GRE寫作成為橫在中國學生的理想和現(xiàn)實之間的一大障礙，因此，如何攻克寫作這道屏障，成為擺在我們面前的首要任務(wù)。
Environmentalproblemswillrequireajointefferctamoungpeopletosolve,however,environmentalproblemsmaynotcausepeopletocometogether.Shouldtheproblemscontinueforanextendedperiodoftimebeforeanyeffertismadetosolvethem,theywillreachapointofnoreturnnomatterhowpeoplecometogethertoworkonit.Whenthishappenstherewillbeincreasedshortageinournaturalresouses.Assupplyofourresoucesgoesdownanddemandremainsthesameorgoesuptherewillbeincreasedpresuretoclaimwhatresoucesremain.Soinsteadofpeopleworkingtogethertosolvetheproblem,theywillbefightingforwhat’sleftbytheproblem.
Tosolvethis,peopleneedtocometogetherbeforetheproblemreachesastateofnoreturn.Thismaybehardtodosincetheeffectsofenvironmentalproblemsarenotyetfeltbyalargedegree(iffeltatall)byeveryone.Atthispointintimemanyfeelitisnotthereproblemtoworryaboutsinceitdoesnotimmediatlyeffectthem.Toremidythispeopleshouldbecomemoreawareoftheircurrentenvironment.
評價
Thisresponseisseriouslyflawed.Theessay’sstrongestfeatureisitsfairlyclearposition:itagreeswiththeclaimthatenvironmentalproblemswillrequirecooperationandpresentsascenarioforwhatwillhappenifthereisnocooperation--外語學習網(wǎng)conflictoverdiminishingresources.However,thepositionisnotadequatelydeveloped.Threatened"resources"andthe"effectsofenvironmentalproblems"arementionedbutnotspecified,andtheessaydoesnotprovideanyexamplesofhowpeoplemight"cometogether"toaddresstheproblemorhowtheymight"becomemoreawareoftheircurrentenvironment."
Someofthesentencesarewordedclearly("Soinsteadofpeopleworkingtogether???"),butothersaresoflawedbyimprecisewordchoicethatthemeaningisdifficulttounderstand:".??otyetfeltbyalargedegree(iffeltatall)byeveryone."
Also,apervasivepatternoferrors,includingrun-onsentences(thefirstsentence,forexample)andunclearpronounreferentskeepthisessayatthescorelevelof2. 感謝您閱讀《歷年GRE考試Issue主題范文及評析17 》一文，出國留學網(wǎng)(liuxue86.com)編輯部希望本文能幫助到您。
Environmentalproblemswillrequireajointefferctamoungpeopletosolve,however,environmentalproblemsmaynotcausepeopletocometogether.Shouldtheproblemscontinueforanextendedperiodoftimebeforeanyeffertismadetosolvethem,theywillreachapointofnoreturnnomatterhowpeoplecometogethertoworkonit.Whenthishappenstherewillbeincreasedshortageinournaturalresouses.Assupplyofourresoucesgoesdownanddemandremainsthesameorgoesuptherewillbeincreasedpresuretoclaimwhatresoucesremain.Soinsteadofpeopleworkingtogethertosolvetheproblem,theywillbefightingforwhat’sleftbytheproblem.
Tosolvethis,peopleneedtocometogetherbeforetheproblemreachesastateofnoreturn.Thismaybehardtodosincetheeffectsofenvironmentalproblemsarenotyetfeltbyalargedegree(iffeltatall)byeveryone.Atthispointintimemanyfeelitisnotthereproblemtoworryaboutsinceitdoesnotimmediatlyeffectthem.Toremidythispeopleshouldbecomemoreawareoftheircurrentenvironment.
評價
Thisresponseisseriouslyflawed.Theessay’sstrongestfeatureisitsfairlyclearposition:itagreeswiththeclaimthatenvironmentalproblemswillrequirecooperationandpresentsascenarioforwhatwillhappenifthereisnocooperation--外語學習網(wǎng)conflictoverdiminishingresources.However,thepositionisnotadequatelydeveloped.Threatened"resources"andthe"effectsofenvironmentalproblems"arementionedbutnotspecified,andtheessaydoesnotprovideanyexamplesofhowpeoplemight"cometogether"toaddresstheproblemorhowtheymight"becomemoreawareoftheircurrentenvironment."
Someofthesentencesarewordedclearly("Soinsteadofpeopleworkingtogether???"),butothersaresoflawedbyimprecisewordchoicethatthemeaningisdifficulttounderstand:".??otyetfeltbyalargedegree(iffeltatall)byeveryone."
Also,apervasivepatternoferrors,includingrun-onsentences(thefirstsentence,forexample)andunclearpronounreferentskeepthisessayatthescorelevelof2. 感謝您閱讀《歷年GRE考試Issue主題范文及評析17 》一文，出國留學網(wǎng)(liuxue86.com)編輯部希望本文能幫助到您。