Bad news has come these days[came that]（1） Chen Jingrun （陳景潤），one of the greatest Chinese mathematicians died on March，19. It is a great loss to us all. The contribution he made makes[The contributions he made to mathematics make]（2） us think of him as a VIP and he will live in our minds forev-er.
When I was a child of seven， one year after I had enteredprimary school， I became interested in mathematics. I read quite a number of books on maths and soon became one of the top students in class. At that time， I regarded Professor Hua Luogeng（華羅庚）as the greatest mathematician ever in the world. But it had not been long before the bad news came： Professor Hua Luogeng died. I clearly remember that it was in 1985. Then a new name came up. It was Chen Jingrun. He won world fame because he made great contribution [contributions] （3） to solving the “Supposition of Godbarh” . He was so dedicated （獻(xiàn)身） that he kept himself in the room for one month or even more in order to verify （證明） the abstract fact. I was deeply impressed by him and I believed that he was second only to Hua Luogeng. From then on， I determined to learn from them and decided that whenever I did anything [whatever I did] （4）， I should try my best to do it well. It has been my personal belief up to the present.
It is a fact that Mr Chen left us. I think that many peopleare in deep sorrow now. And many people are working on the unsolved problem continuously. I hope to be one of them. The example that the great mathematician set to us will inspire （鼓勵(lì)） us to make greater efforts. I wish that Mr Chen could have a peaceful rest since the things he cared for will be continued by us.
上海市大同中學(xué)高三（5）班 徐天
評 語
徐天同學(xué)自小酷愛數(shù)學(xué)，為失去心中的偶像——大數(shù)學(xué)家陳景潤而悲痛，同時(shí)又為他的精神所激勵(lì)，立志更勤奮學(xué)心，像陳景潤一樣為科學(xué)作出貢獻(xiàn)。他的這篇作文告訴我們：如果我們關(guān)心時(shí)事，有感而發(fā)，就能寫出好文章。文中某些語言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評修改如下：
（1）原文時(shí)間狀語these days不妥，時(shí)態(tài)也不必用現(xiàn)在完成時(shí)。
（2）、（3）contribution 表示“作出的貢獻(xiàn)”時(shí)，用復(fù)數(shù)為好。
（4）原文讀起來有中國式英語之嫌，故改之。
（5）文章結(jié)束部分略有刪節(jié)和改動(dòng)。
When I was a child of seven， one year after I had enteredprimary school， I became interested in mathematics. I read quite a number of books on maths and soon became one of the top students in class. At that time， I regarded Professor Hua Luogeng（華羅庚）as the greatest mathematician ever in the world. But it had not been long before the bad news came： Professor Hua Luogeng died. I clearly remember that it was in 1985. Then a new name came up. It was Chen Jingrun. He won world fame because he made great contribution [contributions] （3） to solving the “Supposition of Godbarh” . He was so dedicated （獻(xiàn)身） that he kept himself in the room for one month or even more in order to verify （證明） the abstract fact. I was deeply impressed by him and I believed that he was second only to Hua Luogeng. From then on， I determined to learn from them and decided that whenever I did anything [whatever I did] （4）， I should try my best to do it well. It has been my personal belief up to the present.
It is a fact that Mr Chen left us. I think that many peopleare in deep sorrow now. And many people are working on the unsolved problem continuously. I hope to be one of them. The example that the great mathematician set to us will inspire （鼓勵(lì)） us to make greater efforts. I wish that Mr Chen could have a peaceful rest since the things he cared for will be continued by us.
上海市大同中學(xué)高三（5）班 徐天
評 語
徐天同學(xué)自小酷愛數(shù)學(xué)，為失去心中的偶像——大數(shù)學(xué)家陳景潤而悲痛，同時(shí)又為他的精神所激勵(lì)，立志更勤奮學(xué)心，像陳景潤一樣為科學(xué)作出貢獻(xiàn)。他的這篇作文告訴我們：如果我們關(guān)心時(shí)事，有感而發(fā)，就能寫出好文章。文中某些語言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評修改如下：
（1）原文時(shí)間狀語these days不妥，時(shí)態(tài)也不必用現(xiàn)在完成時(shí)。
（2）、（3）contribution 表示“作出的貢獻(xiàn)”時(shí)，用復(fù)數(shù)為好。
（4）原文讀起來有中國式英語之嫌，故改之。
（5）文章結(jié)束部分略有刪節(jié)和改動(dòng)。