學(xué)習(xí)價值,空前絕后!30分滿分托福作文賞析

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  無老師優(yōu)秀范例:With the improvement of living standard of modern people, leisure activities become more and more important for them, such as go to the museum, concert, or go to swim with friends and so on. There is no doubt that government should give subsidies to support those public activities, but some people argue that it’s more important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational facilities. I disagree with this opinion.
    無老師中文翻譯:隨著現(xiàn)代人生活標(biāo)準(zhǔn)越來越高,休閑活動對我們來說變得越來越重要了,比如說,逛博物館,欣賞音樂會,亦或者和朋友去游泳。政府應(yīng)該對于公眾活動有補(bǔ)貼,但是另一些人則認(rèn)為政府應(yīng)該將錢投入到藝術(shù)館和音樂廳,而不是投到娛樂設(shè)施上。我不同意這個觀點。
    無老師平庸范例:When people improve their living level, rest is more and more important to us, for example, going to museum, going to concert, and going to swim with friends. The government should give money to the public movement, but other people think the government should provide these money to museums and music center, but not to the rest things. I do not agree with this opinion.
    本次的優(yōu)秀范本原型,是一篇30分托福作文滿分考友的習(xí)作,學(xué)習(xí)價值,空前絕后!加牛?。?!
    不過,-_-?。?!無老師這次真的是出手重了一點,平庸范例寫完估計幼兒園的小盆友看完都會吐血不止。
    無老師精析:當(dāng)然又是先請出優(yōu)秀范例:With the improvement of living standard of modern people, leisure activities become more and more important for them, such as go to the museum, concert, or go to swim with friends and so on.然后從衛(wèi)生間馬桶里找出來平庸范例:When people improve their living level, rest is more and more important to us, for example, going to museum, going to concert, and going to swim with friends.
    With the improvement of living standard of modern people,“伴隨著…”,想一想,其實很多考友很少用“伴隨著”這個表達(dá)方式,那么各位考友常用的是什么呢?就是“當(dāng)….時候”嗎,但是實際上,在英語里,就是該用with的這個伴隨狀態(tài)。這就是前幾天無老師微博里寫的:“優(yōu)秀的作文不是將中文一對一的翻譯成英文,而是要用英語去表達(dá)自己的意思”,就是這個意思。
    然后接下來,improvement,想一想各位考友最常用的就是他的動詞的狀態(tài),但是實際上書面語中,只要各位考友注意就會發(fā)現(xiàn),經(jīng)常故意用這個動詞的名詞性形式,來表示動詞的意思,這個一定是各位考友該學(xué)的!然后接下來,“生活標(biāo)準(zhǔn)”用level就不好了,這篇優(yōu)秀范文中用的是standard,不過其實如果換成quality則更為地道!
    leisure activities become more and more important for them,這個部分,則是赤果果的在秀自己的詞匯量,沒設(shè)么可講的。當(dāng)然,微博里的一位考友問了more and more important就一定是低分的保證么?很顯然不是!這篇滿分托福作文就是一個很好的例證。
    其后,優(yōu)秀范例的such as go to the museum, concert, or go to swim with friends and so on.跟平庸范例一樣,沒什么可講的。
    第二句,就是一個超長的句子“There is no doubt that government should give subsidies to support those public activities, but some people argue that it’s more important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational facilities.”對比平庸范例”The government should give money to the public movement, but other people think the government should provide these money to museums and music center, but not to the rest things.“
    優(yōu)秀范例的There is no doubt that,直譯過來是“不可否認(rèn)”的意思,不過實際上,國內(nèi)各位考友經(jīng)常在表達(dá)這個意思的時候,直接簡單的用Some people think嗎!看到這里的時候,無老師相信很多考友一定會心的一笑,O(∩_∩)O~,自己也知道在什么時候換用了。接下來subsidies則是又一次秀了單詞量,沒什么可解釋的。至于“public activities”很顯然public誰都會寫,但是用activities來表示“活動”則是各位考友該記在自己的小本子里了。
    其后,優(yōu)秀范例的“some people argue”很多考友則認(rèn)為是“很多人爭論”,其實你大錯特錯了,這里的argue應(yīng)該是“認(rèn)為”的意思,因此,以后想用think的時候,是不是該停手,思考一下,馬上換為“argue”了^_^。
    然后接下來,一個超長的more…than…句型,而平庸范例里寫的是“…, but…”怎么樣,頓感自己像平庸范例里那個句子有多中式英語了吧:P,然后優(yōu)秀范例用to do…和to do…進(jìn)行連接,其實我們在寫自己的作文的時候,也就是用do something了嗎。
    然后同樣是“花錢”,優(yōu)秀范例僅用了一個spend,然后后面分別用了兩個to do something,直接搞定,超級簡潔!其后的“art museums”,“music performance center”和“recreational facilities”分別對應(yīng)我們經(jīng)常寫的“museums”“center”和“rest things”,怎么樣什么感覺,直接吐血外,加拿小本默默地記下來了吧^_^
    and the very lastO(∩_∩)O~,怎么樣,又學(xué)了一個用法吧。最后一句的disagree遠(yuǎn)比平庸范例的do not agree簡潔得多。
    其實從中式英語到地道英語,只是一層膜,一捅即破。關(guān)鍵是看你是否真的用心去積累^_^