became sleepy.
From inside the cell came the sound of bustle and women's voices, and the patter of bare feet on the floor.
"Now, then, hurry up, Maslova, I say!" called out the jailer, and in a minute or two a small young woman with a very full bust came briskly out of the door and went up to the jailer. She had on a grey cloak over a white jacket and petticoat. On her feet she wore linen stockings and prison shoes, and round her head was tied a white kerchief, from under which a few locks of black hair were brushed over the forehead with evident intent. The face of the woman was of that whiteness peculiar to people who have lived long in confinement, and which puts one in mind of shoots of potatoes that spring up in a cellar. Her small broad hands and full neck, which showed from under the broad collar of her cloak, were of the same hue. Her black, sparkling eyes, one with a slight squint, appeared in striking contrast to the dull pallor of her face.
She carried herself very straight, expanding her full bosom.
With her head slightly thrown back, she stood in the corridor, looking straight into the eyes of the jailer, ready to comply with any order.
The jailer was about to lock the door when a wrinkled and severe-looking old woman put out her grey head and began speaking to Maslova. But the jailer closed the door, pushing the old woman's head with it. A woman's laughter was heard from the cell, and Maslova smiled, turning to the little grated opening in the cell door. The old woman pressed her face to the grating from the other side, and said, in a hoarse voice:
"Now mind, and when they begin questioning you, just repeat over the same thing, and stick to it; tell nothing that is not wanted."
"Well, it could not be worse than it is now, anyhow; I only wish it was settled one way or another."
"Of course, it will be settled one way or another," said the jailer, with a superior's self-assured witticism. "Now, then, get along! Take your places!"
The old woman's eyes vanished from the grating, and Maslova stepped out into the middle of the corridor. The warder in front, they descended the stone stairs, past the still fouler, noisy cells of the men's ward, where they were followed by eyes looking out of every one of the gratings in the doors, and entered the office, where two soldiers were waiting to escort her. A clerk who was sitting there gave one of the soldiers a paper reeking of tobacco, and pointing to the prisoner, remarked, "Take her."
The soldier, a peasant from Nijni Novgorod, with a red, pock-marked face, put the paper into the sleeve of his coat, winked to his companion, a broad-shouldered Tchouvash, and then the prisoner and the soldiers went to the front entrance, out of the prison yard, and through the town up the middle of the roughly-paved street.
Isvostchiks [cabmen], tradespeople, cooks, workmen, and government clerks, stopped and looked curiously at the prisoner; some shook their heads and thought, "This is what evil conduct, conduct unlike ours, leads to." The children stopped and gazed at the robber with frightened looks; but the thought that the soldiers were preventing her from doing more harm quieted their fears. A peasant, who had sold his charcoal, and had had some tea in the town, came up, and, after crossing himself, gave her a copeck. The prisoner blushed and muttered something; she noticed that she was attracting everybody's attention, and that pleased her. The comparatively fresh air also gladdened her, but it was painful to step on the rough stones with the ill-made prison shoes on her feet, which had become unused to walking. Passing by a corn-dealer's shop, in front of which a few pigeons were strutting about, unmolested by any one, the prisoner almost touched a grey-blue bird with her foot; it fluttered up and flew close to her car, fanning her with its wings. She smiled, then sighed deeply as she remembered her present position.
盡管好幾十萬人聚居在一小塊地方，竭力把土地糟蹋得面目全非，盡管他們肆意把石頭砸進地里，不讓花草樹木生長，盡管他們除盡剛出土的小草，把煤炭和石油燒得煙霧騰騰，盡管他們?yōu)E伐樹木，驅(qū)逐鳥獸，在城市里，春天畢竟還是春天。陽光和煦，青草又到處生長，不僅在林蔭道上，而且在石板縫里。凡是青草沒有鋤盡的地方，都一片翠綠，生意盎然。樺樹、楊樹和稠李紛紛抽出芬芳的粘稠嫩葉，菩提樹上鼓起一個個脹裂的新芽。寒鴉、麻雀和鴿子感到春天已經(jīng)來臨，都在歡樂地筑巢。就連蒼蠅都被陽光照暖，夜墻腳下嚶嚶嗡嗡地騷動?；ú輼淠疽埠?，鳥雀昆蟲也好，兒童也好，全都歡歡喜喜，生氣蓬勃。唯獨人，唯獨成年人，卻一直在自欺欺人，折磨自己，也折磨別人。他們認為神圣而重要的，不是這春色迷人的早晨，不是上帝為造福眾生所創(chuàng)造的人間的美，那種使萬物趨向和平、協(xié)調(diào)、互愛的美；他們認為神圣而重要的，是他們自己發(fā)明的統(tǒng)治別人的種種手段。
就因為這個緣故，省監(jiān)獄辦公室官員認為神圣而重要的，不是飛禽走獸和男女老幼都在享受的春色和歡樂，他們認為神圣而重要的，是昨天接到的那份編號蓋印、寫明案由的公文。公文指定今天，四月二十八日，上午九時以前把三名受過偵訊的在押犯，一男兩女，解送法院受審。其中一名女的是主犯，須單獨押解送審。由于接到這張傳票，今晨八時監(jiān)獄看守長走進又暗又臭的女監(jiān)走廊。他后面跟著一個面容憔悴、鬈發(fā)花白的女人，身穿袖口鑲金絳的制服，腰束一根藍邊帶子。這是女看守。
“您是要瑪絲洛娃吧？”她同值班的看守來到一間直通走廊的牢房門口，問看守長說。
值班的看守哐啷一聲開了鐵鎖，打開牢門，一股比走廊里更難聞的惡臭立即從里面沖了出來?？词剡汉鹊溃?BR> “瑪絲洛娃，過堂去！”隨即又帶上牢門，等待著。
監(jiān)獄院子里，空氣就比較新鮮爽快些，那是從田野上吹來的。但監(jiān)獄走廊里卻彌漫著令人作嘔的污濁空氣，里面充滿傷寒菌以及糞便、煤焦油和霉爛物品的臭味，不論誰一進來都會感到郁悶和沮喪。女看守雖已聞慣這種污濁空氣，但從院子里一進來，也免不了有這樣的感覺。她一進走廊，就覺得渾身無力，昏昏欲睡。
牢房里傳出女人的說話聲和光腳板的走路聲。
“喂，瑪絲洛娃，快點兒，別磨磨蹭蹭的，聽見沒有！”看守長對著牢門喝道。
過了兩分鐘光景，一個個兒不高、胸部豐滿的年輕女人，身穿白衣白裙，外面套著一件灰色囚袍，大踏步走出牢房，敏捷地轉(zhuǎn)過身子，在看守長旁邊站住。這個女人腳穿麻布襪，外套囚犯穿的棉鞋，頭上扎著一塊白頭巾，顯然有意讓幾綹烏黑的鬈發(fā)從頭巾里露出來。她的臉色異常蒼白，仿佛儲存在地窖里的土豆的新芽。那是長期坐牢的人的通病。她那雙短而闊的手和從囚袍寬大領(lǐng)口里露出來的豐滿脖子，也是那樣蒼白。她那雙眼睛，在蒼白無光的臉龐襯托下，顯得格外烏黑發(fā)亮，雖然有點浮腫，但十分靈活。其中一只眼睛稍微有點斜視。她挺直身子站著，豐滿的胸部高高地隆起。她來到走廊里，微微仰起頭，盯住看守長的眼睛，現(xiàn)出一副唯命是從的樣子?？词亻L剛要關(guān)門，一個沒戴頭巾的白發(fā)老太婆，從牢房里探出她那張嚴厲、蒼白而滿是皺紋的臉來。老太婆對瑪絲洛娃說了幾句話?？词亻L就對著老太婆的腦袋推上牢門，把她們隔開了。牢房里響起了女人的哄笑聲?，斀z洛娃也微微一笑，向牢門上裝有鐵柵的小窗洞轉(zhuǎn)過臉去。老太婆在里面湊近窗洞，啞著嗓子說：
“千萬別跟他們多羅唆，咬定了別改日，就行了?！?BR> “只要有個結(jié)局就行，不會比現(xiàn)在更糟的，”瑪絲洛娃晃了晃腦袋，說。
“結(jié)局當然只有一個，不會有兩個，”看守長煞有介事地擺出長官的架勢說，顯然自以為說得很俏皮?！案襾?，走！”
老太婆的眼睛從窗洞里消失了?，斀z洛娃來到走廊中間，跟在看守長后面，急步走著。他們走下石樓梯，經(jīng)過比女監(jiān)更臭更鬧、每個窗洞里都有眼睛盯著他們的男監(jiān)，走進辦公室。辦公室里已有兩個持槍的押送兵等著。坐在那里的文書把一份煙味很重的公文交給一個押送兵，說：
“把她帶去！”
那押送兵是下城的一個農(nóng)民，紅臉，有麻子，他把公文掖在軍大衣翻袖里，目光對著那女犯，笑嘻嘻地向顴骨很高的楚瓦什同伴擠擠眼。這兩個士兵押著女犯走下臺階，向大門口走去。
大門上的一扇便門開了，兩個士兵押著女犯穿過這道門走到院子里，再走出圍墻，來到石子鋪成的大街上。
馬車夫、小店老板、廚娘、工人、官吏紛紛站住，好奇地打量著女犯。有人搖搖頭，心里想：“瞧，不象我們那樣規(guī)規(guī)矩矩做人，就會弄到這個下場！”孩子們恐懼地望著這個女強盜，可以放心的是她被士兵押著，不然再干壞事了。一個鄉(xiāng)下人賣掉了煤炭，在茶館里喝夠了茶，走到她身邊，畫了個十字，送給她一個戈比。女犯臉紅了，低下頭，嘴里喃喃地說了句什么。
女犯察覺向她射來的一道道目光，并不轉(zhuǎn)過頭，卻悄悄地斜睨著那些向她注視的人。大家在注意她，她覺得高興。這里的空氣比牢房里清爽些，帶有春天的氣息，這也使她高興。不過，她好久沒有在石子路上行走，這會兒又穿著笨重的囚鞋，她的腳感到疼痛。她瞧瞧自己的雙腳，竭力走得輕一點。他們經(jīng)過一家面粉店，店門前有許多鴿子，搖搖擺擺地走來走去，沒有人來打擾它們。女犯的腳差點兒碰到一只瓦灰鴿。那只鴿子拍拍翅膀飛起來，從女犯耳邊飛過，給她送來一陣清風。女犯微微一笑，接著想到自己的處境，不禁長嘆了一聲。