If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can he dealt with. A professor may degrade you, but you will not feel degraded, a boss may crush you, but you will not be crushed, a corporate gladiator might vanquish you, but you will still triumph. How could any of them truly prevail in pulling you down? For you know that you are an object worthy of love. The rest is just packaging.
But if you dont have that memory of being loved, you are condemned to search the world for something to fill you up. But no matter how much money you make or how famous you become, you will still fell empty. What you are really searching for is unconditional love, unqualified acceptance. And that was the one thing that was denied to you at birth.
如果你降臨或離開這個世界時都感到被愛，那么這些時間里發(fā)生的所有意外你都能對付得了。教授可能降你的級，可你自己并沒有降級，老板可能排擠你，可你不會被排擠掉，一個辯論對手可能會擊敗你，可你卻仍能勝利。他們怎么能真正戰(zhàn)勝你擊倒你呢?因為你知道你是值得被愛的，其余的只是一層包裝罷了。可是，如果你沒有被愛的記憶，你就無法發(fā)現(xiàn)世界上有什么東西能夠讓你充實。無論你掙了多少錢，無論你有多出名，你仍然覺得空虛。你真正尋找的只是無條件的愛和完全的包容。而這些在你誕生時就被拒絕給予。
Friends, let me paint a picture for you. Here is a typical day in America - six youths under the age of 20 will commit suicide, 12 children under the age of 20 will die from firearms - remember this is a DAY, not a year - 399 kids will be arrested for drug abuse, 1,352 babies will be born to teen mothers. This is happening in one of the richest, most developed countries in the history of the world.
Yes, in my country there is an epidemic of violence that parallels no other industrialised nation. These are the ways young people in America express their hurt and their anger. But dont think that there is not the same pain and anguish among their counterparts in the United Kingdom. Studies in this country show that every single hour, three teenagers in the UK inflict harm upon themselves, often by cutting or burning their bodies or taking an overdose. This is how they have chosen to cope with the pain of neglect and emotional agony.
In Britain, as many as 20% of families will only sit down and have dinner together once a year. Once a year! And what about the time-honoured tradition of reading your kid a bedtime story? Research from the 1980s showed that children who are read to, had far greater literacy and significantly outperformed their peers at school. And yet, less than 33% of British children ages two to eight have a regular bedtime story read to them. You may not think much of that until you take into account that 75% of their parents DID have that bedtime story when they were that age.
Clearly, we do not have to ask ourselves where all of this pain, anger and violent behaviour comes from. It is self-evident that children are thundering against the neglect, quaking against the indifference and crying out just to be noticed. The various child protection agencies in the US say that millions of children are victims of maltreatment in the form of neglect, in the average year. Yes, neglect. In rich homes, privileged homes, wired to the hilt with every electronic gadget. Homes where parents come home, but theyre not really home, because their heads are still at the office.
朋友們，讓我給大家描述一下這樣的情景，在美國每一天將有--6個不滿20歲的青年自殺，12個20歲以下的孩子死于武器---記住這只是一天，不是一年。另外還有399個年輕人因為服用麻醉品而被逮捕，1352個嬰兒被十幾歲的媽媽生出來，這都發(fā)生在世界上最富有最發(fā)達的國家。是的，我國所充斥的暴力，其他的工業(yè)化國家無法相提并論。這只是美國年輕人宣泄自己所受的傷害和憤怒的途徑，但是，難道英國就沒有同樣煩惱痛苦的人么?調(diào)查表明英國每小時都會有三個十來歲的孩子自殘，經(jīng)常割燙自己的身體或者服用過量藥劑。這是他們現(xiàn)在用來發(fā)泄痛苦煩惱的方法。在大不列顛，有20%的家庭一年只能聚在一起吃一次晚飯，一年才一次!80年研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，聽教多的孩子都有較強的識讀能力和動手能力，而且，遠比看著學的有效果。然而，英國只有不到33%的二至八歲的孩子才能固定地在晚睡前聽段故事。如果我們沒有意識到75%的家長在他們的那個年齡都是聽著故事過來的，那么大家可能就不會想到什么了。很顯然，我們沒有問過自己這些痛苦憤怒和暴力從何而來。不言而喻，孩子們特別憎恨被忽略，害怕冷漠，他們哭泣只是為了引起注意。在美國，各種兒童保護機構(gòu)表示，平均每年，有千萬兒童成為了因忽略冷漠是受害者，這是一種虐待!富有的家庭，幸運的家庭，完全被電子器件束縛了。父母親回到家里，可是他們沒有真正回家，他們的靈魂還在辦公室。
And their kids? Well, their kids just make do with whatever emotional crumbs they get. And you dont get much from endless TV, computer games and videos.
These hard, cold numbers which for me, wrench the soul and shake the spirit, should indicate to you why I have devoted so much of my time and resources into making our new Heal the Kids initiative a colossal success.
Our goal is simple - to recreate the parent/child bond, renew its promise and light the way forward for all the beautiful children who are destined one day to walk this earth.
But since this is my first public lecture, and you have so warmly welcomed me into your hearts, I feel that I want to tell you more. We each have our own story, and in that sense statistics can become personal.
They say that parenting is like dancing. You take one step, your child takes another. I have discovered that getting parents to re-dedicate themselves to their children is only half the story. The other half is preparing the children to re-accept their parents.
那么孩子們呢? 啊，只好以他們所能得到的一些感情的碎片勉強過活。在無休止的電視，電腦游戲和錄像帶上又能得到多少呢!這些讓我覺得扭曲靈魂震撼心靈的又冷又硬的東西正好可以讓大家明白，我為什么要花費這么多時間精力來支援拯救孩子的活動讓它能獲得巨大的成功。我們的目的很簡單——重建父母兒女之間的融洽關(guān)系，重許我們的承諾去點亮所有終究有一天會來到這個世界美麗孩子們的前行路途。(這次公開演講之后，你們能對我敞開心扉，我覺得我會和你們聊更多。不過如果對我們每個人各自的故事都作統(tǒng)計的話就可能侵犯個人隱私了。)常言道，撫養(yǎng)孩子就像跳舞。你走一步，你的孩子跟一步。而我發(fā)覺養(yǎng)育孩子時，你對孩子的付出只是故事的一半，而另一半就是孩子對父母的回報。
When I was very young I remember that we had this crazy mutt of a dog named "Black Girl," a mix of wolf and retriever. Not only wasnt she much of a guard dog, she was such a scared and nervous thing that it is a wonder she did not pass out every time a truck rumbled by, or a thunderstorm swept through Indiana. My sister Janet and I gave that dog so much love, but we never really won back the sense of trust that had been stolen from her by her previous owner. We knew he used to beat her. We didnt know with what. But whatever it was, it was enough to suck the spirit right out of that dog.
在我小時候，我記得我們有一只名叫“黑姑娘”的狼狗，她不僅不能看家，而且很膽小并且神經(jīng)質(zhì)，甚至對卡車的聲音和印地安那的雷雨也恐懼不已，我的妹妹珍妮和我在她身上下了不少心，但是我們沒能贏得她的信任，她以前的主人總是打她，我們不知道為了什么，但是無論因為什么，這尚不足以使這條狗喪失忠誠。
A lot of kids today are hurt puppies who have weaned themselves off the need for love. They couldnt care less about their parents. Left to their own devices, they cherish their independence. They have moved on and have left their parents behind. Then there are the far worse cases of children who harbour animosity and resentment toward their parents, so that any overture that their parents might undertake would be thrown forcefully back in their face.
如今許多冷漠的年輕人都是受傷害的可憐人。他們一點也不關(guān)心他們的父母。他們獨來獨往，捍衛(wèi)他們的獨立。他們不停地向前，而把父母拋在了后面。還有更糟的孩子，他們怨恨父母，甚至父母的任何可能的提議都會被激烈地駁回。
Tonight, I dont want any of us to make this mistake. Thats why Im calling upon all the worlds children - beginning with all of us here tonight - to forgive our parents, if we felt neglected. Forgive them and teach them how to love again.
You probably werent surprised to hear that I did not have an idyllic childhood. The strain and tension that exists in my relationship with my own father is well documented.
今晚，我不希望我們之中任何人犯這樣的錯誤，這就是為什么我正號召全世界的孩子--和我們今晚在場的人一起開始--寬恕我們的父母，如果我們覺得被忽略，那么寬恕他們并且教他們怎樣愛。 聽到我沒有一個幸福童年時您可能并不吃驚，我和我父親的緊張關(guān)系就是一例。
My father is a tough man and he pushed my brothers and me hard, from the earliest age, to be the best performers we could be.
He had great difficulty showing affection. He never really told me he loved me. And he never really complimented me either. If I did a great show, he would tell me it was a good show. And if I did an OK show, he told me it was a lousy show.
He seemed intent, above all else, on making us a commercial success. And at that he was more than adept. My father was a managerial genius and my brothers and I owe our professional success, in no small measure, to the forceful way that he pushed us. He trained me as a showman and under his guidance I couldnt miss a step.
But what I really wanted was a Dad. I wanted a father who showed me love. And my father never did that. He never said I love you while looking me straight in the eye, he never played a game with me. He never gave me a piggyback ride, he never threw a pillow at me, or a water balloon.
But I remember once when I was about four years old, there was a little carnival and he picked me up and put me on a pony. It was a tiny gesture, probably something he forgot five minutes later. But because of that moment I have this special place in my heart for him. Because thats how kids are, the little things mean so much to them and for me, that one moment meant everything. I only experienced it that one time, but it made me feel really good, about him and the world.
我父親是個嚴厲的人，從記事起，他努力地讓我們盡量做好的演員，他不善于表達愛，他從不說他愛我，也從未夸獎我，如果我表現(xiàn)的很棒，他會說不錯，如果我表現(xiàn)的還行，他就什么也不說，讓我們?nèi)〉檬聵I(yè)的成功是他最熱切的希望，我的父親是個天才管理者，我和我的哥哥們在事業(yè)上不成功，他就以強迫的方式，讓我成為一個演員，在他的指導下，我沒有錯過任何一個機遇，但我真正想要的是一個讓我感覺到愛的父親，我的父親卻不是這樣，在他直視著我時從不說愛我，從未和我玩過一個游戲，沒有玩過騎馬，沒有扔過枕頭，沒有玩過水球，但我記得我四歲那年，有一個小的狂歡節(jié)，他把我放在小馬上，這樣小的一個動作，或許他五分鐘就忘記了，但因為那一刻，在我心里，他有了一個特別的位置，這就是孩子，很小的事情對他們意味著很多，對我亦如此，那一刻意味著一切，我僅僅經(jīng)歷過一次，但那感覺真好，對他也是對世界的感覺!
But if you dont have that memory of being loved, you are condemned to search the world for something to fill you up. But no matter how much money you make or how famous you become, you will still fell empty. What you are really searching for is unconditional love, unqualified acceptance. And that was the one thing that was denied to you at birth.
如果你降臨或離開這個世界時都感到被愛，那么這些時間里發(fā)生的所有意外你都能對付得了。教授可能降你的級，可你自己并沒有降級，老板可能排擠你，可你不會被排擠掉，一個辯論對手可能會擊敗你，可你卻仍能勝利。他們怎么能真正戰(zhàn)勝你擊倒你呢?因為你知道你是值得被愛的，其余的只是一層包裝罷了。可是，如果你沒有被愛的記憶，你就無法發(fā)現(xiàn)世界上有什么東西能夠讓你充實。無論你掙了多少錢，無論你有多出名，你仍然覺得空虛。你真正尋找的只是無條件的愛和完全的包容。而這些在你誕生時就被拒絕給予。
Friends, let me paint a picture for you. Here is a typical day in America - six youths under the age of 20 will commit suicide, 12 children under the age of 20 will die from firearms - remember this is a DAY, not a year - 399 kids will be arrested for drug abuse, 1,352 babies will be born to teen mothers. This is happening in one of the richest, most developed countries in the history of the world.
Yes, in my country there is an epidemic of violence that parallels no other industrialised nation. These are the ways young people in America express their hurt and their anger. But dont think that there is not the same pain and anguish among their counterparts in the United Kingdom. Studies in this country show that every single hour, three teenagers in the UK inflict harm upon themselves, often by cutting or burning their bodies or taking an overdose. This is how they have chosen to cope with the pain of neglect and emotional agony.
In Britain, as many as 20% of families will only sit down and have dinner together once a year. Once a year! And what about the time-honoured tradition of reading your kid a bedtime story? Research from the 1980s showed that children who are read to, had far greater literacy and significantly outperformed their peers at school. And yet, less than 33% of British children ages two to eight have a regular bedtime story read to them. You may not think much of that until you take into account that 75% of their parents DID have that bedtime story when they were that age.
Clearly, we do not have to ask ourselves where all of this pain, anger and violent behaviour comes from. It is self-evident that children are thundering against the neglect, quaking against the indifference and crying out just to be noticed. The various child protection agencies in the US say that millions of children are victims of maltreatment in the form of neglect, in the average year. Yes, neglect. In rich homes, privileged homes, wired to the hilt with every electronic gadget. Homes where parents come home, but theyre not really home, because their heads are still at the office.
朋友們，讓我給大家描述一下這樣的情景，在美國每一天將有--6個不滿20歲的青年自殺，12個20歲以下的孩子死于武器---記住這只是一天，不是一年。另外還有399個年輕人因為服用麻醉品而被逮捕，1352個嬰兒被十幾歲的媽媽生出來，這都發(fā)生在世界上最富有最發(fā)達的國家。是的，我國所充斥的暴力，其他的工業(yè)化國家無法相提并論。這只是美國年輕人宣泄自己所受的傷害和憤怒的途徑，但是，難道英國就沒有同樣煩惱痛苦的人么?調(diào)查表明英國每小時都會有三個十來歲的孩子自殘，經(jīng)常割燙自己的身體或者服用過量藥劑。這是他們現(xiàn)在用來發(fā)泄痛苦煩惱的方法。在大不列顛，有20%的家庭一年只能聚在一起吃一次晚飯，一年才一次!80年研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，聽教多的孩子都有較強的識讀能力和動手能力，而且，遠比看著學的有效果。然而，英國只有不到33%的二至八歲的孩子才能固定地在晚睡前聽段故事。如果我們沒有意識到75%的家長在他們的那個年齡都是聽著故事過來的，那么大家可能就不會想到什么了。很顯然，我們沒有問過自己這些痛苦憤怒和暴力從何而來。不言而喻，孩子們特別憎恨被忽略，害怕冷漠，他們哭泣只是為了引起注意。在美國，各種兒童保護機構(gòu)表示，平均每年，有千萬兒童成為了因忽略冷漠是受害者，這是一種虐待!富有的家庭，幸運的家庭，完全被電子器件束縛了。父母親回到家里，可是他們沒有真正回家，他們的靈魂還在辦公室。
And their kids? Well, their kids just make do with whatever emotional crumbs they get. And you dont get much from endless TV, computer games and videos.
These hard, cold numbers which for me, wrench the soul and shake the spirit, should indicate to you why I have devoted so much of my time and resources into making our new Heal the Kids initiative a colossal success.
Our goal is simple - to recreate the parent/child bond, renew its promise and light the way forward for all the beautiful children who are destined one day to walk this earth.
But since this is my first public lecture, and you have so warmly welcomed me into your hearts, I feel that I want to tell you more. We each have our own story, and in that sense statistics can become personal.
They say that parenting is like dancing. You take one step, your child takes another. I have discovered that getting parents to re-dedicate themselves to their children is only half the story. The other half is preparing the children to re-accept their parents.
那么孩子們呢? 啊，只好以他們所能得到的一些感情的碎片勉強過活。在無休止的電視，電腦游戲和錄像帶上又能得到多少呢!這些讓我覺得扭曲靈魂震撼心靈的又冷又硬的東西正好可以讓大家明白，我為什么要花費這么多時間精力來支援拯救孩子的活動讓它能獲得巨大的成功。我們的目的很簡單——重建父母兒女之間的融洽關(guān)系，重許我們的承諾去點亮所有終究有一天會來到這個世界美麗孩子們的前行路途。(這次公開演講之后，你們能對我敞開心扉，我覺得我會和你們聊更多。不過如果對我們每個人各自的故事都作統(tǒng)計的話就可能侵犯個人隱私了。)常言道，撫養(yǎng)孩子就像跳舞。你走一步，你的孩子跟一步。而我發(fā)覺養(yǎng)育孩子時，你對孩子的付出只是故事的一半，而另一半就是孩子對父母的回報。
When I was very young I remember that we had this crazy mutt of a dog named "Black Girl," a mix of wolf and retriever. Not only wasnt she much of a guard dog, she was such a scared and nervous thing that it is a wonder she did not pass out every time a truck rumbled by, or a thunderstorm swept through Indiana. My sister Janet and I gave that dog so much love, but we never really won back the sense of trust that had been stolen from her by her previous owner. We knew he used to beat her. We didnt know with what. But whatever it was, it was enough to suck the spirit right out of that dog.
在我小時候，我記得我們有一只名叫“黑姑娘”的狼狗，她不僅不能看家，而且很膽小并且神經(jīng)質(zhì)，甚至對卡車的聲音和印地安那的雷雨也恐懼不已，我的妹妹珍妮和我在她身上下了不少心，但是我們沒能贏得她的信任，她以前的主人總是打她，我們不知道為了什么，但是無論因為什么，這尚不足以使這條狗喪失忠誠。
A lot of kids today are hurt puppies who have weaned themselves off the need for love. They couldnt care less about their parents. Left to their own devices, they cherish their independence. They have moved on and have left their parents behind. Then there are the far worse cases of children who harbour animosity and resentment toward their parents, so that any overture that their parents might undertake would be thrown forcefully back in their face.
如今許多冷漠的年輕人都是受傷害的可憐人。他們一點也不關(guān)心他們的父母。他們獨來獨往，捍衛(wèi)他們的獨立。他們不停地向前，而把父母拋在了后面。還有更糟的孩子，他們怨恨父母，甚至父母的任何可能的提議都會被激烈地駁回。
Tonight, I dont want any of us to make this mistake. Thats why Im calling upon all the worlds children - beginning with all of us here tonight - to forgive our parents, if we felt neglected. Forgive them and teach them how to love again.
You probably werent surprised to hear that I did not have an idyllic childhood. The strain and tension that exists in my relationship with my own father is well documented.
今晚，我不希望我們之中任何人犯這樣的錯誤，這就是為什么我正號召全世界的孩子--和我們今晚在場的人一起開始--寬恕我們的父母，如果我們覺得被忽略，那么寬恕他們并且教他們怎樣愛。 聽到我沒有一個幸福童年時您可能并不吃驚，我和我父親的緊張關(guān)系就是一例。
My father is a tough man and he pushed my brothers and me hard, from the earliest age, to be the best performers we could be.
He had great difficulty showing affection. He never really told me he loved me. And he never really complimented me either. If I did a great show, he would tell me it was a good show. And if I did an OK show, he told me it was a lousy show.
He seemed intent, above all else, on making us a commercial success. And at that he was more than adept. My father was a managerial genius and my brothers and I owe our professional success, in no small measure, to the forceful way that he pushed us. He trained me as a showman and under his guidance I couldnt miss a step.
But what I really wanted was a Dad. I wanted a father who showed me love. And my father never did that. He never said I love you while looking me straight in the eye, he never played a game with me. He never gave me a piggyback ride, he never threw a pillow at me, or a water balloon.
But I remember once when I was about four years old, there was a little carnival and he picked me up and put me on a pony. It was a tiny gesture, probably something he forgot five minutes later. But because of that moment I have this special place in my heart for him. Because thats how kids are, the little things mean so much to them and for me, that one moment meant everything. I only experienced it that one time, but it made me feel really good, about him and the world.
我父親是個嚴厲的人，從記事起，他努力地讓我們盡量做好的演員，他不善于表達愛，他從不說他愛我，也從未夸獎我，如果我表現(xiàn)的很棒，他會說不錯，如果我表現(xiàn)的還行，他就什么也不說，讓我們?nèi)〉檬聵I(yè)的成功是他最熱切的希望，我的父親是個天才管理者，我和我的哥哥們在事業(yè)上不成功，他就以強迫的方式，讓我成為一個演員，在他的指導下，我沒有錯過任何一個機遇，但我真正想要的是一個讓我感覺到愛的父親，我的父親卻不是這樣，在他直視著我時從不說愛我，從未和我玩過一個游戲，沒有玩過騎馬，沒有扔過枕頭，沒有玩過水球，但我記得我四歲那年，有一個小的狂歡節(jié)，他把我放在小馬上，這樣小的一個動作，或許他五分鐘就忘記了，但因為那一刻，在我心里，他有了一個特別的位置，這就是孩子，很小的事情對他們意味著很多，對我亦如此，那一刻意味著一切，我僅僅經(jīng)歷過一次，但那感覺真好，對他也是對世界的感覺!