Alexis
Nowadays we see supermodels on almost every magazine cover and one might wonder what life will be like being one of them. Such assumption may be painful for most of the magazine readers who are already over the age when they can get taller. In response to the ”Getting taller trend”, some goes so far as to pay doctors to cut their legs open and let surgeries do the job to get just two centimeters’ higher.
In spite of all these that are happening, some of my taller friends desire to give up this superiority for they just don’t want to be the center of the crowd, saying that they would kill to be a 4 feet child. Girls, maybe you can’t remember the time when you were younger and you need to jump really hard to catch a glimpse of up-the-table world? But being taller, even the upper world of the refrigerator top is no longer a myth and your mom and dad can’t hide your snacks up there any more! As time goes on, you can easily see on the table the beautiful lavenders or lilies stretching themselves in their own fragrant smell, the shining toaster popping out warm tasty toast, or the little drops of water glittering under bright sunshine after your mom wipes the table. Don’t you just love to see every phase of the moon even when they are not that high up in the sky?
Well, I do. Being a 5 ft 10 myself, I am also taking the advantage of buying a larger outfit at a same price. Also, I get a cleaner view of the blackboard even when sitting far away from it. I run faster, jump higher and can think positively. I am proud to say that I possess the ability to see the upside of almost everything. I guess it is because I am closer to the clear blue sky above our heads.
批 改 老 師 rainbow
評(píng) 分 90分
級(jí) 別 優(yōu)秀批
改Such assumption may be painful for most of the magazine readers who are already over the age when they can get taller. 可長高的年齡，沒有比較，應(yīng)該為get tall較好。
In response to the ”Getting taller trend”, some goes so far as to ...and let surgeries do the job to get just two centimeters’ higher.
1) 根據(jù)下文their legs, goes應(yīng)該為go；
2) surgeries 應(yīng)改為surgeons
saying that they would kill to be a 4 feet child. 應(yīng)該為 4 feet children
Girls, maybe ...up-the-table world?But being taller, even the upper world of the refrigerator top is no longer a myth and your mom and dad can’t hide your snacks up there any more!
1) world 后面應(yīng)使用小實(shí)點(diǎn)；
2）根據(jù)現(xiàn)在分詞的使用規(guī)則（分詞短語的邏輯主語要與主句主語保持一致），在不改動(dòng)句子原意的前提下，建議在even the upper world前添加you found, 而is和can't應(yīng)相應(yīng)變成was和couldn't 3) any more 改為any longer 更合適。
or the little drops of water glittering under bright sunshine after your mom wipes the table. or應(yīng)該為and 更恰當(dāng)；
Being a 5 ft 10 myself, I am also taking the advantage of buying a larger outfit at a same price. a 應(yīng)改成the;
I run faster, jump higher and can think positively. 提一個(gè)問題：think positively 與being tall 有何直接聯(lián)系？難道not being tall就意味著cannot think positively.
本文表達(dá)流暢，尤其善于細(xì)節(jié)描寫，如As time goes on, you can easily see on the table the beautiful lavenders or lilies stretching themselves in their own fragrant smell, the shining toaster popping out warm tasty toast, or the little drops of water glittering under bright sunshine after your mom wipes the table.沒有什么語病。但本人提出一個(gè)意見讓作者思考：本文大部分篇章講述不同人對(duì)get tall的看法，而我的觀點(diǎn)僅占一小部分，是否應(yīng)將標(biāo)題改為being tall更合理？
Nowadays we see supermodels on almost every magazine cover and one might wonder what life will be like being one of them. Such assumption may be painful for most of the magazine readers who are already over the age when they can get taller. In response to the ”Getting taller trend”, some goes so far as to pay doctors to cut their legs open and let surgeries do the job to get just two centimeters’ higher.
In spite of all these that are happening, some of my taller friends desire to give up this superiority for they just don’t want to be the center of the crowd, saying that they would kill to be a 4 feet child. Girls, maybe you can’t remember the time when you were younger and you need to jump really hard to catch a glimpse of up-the-table world? But being taller, even the upper world of the refrigerator top is no longer a myth and your mom and dad can’t hide your snacks up there any more! As time goes on, you can easily see on the table the beautiful lavenders or lilies stretching themselves in their own fragrant smell, the shining toaster popping out warm tasty toast, or the little drops of water glittering under bright sunshine after your mom wipes the table. Don’t you just love to see every phase of the moon even when they are not that high up in the sky?
Well, I do. Being a 5 ft 10 myself, I am also taking the advantage of buying a larger outfit at a same price. Also, I get a cleaner view of the blackboard even when sitting far away from it. I run faster, jump higher and can think positively. I am proud to say that I possess the ability to see the upside of almost everything. I guess it is because I am closer to the clear blue sky above our heads.
批 改 老 師 rainbow
評(píng) 分 90分
級(jí) 別 優(yōu)秀批
改Such assumption may be painful for most of the magazine readers who are already over the age when they can get taller. 可長高的年齡，沒有比較，應(yīng)該為get tall較好。
In response to the ”Getting taller trend”, some goes so far as to ...and let surgeries do the job to get just two centimeters’ higher.
1) 根據(jù)下文their legs, goes應(yīng)該為go；
2) surgeries 應(yīng)改為surgeons
saying that they would kill to be a 4 feet child. 應(yīng)該為 4 feet children
Girls, maybe ...up-the-table world?But being taller, even the upper world of the refrigerator top is no longer a myth and your mom and dad can’t hide your snacks up there any more!
1) world 后面應(yīng)使用小實(shí)點(diǎn)；
2）根據(jù)現(xiàn)在分詞的使用規(guī)則（分詞短語的邏輯主語要與主句主語保持一致），在不改動(dòng)句子原意的前提下，建議在even the upper world前添加you found, 而is和can't應(yīng)相應(yīng)變成was和couldn't 3) any more 改為any longer 更合適。
or the little drops of water glittering under bright sunshine after your mom wipes the table. or應(yīng)該為and 更恰當(dāng)；
Being a 5 ft 10 myself, I am also taking the advantage of buying a larger outfit at a same price. a 應(yīng)改成the;
I run faster, jump higher and can think positively. 提一個(gè)問題：think positively 與being tall 有何直接聯(lián)系？難道not being tall就意味著cannot think positively.
本文表達(dá)流暢，尤其善于細(xì)節(jié)描寫，如As time goes on, you can easily see on the table the beautiful lavenders or lilies stretching themselves in their own fragrant smell, the shining toaster popping out warm tasty toast, or the little drops of water glittering under bright sunshine after your mom wipes the table.沒有什么語病。但本人提出一個(gè)意見讓作者思考：本文大部分篇章講述不同人對(duì)get tall的看法，而我的觀點(diǎn)僅占一小部分，是否應(yīng)將標(biāo)題改為being tall更合理？