I still remember something interesting in my childhood. One day，some of my little friends founded（成立）a “kingdom”（王國(guó)）and made a ten-year-old boy their “king”。 They also made it a rule that nobody else could join them in playing games unless he or she became a member of the “kingdom”。 How I wished to join the“kingdom”and play with the children！ So the next day I went to see the“king”。
“Hello， king！ I'd like to be a man of yours. Would you like to admit me？”I asked.
“It depends if[That depends on whether]（1） you can guess our password，”the“king”answered.
“Oh， it's too much to[for]（2） me，”as I knew they changed their password every day.“But I'd like to have a try.”I said.“By the way， how many times can I guess？”
“Three times. Now it's time for your first try[your first try]（3）?！?BR> “The sky，”I said without thinking much.
“No. Guess again.”
“The sun？”
“That's wrong. Now the last chance for you.”
I felt nervous. Suddenly I saw a tree nearby.
“Tree，”I shouted.
“You're mistaken again.”
My heart sank. Just when I was about to go home， the “king”stopped me.“Just a moment， please. Now I declare you are my man！”
What a pleasant surprise！ But I didn't know why I was so lucky until I found out later that the“king”hadn't decided on the password for that day until I said“tree”。
陜西省長(zhǎng)安205研究所附中 Yue Zhi
評(píng) 語(yǔ)
這是一篇寫得頗有童趣的作文，特別是對(duì)話部分寫得尤為出色。另外，結(jié)尾出人意料，使文章更具可讀性。文章中某些語(yǔ)言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評(píng)修改如下：
（1）depend on“取決于”后面不能用if引導(dǎo)的從句。That depends或It all depends意為“這要看情況”，后面一般不再跟句子。
（2）這里應(yīng)該是“It's too much for me to do that”的簡(jiǎn)寫，因此me前面介詞要用for，不能用to.
（3）已經(jīng)說(shuō)了now，可以不必再用It's time，否則在口語(yǔ)中會(huì)顯得啰唆。
“Hello， king！ I'd like to be a man of yours. Would you like to admit me？”I asked.
“It depends if[That depends on whether]（1） you can guess our password，”the“king”answered.
“Oh， it's too much to[for]（2） me，”as I knew they changed their password every day.“But I'd like to have a try.”I said.“By the way， how many times can I guess？”
“Three times. Now it's time for your first try[your first try]（3）?！?BR> “The sky，”I said without thinking much.
“No. Guess again.”
“The sun？”
“That's wrong. Now the last chance for you.”
I felt nervous. Suddenly I saw a tree nearby.
“Tree，”I shouted.
“You're mistaken again.”
My heart sank. Just when I was about to go home， the “king”stopped me.“Just a moment， please. Now I declare you are my man！”
What a pleasant surprise！ But I didn't know why I was so lucky until I found out later that the“king”hadn't decided on the password for that day until I said“tree”。
陜西省長(zhǎng)安205研究所附中 Yue Zhi
評(píng) 語(yǔ)
這是一篇寫得頗有童趣的作文，特別是對(duì)話部分寫得尤為出色。另外，結(jié)尾出人意料，使文章更具可讀性。文章中某些語(yǔ)言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評(píng)修改如下：
（1）depend on“取決于”后面不能用if引導(dǎo)的從句。That depends或It all depends意為“這要看情況”，后面一般不再跟句子。
（2）這里應(yīng)該是“It's too much for me to do that”的簡(jiǎn)寫，因此me前面介詞要用for，不能用to.
（3）已經(jīng)說(shuō)了now，可以不必再用It's time，否則在口語(yǔ)中會(huì)顯得啰唆。