The Advantages and Disadvantages of Computers
宮琦
陜西省太原市太原外國(guó)語中學(xué)高二602班
In contemporary society, computer is playing an increasingly essential role in our daily lives. But in the meantime, whether computer is a blessing or curse has sparked spirited debate. Some people assert that computer has fundamentally beneficial influence on our society while many others argue that it has detrimental effect as well. As far as I concerned, I am in favor of the former view.
Convincing arguments can be made that with computers, our lives may become rather colorful. To start with, computers can help the technology developing faster and faster; therefore, most individuals can enjoy efficient lives and numerous companies can combat more issues with the hele of computers. More over, we can buy what we like via Internet, this usually seems less time-consuming and more economical. Specifically, to illustrate, we can buy a great number of things on Taobao Ebay and Paipai, and the price is not very expensive. Lastly, many youngsters like to play a variety of computer games, the beautiful scenes and complete legends often draw a magnet on us that is to say, we can relax our bodies and amuse our minds in this way.
Admittedly, computer really does harm to ourselves in some occasions. The reason for this is that many websites on the Internet spread violence and sex informations, which can exert a bad influence on adolescents to learn and try. Meanwhile there are many hackers steal our Internet bank account and our personal informations through computer viruses. Obviously, the things I described above can lead to social crimes. Even so, we can set up net forces to curb the proliferation of the trend of Internet crimes, and the advantages which computer proride us with proved undeniable in many individuals' eyes.
Having considered all the arguments above, I would concede that computers may cause many problems to our society. Despite that, computers can truly bring comfortable and convinient tempo of living to us. Overall, I am convinced that the advantages of computers far outweigh the disvantages, and we should use computers in right way to contribute to societal well-being.
專家建議：
建議該生擴(kuò)大英文閱讀量，閱讀不僅可以幫助考生積累更為地道準(zhǔn)確的語言表達(dá)方式，更能讓該生借鑒文章段落結(jié)構(gòu)的設(shè)置以及段落內(nèi)部句子的邏輯嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)?shù)倪壿嬯P(guān)系。關(guān)于閱讀材料，可以選擇課外權(quán)威英文議論文讀物，如英文報(bào)紙，期刊等。這些材料中的文章語言準(zhǔn)確地道，結(jié)構(gòu)清晰工整，邏輯正確嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)，時(shí)刻散發(fā)著英文理性的魅力，可以對(duì)議論文寫作提高有所幫助。
專家點(diǎn)評(píng)：
本篇文章結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，嚴(yán)格按照“總起—優(yōu)勢(shì)—劣勢(shì)—總結(jié)”的段落分布。語句基本連貫通順，詞匯運(yùn)用較為豐富，語法的多樣性也有所體現(xiàn)。本文作者的寫作水平絕對(duì)超出了現(xiàn)階段高中生英語寫作能力的平均水平。但是，本文中出現(xiàn)個(gè)別邏輯錯(cuò)誤，段落內(nèi)部句子與句子間的邏輯關(guān)系不夠緊湊，個(gè)別段落間的過度有些生硬，望日后寫作時(shí)留意。