September 27th is Andy's birthday. Many of his songs are being broadcast on that day.
Andy's Chinese name is Liu Dehua（劉德華）。 His parents are peasants. They have six children. Andy is the fourth and also the first boy. Andy spent his childhood in the countryside. They were very poor， so Andy left school. He went out to earn money. Andy bore hardships and led a plaining [plain] （1） life.
In the past， I didn't like Andy at all. I thought he was like the other star singers who didn't have much to learn or admire [to be learned from or admired for] （2）。 All their success only depended on their handsome appearances. When Andy said that he wanted to become a singer， many people laughed at him. So did I. I thought he pretended to be a genius （天才） but he sang terribly.
Now several years have passed. Andy is more than thirty. He isn't young. Many young singers are much more handsome than Andy. But Andy has achieved great success. He sings more and more wonderfully.
Many people told me that they disliked Andy. If you listen to the songs “The Dream That I'm Dreaming Of” and “The Days When We Walked Together”， you will surely be deeply moved. If you listen to the song which was written by Andy himself “Mum's Face”， you will find Andy's Chinese is very good. If you comprehend （理解） Andy with your heart， you will find Andy's of merits （優(yōu)點(diǎn)）。
Surely Andy's songs aren't perfect， but Andy himself is respectable. In spite of Andy's great success， I won't forget the first film in which Andy acted for only five minutes. I won't forget the first song Andy sang was very terrible.
From Andy， I have learned a lot. I know how to make my life better with my efforts. I know if I want to be successful， I must work hard and I needn't care too much about what others say.
上海市第三女子中學(xué)高一（1）班 喻凌楓
評(píng) 語(yǔ)
本文用時(shí)間順序法介紹了歌星劉德華并試圖說(shuō)明自己從劉德華身上學(xué)到了什么，就語(yǔ)言而言，文筆流暢，語(yǔ)句老練，但對(duì)文章標(biāo)題指出的主題似乎展開(kāi)不夠。文章中某些語(yǔ)言上的不足之外點(diǎn)評(píng)修改如下：
（1）“樸素的生活”應(yīng)該是 plain life.
（2）根據(jù)上下文作者似乎是想說(shuō)“這些歌星沒(méi)有多少值得他人學(xué)習(xí)和羨慕”，因此learn 和admire要改成被動(dòng)態(tài)，且加上合適的介詞。
Andy's Chinese name is Liu Dehua（劉德華）。 His parents are peasants. They have six children. Andy is the fourth and also the first boy. Andy spent his childhood in the countryside. They were very poor， so Andy left school. He went out to earn money. Andy bore hardships and led a plaining [plain] （1） life.
In the past， I didn't like Andy at all. I thought he was like the other star singers who didn't have much to learn or admire [to be learned from or admired for] （2）。 All their success only depended on their handsome appearances. When Andy said that he wanted to become a singer， many people laughed at him. So did I. I thought he pretended to be a genius （天才） but he sang terribly.
Now several years have passed. Andy is more than thirty. He isn't young. Many young singers are much more handsome than Andy. But Andy has achieved great success. He sings more and more wonderfully.
Many people told me that they disliked Andy. If you listen to the songs “The Dream That I'm Dreaming Of” and “The Days When We Walked Together”， you will surely be deeply moved. If you listen to the song which was written by Andy himself “Mum's Face”， you will find Andy's Chinese is very good. If you comprehend （理解） Andy with your heart， you will find Andy's of merits （優(yōu)點(diǎn)）。
Surely Andy's songs aren't perfect， but Andy himself is respectable. In spite of Andy's great success， I won't forget the first film in which Andy acted for only five minutes. I won't forget the first song Andy sang was very terrible.
From Andy， I have learned a lot. I know how to make my life better with my efforts. I know if I want to be successful， I must work hard and I needn't care too much about what others say.
上海市第三女子中學(xué)高一（1）班 喻凌楓
評(píng) 語(yǔ)
本文用時(shí)間順序法介紹了歌星劉德華并試圖說(shuō)明自己從劉德華身上學(xué)到了什么，就語(yǔ)言而言，文筆流暢，語(yǔ)句老練，但對(duì)文章標(biāo)題指出的主題似乎展開(kāi)不夠。文章中某些語(yǔ)言上的不足之外點(diǎn)評(píng)修改如下：
（1）“樸素的生活”應(yīng)該是 plain life.
（2）根據(jù)上下文作者似乎是想說(shuō)“這些歌星沒(méi)有多少值得他人學(xué)習(xí)和羨慕”，因此learn 和admire要改成被動(dòng)態(tài)，且加上合適的介詞。