The Advantages and Disadvantages of Computers
褚婧雅
湖南省長沙市天心區(qū)長郡中學(xué)高二0612班
Nobody denies that we can live a colourful life with computers. No matter who we are, no matter what kind of job we do, we all need a computer to surf the Internet or spend on playing computers for recreations. However, computers bring us both advantages and disadvantages.
Computers provide us with various of imformation. We can get a knowledge of news, advertisements and even great events about the whole world. During the 2008 Olympic games, people can learn a lot about the competitions, sports games, reports or the results of the Olympic Games. Computers really supply us with vivid images about the society.
In addition, computers make we study more effectivly. It is undoubtedly that lots of students are able to get large amounts of e-books from computers. For example, we always use computers as tools to learn English or other popular languages. Stressed out as we are, we listen to the computers and speak aloud by following it. Moreover, adults also get a lot from computers when they want to study or in need of piles of files about their work.
Generally speaking, with the Internet, we find it easier to share achievements, happiness and sorrows with friends in the world through communications on computers. Not only can we talk about funny things, but also we can know more about the different cultures from different backgrounds. A majority of people are engaged in commucating with friends through QQ or MSN. It is yeally an attractive and happy thing to enjoy in our spare time. Achievements, happiness and sorrows in daily life are all got across to each sides of the “bridge”, and we can eventually satisfy our inner desire and become more energetic.
As a matter of fact, I'm afraid, some teens are hooked on playing computer games. It possiblly makes them go astray. These students have been addicted to computers and only few of them can be saved from this awful troubles. How dissapointed their parerts are! What can hopefully relief them? As for this situation, in fact, computers paly a cruel killer that avoid students from studying and even ruin their bright future.
In conclusion, without computers, there is little chance to change our life and we may not live a life so efficiently. But if some people who not take care of computers, they will loose their beautiful tomorrow. So please regard computers as coins with two sides.
專家建議：
建議該考生針對自己的寫作語言還有必要再雕琢的情況，平時在學(xué)習(xí)中學(xué)課本或是閱讀課外權(quán)威英語材料時，有意識地積累文章中的英語表達(dá)，以便以后在寫作過程中使用。另外，文章中偶爾出現(xiàn)邏輯錯誤，這就要求考生平時有意識地多閱讀英文議論文章，并且觀察與模仿文章中嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)精確的邏輯關(guān)系，提升自己的邏輯思考能力。
專家點評：
該篇文章分為多個段落，段落間結(jié)構(gòu)基本清晰，內(nèi)容豐滿充沛。文章語言運用絕對超出了現(xiàn)階段高中生的平均水平，詞匯運用較為準(zhǔn)確和高級，語法及句型運用也較為豐富和多變，是一篇不可多得的中學(xué)生英語文章。但文章中的個別語句還有空間再進(jìn)行雕琢，可使文章語言更地道更嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)。