5 A 5 paper presents a well-developed analysis of the complexities of the issue and demonstrates a strong control of the elements of effective writing.
看著這個(gè)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)覺不覺得似曾相識(shí)呢？是的，和6分作文的差距只是三個(gè)詞，六分作文要求的是cogent，well-articulated analysis,還有對(duì)語言的要求是mastery of the elements of effective wrting.
附六分相應(yīng)的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)：
A 6 paper presents a cogent, well-articulated analysis of the complexities of the issue and demonstrates mastery of the elements of effective writing.
但是大家注意到?jīng)]有，ETS對(duì)二者的共同要求都是: effective writing.這里我問一個(gè)問題，大家對(duì)這個(gè)好象是似乎是理解的，但是誰可以給我一個(gè)確切的effective writing的答案？到底什么是effective writing?他有什么樣的特點(diǎn)？運(yùn)用什么樣的devices才可以讓我的writing變得effective?這個(gè)答案我有，但是我想讓大家自問一下然后跟貼寫出自己的理解來，這個(gè)題目的討論結(jié)束后我會(huì)給大家一個(gè)確切的答案。ETS的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)寫的似乎很簡(jiǎn)單明了，但是實(shí)際上里面的陷阱不少。
SAMPLE-2 (score 5)
Specialists are not overrated today.開篇的第一句就和6分作文有差距了。More generalists may be needed, but not to overshadow the specialists. Generalists can provide a great deal of information on many topics of interest with a broad range of ideas. People who look at the overall view of things can help with some of the large problems our society faces today. But specialists are necessary to gain a better understanding of more in depth methods to solve problems or fixing things.
看完了這個(gè)開頭部分，大家再想想昨天評(píng)過的6分文章，差距就是差距啊，這個(gè)1分的差距還很大呢。這個(gè)5分的例文顯然就沒有6分的簡(jiǎn)介一針見血的感覺。而且語言不夠簡(jiǎn)練。這個(gè)文章開頭的general statement就只是解釋了對(duì)topic的理解，不夠深刻。而且這第一段的最后三句話完全可以變成一句話用定語從句套著來寫，這樣句式也就相對(duì)的復(fù)雜多了，也簡(jiǎn)潔多了。這個(gè)看起來，這個(gè)開頭，只能說是剛跳出了個(gè)4分的高度，如果后面文章的結(jié)構(gòu)組織的好并且事例充足或者論證的比較嚴(yán)密還是可以達(dá)到個(gè)4。5---5。5的，但是6分這個(gè)的開頭是基本沒希望咯。
One good example of why specialists are not overrated is in the medical field.圈了個(gè)范圍開始例證specialist的重要了。Doctors are necessary for people to live healthy lives. When a person is sick, he may go to a general practitioner to find out the cause of his problems. Usually, this kind of "generalized" doctor can help most ailments with simple and effective treatments. Sometimes, though, a sickness may go beyond a family doctor's knowledge or the prescribed treatments don't work the way they should. When a sickness progresses or becomes diagnosed as a disease that requires more care than a family doctor can provide, he may be referred to a specialist. For instance, a person with constant breathing problems that require hospitalization may be suggested to visit an asthma specialist. Since a family doctor has a great deal of knowledge of medicine, he can decide when his methods are not effective and the patient needs to see someone who knows more about the specific problem; someone who knows how it begins, progresses, and specified treatments. This is an excellent example of how a generalied person may not be equipped enough to handle something as well as a specialized one can.
這個(gè)部分是說在medical這個(gè)領(lǐng)域里面，通才和專才之間的區(qū)別，不同的stage需要不同類型的人。這個(gè)例子的好處是不是說特定的人，把范圍擴(kuò)展到了更大的一個(gè)范圍，換句話講就是在一個(gè)大范圍內(nèi)有普遍的意義。
Another example of a specialist who is needed instead of a generalist involves teaching. In grammar school, children learn all the basic principles of reading, writing, and arithematic. But as children get older and progress in school, they gain a better understanding of the language and mathematical processes. As the years in school increase, they need to learn more and more specifics and details about various subjects. They start out by learning basic math concepts such as addition, subtraction, division, and multiplication. A few years later, they are ready to begin algebraic concepts, geometry, and calculus. They are also ready to learn more advanced vocabulary, the principles of how all life is composed and how it functions. One teacher or professor can not provide as much in depth discussion on all of these topics as well as one who has learned the specifics and studied mainly to know everything that is currently known about one of these subjects.引出了specialists的作用。
Generalized teachers are required to begin molding students at a very early age so they can get ready for the future ahead of them in gaining more facts about the basic subjects and finding out new facts on the old ones.
講generalists和specialists之間的在學(xué)習(xí)方面的區(qū)別和分工。這個(gè)例子也是沒有限定到個(gè)人的experience而是從一個(gè)一般的角度來論述也有著普遍意義，并不是特例。
總結(jié)一下這兩個(gè)例子的段落的語言，都是比較平實(shí)，不是很精練精彩，只是一般般。但是表達(dá)意思方面卻很準(zhǔn)確，所以不會(huì)贏得很高的分?jǐn)?shù)但是也不會(huì)失分很多。中歸中矩。
These are only two examples of why specialists are not highly overrated and more generalists are not necessary to the point of overshadowing them. Generalists are needed to give the public a broad understanding of some things. But , specialists are important to help maintain the status, health, and safety of our society. Specialists are very necessary.
最后的總結(jié)里面又把兩者結(jié)合了一下來說兩者都是很重要的。再回憶一下以前說過的文章，幾乎沒有一個(gè)文章是完全的否定一個(gè)方面來絕對(duì)的贊同自己認(rèn)為正確的一個(gè)方面的，都是采取辨證的方法來論述的。這個(gè)其實(shí)是很好的方法，尤其是你自己的思辯的能力，對(duì)英文掌握的能力沒有達(dá)到一個(gè)非常高的高度的時(shí)候，用這樣兩面都說的比較保守的方法是比較保險(xiǎn)的。畢竟我們是在考試，求的是一個(gè)比較讓人滿意的分?jǐn)?shù)而不是在參加辯論會(huì)，一定要絕對(duì)支持自己選擇的角度(在辯論會(huì)里面一般所提供的角度都是絕對(duì)化的)。
下面我們來一起看看這個(gè)ETS的reader來給的評(píng)價(jià)：
COMMENTARY
The essay presents a well-developed analysis of the complexities of the issue by discussing the need for both the generalist and the specialist.
肯定了這個(gè)文章達(dá)到了5分作文的要求。
This writer's argument is rooted in two extended examples, both well chosen and effective.例證基本上有效的支持了自己的觀點(diǎn)。The first (paragraph 2) begins with a discussion of the necessity for medical generalists (the general practitioner) as well as specialists and moves into an example within the example (breathing problems and the need for an asthma specialist). This extension from the general to the specific characterizes the example in the next paragraph as well. There, the discussion centers on education from elementary to high school, from basic arithmetic to calculus.
Smoothness of development is aided by the use of good transitions: "but," "usually," and "for instance," among others. The essay ends by revisiting the writer's thesis.
有連接詞來比較smoothly的連接段落句子。并且結(jié)尾呼應(yīng)了文章的主題。
While the writer handles both language and syntax well, some bothersome problems keep this otherwise well-argued response out of the 6 category.
來陳述既然這么多優(yōu)點(diǎn)但是為什么沒有給評(píng)6分的原因。這個(gè)部分大家一定要注意。
The problems vary from the lack of a pronoun referent指代不明("When a sickness progresses or becomes diagnosed, he may be referred to a specialist") to an error in parallel structure寫平行結(jié)構(gòu)的時(shí)候出現(xiàn)的問題("how it begins, progresses and specified treatments"), to loose syntax松散的句式and imprecise language不十分準(zhǔn)確的語言("Generalized teachers are required to begin molding students at a very early age so they can get ready for the future ahead of them in gaining more facts about the basic subjects")
仔細(xì)看過同樣題目的兩個(gè)文章大家可以非常清楚的體會(huì)到滿分文章和5分文章之間的差距。
大家準(zhǔn)備作文的時(shí)候，一定要從ETS的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來下手注意提高自己的寫作水平。其實(shí)，ETS這個(gè)5/6分文章的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)恰恰是作為一個(gè)effective writer所應(yīng)該具備的幾個(gè)條條框框。如果想讓自己在國(guó)外的寫論文的日子好過點(diǎn)，被要求返工的次數(shù)少點(diǎn)，就要從最基本的地方下手來逐步提高，按照這些要求來做。因?yàn)镋TS這個(gè)GRE WRITING就是測(cè)試你是不是具備了一定的寫學(xué)術(shù)文章的能力的。
而如果可以在準(zhǔn)備這個(gè)考試的過程當(dāng)中全面提高自己的英文寫作水平，這個(gè)對(duì)大家在以后的學(xué)習(xí)日子里面也肯定是受益匪淺的。
今天的這個(gè)點(diǎn)評(píng)就到此為止了，大家不要忘記今天你有一個(gè)問題需要你來想想，就是什么是effective writing，你要如何做才會(huì)被認(rèn)為是一個(gè)effective writer.這個(gè)對(duì)寫作來講是一個(gè)至關(guān)重要的概念，必須要知道而且深刻體會(huì)的。
看著這個(gè)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)覺不覺得似曾相識(shí)呢？是的，和6分作文的差距只是三個(gè)詞，六分作文要求的是cogent，well-articulated analysis,還有對(duì)語言的要求是mastery of the elements of effective wrting.
附六分相應(yīng)的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)：
A 6 paper presents a cogent, well-articulated analysis of the complexities of the issue and demonstrates mastery of the elements of effective writing.
但是大家注意到?jīng)]有，ETS對(duì)二者的共同要求都是: effective writing.這里我問一個(gè)問題，大家對(duì)這個(gè)好象是似乎是理解的，但是誰可以給我一個(gè)確切的effective writing的答案？到底什么是effective writing?他有什么樣的特點(diǎn)？運(yùn)用什么樣的devices才可以讓我的writing變得effective?這個(gè)答案我有，但是我想讓大家自問一下然后跟貼寫出自己的理解來，這個(gè)題目的討論結(jié)束后我會(huì)給大家一個(gè)確切的答案。ETS的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)寫的似乎很簡(jiǎn)單明了，但是實(shí)際上里面的陷阱不少。
SAMPLE-2 (score 5)
Specialists are not overrated today.開篇的第一句就和6分作文有差距了。More generalists may be needed, but not to overshadow the specialists. Generalists can provide a great deal of information on many topics of interest with a broad range of ideas. People who look at the overall view of things can help with some of the large problems our society faces today. But specialists are necessary to gain a better understanding of more in depth methods to solve problems or fixing things.
看完了這個(gè)開頭部分，大家再想想昨天評(píng)過的6分文章，差距就是差距啊，這個(gè)1分的差距還很大呢。這個(gè)5分的例文顯然就沒有6分的簡(jiǎn)介一針見血的感覺。而且語言不夠簡(jiǎn)練。這個(gè)文章開頭的general statement就只是解釋了對(duì)topic的理解，不夠深刻。而且這第一段的最后三句話完全可以變成一句話用定語從句套著來寫，這樣句式也就相對(duì)的復(fù)雜多了，也簡(jiǎn)潔多了。這個(gè)看起來，這個(gè)開頭，只能說是剛跳出了個(gè)4分的高度，如果后面文章的結(jié)構(gòu)組織的好并且事例充足或者論證的比較嚴(yán)密還是可以達(dá)到個(gè)4。5---5。5的，但是6分這個(gè)的開頭是基本沒希望咯。
One good example of why specialists are not overrated is in the medical field.圈了個(gè)范圍開始例證specialist的重要了。Doctors are necessary for people to live healthy lives. When a person is sick, he may go to a general practitioner to find out the cause of his problems. Usually, this kind of "generalized" doctor can help most ailments with simple and effective treatments. Sometimes, though, a sickness may go beyond a family doctor's knowledge or the prescribed treatments don't work the way they should. When a sickness progresses or becomes diagnosed as a disease that requires more care than a family doctor can provide, he may be referred to a specialist. For instance, a person with constant breathing problems that require hospitalization may be suggested to visit an asthma specialist. Since a family doctor has a great deal of knowledge of medicine, he can decide when his methods are not effective and the patient needs to see someone who knows more about the specific problem; someone who knows how it begins, progresses, and specified treatments. This is an excellent example of how a generalied person may not be equipped enough to handle something as well as a specialized one can.
這個(gè)部分是說在medical這個(gè)領(lǐng)域里面，通才和專才之間的區(qū)別，不同的stage需要不同類型的人。這個(gè)例子的好處是不是說特定的人，把范圍擴(kuò)展到了更大的一個(gè)范圍，換句話講就是在一個(gè)大范圍內(nèi)有普遍的意義。
Another example of a specialist who is needed instead of a generalist involves teaching. In grammar school, children learn all the basic principles of reading, writing, and arithematic. But as children get older and progress in school, they gain a better understanding of the language and mathematical processes. As the years in school increase, they need to learn more and more specifics and details about various subjects. They start out by learning basic math concepts such as addition, subtraction, division, and multiplication. A few years later, they are ready to begin algebraic concepts, geometry, and calculus. They are also ready to learn more advanced vocabulary, the principles of how all life is composed and how it functions. One teacher or professor can not provide as much in depth discussion on all of these topics as well as one who has learned the specifics and studied mainly to know everything that is currently known about one of these subjects.引出了specialists的作用。
Generalized teachers are required to begin molding students at a very early age so they can get ready for the future ahead of them in gaining more facts about the basic subjects and finding out new facts on the old ones.
講generalists和specialists之間的在學(xué)習(xí)方面的區(qū)別和分工。這個(gè)例子也是沒有限定到個(gè)人的experience而是從一個(gè)一般的角度來論述也有著普遍意義，并不是特例。
總結(jié)一下這兩個(gè)例子的段落的語言，都是比較平實(shí)，不是很精練精彩，只是一般般。但是表達(dá)意思方面卻很準(zhǔn)確，所以不會(huì)贏得很高的分?jǐn)?shù)但是也不會(huì)失分很多。中歸中矩。
These are only two examples of why specialists are not highly overrated and more generalists are not necessary to the point of overshadowing them. Generalists are needed to give the public a broad understanding of some things. But , specialists are important to help maintain the status, health, and safety of our society. Specialists are very necessary.
最后的總結(jié)里面又把兩者結(jié)合了一下來說兩者都是很重要的。再回憶一下以前說過的文章，幾乎沒有一個(gè)文章是完全的否定一個(gè)方面來絕對(duì)的贊同自己認(rèn)為正確的一個(gè)方面的，都是采取辨證的方法來論述的。這個(gè)其實(shí)是很好的方法，尤其是你自己的思辯的能力，對(duì)英文掌握的能力沒有達(dá)到一個(gè)非常高的高度的時(shí)候，用這樣兩面都說的比較保守的方法是比較保險(xiǎn)的。畢竟我們是在考試，求的是一個(gè)比較讓人滿意的分?jǐn)?shù)而不是在參加辯論會(huì)，一定要絕對(duì)支持自己選擇的角度(在辯論會(huì)里面一般所提供的角度都是絕對(duì)化的)。
下面我們來一起看看這個(gè)ETS的reader來給的評(píng)價(jià)：
COMMENTARY
The essay presents a well-developed analysis of the complexities of the issue by discussing the need for both the generalist and the specialist.
肯定了這個(gè)文章達(dá)到了5分作文的要求。
This writer's argument is rooted in two extended examples, both well chosen and effective.例證基本上有效的支持了自己的觀點(diǎn)。The first (paragraph 2) begins with a discussion of the necessity for medical generalists (the general practitioner) as well as specialists and moves into an example within the example (breathing problems and the need for an asthma specialist). This extension from the general to the specific characterizes the example in the next paragraph as well. There, the discussion centers on education from elementary to high school, from basic arithmetic to calculus.
Smoothness of development is aided by the use of good transitions: "but," "usually," and "for instance," among others. The essay ends by revisiting the writer's thesis.
有連接詞來比較smoothly的連接段落句子。并且結(jié)尾呼應(yīng)了文章的主題。
While the writer handles both language and syntax well, some bothersome problems keep this otherwise well-argued response out of the 6 category.
來陳述既然這么多優(yōu)點(diǎn)但是為什么沒有給評(píng)6分的原因。這個(gè)部分大家一定要注意。
The problems vary from the lack of a pronoun referent指代不明("When a sickness progresses or becomes diagnosed, he may be referred to a specialist") to an error in parallel structure寫平行結(jié)構(gòu)的時(shí)候出現(xiàn)的問題("how it begins, progresses and specified treatments"), to loose syntax松散的句式and imprecise language不十分準(zhǔn)確的語言("Generalized teachers are required to begin molding students at a very early age so they can get ready for the future ahead of them in gaining more facts about the basic subjects")
仔細(xì)看過同樣題目的兩個(gè)文章大家可以非常清楚的體會(huì)到滿分文章和5分文章之間的差距。
大家準(zhǔn)備作文的時(shí)候，一定要從ETS的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來下手注意提高自己的寫作水平。其實(shí)，ETS這個(gè)5/6分文章的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)恰恰是作為一個(gè)effective writer所應(yīng)該具備的幾個(gè)條條框框。如果想讓自己在國(guó)外的寫論文的日子好過點(diǎn)，被要求返工的次數(shù)少點(diǎn)，就要從最基本的地方下手來逐步提高，按照這些要求來做。因?yàn)镋TS這個(gè)GRE WRITING就是測(cè)試你是不是具備了一定的寫學(xué)術(shù)文章的能力的。
而如果可以在準(zhǔn)備這個(gè)考試的過程當(dāng)中全面提高自己的英文寫作水平，這個(gè)對(duì)大家在以后的學(xué)習(xí)日子里面也肯定是受益匪淺的。
今天的這個(gè)點(diǎn)評(píng)就到此為止了，大家不要忘記今天你有一個(gè)問題需要你來想想，就是什么是effective writing，你要如何做才會(huì)被認(rèn)為是一個(gè)effective writer.這個(gè)對(duì)寫作來講是一個(gè)至關(guān)重要的概念，必須要知道而且深刻體會(huì)的。