亮點評析
原句平平淡淡，只是告訴人們要在社會立足，必須競爭，但這樣一句簡單的勸告似乎缺乏說服力，修改后的句子用了compete for survival，為了生存而競爭，而且后面又添加了一個并列分句，補(bǔ)充說明了如果不compete的后果就是be thrown out of the tide of society，被社會的浪潮所淘汰，使用這些更加具體深刻的詞匯能夠形象生動地表現(xiàn)出競爭的慘烈。
5.Original: I really believe that smoking is harmful to people’s health.
Revised: I have a profound conviction that smoking is harmful to people’s health.
亮點評析
conviction的意思是“堅定的看法或信仰”，have a profound conclusion表示對某種看法深信不疑，作文中提出觀點的句子用have a profound conclusion會比用believe態(tài)度更堅決，立場更鮮明，而且believe這個詞非常簡單，是英語初學(xué)者就應(yīng)掌握的詞匯，換成have a profound conclusion立即增加了句子的復(fù)雜程度，體現(xiàn)了較強(qiáng)的語言運用能力。類似的提出觀點的表達(dá)還有：
I hold a point of view that…
I hold the opinion that…
6.Original: We know that sometimes success is measured by how much money you earn.
Revised: It does not surprise us to discover that sometimes success is measured in terms of the money you earn.
亮點評析
如上句的believe一樣，know也是非常初級的詞匯，作文中出現(xiàn)I believe that…，I know that…這樣的表達(dá)只能體現(xiàn)考生寫作技巧的稚嫩，用It does not surprise us to discover that…替換We know that…并沒有改變原句的含義，卻使全句頓時增添了亮點。
7.Original: We all know that most factories would be of no use if there were not clean water supply.
Revised: It goes without saying that most factories would be of no use if there were not clean water supply.
亮點評析
同上例一樣，know這樣的初級詞匯應(yīng)避免在作文中使用，It goes without saying that…是一個固定結(jié)構(gòu)，意思是“……是不言而喻的”，常在作文中用來引經(jīng)據(jù)典或表明一個盡人皆知的道理，類似的表達(dá)還有：
An old saying goes that…
Proverb goes that…
It is universally acknowledged that…
It is generally accepted that…
8.Original: Some other people think that people should read extensively.
Revised: Another position says that people should read extensively.
亮點評析
同know，believe一樣，think也應(yīng)該盡量避免使用，修改后的句子中是用Another position says that…代替think提出另一種觀點，也可以用hold a point of view，hold the opinion這樣的短語替換。
9.Original: The unexpected win of the match give us confidence.
Revised: The unexpected win of the match boost our confidence.
亮點評析
give也屬于英語中最初級、最基本的詞匯，只表示“給，給予”這個動作，不涉及動作的性質(zhì)和狀態(tài)，若表示增添信心，增強(qiáng)士氣，比較地道的說法是用boost confidence/morale，如：The change of management has boosted morale throughout the company. 管理模式的改變使整個公司上下士氣倍受鼓舞。
10.Original: The use of drugs has increased greatly in the last ten years.
Revised: The use of drugs has increased significantly in the last ten years.
亮點評析
greatly是一般用語，表示程度高，“很，非常”，使用相當(dāng)普遍而沒有新意，在寫作中應(yīng)盡量避免使用這些通俗而又陳舊的詞匯，應(yīng)換用一些更加正式，更有說服力的詞語，例如significantly表示達(dá)到了非常重要的或可觀的程度，“重大的，可觀的”，能夠具體說明藥品使用方面，增長幅度巨大。significantly還可以替換成considerably，tremendously等，同樣具有不錯的表達(dá)效果。
原句平平淡淡，只是告訴人們要在社會立足，必須競爭，但這樣一句簡單的勸告似乎缺乏說服力，修改后的句子用了compete for survival，為了生存而競爭，而且后面又添加了一個并列分句，補(bǔ)充說明了如果不compete的后果就是be thrown out of the tide of society，被社會的浪潮所淘汰，使用這些更加具體深刻的詞匯能夠形象生動地表現(xiàn)出競爭的慘烈。
5.Original: I really believe that smoking is harmful to people’s health.
Revised: I have a profound conviction that smoking is harmful to people’s health.
亮點評析
conviction的意思是“堅定的看法或信仰”，have a profound conclusion表示對某種看法深信不疑，作文中提出觀點的句子用have a profound conclusion會比用believe態(tài)度更堅決，立場更鮮明，而且believe這個詞非常簡單，是英語初學(xué)者就應(yīng)掌握的詞匯，換成have a profound conclusion立即增加了句子的復(fù)雜程度，體現(xiàn)了較強(qiáng)的語言運用能力。類似的提出觀點的表達(dá)還有：
I hold a point of view that…
I hold the opinion that…
6.Original: We know that sometimes success is measured by how much money you earn.
Revised: It does not surprise us to discover that sometimes success is measured in terms of the money you earn.
亮點評析
如上句的believe一樣，know也是非常初級的詞匯，作文中出現(xiàn)I believe that…，I know that…這樣的表達(dá)只能體現(xiàn)考生寫作技巧的稚嫩，用It does not surprise us to discover that…替換We know that…并沒有改變原句的含義，卻使全句頓時增添了亮點。
7.Original: We all know that most factories would be of no use if there were not clean water supply.
Revised: It goes without saying that most factories would be of no use if there were not clean water supply.
亮點評析
同上例一樣，know這樣的初級詞匯應(yīng)避免在作文中使用，It goes without saying that…是一個固定結(jié)構(gòu)，意思是“……是不言而喻的”，常在作文中用來引經(jīng)據(jù)典或表明一個盡人皆知的道理，類似的表達(dá)還有：
An old saying goes that…
Proverb goes that…
It is universally acknowledged that…
It is generally accepted that…
8.Original: Some other people think that people should read extensively.
Revised: Another position says that people should read extensively.
亮點評析
同know，believe一樣，think也應(yīng)該盡量避免使用，修改后的句子中是用Another position says that…代替think提出另一種觀點，也可以用hold a point of view，hold the opinion這樣的短語替換。
9.Original: The unexpected win of the match give us confidence.
Revised: The unexpected win of the match boost our confidence.
亮點評析
give也屬于英語中最初級、最基本的詞匯，只表示“給，給予”這個動作，不涉及動作的性質(zhì)和狀態(tài)，若表示增添信心，增強(qiáng)士氣，比較地道的說法是用boost confidence/morale，如：The change of management has boosted morale throughout the company. 管理模式的改變使整個公司上下士氣倍受鼓舞。
10.Original: The use of drugs has increased greatly in the last ten years.
Revised: The use of drugs has increased significantly in the last ten years.
亮點評析
greatly是一般用語，表示程度高，“很，非常”，使用相當(dāng)普遍而沒有新意，在寫作中應(yīng)盡量避免使用這些通俗而又陳舊的詞匯，應(yīng)換用一些更加正式，更有說服力的詞語，例如significantly表示達(dá)到了非常重要的或可觀的程度，“重大的，可觀的”，能夠具體說明藥品使用方面，增長幅度巨大。significantly還可以替換成considerably，tremendously等，同樣具有不錯的表達(dá)效果。