But now I am a father myself, and one day I was thinking about my own children, Prince and Paris and how I wanted them to think of me when they grow up. To be sure, I would like them to remember how I always wanted them with me wherever I went, how I always tried to put them before everything else. But there are also challenges in their lives. Because my kids are stalked by paparazzi, they cant always go to a park or a movie with me.
但是現(xiàn)在我自己也當(dāng)爸爸了，有一天我正在想著我自己的孩子Prince、Paris，還有我希望他們長(zhǎng)大后怎樣看我。我肯定的是，我希望他們想起我的時(shí)候，能記得我不管去哪，都要他們?cè)谖疑磉叄肫鹞胰绾慰偸前阉麄兎旁谝磺兄?。但他們的生活里總是有挑?zhàn)。因?yàn)槲业暮⒆觽兛偸潜荒切┌素孕?bào)跟蹤，他們也不能和我經(jīng)常去公園或者*。
So what if they grow older and resent me, and how my choices impacted their youth? Why werent we given an average childhood like all the other kids, they might ask? And at that moment I pray that my children will give me the benefit of the doubt. That they will say to themselves: "Our daddy did the best he could, given the unique circumstances that he faced. He may not have been perfect, but he was a warm and decent man, who tried to give us all the love in the world."
所以如果他們長(zhǎng)大了之后怨恨我，那又怎么樣呢?我的選擇給他們的童年帶來了多大的影響?他們也許會(huì)問，為什么我們沒有和其他孩子一樣的童年呢?在那一刻，我祈禱，我的孩子能夠理解我。他們會(huì)對(duì)自己說：“我們的爸爸已經(jīng)盡了他努力，他面對(duì)的是獨(dú)一無二的狀況。他或許不完美，但他卻是個(gè)溫和正派的人，想把這世上所有的愛都給我們。”
I hope that they will always focus on the positive things, on the sacrifices I willingly made for them, and not criticise the things they had to give up, or the errors Ive made, and will certainly continue to make, in raising them. For we have all been someones child, and we know that despite the very best of plans and efforts, mistakes will always occur. Thats just being human.
我希望他們能總是把焦點(diǎn)放在那些積極的方面，比如我心甘情愿為他們做出的犧牲;而不是那些他們不得不放棄的事情，或我在撫養(yǎng)他們的過程中犯過的或不能避免犯下的錯(cuò)誤。因?yàn)槲覀兌荚撬说暮⒆樱椅覀兌记宄?，盡管有非常好的計(jì)劃和努力，錯(cuò)誤仍總是會(huì)發(fā)生。因?yàn)槿耸霟o過?
And when I think about this, of how I hope that my children will not judge me unkindly, and will forgive my shortcomings, I am forced to think of my own father and despite my earlier denials, I am forced to admit that me must have loved me. He did love me, and I know that.
There were little things that showed it. When I was a kid I had a real sweet tooth - we all did. My favourite food was glazed doughnuts and my father knew that. So every few weeks I would come downstairs in the morning and there on the kitchen counter was a bag of glazed doughnuts - no note, no explanation - just the doughnuts. It was like Santa Claus.
當(dāng)我想到這，想到我是多么希望我的孩子不會(huì)覺得我不夠好，而且會(huì)原諒我的缺點(diǎn)時(shí)，我不得不想起我自己的父親，不管我之前是多么地否定他，我必須承認(rèn)他一定是愛我的。他的確愛我，我知道的。從一件小事就可以看出來，在我小時(shí)候，非常喜歡吃甜食--孩子們都這樣。我父親知道我最喜歡吃面包圈。于是每隔幾個(gè)星期，當(dāng)我早上從樓上下來時(shí)，我都會(huì)再?gòu)N房的柜臺(tái)上發(fā)現(xiàn)一整袋面包圈--沒有字條、沒有說明。就像是圣誕老人送來的禮物。
Sometimes I would think about staying up late at night, so I could see him leave them there, but just like with Santa Claus, I didnt want to ruin the magic for fear that he would never do it again. My father had to leave them secretly at night, so as no one might catch him with his guard down. He was scared of human emotion, he didnt understand it or know how to deal with it. But he did know doughnuts.
有時(shí)我曾經(jīng)想熬夜藏在一邊，以看到他把它們留在那里。但就像對(duì)待圣誕老人的傳說那樣，我不想破壞掉這種神奇幻想，更害怕他再也不會(huì)繼續(xù)。我的父親得晚上悄悄地把它們留在那里，并不讓任何人知道。他害怕提及人類的情感。他不懂也不知道怎么處理。但他就懂得面包圈對(duì)我的意義。
And when I allow the floodgates to open up, there are other memories that come rushing back, memories of other tiny gestures, however imperfect, that showed that he did what he could. So tonight, rather than focusing on what my father didnt do, I want to focus on all the things he did do and on his own personal challenges. I want to stop judging him.
當(dāng)我打開記憶的洪閘時(shí)，更多的回憶涌現(xiàn)出來，那些關(guān)于一些微妙動(dòng)作的記憶，盡管已經(jīng)不太清晰，但絕對(duì)體現(xiàn)了他再盡力而為。于是今晚，與其專注于我父親沒有作到什么，我更愿意專注于所有他歷盡艱難盡力作到的事情。我想停止對(duì)他的判斷。
I have started reflecting on the fact that my father grew up in the South, in a very poor family. He came of age during the Depression and his own father, who struggled to feed his children, showed little affection towards his family and raised my father and his siblings with an iron fist. Who could have imagined what it was like to grow up a poor black man in the South, robbed of dignity, bereft of hope, struggling to become a man in a world that saw my father as subordinate. I was the first black artist to be played on MTV and I remember how big a deal it was even then. And that was in the 80s!
My father moved to Indiana and had a large family of his own, working long hours in the steel mills, work that kills the lungs and humbles the spirit, all to support his family. Is it any wonder that he found it difficult to expose his feelings? Is it any mystery that he hardened his heart, that he raised the emotional ramparts? And most of all, is it any wonder why he pushed his sons so hard to succeed as performers, so that they could be saved from what he knew to be a life of indignity and poverty?
I have begun to see that even my fathers harshness was a kind of love, an imperfect love, to be sure, but love nonetheless. He pushed me because he loved me. Because he wanted no man ever to look down at his offspring.
And now with time, rather than bitterness, I feel blessing. In the place of anger, I have found absolution. And in the place of revenge I have found reconciliation. And my initial fury has slowly given way to forgiveness.
我回想我的父親是在南方一個(gè)非常貧窮的家庭長(zhǎng)大的。他來自大蕭條時(shí)期，而我的父親的奮力養(yǎng)育著孩子們的父親，也沒有對(duì)家庭表現(xiàn)出多少慈愛，我的父親和其他兄弟姐妹在爺爺?shù)蔫F拳下長(zhǎng)大。誰設(shè)想過一個(gè)在南方長(zhǎng)大的黑人的處境?沒有尊嚴(yán)，沒有希望，想拼力在這個(gè)視我父親為下賤種的世界里爭(zhēng)得立足之地。我是第一個(gè)登上MTV臺(tái)的黑人藝人，我還記得那有多艱難，但那還是在80年代!后來我父親搬到印地安那州并且有了自己的大家庭，他在煉鋼廠長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的工作，那工作很低下，而且對(duì)肺有損害，這一切都是為了家。這是否很奇怪，因?yàn)樗D于表達(dá)?這是否很神秘，因?yàn)樗男哪菢语柦?jīng)滄桑?最重要的，這是否不可理解，因?yàn)樗扑膬鹤尤プ哐菟嚦晒χ?--為了免于再過受侮辱和貧窮的生活，我開始明白就連父親的咆哮也是一種愛，一種不完美的愛，但是盡管如此，他逼我因?yàn)樗麗畚?，因?yàn)樗Ｍ麤]人會(huì)鄙視他的子女，現(xiàn)在，想起曾經(jīng)的苦難，我感到幸福。在憤怒中，我發(fā)現(xiàn)了超脫，在復(fù)仇中，我發(fā)現(xiàn)了和解，就連最初的憤怒也慢慢變成了寬恕。
Almost a decade ago, I founded a charity called Heal the World. The title was something I felt inside me. Little did I know, as Shmuley later pointed out, that those two words form the cornerstone of Old Testament prophecy. Do I really believe that we can heal this world, that is riddled with war and genocide, even today? And do I really think that we can heal our children, the same children who can enter their schools with guns and hatred and shoot down their classmates, like they did at Columbine? Or children who can beat a defenceless toddler to death, like the tragic story of Jamie Bulger? Of course I do, or I wouldnt be here tonight.
差不多十年前，我建立了一個(gè)叫“拯救世界”的慈善機(jī)構(gòu)，這名字本身正是我潛藏的感覺，就我知道的一點(diǎn) ，正如Shmuley后來指出的那樣，那兩個(gè)字是古老預(yù)言實(shí)現(xiàn)的基礎(chǔ)，我們真的能拯救世界嗎?這個(gè)問題直到今天一直被戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)以及人種問題困繞著。我們真的能夠拯救孩子嗎?那些帶槍進(jìn)學(xué)校滿懷仇恨甚至向同學(xué)開槍的孩子，那些將被打者打死的孩子，就像Jamie Bulger的悲劇故事，我們真的可以嗎?是的，否則我今晚不會(huì)站在這里。
But it all begins with forgiveness, because to heal the world, we first have to heal ourselves. And to heal the kids, we first have to heal the child within, each and every one of us. As an adult, and as a parent, I realise that I cannot be a whole human being, nor a parent capable of unconditional love, until I put to rest the ghosts of my own childhood.
And thats what Im asking all of us to do tonight. Live up to the fifth of the Ten Commandments. Honour your parents by not judging them. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
That is why I want to forgive my father and to stop judging him. I want to forgive my father, because I want a father, and this is the only one that I've got.
但是這一切都從寬恕開始，因?yàn)橐仁澜缥覀儽仨毷紫日茸约?。而要拯救孩子，我們首先要保護(hù)孩子的內(nèi)心，人人有責(zé)，作為一個(gè)成年人，我意識(shí)到我不能作為一個(gè)完整的人存在，或者作為有能力無條件給予愛的父母，直到我童年的靈魂找到依靠。這也是今晚我讓大家做的事情。無愧于十大戒律第五條。敬愛你們的父母而不是褒貶他們，這就是為什么我要寬恕我的父親并且不再評(píng)論他，因?yàn)槲抑幌胍粋€(gè)“父親”，這也是我得到的。
I want the weight of my past lifted from my shoulders and I want to be free to step into a new relationship with my father, for the rest of my life, unhindered by the goblins of the past.
In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.
To all of you tonight who feel let down by your parents, I ask you to let down your disappointment. To all of you tonight who feel cheated by your fathers or mothers, I ask you not to cheat yourself further. And to all of you who wish to push your parents away, I ask you to extend you hand to them instead.
我想卸掉一切包袱和我父親和好，來度過我的余生，不受過去陰影的妨礙。如果世界充滿仇恨，我們?nèi)匀话灿诜N地，如果世界充滿憤怒，我們?nèi)匀桓矣诎参浚绻澜绯錆M絕望，我們?nèi)匀桓矣阢裤?，如果世界充滿猜度，我們?nèi)匀桓矣谛湃?，今晚讓父母失望的人們，我要你們?duì)自己的沮喪失望，今晚感覺被父母親欺騙的人們，我要你們不要再欺騙自己，今晚所有希望將父母踢開的人們，我要你們把手伸向他們。
I am asking you, I am asking myself, to give our parents the gift of unconditional love, so that they too may learn how to love from us, their children. So that love will finally be restored to a desolate and lonely world.
Shmuley once mentioned to me an ancient Biblical prophecy which says that a new world and a new time would come, when "the hearts of the parents would be restored through the hearts of their children".
我在要求你，我在要求我自己，把無條件的愛給我們的父母，這樣他們會(huì)從他們的孩子那里學(xué)會(huì)愛，這樣會(huì)最終重建一個(gè)愛的世界。Shmuley曾提到古書上的預(yù)言--新的世界將要到來，--當(dāng)父母的心換回孩子的心的時(shí)候。
My friends, we are that world, we are those children.
我的朋友們，我們就是那個(gè)世界，我們就是那些孩子。
Mahatma Gandhi said: "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." Tonight, be strong. Beyond being strong, rise to the greatest challenge of all - to restore that broken covenant. We must all overcome whatever crippling effects our childhoods may have had on our lives and in the words of Jesse Jackson, forgive each other, redeem each other and move on.
This call for forgiveness may not result in Oprah moments the world over, with thousands of children making up with their parents, but it will at least be a start, and well all be so much happier as a result.
圣雄甘地曾說：“弱者從不原諒，寬恕是強(qiáng)者的屬性?！苯裢恚饕粋€(gè)強(qiáng)者，并且超越強(qiáng)者，迎接的挑戰(zhàn)--治愈感情的創(chuàng)傷，我們一定能克服，無論我們童年受的傷害對(duì)生活的影響有多大，假定你的父母是無辜的，寬恕每個(gè)人，就贏得每個(gè)人，成千上萬孩子和他們的父母對(duì)寬恕的呼喚，或許在這一刻沒有結(jié)果，但這至少是一個(gè)開始，我們所有人都樂意看到的開始。
And so ladies and gentlemen, I conclude my remarks tonight with faith, joy and excitement.
From this day forward, may a new song be heard.
Let that new song be the sound of children laughing.
Let that new song be the sound of children playing.
Let that new song be the sound of children singing.
And let that new song be the sound of parents listening.
Together, let us create a symphony of hearts, marvelling at the miracle of our children and basking in the beauty of love.
Let us heal the world and blight its pain.
And may we all make beautiful music together.
God bless you, and I love you.
好了女士們先生們，我用三個(gè)詞來結(jié)束今晚的講話：自信，有趣，激動(dòng)。
從今往后，或許可以聽到一首新歌。
讓這新歌是孩子們的歡笑。
讓這新歌是孩子們的玩鬧。
讓這新歌是孩子們的歌唱。
讓這新歌可以讓所有的父母聽到。
讓我們一起創(chuàng)作一首心靈的交響曲，創(chuàng)造一個(gè)讓我們的孩子們沐浴在愛里的奇跡。
讓我們拯救世界，讓傷痛枯萎。 我們一同創(chuàng)作最美的音樂。
愿上帝保佑你們，我愛你們。