I am a girl of sixteen， and of course， I have a lot of dreams. One of them is that I want to grow up！ Sixteen is neither old nor young. Children who are only six call me aunt. But old people of sixty all look [look on me] （1） as a child！ I often wonder： am I still a child？ Sometimes I am exactly like a child： I like playing and enjoy eating. At school， I often forget to do my homework because of playing and I have to receive criticisms of [from] （2） my teachers. And in those cases I seldom forget to make faces. The teachers and my parents often say， “Look at that silly girl. She will never grow up！” It seems that you will do fewer silly things when you grow older. Then， what will I do when I grow up？
I will get rid of a lot of bad habits. Then， all the people have to accept the truth [fact] （ 3 ） that the little girl has grown up！ After I have finished college study， I will find a good job for myself. I want to be a lawyer and own a lawyer's office. I will do things for all people. I also want to be a writer and I will write novels and fairy tales for all children and make them happy. If I earn a lot of money， I will buy many things. Most of them are for my parents to show my thanks for their training me [bringing me up] （4） over so many years. With this sum of money， I can do a lot of other things that I like. Of course I will not forget to study. I must learn English well. I will read many great books from which I think I can learn a lot.
I know， however， that the way to success is very hard [not smooth] （5）。 In order to make my future life better， I must learn harder and harder from now on. I want to grow up！ I want to grow to be successful.
江蘇省梁豐高級(jí)中學(xué)高一（1）班 邵玲玲
評(píng) 語(yǔ)
作者用熱切的語(yǔ)言表達(dá)了渴望長(zhǎng)大，渴望成才的心聲。全文活潑流暢。文章中某些語(yǔ)言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評(píng)修改如下：
（1）“把……看成……”應(yīng)為 look on…as…。
（2）前面用了動(dòng)詞receive，后面介詞用from搭配較好。
（3）truth用得不妥，改為fact較好。
4）作者似乎想用training表示“培養(yǎng)”，有中國(guó)式英語(yǔ)之嫌，故改之。
（5）主語(yǔ)是way，表語(yǔ)用hard不妥，故改之。
I will get rid of a lot of bad habits. Then， all the people have to accept the truth [fact] （ 3 ） that the little girl has grown up！ After I have finished college study， I will find a good job for myself. I want to be a lawyer and own a lawyer's office. I will do things for all people. I also want to be a writer and I will write novels and fairy tales for all children and make them happy. If I earn a lot of money， I will buy many things. Most of them are for my parents to show my thanks for their training me [bringing me up] （4） over so many years. With this sum of money， I can do a lot of other things that I like. Of course I will not forget to study. I must learn English well. I will read many great books from which I think I can learn a lot.
I know， however， that the way to success is very hard [not smooth] （5）。 In order to make my future life better， I must learn harder and harder from now on. I want to grow up！ I want to grow to be successful.
江蘇省梁豐高級(jí)中學(xué)高一（1）班 邵玲玲
評(píng) 語(yǔ)
作者用熱切的語(yǔ)言表達(dá)了渴望長(zhǎng)大，渴望成才的心聲。全文活潑流暢。文章中某些語(yǔ)言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評(píng)修改如下：
（1）“把……看成……”應(yīng)為 look on…as…。
（2）前面用了動(dòng)詞receive，后面介詞用from搭配較好。
（3）truth用得不妥，改為fact較好。
4）作者似乎想用training表示“培養(yǎng)”，有中國(guó)式英語(yǔ)之嫌，故改之。
（5）主語(yǔ)是way，表語(yǔ)用hard不妥，故改之。