原作：mollyj點(diǎn)評(píng)：閑情
題目：051 "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
Syllabus：
1.bring out the question-reality:2 facets
2.analysis
for: individual difference education purpose-bring out the best of everybody,and cite analogy of vegetable and disease methodology against:practical
3.solution really realize the specifical design. depend on the real condition
正文：
In the modern world, more and more people have access to education. Consequently, it is increasingly difficult to provide specifically designed education for each student. But, one thing remains true that only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student will education be truly effective.
People are born so different from each other that even two persons raised in the same environment are not likely to have exactly the same talents, dispositions and thus interests. Some are quiet in nature, and prefer reading books and doing researches; others are enthusiasm(這里用錯(cuò)了，呵呵，，應(yīng)該是enthusiastic) in sports. First, there are physiological reasons for such phenomena as that. To put it most simple and general, a human brain has two parts, right and left, dealing with different kinds of problems by different way of thinking, and different people may be prone to develop different parts, and still different parts within either right or left part of brain. So people choose their interests partly according to the way of thinking of their brains. Second, what people learn before their school education have a significant effect on their future choice
(其實(shí)我覺(jué)得這里只要強(qiáng)調(diào)每個(gè)人境遇不同就可以。說(shuō)學(xué)前階段境域不同，稍微有點(diǎn)扯遠(yuǎn)了，反而有點(diǎn)讓人迷惑。呵呵).
What they see, hear and read, such as parents’behavior, other people around them will influence their interests as well as the inbred factors. Those and many other things can serve as the main reasons for the individual differences.
Seeing the diversity of people, how will education be more effective if it want(這里忘記加s) to bring out the best of as many as possible people?(as many as放到the best前面好了?，F(xiàn)在這樣有點(diǎn)怪啊) What about the scene described in J.B.Priestley's "thoughts in the wilderness"(and as I paraphrase it):"a nightmare vision of a future world in which there are millions of people, all numbered and registered, without a gleam of genius anywhere, not an original mind, a rich personality on the whole packed globe."
The answer is clear. Cactus will thrive in scorching places, while reed needs plenty of water. Just like the various conditions that different kinds of plants require to grow well, education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each students.
So the specifically designed education is called for. Someone will(用may更好些) argue that we already have the highly specified disciplines in each of (少the fields，這里不能直接連which的)which we are producing many experts in certain fields. But we have to ask: does each student in his major feel that his major is the very subject just he desires? The fact is not so optimistic. As a (應(yīng)是an，粗心了)educationalist point it out, one of the main reasons of college pressure is(少that,這里不可省略) students are studying what they are not willing to study. Carrying out specifically designed education still has a long way to go.
Until then, education will effectively realize its purpose of bringing out the best of everyone.
寫(xiě)的很不錯(cuò)！很流暢，語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤也少，意思表達(dá)得很明白，也有閃光的idea。我看可以打5分。
幾個(gè)建議：你第一段就擺明觀點(diǎn)，這樣很好。但是在你的觀點(diǎn)之后再加一句“as the purpose of education is to bring out the best of everyone”(當(dāng)然，這句話出現(xiàn)了不只一次，你可以換幾個(gè)詞，要避免重復(fù))。為什么呢？因?yàn)閷?duì)于教育的目的理論界有不同的看法，你的觀點(diǎn)可以認(rèn)為是其中一種，是比較humane的，側(cè)重人文理想在現(xiàn)實(shí)中的實(shí)踐。而還有別的目的，比如為機(jī)器化生產(chǎn)和日益分工細(xì)化的社會(huì)提供能夠嫻熟操作的工人和高級(jí)職員，為政府提供可以按程序管理社會(huì)的文員和官員。對(duì)這樣的目的來(lái)說(shuō)，specifically designed education就不見(jiàn)得是一件好事，而且成本實(shí)在太高。對(duì)教師的要求也太高了。等等。所以，為了讓你后面的行文有依據(jù)，一開(kāi)頭就定義你的教育目的。
另外，你論述的論點(diǎn)似乎還少了點(diǎn)。尤其到后面，有點(diǎn)匆匆結(jié)尾的感覺(jué)。其實(shí)你還可以說(shuō)，社會(huì)分工細(xì)化，一個(gè)年輕人在工作之前，也不可能學(xué)完所有的知識(shí)和技能。反倒是specifically designed education可以讓他們更專注于自己想學(xué)的東西，這是順應(yīng)分工細(xì)化的潮流的。
還有，不論是文學(xué)、藝術(shù)、建筑等領(lǐng)域，在任何一個(gè)學(xué)術(shù)領(lǐng)域，都越來(lái)越要求originality。這是靠“大規(guī)模生產(chǎn)式”的教育所不能夠產(chǎn)生的。惟有通過(guò)因材施教，才能讓年輕人有足夠的時(shí)間和精力來(lái)潛心研究自己的所愛(ài)，從而達(dá)到創(chuàng)新。
題目：051 "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
Syllabus：
1.bring out the question-reality:2 facets
2.analysis
for: individual difference education purpose-bring out the best of everybody,and cite analogy of vegetable and disease methodology against:practical
3.solution really realize the specifical design. depend on the real condition
正文：
In the modern world, more and more people have access to education. Consequently, it is increasingly difficult to provide specifically designed education for each student. But, one thing remains true that only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student will education be truly effective.
People are born so different from each other that even two persons raised in the same environment are not likely to have exactly the same talents, dispositions and thus interests. Some are quiet in nature, and prefer reading books and doing researches; others are enthusiasm(這里用錯(cuò)了，呵呵，，應(yīng)該是enthusiastic) in sports. First, there are physiological reasons for such phenomena as that. To put it most simple and general, a human brain has two parts, right and left, dealing with different kinds of problems by different way of thinking, and different people may be prone to develop different parts, and still different parts within either right or left part of brain. So people choose their interests partly according to the way of thinking of their brains. Second, what people learn before their school education have a significant effect on their future choice
(其實(shí)我覺(jué)得這里只要強(qiáng)調(diào)每個(gè)人境遇不同就可以。說(shuō)學(xué)前階段境域不同，稍微有點(diǎn)扯遠(yuǎn)了，反而有點(diǎn)讓人迷惑。呵呵).
What they see, hear and read, such as parents’behavior, other people around them will influence their interests as well as the inbred factors. Those and many other things can serve as the main reasons for the individual differences.
Seeing the diversity of people, how will education be more effective if it want(這里忘記加s) to bring out the best of as many as possible people?(as many as放到the best前面好了?，F(xiàn)在這樣有點(diǎn)怪啊) What about the scene described in J.B.Priestley's "thoughts in the wilderness"(and as I paraphrase it):"a nightmare vision of a future world in which there are millions of people, all numbered and registered, without a gleam of genius anywhere, not an original mind, a rich personality on the whole packed globe."
The answer is clear. Cactus will thrive in scorching places, while reed needs plenty of water. Just like the various conditions that different kinds of plants require to grow well, education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each students.
So the specifically designed education is called for. Someone will(用may更好些) argue that we already have the highly specified disciplines in each of (少the fields，這里不能直接連which的)which we are producing many experts in certain fields. But we have to ask: does each student in his major feel that his major is the very subject just he desires? The fact is not so optimistic. As a (應(yīng)是an，粗心了)educationalist point it out, one of the main reasons of college pressure is(少that,這里不可省略) students are studying what they are not willing to study. Carrying out specifically designed education still has a long way to go.
Until then, education will effectively realize its purpose of bringing out the best of everyone.
寫(xiě)的很不錯(cuò)！很流暢，語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤也少，意思表達(dá)得很明白，也有閃光的idea。我看可以打5分。
幾個(gè)建議：你第一段就擺明觀點(diǎn)，這樣很好。但是在你的觀點(diǎn)之后再加一句“as the purpose of education is to bring out the best of everyone”(當(dāng)然，這句話出現(xiàn)了不只一次，你可以換幾個(gè)詞，要避免重復(fù))。為什么呢？因?yàn)閷?duì)于教育的目的理論界有不同的看法，你的觀點(diǎn)可以認(rèn)為是其中一種，是比較humane的，側(cè)重人文理想在現(xiàn)實(shí)中的實(shí)踐。而還有別的目的，比如為機(jī)器化生產(chǎn)和日益分工細(xì)化的社會(huì)提供能夠嫻熟操作的工人和高級(jí)職員，為政府提供可以按程序管理社會(huì)的文員和官員。對(duì)這樣的目的來(lái)說(shuō)，specifically designed education就不見(jiàn)得是一件好事，而且成本實(shí)在太高。對(duì)教師的要求也太高了。等等。所以，為了讓你后面的行文有依據(jù)，一開(kāi)頭就定義你的教育目的。
另外，你論述的論點(diǎn)似乎還少了點(diǎn)。尤其到后面，有點(diǎn)匆匆結(jié)尾的感覺(jué)。其實(shí)你還可以說(shuō)，社會(huì)分工細(xì)化，一個(gè)年輕人在工作之前，也不可能學(xué)完所有的知識(shí)和技能。反倒是specifically designed education可以讓他們更專注于自己想學(xué)的東西，這是順應(yīng)分工細(xì)化的潮流的。
還有，不論是文學(xué)、藝術(shù)、建筑等領(lǐng)域，在任何一個(gè)學(xué)術(shù)領(lǐng)域，都越來(lái)越要求originality。這是靠“大規(guī)模生產(chǎn)式”的教育所不能夠產(chǎn)生的。惟有通過(guò)因材施教，才能讓年輕人有足夠的時(shí)間和精力來(lái)潛心研究自己的所愛(ài)，從而達(dá)到創(chuàng)新。