問(wèn)及中國(guó)學(xué)生寫(xiě)作的困境， 不僅僅是學(xué)生甚至是某些學(xué)者， 近乎異口同聲：“詞匯量不足” 云云。其實(shí)這種所謂的詞匯量問(wèn)題，雖然不敢斷然否定其存在，但是在培養(yǎng)學(xué)生寫(xiě)作技能的初級(jí)階段根本不是問(wèn)題，如果說(shuō)詞匯是個(gè)問(wèn)題，那么至少是寫(xiě)作技能提高階段的問(wèn)題。在參加諸如GRE考試和GMAT考試的寫(xiě)作中，都不應(yīng)該鼓勵(lì)學(xué)生使用復(fù)雜的詞匯量。
在考生參加國(guó)內(nèi)英語(yǔ)考試寫(xiě)作，比如四級(jí)，六級(jí)，考研，在職碩士等領(lǐng)域，根本不應(yīng)該提及。否則對(duì)學(xué)生應(yīng)試分?jǐn)?shù)提高，造成誤導(dǎo)。為什么這樣說(shuō)呢？
第一個(gè)原因是：中國(guó)高中水平以上學(xué)生英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)，主要是積累詞匯，大部分考生已經(jīng)具備2000個(gè)英語(yǔ)詞匯。這對(duì)于基本生活中問(wèn)題的表達(dá)和闡述，以及應(yīng)付各種考試已經(jīng)綽綽有余。問(wèn)題是考生根本不會(huì)合理地使用自己已經(jīng)掌握的詞匯。如果自己已經(jīng)有的，不去合理利用，反而追求自己沒(méi)有的，豈不是非常荒謬？這是一個(gè)非常淺顯的道理：用好自己已經(jīng)有的資源！
現(xiàn)在我們考慮一道雅思作文題目：
Some people say that it wastes both time and money to protect animals while others say that it is useful to protect animals. What is your opinion?
如果指導(dǎo)學(xué)生用自己已經(jīng)掌握的單詞，完成這樣的作文考試，考生實(shí)際上可以考到8分。下面是一種寫(xiě)法：
What are the values of animals? Fish and shrimp give people foods; birds give poets new ideas and ideals; even a simple fly offer scientists new information for research. Clearly, animals are important. Then who can say that it is a waster of money to protect such important things? I believe that human should protect animals.
56 words
譯文：
動(dòng)物的價(jià)值是什么呢？魚(yú)和蝦給我們食物，鳥(niǎo)兒給詩(shī)人理想和靈感，甚至是簡(jiǎn)單的蒼蠅也為科學(xué)家提供新的研究信息。顯然，動(dòng)物是重要的。那么，誰(shuí)又能說(shuō)保護(hù)如此重要的動(dòng)物是浪費(fèi)呢？我認(rèn)為，人類應(yīng)該保護(hù)動(dòng)物。
使用復(fù)雜的詞匯寫(xiě)作
Cetaceans are not created to decorate the immense chaotic oceans or to offer poets or littérateurs aspirations or inspirations. Nor does falconry soar towards the empyrean and scud in the firmament to demonstrate His almightiness. Then humans, the wretched descendents of Adams as the scripture tells within the eon, have been meditating such questions as why creatures exist. Were they once created by the omnipotent God or what scientists termed as nature? Recently both philosophers and environmentalists ponder that whether or not human beings should carry out campaigns to salvage wildlife. The question is that such campaigns might constitute considerable deteriorate elements both to the flora and fauna。
譯文：
上帝創(chuàng)造鯨魚(yú)，并不是為了點(diǎn)綴那廣漠無(wú)垠喧囂混沌的海洋，也不是為了激發(fā)詩(shī)人或者文人騷客的靈感或者情感；鷹擊長(zhǎng)空，掠過(guò)天宇也不是為了證明自然的威力。人類，根據(jù)萬(wàn)古流傳的經(jīng)文傳說(shuō)，是那亞當(dāng)?shù)淖訉O，一直在思考著生物為什么存在于世的問(wèn)題。 究竟生物為萬(wàn)能的造物主所一時(shí)創(chuàng)造，還是科學(xué)家冠以為“自然”的呢？現(xiàn)在，無(wú)論哲學(xué)家還是環(huán)境保護(hù)主義者都在思考人類究竟是否要發(fā)起拯救動(dòng)物的行動(dòng)。問(wèn)題是諸如此類的救助行為可能成為惡化動(dòng)植物區(qū)系的因素。
講解：
前后兩篇范文都是出手不凡。但是，第二篇使用復(fù)雜的詞匯寫(xiě)作，一般考生會(huì)感到：此曲只應(yīng)天上有，人間能得幾回聞？但是第一篇范文完全使用考生熟悉的詞匯。
可以看出，能夠?qū)懗鋈绱肆鲿车淖魑?，并不是使用了?fù)雜的單詞，而是一種文章的結(jié)構(gòu)和作者的思路。實(shí)際上使用右面一欄的單詞，表達(dá)的思想完全可以用左面這些考生熟悉的詞匯完成?？荚囈罂忌鷮?xiě)出250個(gè)單詞的作文，二考生實(shí)際應(yīng)試需要的詞匯，多是200個(gè)。加上不同的作文題目的題材變化的考慮，考生用已經(jīng)掌握的2000個(gè)單詞可以取得非常高的分?jǐn)?shù)。 遺憾的不是考生詞匯量不夠，而是考生的腦海中根本沒(méi)有把這些單詞變成句子。中國(guó)學(xué)生學(xué)習(xí)英文仿佛就是背誦單詞。
作者本人就是在大學(xué)期間受這種錯(cuò)誤教學(xué)理念的誤導(dǎo)，背誦了一本新英漢字典，背了四年，背了至少不下千遍，可是寫(xiě)出的文章還是狗*不通。后來(lái)遇到了哈佛大學(xué)的朋友，她給了我一本BIBLE, 告訴我每天讀，注意句子的構(gòu)成和句子之間的關(guān)系。我開(kāi)始非常反感，認(rèn)為這是侮辱我的宗教信仰。當(dāng)時(shí)我甚至覺(jué)得這個(gè)朋友動(dòng)機(jī)不純，有拉我下水的惡意。
可是當(dāng)我讀到圣經(jīng)中優(yōu)美的句子時(shí)候，我甚至陶醉了，當(dāng)時(shí)我在北大未名湖畔，這樣的句子感動(dòng)了我：
you are the salt of the earth…
You are the light of the world…
will shine before humanity
這里面的美在于一種單純和簡(jiǎn)單。之后，我每日都讀圣經(jīng)，學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)表達(dá)的技術(shù)，久而久之，感悟到其中的美，就逐漸開(kāi)始欣賞英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)單詞匯表達(dá)的美麗和藝術(shù)。后來(lái)從學(xué)生變成老師，我教授美國(guó)文學(xué)和語(yǔ)言學(xué)，著重分析過(guò)ERNEST HEMINGWAY作品詞匯的樸素和執(zhí)著的表現(xiàn)力。在THE SUN ALSO RISE中，讀者完全可以品味如何用簡(jiǎn)單的詞匯表達(dá)高尚的人類思維。
其實(shí)，復(fù)雜的詞匯是學(xué)生一時(shí)半時(shí)無(wú)法掌握的，反而是簡(jiǎn)單的單詞如何用好，成為英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作應(yīng)試教學(xué)初級(jí)的主要課題。如果用好簡(jiǎn)單的詞匯，就可以逐步追求表達(dá)的準(zhǔn)確和精確，使用復(fù)雜的詞匯?？墒且婚_(kāi)始就鼓勵(lì)學(xué)生背誦大量的詞匯，既不現(xiàn)實(shí)，也對(duì)于應(yīng)試于事無(wú)補(bǔ)。
比如我再舉個(gè)例子，還是雅思考試的題目。
Computers are now widely used in education so the teachers are not as important as they were before computers were popular. Do you agree or disagree with this point?
范文
Compared with other human inventions and innovations, computers, the cold machines that are definitely devoid of soul, admittedly, have been playing a significant role in shaping and reflecting human life, study, and work patterns. Thus at one time the average public was flooded by the overwhelming written materials and advertisements advocating, or even exaggeratedly promoting, various computers and their affiliated software, making it hard for the people to distinguish the facts from fictions. Worst of all, some scholars and engineers even imprudently “forecast” that computers will finally replace or supersede teachers in education. On the strength of philosophical and scientific analysis in a far more profound and insightful way, I solemnly and firmly gainsay such a misguiding argument and put forward that never in history have any human made machines had superseded, in its strict sense, human beings, nor will they。
譯文
和其它人類得發(fā)明革新相比，計(jì)算機(jī)，這種毫無(wú)靈魂的冰冷機(jī)器，誠(chéng)然在塑造并反映人類工作，生活，和學(xué)習(xí)模式上起到重要得作用。因而，一度人們?yōu)槌彼愕?，大肆宣揚(yáng)甚至是夸張促銷計(jì)算機(jī)及其相關(guān)軟件的書(shū)面材料和廣告所包圍，使得一般公眾難辨真?zhèn)?。更有甚者，某些學(xué)者和工程人員不負(fù)責(zé)任地鼓吹計(jì)算機(jī)終會(huì)因其優(yōu)越行而取代教授。根據(jù)深刻致密的哲學(xué)和科學(xué)分析，我堅(jiān)定地，嚴(yán)肅地否定這種誤導(dǎo)性的論點(diǎn)。我指出，歷從來(lái)沒(méi)有任何機(jī)器，從嚴(yán)格的字面意義上講，曾經(jīng)取代過(guò)人類。將來(lái)也不會(huì)。
講解
這種文章，考生看到幾乎沒(méi)有不認(rèn)識(shí)的單詞，但是要是讓考生寫(xiě)出這樣的句子，筆者斗膽斷言，實(shí)在是：“蜀道難，難于上青天”。為什么會(huì)有這種現(xiàn)象出現(xiàn)呢？別人寫(xiě)，考生認(rèn)識(shí)，可是自己怎么也些不出來(lái)。什么原因呢？
道理非常簡(jiǎn)單：考生死記硬背單詞的漢語(yǔ)意義，而不是在英語(yǔ)的文章中學(xué)習(xí)單詞的用法和搭配。導(dǎo)致的后果就是寫(xiě)不出真正的文章。
針對(duì)這個(gè)問(wèn)題。筆者提出讀寫(xiě)教程的學(xué)習(xí)方法。學(xué)生是一些高中考不上大學(xué)的所謂“留學(xué)垃圾”(其實(shí)我本人反對(duì)這種說(shuō)法)。先看教學(xué)之前，考生的作文。我隨機(jī)從2000份作文中抽取兩篇，一字不差地原文轉(zhuǎn)載學(xué)生的習(xí)作：
學(xué)生作文之一 30分鐘
someone said that teachers not no longer useful, nevertheless I don’t agree it。
Now, computers are widely in all kinds of fields. And it is more and more important. But some of special fields computers can’t do any thing. For example, whe the child was young. They come to school. They can’t use any machine before. They need a warm hand from mother techer more than cold computer key. So I don’t agree it。
這是一名中國(guó)考生在30分鐘內(nèi)寫(xiě)的“文章”—— 其實(shí)，根本不是文章。錯(cuò)誤百出，時(shí)態(tài)混亂，動(dòng)詞錯(cuò)誤，邏輯關(guān)系不明等等錯(cuò)誤。
學(xué)生作文之二 30分鐘
Compared to the automobile or train, the bicycle nowadays tends to be more common as a transport. Some people are think that the bicycle is the best way to tour. I am of the opinion that riding bicycle has advantage and disadvantages。
To begin with, bicycle is the cheapest transport. In china, people just need spend RMB 400 to buy a high quality bicycle. The car, however, at least is spent RMB 40000. To many Chinese people, they prefer to buy a bicycle because they have no enough money to buy a car. Next, sometimes riding bicycle is more convenient than driving a car. For example, I have to spend 1 hour to drive car cover 10 miles during the rush hour from my home to my office in Beijing. At same distance, I only need 20 minutes by riding bicycle. Finally, I think the bicycle do not make heavy pollution to our environment。
這些文字是在中國(guó)考生中非常有代表性的。其他教師和考生可以閱讀類似的作文，然后進(jìn)行批改訓(xùn)練。提高自己的寫(xiě)作教學(xué)和寫(xiě)作能力。
根據(jù)這些情況，我在NATIONAL GEOGRAPHY 雜志上選取了部分含有考生需要的句型，首先進(jìn)行分析，然后讓學(xué)生模仿?？纯聪旅孢x取的一段文字：
The wolves play an integral part in the ecosystem in the archipelago, and their diet can offer scientists important clues about the dynamics between predator and prey。
Investigating the feces of the elusive wolves, Darimont found that their diets consist to a large extent of black-tailed deer. But he also found that their diets vary greatly depending on location. On the outer islands, for example, wolves are far less likely to have a deer for lunch than on the inner islands。
These findings suggest that wolves can deplete resources in isolated areas, making the link between the predators and their prey more delicate there。
The information is important for understanding not only island ecosystems, but also for conservation efforts. If scientists can understand how species behave on isolated islands, they may be able to figure out how the species will behave in other places that are becoming more fragmented。
選自：Canada"s Rain Forest Wolves a Link to Past
Stefan Lovgren October 1, 2004
從這段文字中，我首先教學(xué)生學(xué)習(xí)：
ecosystem
biota
biodiversity
play an integral part in
play a key role in
offer somebody something
dynamics between …and…
predators and prey
然后根據(jù)第二個(gè)段落，講解現(xiàn)在分詞短語(yǔ)結(jié)構(gòu)，
consist of consist to a large extent of
depend on depend to a large extent on
比較結(jié)構(gòu)的對(duì)稱性和倒裝性
be likely to do something
not only…but also…
然后指導(dǎo)學(xué)生學(xué)習(xí)寫(xiě)作：分析下面一篇學(xué)生作文：
Living in the big cities, people are more likely to forget the key roles that animals play in an ecosystem. But almost all animals can do good, directly or indirectly, to our life. For example, fish and shrimp offer not only foods but also scientific research materials. Birds in various colors and shapes offer scientists new clues to understand the dynamic between human and other animals. From this point of view, animals must be well protected。
這是，授課結(jié)束后，一個(gè)學(xué)生的寫(xiě)作。對(duì)比前后兩篇作文，明顯看到進(jìn)步。
如果我只是單純地講解單詞，學(xué)生不可那寫(xiě)出這樣的文章。但是，我給學(xué)生講解的完整的句子和句子之間的邏輯關(guān)系。就直接啟發(fā)學(xué)生的思維，導(dǎo)致分?jǐn)?shù)的提高。 從這個(gè)教學(xué)實(shí)例可以推出，教學(xué)生提高句子量，應(yīng)該是寫(xiě)作突破的方法之一。
在考生參加國(guó)內(nèi)英語(yǔ)考試寫(xiě)作，比如四級(jí)，六級(jí)，考研，在職碩士等領(lǐng)域，根本不應(yīng)該提及。否則對(duì)學(xué)生應(yīng)試分?jǐn)?shù)提高，造成誤導(dǎo)。為什么這樣說(shuō)呢？
第一個(gè)原因是：中國(guó)高中水平以上學(xué)生英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)，主要是積累詞匯，大部分考生已經(jīng)具備2000個(gè)英語(yǔ)詞匯。這對(duì)于基本生活中問(wèn)題的表達(dá)和闡述，以及應(yīng)付各種考試已經(jīng)綽綽有余。問(wèn)題是考生根本不會(huì)合理地使用自己已經(jīng)掌握的詞匯。如果自己已經(jīng)有的，不去合理利用，反而追求自己沒(méi)有的，豈不是非常荒謬？這是一個(gè)非常淺顯的道理：用好自己已經(jīng)有的資源！
現(xiàn)在我們考慮一道雅思作文題目：
Some people say that it wastes both time and money to protect animals while others say that it is useful to protect animals. What is your opinion?
如果指導(dǎo)學(xué)生用自己已經(jīng)掌握的單詞，完成這樣的作文考試，考生實(shí)際上可以考到8分。下面是一種寫(xiě)法：
What are the values of animals? Fish and shrimp give people foods; birds give poets new ideas and ideals; even a simple fly offer scientists new information for research. Clearly, animals are important. Then who can say that it is a waster of money to protect such important things? I believe that human should protect animals.
56 words
譯文：
動(dòng)物的價(jià)值是什么呢？魚(yú)和蝦給我們食物，鳥(niǎo)兒給詩(shī)人理想和靈感，甚至是簡(jiǎn)單的蒼蠅也為科學(xué)家提供新的研究信息。顯然，動(dòng)物是重要的。那么，誰(shuí)又能說(shuō)保護(hù)如此重要的動(dòng)物是浪費(fèi)呢？我認(rèn)為，人類應(yīng)該保護(hù)動(dòng)物。
使用復(fù)雜的詞匯寫(xiě)作
Cetaceans are not created to decorate the immense chaotic oceans or to offer poets or littérateurs aspirations or inspirations. Nor does falconry soar towards the empyrean and scud in the firmament to demonstrate His almightiness. Then humans, the wretched descendents of Adams as the scripture tells within the eon, have been meditating such questions as why creatures exist. Were they once created by the omnipotent God or what scientists termed as nature? Recently both philosophers and environmentalists ponder that whether or not human beings should carry out campaigns to salvage wildlife. The question is that such campaigns might constitute considerable deteriorate elements both to the flora and fauna。
譯文：
上帝創(chuàng)造鯨魚(yú)，并不是為了點(diǎn)綴那廣漠無(wú)垠喧囂混沌的海洋，也不是為了激發(fā)詩(shī)人或者文人騷客的靈感或者情感；鷹擊長(zhǎng)空，掠過(guò)天宇也不是為了證明自然的威力。人類，根據(jù)萬(wàn)古流傳的經(jīng)文傳說(shuō)，是那亞當(dāng)?shù)淖訉O，一直在思考著生物為什么存在于世的問(wèn)題。 究竟生物為萬(wàn)能的造物主所一時(shí)創(chuàng)造，還是科學(xué)家冠以為“自然”的呢？現(xiàn)在，無(wú)論哲學(xué)家還是環(huán)境保護(hù)主義者都在思考人類究竟是否要發(fā)起拯救動(dòng)物的行動(dòng)。問(wèn)題是諸如此類的救助行為可能成為惡化動(dòng)植物區(qū)系的因素。
講解：
前后兩篇范文都是出手不凡。但是，第二篇使用復(fù)雜的詞匯寫(xiě)作，一般考生會(huì)感到：此曲只應(yīng)天上有，人間能得幾回聞？但是第一篇范文完全使用考生熟悉的詞匯。
可以看出，能夠?qū)懗鋈绱肆鲿车淖魑?，并不是使用了?fù)雜的單詞，而是一種文章的結(jié)構(gòu)和作者的思路。實(shí)際上使用右面一欄的單詞，表達(dá)的思想完全可以用左面這些考生熟悉的詞匯完成?？荚囈罂忌鷮?xiě)出250個(gè)單詞的作文，二考生實(shí)際應(yīng)試需要的詞匯，多是200個(gè)。加上不同的作文題目的題材變化的考慮，考生用已經(jīng)掌握的2000個(gè)單詞可以取得非常高的分?jǐn)?shù)。 遺憾的不是考生詞匯量不夠，而是考生的腦海中根本沒(méi)有把這些單詞變成句子。中國(guó)學(xué)生學(xué)習(xí)英文仿佛就是背誦單詞。
作者本人就是在大學(xué)期間受這種錯(cuò)誤教學(xué)理念的誤導(dǎo)，背誦了一本新英漢字典，背了四年，背了至少不下千遍，可是寫(xiě)出的文章還是狗*不通。后來(lái)遇到了哈佛大學(xué)的朋友，她給了我一本BIBLE, 告訴我每天讀，注意句子的構(gòu)成和句子之間的關(guān)系。我開(kāi)始非常反感，認(rèn)為這是侮辱我的宗教信仰。當(dāng)時(shí)我甚至覺(jué)得這個(gè)朋友動(dòng)機(jī)不純，有拉我下水的惡意。
可是當(dāng)我讀到圣經(jīng)中優(yōu)美的句子時(shí)候，我甚至陶醉了，當(dāng)時(shí)我在北大未名湖畔，這樣的句子感動(dòng)了我：
you are the salt of the earth…
You are the light of the world…
will shine before humanity
這里面的美在于一種單純和簡(jiǎn)單。之后，我每日都讀圣經(jīng)，學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)表達(dá)的技術(shù)，久而久之，感悟到其中的美，就逐漸開(kāi)始欣賞英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)單詞匯表達(dá)的美麗和藝術(shù)。后來(lái)從學(xué)生變成老師，我教授美國(guó)文學(xué)和語(yǔ)言學(xué)，著重分析過(guò)ERNEST HEMINGWAY作品詞匯的樸素和執(zhí)著的表現(xiàn)力。在THE SUN ALSO RISE中，讀者完全可以品味如何用簡(jiǎn)單的詞匯表達(dá)高尚的人類思維。
其實(shí)，復(fù)雜的詞匯是學(xué)生一時(shí)半時(shí)無(wú)法掌握的，反而是簡(jiǎn)單的單詞如何用好，成為英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作應(yīng)試教學(xué)初級(jí)的主要課題。如果用好簡(jiǎn)單的詞匯，就可以逐步追求表達(dá)的準(zhǔn)確和精確，使用復(fù)雜的詞匯?？墒且婚_(kāi)始就鼓勵(lì)學(xué)生背誦大量的詞匯，既不現(xiàn)實(shí)，也對(duì)于應(yīng)試于事無(wú)補(bǔ)。
比如我再舉個(gè)例子，還是雅思考試的題目。
Computers are now widely used in education so the teachers are not as important as they were before computers were popular. Do you agree or disagree with this point?
范文
Compared with other human inventions and innovations, computers, the cold machines that are definitely devoid of soul, admittedly, have been playing a significant role in shaping and reflecting human life, study, and work patterns. Thus at one time the average public was flooded by the overwhelming written materials and advertisements advocating, or even exaggeratedly promoting, various computers and their affiliated software, making it hard for the people to distinguish the facts from fictions. Worst of all, some scholars and engineers even imprudently “forecast” that computers will finally replace or supersede teachers in education. On the strength of philosophical and scientific analysis in a far more profound and insightful way, I solemnly and firmly gainsay such a misguiding argument and put forward that never in history have any human made machines had superseded, in its strict sense, human beings, nor will they。
譯文
和其它人類得發(fā)明革新相比，計(jì)算機(jī)，這種毫無(wú)靈魂的冰冷機(jī)器，誠(chéng)然在塑造并反映人類工作，生活，和學(xué)習(xí)模式上起到重要得作用。因而，一度人們?yōu)槌彼愕?，大肆宣揚(yáng)甚至是夸張促銷計(jì)算機(jī)及其相關(guān)軟件的書(shū)面材料和廣告所包圍，使得一般公眾難辨真?zhèn)?。更有甚者，某些學(xué)者和工程人員不負(fù)責(zé)任地鼓吹計(jì)算機(jī)終會(huì)因其優(yōu)越行而取代教授。根據(jù)深刻致密的哲學(xué)和科學(xué)分析，我堅(jiān)定地，嚴(yán)肅地否定這種誤導(dǎo)性的論點(diǎn)。我指出，歷從來(lái)沒(méi)有任何機(jī)器，從嚴(yán)格的字面意義上講，曾經(jīng)取代過(guò)人類。將來(lái)也不會(huì)。
講解
這種文章，考生看到幾乎沒(méi)有不認(rèn)識(shí)的單詞，但是要是讓考生寫(xiě)出這樣的句子，筆者斗膽斷言，實(shí)在是：“蜀道難，難于上青天”。為什么會(huì)有這種現(xiàn)象出現(xiàn)呢？別人寫(xiě)，考生認(rèn)識(shí)，可是自己怎么也些不出來(lái)。什么原因呢？
道理非常簡(jiǎn)單：考生死記硬背單詞的漢語(yǔ)意義，而不是在英語(yǔ)的文章中學(xué)習(xí)單詞的用法和搭配。導(dǎo)致的后果就是寫(xiě)不出真正的文章。
針對(duì)這個(gè)問(wèn)題。筆者提出讀寫(xiě)教程的學(xué)習(xí)方法。學(xué)生是一些高中考不上大學(xué)的所謂“留學(xué)垃圾”(其實(shí)我本人反對(duì)這種說(shuō)法)。先看教學(xué)之前，考生的作文。我隨機(jī)從2000份作文中抽取兩篇，一字不差地原文轉(zhuǎn)載學(xué)生的習(xí)作：
學(xué)生作文之一 30分鐘
someone said that teachers not no longer useful, nevertheless I don’t agree it。
Now, computers are widely in all kinds of fields. And it is more and more important. But some of special fields computers can’t do any thing. For example, whe the child was young. They come to school. They can’t use any machine before. They need a warm hand from mother techer more than cold computer key. So I don’t agree it。
這是一名中國(guó)考生在30分鐘內(nèi)寫(xiě)的“文章”—— 其實(shí)，根本不是文章。錯(cuò)誤百出，時(shí)態(tài)混亂，動(dòng)詞錯(cuò)誤，邏輯關(guān)系不明等等錯(cuò)誤。
學(xué)生作文之二 30分鐘
Compared to the automobile or train, the bicycle nowadays tends to be more common as a transport. Some people are think that the bicycle is the best way to tour. I am of the opinion that riding bicycle has advantage and disadvantages。
To begin with, bicycle is the cheapest transport. In china, people just need spend RMB 400 to buy a high quality bicycle. The car, however, at least is spent RMB 40000. To many Chinese people, they prefer to buy a bicycle because they have no enough money to buy a car. Next, sometimes riding bicycle is more convenient than driving a car. For example, I have to spend 1 hour to drive car cover 10 miles during the rush hour from my home to my office in Beijing. At same distance, I only need 20 minutes by riding bicycle. Finally, I think the bicycle do not make heavy pollution to our environment。
這些文字是在中國(guó)考生中非常有代表性的。其他教師和考生可以閱讀類似的作文，然后進(jìn)行批改訓(xùn)練。提高自己的寫(xiě)作教學(xué)和寫(xiě)作能力。
根據(jù)這些情況，我在NATIONAL GEOGRAPHY 雜志上選取了部分含有考生需要的句型，首先進(jìn)行分析，然后讓學(xué)生模仿?？纯聪旅孢x取的一段文字：
The wolves play an integral part in the ecosystem in the archipelago, and their diet can offer scientists important clues about the dynamics between predator and prey。
Investigating the feces of the elusive wolves, Darimont found that their diets consist to a large extent of black-tailed deer. But he also found that their diets vary greatly depending on location. On the outer islands, for example, wolves are far less likely to have a deer for lunch than on the inner islands。
These findings suggest that wolves can deplete resources in isolated areas, making the link between the predators and their prey more delicate there。
The information is important for understanding not only island ecosystems, but also for conservation efforts. If scientists can understand how species behave on isolated islands, they may be able to figure out how the species will behave in other places that are becoming more fragmented。
選自：Canada"s Rain Forest Wolves a Link to Past
Stefan Lovgren October 1, 2004
從這段文字中，我首先教學(xué)生學(xué)習(xí)：
ecosystem
biota
biodiversity
play an integral part in
play a key role in
offer somebody something
dynamics between …and…
predators and prey
然后根據(jù)第二個(gè)段落，講解現(xiàn)在分詞短語(yǔ)結(jié)構(gòu)，
consist of consist to a large extent of
depend on depend to a large extent on
比較結(jié)構(gòu)的對(duì)稱性和倒裝性
be likely to do something
not only…but also…
然后指導(dǎo)學(xué)生學(xué)習(xí)寫(xiě)作：分析下面一篇學(xué)生作文：
Living in the big cities, people are more likely to forget the key roles that animals play in an ecosystem. But almost all animals can do good, directly or indirectly, to our life. For example, fish and shrimp offer not only foods but also scientific research materials. Birds in various colors and shapes offer scientists new clues to understand the dynamic between human and other animals. From this point of view, animals must be well protected。
這是，授課結(jié)束后，一個(gè)學(xué)生的寫(xiě)作。對(duì)比前后兩篇作文，明顯看到進(jìn)步。
如果我只是單純地講解單詞，學(xué)生不可那寫(xiě)出這樣的文章。但是，我給學(xué)生講解的完整的句子和句子之間的邏輯關(guān)系。就直接啟發(fā)學(xué)生的思維，導(dǎo)致分?jǐn)?shù)的提高。 從這個(gè)教學(xué)實(shí)例可以推出，教學(xué)生提高句子量，應(yīng)該是寫(xiě)作突破的方法之一。