Now is it just me, or are chemists getting increasingly nosey? It's ever since the government suggested that we consult chemists for minor 1)ailments rather than troubling our doctors, who are all far too busy with their calculators managing their funds. But as a result, chemists have all become a bit 2)big for their boots, if you'll forgive the 3)pun. You go into your chemist's for a bottle of aspirin, and instead of just giving them to you, they now say, "Why? What's wrong?" They're desperate to get you into that little back room they have now, where they can take your blood pressure and 4)poke around in your underwear. That chilling question when you ask for throat sweets, "Are these for you?" I always say, "No, they're for my mother." Butwhat does the 5) bloke who develops your holiday 6) snaps know about 7) gynecological matters? Mind you if he develops my holiday snaps, at least he'll know what he's looking for. You can't have a bloke 8)stumbling out of a dark room dripping 9)fixative 10)fluids, and saying, "OK, Miss Brand, put your feet in the stirrups, and see what develops."
The other brand new medical breakthrough that I personally welcome, is the 11)advent of the drop-in medical centres that you can now see in train stations. You don't have to make an appointment you just drop in and drop them. The 12)appeal of it is that the person you see doesn't know who you are, so you are not likely to bump into him at the school fate, and watch him refuse your homemade upside down cake 13)on the grounds of hygiene. The only problem with these drop-in centres at your local train station is that I am not absolutely convinced that the people you see are actually qualified doctors. The bloke I saw last time wore a blue cap, and tried to remove my verruca with a ticket 14)punch. If you go in and say, "I am 15)late." They automatically blame leaves on the line of Didcock 16)Parkway. Would you go for family planning advice to a virgin train's medical centre? These drop-in centres have particularly shifty waiting rooms. All the blokes pretend to have a cough to 17)deflect suspicion, that it might be something more sinister. Blokes are just no good at going to the doctor, are they? They don't see illness as a natural part of being alive, in the way that women do, that they see it as a form of weakness so they go in to see the doctor and say, "I've got this pain. Actually it's much better today. In fact, I think it's gone. Sorry to have troubled you, goodbye." But it's the doctor who has to say, "But you've got your leg in a carrier bag." Women 18)make no bones about it -we give it to the doctor with both barrels. Women turn up with written accounts, dates, times, 19)Polaroid photos. That's why 20)homeopaths make such a good living -- it's somewhere that woman can go and talk about herself for half an hour, without being interrupted by another woman talking about herself.
看病的另一番滋味
喬.布蘭德
究竟是我還是藥劑師變得越來越好管閑事了？政府曾建議我們患點(diǎn)小病找藥劑師就好了，用不著去看醫(yī)生，藥店的生意于是滾滾而來。但結(jié)果藥劑師卻變得妄自尊大起來，請?jiān)徫艺f這種俏皮話。你到藥店去買瓶阿斯匹林，現(xiàn)在他們非但不給你，還要反問：“怎么了？你哪里不舒服？”他們極力把你弄進(jìn)小暗室里好給你量個血壓、在你身上戳戳點(diǎn)點(diǎn)的。你想買潤喉糖卻要遭到冷冷的盤問：“是你要買？”我總說：“不是，是給我媽媽買的?！笨墒且粋€沖曬生活照的人能有什么婦科知識呢？如果他只是給我曬曬相，他至少還有自知之明。你沒可能聽?wèi){一個滴著定影劑、從暗室磕磕絆絆走出來的小子說：“好了，布蘭德小姐，把你的腳放在馬鐙上，看看出來什么結(jié)果。"
另一種醫(yī)療新創(chuàng)舉倒是很受我個人歡迎，也就是在火車站設(shè)立醫(yī)護(hù)中心。你不必預(yù)約，進(jìn)出自如。好處是診病的醫(yī)生和你互不相識，你不會在學(xué)校集會上撞見他，看見他因?yàn)樾l(wèi)生原因而拒絕你的自制蛋糕。但這種設(shè)在本地車站的醫(yī)護(hù)中心的弊端是，你難以判斷看診的醫(yī)生是否真正合格。上次給我看病的那家伙戴著頂藍(lán)帽，企圖拿剪票夾給我除疣。如果你走進(jìn)去說：“我懷孕了?！彼麄兙妥詣迂?zé)怪起迪克車道旁的樹葉來。你會去一家貞女培訓(xùn)醫(yī)院詢問計(jì)劃生育建議嗎？這些車站醫(yī)護(hù)中心的候診室特別不規(guī)矩。所有的男醫(yī)生都假裝以咳嗽避嫌，那說明你患的可能是更嚴(yán)重的病。男人不習(xí)慣去看醫(yī)生，是不是？他們不承認(rèn)疾病是生命的一個自然組成部分--女人才去看病--男人則把看病當(dāng)成是弱點(diǎn)的表現(xiàn)，所以去看病的時(shí)候他們說：“我生病了。實(shí)際上今天好些了。其實(shí)我想我已經(jīng)痊愈了。很抱歉打擾你，再見?！比缓髤s是醫(yī)生不得不說：“可你的手提袋里還裝著你的腿呢?！迸藗儏s毫不猶豫地把一切告訴醫(yī)生。她們看病的同時(shí)還帶上帳號、日期、時(shí)間、照片。所以順勢醫(yī)療師的生意異常紅火--女人可以上那去談自己談上半小時(shí)根本不用擔(dān)憂受到另一個談?wù)撟约旱呐怂蓴_。
1) ailment n. 疾?。ㄎ㈨Γ?2) big for one's boots 自大的，自負(fù)的
3) pun n. 雙關(guān)語，俏皮話 4) poke v. 戳，推
5) bloke n. 英國俚語，指小子，家伙，笨蛋
6) snap n. 快照，快相
7) gynecological a. 婦產(chǎn)科的 8) stumbling a. 蹣跚的
9) fixative a. 固定的，定色的 10) fluid n. 液體
11) advent n. 出現(xiàn)，到來
12) appeal n. 吸引力
13) on the grounds of 因?yàn)?BR> 14) punch n. 打孔機(jī)
15) be late 可指遲到，在此處的意思是“懷孕”。
16) parkway n. 駕車專用車道
17) deflect v.使偏移，使偏轉(zhuǎn) 18) make no bones about sth 對……事情毫不猶豫
19) Polaroid n. 寶麗金快照照相機(jī) 20) homeopath n. 順勢療法、類似醫(yī)療的醫(yī)師
The other brand new medical breakthrough that I personally welcome, is the 11)advent of the drop-in medical centres that you can now see in train stations. You don't have to make an appointment you just drop in and drop them. The 12)appeal of it is that the person you see doesn't know who you are, so you are not likely to bump into him at the school fate, and watch him refuse your homemade upside down cake 13)on the grounds of hygiene. The only problem with these drop-in centres at your local train station is that I am not absolutely convinced that the people you see are actually qualified doctors. The bloke I saw last time wore a blue cap, and tried to remove my verruca with a ticket 14)punch. If you go in and say, "I am 15)late." They automatically blame leaves on the line of Didcock 16)Parkway. Would you go for family planning advice to a virgin train's medical centre? These drop-in centres have particularly shifty waiting rooms. All the blokes pretend to have a cough to 17)deflect suspicion, that it might be something more sinister. Blokes are just no good at going to the doctor, are they? They don't see illness as a natural part of being alive, in the way that women do, that they see it as a form of weakness so they go in to see the doctor and say, "I've got this pain. Actually it's much better today. In fact, I think it's gone. Sorry to have troubled you, goodbye." But it's the doctor who has to say, "But you've got your leg in a carrier bag." Women 18)make no bones about it -we give it to the doctor with both barrels. Women turn up with written accounts, dates, times, 19)Polaroid photos. That's why 20)homeopaths make such a good living -- it's somewhere that woman can go and talk about herself for half an hour, without being interrupted by another woman talking about herself.
看病的另一番滋味
喬.布蘭德
究竟是我還是藥劑師變得越來越好管閑事了？政府曾建議我們患點(diǎn)小病找藥劑師就好了，用不著去看醫(yī)生，藥店的生意于是滾滾而來。但結(jié)果藥劑師卻變得妄自尊大起來，請?jiān)徫艺f這種俏皮話。你到藥店去買瓶阿斯匹林，現(xiàn)在他們非但不給你，還要反問：“怎么了？你哪里不舒服？”他們極力把你弄進(jìn)小暗室里好給你量個血壓、在你身上戳戳點(diǎn)點(diǎn)的。你想買潤喉糖卻要遭到冷冷的盤問：“是你要買？”我總說：“不是，是給我媽媽買的?！笨墒且粋€沖曬生活照的人能有什么婦科知識呢？如果他只是給我曬曬相，他至少還有自知之明。你沒可能聽?wèi){一個滴著定影劑、從暗室磕磕絆絆走出來的小子說：“好了，布蘭德小姐，把你的腳放在馬鐙上，看看出來什么結(jié)果。"
另一種醫(yī)療新創(chuàng)舉倒是很受我個人歡迎，也就是在火車站設(shè)立醫(yī)護(hù)中心。你不必預(yù)約，進(jìn)出自如。好處是診病的醫(yī)生和你互不相識，你不會在學(xué)校集會上撞見他，看見他因?yàn)樾l(wèi)生原因而拒絕你的自制蛋糕。但這種設(shè)在本地車站的醫(yī)護(hù)中心的弊端是，你難以判斷看診的醫(yī)生是否真正合格。上次給我看病的那家伙戴著頂藍(lán)帽，企圖拿剪票夾給我除疣。如果你走進(jìn)去說：“我懷孕了?！彼麄兙妥詣迂?zé)怪起迪克車道旁的樹葉來。你會去一家貞女培訓(xùn)醫(yī)院詢問計(jì)劃生育建議嗎？這些車站醫(yī)護(hù)中心的候診室特別不規(guī)矩。所有的男醫(yī)生都假裝以咳嗽避嫌，那說明你患的可能是更嚴(yán)重的病。男人不習(xí)慣去看醫(yī)生，是不是？他們不承認(rèn)疾病是生命的一個自然組成部分--女人才去看病--男人則把看病當(dāng)成是弱點(diǎn)的表現(xiàn)，所以去看病的時(shí)候他們說：“我生病了。實(shí)際上今天好些了。其實(shí)我想我已經(jīng)痊愈了。很抱歉打擾你，再見?！比缓髤s是醫(yī)生不得不說：“可你的手提袋里還裝著你的腿呢?！迸藗儏s毫不猶豫地把一切告訴醫(yī)生。她們看病的同時(shí)還帶上帳號、日期、時(shí)間、照片。所以順勢醫(yī)療師的生意異常紅火--女人可以上那去談自己談上半小時(shí)根本不用擔(dān)憂受到另一個談?wù)撟约旱呐怂蓴_。
1) ailment n. 疾?。ㄎ㈨Γ?2) big for one's boots 自大的，自負(fù)的
3) pun n. 雙關(guān)語，俏皮話 4) poke v. 戳，推
5) bloke n. 英國俚語，指小子，家伙，笨蛋
6) snap n. 快照，快相
7) gynecological a. 婦產(chǎn)科的 8) stumbling a. 蹣跚的
9) fixative a. 固定的，定色的 10) fluid n. 液體
11) advent n. 出現(xiàn)，到來
12) appeal n. 吸引力
13) on the grounds of 因?yàn)?BR> 14) punch n. 打孔機(jī)
15) be late 可指遲到，在此處的意思是“懷孕”。
16) parkway n. 駕車專用車道
17) deflect v.使偏移，使偏轉(zhuǎn) 18) make no bones about sth 對……事情毫不猶豫
19) Polaroid n. 寶麗金快照照相機(jī) 20) homeopath n. 順勢療法、類似醫(yī)療的醫(yī)師