修改意見:
What events make a person an adult? Different people have different answers. Some people think that getting married is the symbol of becoming an adult. Others, however, may believe that graduating from the high school will signify that their child become an adult. As far as I am concerned, I totally agree with the latter opinion that graduating from high school makes a person an adult. The reasons are presented as follows.(模板句，還是比較流利的）
...He also can choose the university which he likes by himself and never be controlled by his parents any more.
...that a person has already owned(had) the ability to live by himself. For instance, he can(could) cook meals and wash clothes for himself without the help of the family. ...
What’s more, after a person graduates from the high school, he has studied enough knowledge and skills to get a job in society and make(earn) his own money.
呵呵，開始能把模板套用得這么流利還是不錯滴。
寫到后來還是自己總結(jié)一套吧，其實寫得還是不錯的！
有一點關(guān)于ETS癖好的建議：如果想到了用can,就要考慮改成could,與其委婉些，留點余地，除非能肯定是不爭的事實。could,would在T，G考試中用得是比較多的。
呵呵，加油哦！
What events make a person an adult? Different people have different answers. Some people think that getting married is the symbol of becoming an adult. Others, however, may believe that graduating from the high school will signify that their child become an adult. As far as I am concerned, I totally agree with the latter opinion that graduating from high school makes a person an adult. The reasons are presented as follows.(模板句，還是比較流利的）
...He also can choose the university which he likes by himself and never be controlled by his parents any more.
...that a person has already owned(had) the ability to live by himself. For instance, he can(could) cook meals and wash clothes for himself without the help of the family. ...
What’s more, after a person graduates from the high school, he has studied enough knowledge and skills to get a job in society and make(earn) his own money.
呵呵，開始能把模板套用得這么流利還是不錯滴。
寫到后來還是自己總結(jié)一套吧，其實寫得還是不錯的！
有一點關(guān)于ETS癖好的建議：如果想到了用can,就要考慮改成could,與其委婉些，留點余地，除非能肯定是不爭的事實。could,would在T，G考試中用得是比較多的。
呵呵，加油哦！