It was spring holiday again. Our class went on a cycling excursion（旅游）to Tai Lake， the boundless expanse of blue water in my hometown.
We started out so early in the morning that we saw twinkling stars in the still dark sky. The road was a bit wet because of the rain last night[the night before] （1）。 The street lights showed our way ahead.
It proved to be a hard trip. We had to cycle three hours before we reached the waterfront. The road was slippery（滑的）and several students fell off their bicycle[bicycles] （2）accidentally（3）。 We managed to help each other along the way and arrived at the destination（目的地）with a feeling of triumph（勝利）。The weather turned out to be excellent with bright sunshine and gentle wind， just as we had expected.
Here we saw the great morning scenes of Tai Lake. It looks [looked] （4）like a little shy[shy little] （5）girl， covered with [a]（6）mysterious veil（神秘的面紗）。 Now and then， gentle breezes sent ripples across the peaceful water surface， which reflected the golden sunshine. That was the girl's smile. We were so impressed by the scenery that we forgot about the flying time and the hardships on the way.
We did not head home until dusk（黃昏）。 Everyone was exhausted but no one complained. We talked about our experiences excitedly the next morning. It was one of the best spring trips we had ever had.
無錫市山明中學(xué)初三（10）班 陸希星
評 語
這是一篇寫得較好的游記，文筆較為老練，作者將太湖比作“害羞的小姑娘”，使描寫更為生動，有些句子結(jié)構(gòu)和用詞反映出作者具有較好的英語語言基礎(chǔ)，如：the boundless expanse of blue water， proved to be， turned out to be， head home 等等。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評修改如下：
（1）雨是春游日前的晚上下的，應(yīng)該是“過去的昨晚”，故改之。
（2）這里應(yīng)該是復(fù)數(shù)。
（3）accidentally的意思是“偶然地”，如果作者想表示“不小心”、“事故”，那用accidentally是錯誤的。
（4）作者用looks可能想表示一般情況都如此。但為了與上下文時(shí)態(tài)的和諧，還是用looked為好。
（5）根據(jù)名詞前形容詞次序原則，一般修飾性的形容詞shy的位置應(yīng)該在表示年齡的little之前。
（6）veil是可數(shù)名詞。
We started out so early in the morning that we saw twinkling stars in the still dark sky. The road was a bit wet because of the rain last night[the night before] （1）。 The street lights showed our way ahead.
It proved to be a hard trip. We had to cycle three hours before we reached the waterfront. The road was slippery（滑的）and several students fell off their bicycle[bicycles] （2）accidentally（3）。 We managed to help each other along the way and arrived at the destination（目的地）with a feeling of triumph（勝利）。The weather turned out to be excellent with bright sunshine and gentle wind， just as we had expected.
Here we saw the great morning scenes of Tai Lake. It looks [looked] （4）like a little shy[shy little] （5）girl， covered with [a]（6）mysterious veil（神秘的面紗）。 Now and then， gentle breezes sent ripples across the peaceful water surface， which reflected the golden sunshine. That was the girl's smile. We were so impressed by the scenery that we forgot about the flying time and the hardships on the way.
We did not head home until dusk（黃昏）。 Everyone was exhausted but no one complained. We talked about our experiences excitedly the next morning. It was one of the best spring trips we had ever had.
無錫市山明中學(xué)初三（10）班 陸希星
評 語
這是一篇寫得較好的游記，文筆較為老練，作者將太湖比作“害羞的小姑娘”，使描寫更為生動，有些句子結(jié)構(gòu)和用詞反映出作者具有較好的英語語言基礎(chǔ)，如：the boundless expanse of blue water， proved to be， turned out to be， head home 等等。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評修改如下：
（1）雨是春游日前的晚上下的，應(yīng)該是“過去的昨晚”，故改之。
（2）這里應(yīng)該是復(fù)數(shù)。
（3）accidentally的意思是“偶然地”，如果作者想表示“不小心”、“事故”，那用accidentally是錯誤的。
（4）作者用looks可能想表示一般情況都如此。但為了與上下文時(shí)態(tài)的和諧，還是用looked為好。
（5）根據(jù)名詞前形容詞次序原則，一般修飾性的形容詞shy的位置應(yīng)該在表示年齡的little之前。
（6）veil是可數(shù)名詞。