A Visit to Great Buddha of Leshan

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I visited Great Buddha of Leshan during my winter holidays. I heard of Great Buddha when I was only a child. My grandma had told me that it was as high as a hill. So I had always dreamed of visiting it.
    On the way where Great Buddha was situated[to the place where Great Buddha was situated] (1), we saw many temples. All kinds of images of Buddha could be seen there.
    We walked quickly, eager to see that Great Buddha.“Oh, it's there!”my sister suddenly cried. We ran to it with great Joy. How large it was! Standing on the top of the hill [a hill](2), we could see his head clearly. Looking down, we could see the whole of his body. Facing him you were just like an ant. A single toe of his had enough room for one hundred people [to stand on] (3)。 He sat against mountains and faced three rivers with a holy and pure smile. It is said that people in ancient times built him in order to let him govern the spirits in the rivers and prevent them from doing damage[harm] (4) to people. For thousand years[thousands of years](5), Great Buddha has witnessed changes around him. I guess he may be satisfied when he sees that the people around him are living a happy life now.
    On the way home, I was wondering all the time how the Buddha was[had been] (6) built without modern machines. Was it God who built it? No, it was people. And I couldn't help feeling proud of my people, people of great wisdom.
    錫山市中學高二(7)班 陳依敏
    評 語
    游記一般比較難寫,因為它往往需要較大的詞匯量,有些具體的情景用英語也較難表達。這篇游記寫得簡潔明了,抓住重點,突出描寫大佛,想表達的內(nèi)容基本表達清楚了,所發(fā)的感想也較自然。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點評修改如下:
    (1)作者可能受了“on the way+副詞”結(jié)構(gòu)的影響,但這里這樣表達不自然,故改之。
    (2)第一次提到hill,宜用不定冠詞a.
    (3)加上to stand on語義更清楚。
    (4)一般說 do harm to sb.。
    (5)要么說 a/one thousand years,要么說thousands of years.
    (6)根據(jù)上下文,這里宜用過去完成時。