3.Make sure you aren‘t being a burden to a friend. Friendships fade away if there isn’t an equilibrium between the give and the take. Be sensitive to how much your friend can and can‘t offer you – be it time， energy or help – and don’t overstep the mark. And vice versa： friendships that drain you will not last. If a friendship is out of balance， talk the situation through.
確保你不會成為朋友的負(fù)擔(dān)。如果付出和回報不平衡，友誼會逐漸褪色。對于哪些朋友能給予哪些不能給予要很敏感—無論是時間，精力或幫助，不要逾越界限，反之亦然。拖后腿的友誼不會長久的。如果友誼失去了平衡，就要說出來。
4.Be a good listener. It can be the hardest thing in the world to do – simply to listen as he or she pours it all out or is seeking your advice or opinion. To be a better listener， follow this advice：
做一個好的聆聽者。這也許是世界上最難的事情—只是聽他或她的傾訴或是向你尋求建議。做一位好的聆聽者，有以下建議：
1）Maintain eye contact. Offer nods and murmurs to indicate that you understand his or her point of view.
保持眼神交流。時不時的點頭和低語表明你了解他的觀點。
2）Don‘t finish your friend’s sentences. If you catch yourself planning your response while your friend is still talking， gently remind yourself to focus.
不要插話。如果當(dāng)朋友在講話時你正準(zhǔn)備回應(yīng)，提醒你自己集中精力。
3）Minimize distractions – don‘t write or read e-mails， open the mail or watch television while you’re on the phone to your friend. He or she will hear the lack of interest in your responses.
盡量減少分心—當(dāng)你在接朋友電話時不要寫或閱讀電子郵件，打開郵件或看電視。他或她會在你的回答中聽到冷漠。
4）Be careful with advice. Assume your friend wants to let off steam， not necessarily ask for a plan of action.
提供建議需謹(jǐn)慎。假使你的朋友只是想發(fā)泄不滿，不一定是尋求行動的計劃。
5.Be in your friend‘s corner if he or she’s not there to defend him or herself. If you‘re at a gathering at which someone mentions your friend disparagingly， defend him or her against gossip or criticism. Say， “Mary is my friend， and it makes me feel bad to hear you talk this way.” Sooner or later， news of your loyalty will travel back to your pal， and it will deepen your friendship.
當(dāng)朋友不在場時要站出來為他們辯護(hù)。當(dāng)你站在一群人中正在說你朋友的壞話，你要站出來為他辯護(hù)，說，“瑪麗是我的朋友，你們這樣說她，我感覺很不好?！痹缤?，你朋友會知道你對友情的忠誠，而且會加深你們的友誼