My hometown is a beautiful place. The most attractions [attractive things] （1） are the river in front of my house and the green hills opposite my house. On the hills there is a dense pine forest [are dense pine woods] （2）。 The river， in which there are all kinds of big and smooth cobbles （圓石塊）， flows gurgling （汩汩聲） in four seasons， with schools [groups] （3） of fish and shrimps playing in the water.
Spring coming， the fields look like a green carpet， and the willows （楊柳） by the river are putting forth a lot of tender branches. With breeze blowing， the long thin branches gently brush the cool and refreshing water； there groups of ducks are having fun.
Summer follows spring. The children sit on the large stones in the river， where they pat the water and make splashes （水濺聲）。 The sound of water， and the noise of the children's chatting and laughing are mixed together. The birds in the forest [woods] （4） are unwilling to be lonely， singing and dancing with joy.
Autumn is a bright and colourful season. The leaves of the trees on the hills are as red as fire as if [like] （5） pieces of rosy clouds. The paddy fields （水稻田） glitter in the sunshine， with dropping ears of rice （稻穗）。 They ripple in the autumn wind just like a golden sea.
In winter， the pine trees on the hills stand like soldiers. They are evergreen. The children lead an active life though the weather is very cold； they skate and dance in the snow， and make snowmen as well. Laughter spreads [can be heard] （6） everywhere.
Oh， how beautiful my hometown is！ It is simply a beautiful picture for every season.
湖北省浠水師范9407班 張關(guān)蘭
評(píng) 語(yǔ)
作者從四季著眼看家鄉(xiāng)，角度較為巧妙，便于行文和描述。文章能準(zhǔn)確把握家鄉(xiāng)四季景色的特點(diǎn)，語(yǔ)言運(yùn)用得較好。但有幾處用詞不夠準(zhǔn)確，修改如下：
（1）這里most不可能作“大多數(shù)”解，只能理解為形容詞的級(jí)。
（2）、（4）根據(jù)上下文，這里用forest，似乎有點(diǎn)過(guò)頭，改用woods （=a place where trees grow， smaller than a forest） 較好。
（3）school可以表示魚群，但一般指較大群（同類魚），這里根據(jù)上下文，還是用group較好。
（5）as if后接從句，或在一定上下文中接不定式等。這里后接名詞還是加上介詞like為好。
（6）spread強(qiáng)調(diào)主語(yǔ)可以伸展開，但laughter更應(yīng)強(qiáng)調(diào)聲音，故改為can be heard較好。
Spring coming， the fields look like a green carpet， and the willows （楊柳） by the river are putting forth a lot of tender branches. With breeze blowing， the long thin branches gently brush the cool and refreshing water； there groups of ducks are having fun.
Summer follows spring. The children sit on the large stones in the river， where they pat the water and make splashes （水濺聲）。 The sound of water， and the noise of the children's chatting and laughing are mixed together. The birds in the forest [woods] （4） are unwilling to be lonely， singing and dancing with joy.
Autumn is a bright and colourful season. The leaves of the trees on the hills are as red as fire as if [like] （5） pieces of rosy clouds. The paddy fields （水稻田） glitter in the sunshine， with dropping ears of rice （稻穗）。 They ripple in the autumn wind just like a golden sea.
In winter， the pine trees on the hills stand like soldiers. They are evergreen. The children lead an active life though the weather is very cold； they skate and dance in the snow， and make snowmen as well. Laughter spreads [can be heard] （6） everywhere.
Oh， how beautiful my hometown is！ It is simply a beautiful picture for every season.
湖北省浠水師范9407班 張關(guān)蘭
評(píng) 語(yǔ)
作者從四季著眼看家鄉(xiāng)，角度較為巧妙，便于行文和描述。文章能準(zhǔn)確把握家鄉(xiāng)四季景色的特點(diǎn)，語(yǔ)言運(yùn)用得較好。但有幾處用詞不夠準(zhǔn)確，修改如下：
（1）這里most不可能作“大多數(shù)”解，只能理解為形容詞的級(jí)。
（2）、（4）根據(jù)上下文，這里用forest，似乎有點(diǎn)過(guò)頭，改用woods （=a place where trees grow， smaller than a forest） 較好。
（3）school可以表示魚群，但一般指較大群（同類魚），這里根據(jù)上下文，還是用group較好。
（5）as if后接從句，或在一定上下文中接不定式等。這里后接名詞還是加上介詞like為好。
（6）spread強(qiáng)調(diào)主語(yǔ)可以伸展開，但laughter更應(yīng)強(qiáng)調(diào)聲音，故改為can be heard較好。