Oct . 26th Fri.
Sunny
Last week a bad thing took place in our class that [something terrible took place in our class ：] （1） one of our classmates， Xiao Li， fell down the stairs of our classroom building. The wound was bad . [He got badly hurt.]（2） He had to stay in hospital for a long time. How unfortunate he was！
So this afternoon all our classmates and Teacher Yan [our teacher， Mr Yan ，]（3） were going to the field [fields]（4） helped them to gather the grain [to help Xiao Li's family gather the grain] （5）。
After lunch we set out. It was a long way from our school to Xiao Li's home. It took us half an hour to ride there [get there by bike] （6）。
Then we walked to the field [fields] （7）， bent down and began to work. Some of us worked very quickly though some had never done any farming work before. Time went by quickly and we knocked off about 4 o'clock.
Xiao Li's parents were thankful. “It's very kind of you to come and help us，”they said. They invited us to have a rest in their house and gave us a lot of things to eat. After that we wentback.
Now I realize it's important to help and care for each other， and we should regard the class as our own family [each classmate as a member of a big family]（8）。
Let's bring love to the whole world.
江西省宜豐縣第二中學(xué)高二 曾群立
評(píng) 語
要練習(xí)英語寫作，記日記是一個(gè)很好的形式。運(yùn)用所學(xué)的內(nèi)容把日常生活用英語記錄表達(dá)出來，作為一種提高學(xué)習(xí)興趣，促進(jìn)英語學(xué)習(xí)的手段。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評(píng)修改如下：
（1）“一件壞事”不應(yīng)說成 a bad thing， a bad thing 是“一件壞東西”，故改成 something terrible， that 引導(dǎo)的同位語從句改成“：”，這樣更符合英語表達(dá)習(xí)慣。
（2）wound 一般指“用武器致傷”，事故受傷要用 injure 或 hurt.
（3）Teacher Yan 是中國式英語，應(yīng)說 Mr Yan.
（4）、（7） field 泛指“農(nóng)田”時(shí)，一般用復(fù)數(shù)。
（5）根據(jù)上下文 help 應(yīng)是 went to the fields 的目的狀語，而不是并列的動(dòng)作，故改為不定式 to help， 另外，原句中them 指代不清，根據(jù)上下文應(yīng)改成 Xiao Li's family.這種指代不清的錯(cuò)誤，中國學(xué)生尤其要注意避免。用代詞時(shí)，一般上下文要有相應(yīng)的名詞存在。
（6） ride 含義不清，可能指 ride a horse，或 ride a bicycle.
（8）避免中國式英語，故改之。
Sunny
Last week a bad thing took place in our class that [something terrible took place in our class ：] （1） one of our classmates， Xiao Li， fell down the stairs of our classroom building. The wound was bad . [He got badly hurt.]（2） He had to stay in hospital for a long time. How unfortunate he was！
So this afternoon all our classmates and Teacher Yan [our teacher， Mr Yan ，]（3） were going to the field [fields]（4） helped them to gather the grain [to help Xiao Li's family gather the grain] （5）。
After lunch we set out. It was a long way from our school to Xiao Li's home. It took us half an hour to ride there [get there by bike] （6）。
Then we walked to the field [fields] （7）， bent down and began to work. Some of us worked very quickly though some had never done any farming work before. Time went by quickly and we knocked off about 4 o'clock.
Xiao Li's parents were thankful. “It's very kind of you to come and help us，”they said. They invited us to have a rest in their house and gave us a lot of things to eat. After that we wentback.
Now I realize it's important to help and care for each other， and we should regard the class as our own family [each classmate as a member of a big family]（8）。
Let's bring love to the whole world.
江西省宜豐縣第二中學(xué)高二 曾群立
評(píng) 語
要練習(xí)英語寫作，記日記是一個(gè)很好的形式。運(yùn)用所學(xué)的內(nèi)容把日常生活用英語記錄表達(dá)出來，作為一種提高學(xué)習(xí)興趣，促進(jìn)英語學(xué)習(xí)的手段。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評(píng)修改如下：
（1）“一件壞事”不應(yīng)說成 a bad thing， a bad thing 是“一件壞東西”，故改成 something terrible， that 引導(dǎo)的同位語從句改成“：”，這樣更符合英語表達(dá)習(xí)慣。
（2）wound 一般指“用武器致傷”，事故受傷要用 injure 或 hurt.
（3）Teacher Yan 是中國式英語，應(yīng)說 Mr Yan.
（4）、（7） field 泛指“農(nóng)田”時(shí)，一般用復(fù)數(shù)。
（5）根據(jù)上下文 help 應(yīng)是 went to the fields 的目的狀語，而不是并列的動(dòng)作，故改為不定式 to help， 另外，原句中them 指代不清，根據(jù)上下文應(yīng)改成 Xiao Li's family.這種指代不清的錯(cuò)誤，中國學(xué)生尤其要注意避免。用代詞時(shí)，一般上下文要有相應(yīng)的名詞存在。
（6） ride 含義不清，可能指 ride a horse，或 ride a bicycle.
（8）避免中國式英語，故改之。