你寫(xiě)我改:BEC評(píng)點(diǎn)網(wǎng)友作文(11)

字號(hào):

本期作文題目
    You need to inform your marketing team about a radio advertising campaign for one of your company's new products.
    Write an email to your team:
    * reminding tehm which new product it is
    * explaining why you've chosen to advertise on radio
    * saying what you expect the advertising campaign to achieve.
    Write 40-50 words.
    Sample:
    It is believed that everyone knows about our new product - TE 128, which will be launch ed recently. We will use radio advertising owing to our budget . I hope that the campaign will cover most of the cusomters we are having now and bring new ones.
    網(wǎng)友作文一:
    Dear All,
    Our new product advertising campain[1] for A02 auto-navigating instrument[2] is coming soon. As you know, radio is the most available for drivers. I believe we will make a gorgeous advertisement suitable for them.
    _________________________________________
    [1]這個(gè)名詞結(jié)構(gòu)太長(zhǎng)了,另外主體不清楚啊??辞宄}目要求,先remind 大家一下,可以用很多表示提醒的結(jié)構(gòu)。
    [2]英文中的"設(shè)備"有很多個(gè)詞,這個(gè)詞適合樂(lè)器,應(yīng)該搭配musical instrument, 這個(gè)地方比較合適用facility 或者 equipment
    網(wǎng)友作文二:
    To: marketing team
    Fr: coco218
    Date: Dec. 15th,2008
    Subject:a radio advertising campaign for new products
    Dear teammate,
    A new mobile phone[1] will be the next NEW ARRIVAL.And it will be advertised on radio because of our short of money[2] .I hope our marketing team could make out an attactive advertisement and the sale would hit 20% of the market share[3].
    Thanks.
    Regards.
    _________________________________________
    [1]這不對(duì)吧,你們公司原來(lái)不是做mobile phone 的?改為 new product 比較合適。
    [2]Shortage of money
    [3]畫(huà)蛇添足,sale 就是可以沖擊新高的,這和market share 有什么關(guān)系。
    網(wǎng)友作文三:
    To:All stuff
    From:Manager
    Date:Dec.16th 2008
    Subject:a radio advertisement of our new products
    I want to inform you our radio campaign for the new medicine.I think[1] many elders often listen to the radio and they are the are[2] in most need of our products,also advertising on radio is much cheaper than on TV,we can have more profits[3] or bring down the price[4].
    Thank you.
    _________________________________________
    [1]去掉這種主觀的表達(dá)。直接用后面的主語(yǔ)開(kāi)頭。
    [2]改為the ones
    [3]Maximize the margins.
    [4]去掉
    網(wǎng)友作文四:
    To: Marketing team
    From: Alvin
    Subject: radio advertising campaign for inverter transformer
    Dear All,
    The inverter transformer[1], as a new product of our company, need an advertisment now. Taking the aim customers'[2] habit into consideration, we decide to advertise on radio. We expect to make people accept our new product and get sale amount of 5 million USD within the first two months.
    Thanks!
    Best Regards!
    _________________________________________
    [1]既然是個(gè)產(chǎn)品,首字母應(yīng)該大寫(xiě)
    [2]這個(gè)叫target customer
    網(wǎng)友作文五:
    To: all salesmen
    From: Joe Lee, Marketing Manager
    Subject: launching an ad on radio
    I would like to inform all of you that I decide[1] to launch the advertisement of our new product of earphone on radio in that students are one of the major audience of radio and they are also our main consumers.[2]
    _________________________________________
    [1]改為:it is decided that.....
    [2]整個(gè)句子太長(zhǎng)了