A colleague of mine got married two years ago but still has no plan of starting a family. Work remains her greatest source of pride. She spends 12 hours a day in the office every day and work is all that she talks about when she meets her friends occasionally. However, her competence at work does not extend to household chores which her husband does without complaint.
I work seven days a week. Chatting with friends over the Internet in the dead of night is probably my only pastime. Work keeps me so busy that I have no time for my family and friends, not to mention getting hitched and starting my own family.
There is nothing really wrong about having a hectic but fulfilling work life. However, Prime Minister Goh Chok Tong disclosed recently that response to measures to boost the national birthrate had not reaped the expected results. In addition, the number of singles had gone up. As a result, my friend and I seem to have become “enemies of the people” and “culprits” by causing the government a big headache and putting national survival in jeopardy.
As the issues have to do with the survival of the nation, the press has been running articles penned by concerned citizens on why young people are not getting married and reproducing themselves. Apart from criticisms and exhortations, some writers have also made suggestions to address the problems in the hope that Singapore will continue to prosper. I cannot help but wonder if the suggestions are workable.
As Mr Goh has said, the view of young people on marriage and family has changed. Even a more comprehensive package or a more generous baby bonus scheme will not make the better eduacated change their priority on career development and economic pursuit.
The friend who I mentioned earlier, for example, invariably uses either “no time” or “I don't need money” in response to friends who are concerned that it is time for her to start a family.
Another friend of mine, who is still childless after five years of marriage, enjoys thoroughly the freedom of life without the burden of children and has no wish to change the status quo. This is an indication that some young couples may opt to remain childless as they are worried about problems such as financial strain, nurturing and education. Of course, there are also those who have had it hard in life and do not wish to have children who may also “suffer” like them.
I am not sure what unmarried men think about marriage. But I have seen some young women who wasted much time before they realised that they were no longer young and that few eligible men were left in their circles.
Besides, women who are capable have no problem carving a niche for themselves in this time and age. Gone were the days when they had to depend on men. Seeking a life partner has become a matter of choice for women, not a fate that they are resigned to.
As for the meaning of life, it hinges on what conclusions one draws from one's own life experience. It is strictly a personal matter. Can someone else judge or decide what is good for you？ And you can try telling singles the joys of marriage and having children, but they will have to experience it to be convinced. In short, they are unlikely to rush into marriage and babies.
Government incentives are only temporary but some personal decisions are meant for life. Some have predicted that marriage and procreation must be linked to issues such as loyalty. People will have to make a small sacrifice for the sake of the nation.
The idea makes me feel a sense of grievance. I am single but I love my country. Still, I'd rather remain single than settle for someone incompatible. Did we not advocate eugenics some years back？ How can I be accused of being disloyal when I am just waiting for someone on the same wavelength？
I am well aware of the dire consequences of fertility falling below the replacement rate in the long run. But human life is short while life and growth in the universe continue endlessly. Our ideas and views are not static but will change with the times.
For young Singaporeans who are preoccupied with making a living or establishing a career, other things can be placed on the back burner. But what happens when they have more or less satisfied all their basic material needs？ When they can no longer enjoy the warmth of kinship, would they still advocate personal freedom？ When work achievements are no longer the be all and end all of life, getting married and having children may perhaps become a desire that they will not turn their back on again.
。The writer is a senior education officer. Translated by Yap Gee Poh.
有個同事前年結婚了,目前尚無生育計劃,工作仍舊是她生活里得意的項目；辦公室是她一天花去二分之一時間的地方,偶爾和大伙兒聊天談的都是工作。她的行政能力超強,處理家務卻不如她那任勞任怨的先生。
我呢,一周工作七天,夜深人靜時以文字和網(wǎng)友打情罵俏,其余時間卻因公務而忙得沒有和家人、老友話家常的閑功夫,更別說去經(jīng)營感情、組織家庭。
日子忙碌而充實,本來也沒什么不好,但近吳作棟總理透露,一系列的鼓勵生育措施反應不佳,單身人士越來越多；于是我們似乎都成為了人民“公敵”、政府感頭痛的目標、國家可能無法生存的“罪魁禍首”。
事關國家存亡,當然非同小可；所以這些天翻閱報章,總見關心國家前途者發(fā)微言以成大義,認真地分析年輕人不結婚生子之因,甚至滿懷熱誠地提供對策,期盼國家永遠昌盛、繁榮。然而,同聲譴責也好,苦口婆心也罷,作為“當事人”的我實在質疑這些建議的成效。
其實,誠如吳總理所言,我們的年輕人對婚姻和家庭的觀念改變了。再完善的配套、再豐厚的花紅也恐難動搖受過較高教育的人對經(jīng)濟和事業(yè)成果的重視。例如我上面提過的同事,她總以“沒有時間”以及“我不缺錢”來敷衍周圍關心她肚皮的好心人。
另一名結婚五年膝下猶虛的朋友也對眼下自由自在、不受孩子牽絆的生活感到十分滿意,不愿意有任何的改變；這也說明了有些年輕夫婦擔心經(jīng)濟吃緊,也憂慮照顧以及教育孩子的問題而選擇過兩人世界。當然,走過一路風雨而不愿“制造下一代以致他們也受苦”的也大有人在。
再說結婚問題。我不清楚未婚男性的想法,但我所看到的情況是,有些女性在年輕一點的時候蹉跎了歲月,年華老去時才驚覺未婚的好男人已經(jīng)所剩無幾了。
再說,現(xiàn)代經(jīng)濟結構讓有工作能力的女性找到自己的一片天,*了過去必須仰賴男性而活的定律,于是和另一個人攜手共老就成了女性同胞的一種人生選擇,再也不是無可奈何的出路。
而人生價值的領略,是反芻自己生命經(jīng)驗的結晶,是屬于每個人自己的事,旁人如何判斷何種選擇為優(yōu)？何況相夫教子的樂趣可以口耳相傳,無法感同身受,當然更無法草率行事。
政府所提供的許多好處是一時的,有些個人決定卻是一輩子的事。有人預言,結婚生子的決定勢必要和國家效忠等相關課題聯(lián)想在一起,成為犧牲小我的選項之一。
我突然感到很委屈,我單身,但是我很愛國；我愛國,但是我也寧缺勿濫。若干年前不是倡議優(yōu)生學嗎？那么我在等待一個在思想層次上可以溝通的伴又是哪門子的不愛國行為？
其實,我當然了解人口替代不足在一段時日之后將為我國帶來多大的麻煩；但是人生在世,匆匆數(shù)十寒暑,宇宙世界卻是周而復始、生生不息的。許多觀念、想法與時俱移,不可能亙古不變。
目前年輕國人為生活而勞碌奔波,為求生存的需要而有了各自看世界的眼睛,但是當有一天大家的物欲都已經(jīng)基本滿足了呢？當大家都失去家庭溫暖的時候,我們還會崇尚個人自由嗎？當事業(yè)成就再也滿足不了我們對人生的追求時,結婚生子就可能成為一種義無反顧的需要了。
。作者是本地資深教育工作者
I work seven days a week. Chatting with friends over the Internet in the dead of night is probably my only pastime. Work keeps me so busy that I have no time for my family and friends, not to mention getting hitched and starting my own family.
There is nothing really wrong about having a hectic but fulfilling work life. However, Prime Minister Goh Chok Tong disclosed recently that response to measures to boost the national birthrate had not reaped the expected results. In addition, the number of singles had gone up. As a result, my friend and I seem to have become “enemies of the people” and “culprits” by causing the government a big headache and putting national survival in jeopardy.
As the issues have to do with the survival of the nation, the press has been running articles penned by concerned citizens on why young people are not getting married and reproducing themselves. Apart from criticisms and exhortations, some writers have also made suggestions to address the problems in the hope that Singapore will continue to prosper. I cannot help but wonder if the suggestions are workable.
As Mr Goh has said, the view of young people on marriage and family has changed. Even a more comprehensive package or a more generous baby bonus scheme will not make the better eduacated change their priority on career development and economic pursuit.
The friend who I mentioned earlier, for example, invariably uses either “no time” or “I don't need money” in response to friends who are concerned that it is time for her to start a family.
Another friend of mine, who is still childless after five years of marriage, enjoys thoroughly the freedom of life without the burden of children and has no wish to change the status quo. This is an indication that some young couples may opt to remain childless as they are worried about problems such as financial strain, nurturing and education. Of course, there are also those who have had it hard in life and do not wish to have children who may also “suffer” like them.
I am not sure what unmarried men think about marriage. But I have seen some young women who wasted much time before they realised that they were no longer young and that few eligible men were left in their circles.
Besides, women who are capable have no problem carving a niche for themselves in this time and age. Gone were the days when they had to depend on men. Seeking a life partner has become a matter of choice for women, not a fate that they are resigned to.
As for the meaning of life, it hinges on what conclusions one draws from one's own life experience. It is strictly a personal matter. Can someone else judge or decide what is good for you？ And you can try telling singles the joys of marriage and having children, but they will have to experience it to be convinced. In short, they are unlikely to rush into marriage and babies.
Government incentives are only temporary but some personal decisions are meant for life. Some have predicted that marriage and procreation must be linked to issues such as loyalty. People will have to make a small sacrifice for the sake of the nation.
The idea makes me feel a sense of grievance. I am single but I love my country. Still, I'd rather remain single than settle for someone incompatible. Did we not advocate eugenics some years back？ How can I be accused of being disloyal when I am just waiting for someone on the same wavelength？
I am well aware of the dire consequences of fertility falling below the replacement rate in the long run. But human life is short while life and growth in the universe continue endlessly. Our ideas and views are not static but will change with the times.
For young Singaporeans who are preoccupied with making a living or establishing a career, other things can be placed on the back burner. But what happens when they have more or less satisfied all their basic material needs？ When they can no longer enjoy the warmth of kinship, would they still advocate personal freedom？ When work achievements are no longer the be all and end all of life, getting married and having children may perhaps become a desire that they will not turn their back on again.
。The writer is a senior education officer. Translated by Yap Gee Poh.
有個同事前年結婚了,目前尚無生育計劃,工作仍舊是她生活里得意的項目；辦公室是她一天花去二分之一時間的地方,偶爾和大伙兒聊天談的都是工作。她的行政能力超強,處理家務卻不如她那任勞任怨的先生。
我呢,一周工作七天,夜深人靜時以文字和網(wǎng)友打情罵俏,其余時間卻因公務而忙得沒有和家人、老友話家常的閑功夫,更別說去經(jīng)營感情、組織家庭。
日子忙碌而充實,本來也沒什么不好,但近吳作棟總理透露,一系列的鼓勵生育措施反應不佳,單身人士越來越多；于是我們似乎都成為了人民“公敵”、政府感頭痛的目標、國家可能無法生存的“罪魁禍首”。
事關國家存亡,當然非同小可；所以這些天翻閱報章,總見關心國家前途者發(fā)微言以成大義,認真地分析年輕人不結婚生子之因,甚至滿懷熱誠地提供對策,期盼國家永遠昌盛、繁榮。然而,同聲譴責也好,苦口婆心也罷,作為“當事人”的我實在質疑這些建議的成效。
其實,誠如吳總理所言,我們的年輕人對婚姻和家庭的觀念改變了。再完善的配套、再豐厚的花紅也恐難動搖受過較高教育的人對經(jīng)濟和事業(yè)成果的重視。例如我上面提過的同事,她總以“沒有時間”以及“我不缺錢”來敷衍周圍關心她肚皮的好心人。
另一名結婚五年膝下猶虛的朋友也對眼下自由自在、不受孩子牽絆的生活感到十分滿意,不愿意有任何的改變；這也說明了有些年輕夫婦擔心經(jīng)濟吃緊,也憂慮照顧以及教育孩子的問題而選擇過兩人世界。當然,走過一路風雨而不愿“制造下一代以致他們也受苦”的也大有人在。
再說結婚問題。我不清楚未婚男性的想法,但我所看到的情況是,有些女性在年輕一點的時候蹉跎了歲月,年華老去時才驚覺未婚的好男人已經(jīng)所剩無幾了。
再說,現(xiàn)代經(jīng)濟結構讓有工作能力的女性找到自己的一片天,*了過去必須仰賴男性而活的定律,于是和另一個人攜手共老就成了女性同胞的一種人生選擇,再也不是無可奈何的出路。
而人生價值的領略,是反芻自己生命經(jīng)驗的結晶,是屬于每個人自己的事,旁人如何判斷何種選擇為優(yōu)？何況相夫教子的樂趣可以口耳相傳,無法感同身受,當然更無法草率行事。
政府所提供的許多好處是一時的,有些個人決定卻是一輩子的事。有人預言,結婚生子的決定勢必要和國家效忠等相關課題聯(lián)想在一起,成為犧牲小我的選項之一。
我突然感到很委屈,我單身,但是我很愛國；我愛國,但是我也寧缺勿濫。若干年前不是倡議優(yōu)生學嗎？那么我在等待一個在思想層次上可以溝通的伴又是哪門子的不愛國行為？
其實,我當然了解人口替代不足在一段時日之后將為我國帶來多大的麻煩；但是人生在世,匆匆數(shù)十寒暑,宇宙世界卻是周而復始、生生不息的。許多觀念、想法與時俱移,不可能亙古不變。
目前年輕國人為生活而勞碌奔波,為求生存的需要而有了各自看世界的眼睛,但是當有一天大家的物欲都已經(jīng)基本滿足了呢？當大家都失去家庭溫暖的時候,我們還會崇尚個人自由嗎？當事業(yè)成就再也滿足不了我們對人生的追求時,結婚生子就可能成為一種義無反顧的需要了。
。作者是本地資深教育工作者