When I was six years old， I went to school and became a pupil.
My first teacher was Mrs Zheng. She was an old teacher. Her eyes were kind and bright. She treated us as her children and loved us heart and soul.
One day in the afternoon， we were having our handwriting lesson. I was so careless that I got the ink bottle broken and ink ran out of it. I was anxious and frightened. Tears came to my eyes. Just at that time， in came my dear teacher——Mrs Zheng， with a sweet smile on her kind face.“Don't worry about it. You are a pupil now. You must face the difficulty in life bravery [bravely]（1）?！盩hen she helped me to clean the ground.
This happened when I was in Grade One. I will remember her words for ever.
Two years later， my family moved away. I had to leave my dear teacher to[for]（2）another school. Mrs Zheng gave me a notebook with the words“Study hard for ever！”on the cover. She accompanied（陪伴）me to another[the new]（3）school in person with tears full of her eyes[her eyes full of tears]（4）。 Many times， I dreamed about my dear teacher's tears， and my tears would run down to the pillow. Many times， I dreamed about my dear teacher's smile， and I would then smile in the dream.
Time flies. Then eight years after I left her， at[on]（5） a beautiful night， my former classmates and I went to visit her. To our surprise， she still remembered our names exactly. When she said，“You are Manly， aren't you？”teary came to my eyes.
Who taught me the first lesson in my life？ Who taught me to face the difficulty in life bravery[bravely]（6）？ Who taught me to work hard for ever？ It is you！ My dear teacher！
廣東省揭陽市榕城第一中學(xué)94（6）班 洪曼麗
評(píng) 語
學(xué)生對(duì)老師的感恩之情是永遠(yuǎn)也書寫不完的。文章從“闖禍后的安慰”、“臨別時(shí)的送行”到“幾年后重見時(shí)依然記得每個(gè)學(xué)生的名字”這些細(xì)節(jié)入手，勾畫出了一個(gè)和藹可親的教師形象。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評(píng)修改如下：
（1）、（6）可能是bravely的筆誤，可見作文完成后，必須認(rèn)真檢查語法、拼寫等，否則就會(huì)出現(xiàn)不必要的錯(cuò)誤。
（2）leave某地去另一個(gè)新地方，該新地方用介詞for引出，如：He left Shanghai for Beijing.
（3）上面已經(jīng)提到過那個(gè)學(xué)校，再用another不妥，故改之。
（4）原文with短語是伴隨情況狀語，相當(dāng)于一個(gè)狀語從句，但tears和eyes的位置錯(cuò)了，因?yàn)槲覀冎荒苷fwhen her eyes were full of tears，向不能說when tears were full of her eyes.
（5）某一天晚上前介詞用on，而at night只是一個(gè)固定搭配。
My first teacher was Mrs Zheng. She was an old teacher. Her eyes were kind and bright. She treated us as her children and loved us heart and soul.
One day in the afternoon， we were having our handwriting lesson. I was so careless that I got the ink bottle broken and ink ran out of it. I was anxious and frightened. Tears came to my eyes. Just at that time， in came my dear teacher——Mrs Zheng， with a sweet smile on her kind face.“Don't worry about it. You are a pupil now. You must face the difficulty in life bravery [bravely]（1）?！盩hen she helped me to clean the ground.
This happened when I was in Grade One. I will remember her words for ever.
Two years later， my family moved away. I had to leave my dear teacher to[for]（2）another school. Mrs Zheng gave me a notebook with the words“Study hard for ever！”on the cover. She accompanied（陪伴）me to another[the new]（3）school in person with tears full of her eyes[her eyes full of tears]（4）。 Many times， I dreamed about my dear teacher's tears， and my tears would run down to the pillow. Many times， I dreamed about my dear teacher's smile， and I would then smile in the dream.
Time flies. Then eight years after I left her， at[on]（5） a beautiful night， my former classmates and I went to visit her. To our surprise， she still remembered our names exactly. When she said，“You are Manly， aren't you？”teary came to my eyes.
Who taught me the first lesson in my life？ Who taught me to face the difficulty in life bravery[bravely]（6）？ Who taught me to work hard for ever？ It is you！ My dear teacher！
廣東省揭陽市榕城第一中學(xué)94（6）班 洪曼麗
評(píng) 語
學(xué)生對(duì)老師的感恩之情是永遠(yuǎn)也書寫不完的。文章從“闖禍后的安慰”、“臨別時(shí)的送行”到“幾年后重見時(shí)依然記得每個(gè)學(xué)生的名字”這些細(xì)節(jié)入手，勾畫出了一個(gè)和藹可親的教師形象。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評(píng)修改如下：
（1）、（6）可能是bravely的筆誤，可見作文完成后，必須認(rèn)真檢查語法、拼寫等，否則就會(huì)出現(xiàn)不必要的錯(cuò)誤。
（2）leave某地去另一個(gè)新地方，該新地方用介詞for引出，如：He left Shanghai for Beijing.
（3）上面已經(jīng)提到過那個(gè)學(xué)校，再用another不妥，故改之。
（4）原文with短語是伴隨情況狀語，相當(dāng)于一個(gè)狀語從句，但tears和eyes的位置錯(cuò)了，因?yàn)槲覀冎荒苷fwhen her eyes were full of tears，向不能說when tears were full of her eyes.
（5）某一天晚上前介詞用on，而at night只是一個(gè)固定搭配。