今天為大家分享成功獲得伯明翰大學offer的三份個人陳述，分別是哲學、歷史學、環(huán)境與可持續(xù)發(fā)展三個專業(yè)，講故事、談書籍、用比喻，五星的范文都有這些寫作亮點。留學文書3篇個人陳述范文分享，下面文章由出國留學網(wǎng)小編所整理，希望能幫助到您。
講故事、談書籍、用比喻，個人陳述絕對是你盡情展示自己最好的地方，當然你得把自己“裝扮”成招生官想看到的樣子，這里分享成功獲得伯明翰大學的3篇文書范文，一起來看看吧。
范文一：
專業(yè)：哲學
Offer：伯明翰大學 倫敦大學國王學院 約克大學 諾丁漢大學
評分：五星
“Thefirst and simplest emotion which we discover in the human mind is curiosity”. I believe that when the mind is allowed to think outside thepre-defined constraints of society, the different directions in which it cantravel are infinite.
Philosophyfor me is the basis on which our lives are based and after reading Aristotle’s Ethics, it is fascinating to find that a lot of the beliefs I holdare so similar to those held by someone who lived over two thousand years ago.My main inspiration for taking Philosophy is Socrates and his unapologeticmoral compass. Even when confronted with his own mortality, he refuses to takethe easy option that would compromise what he believes in, for me Socratesincorporates everything I feel a good person should be. I am most interested inlearning about Ancient Greek philosophy because I feel that in this day andage, the majority of people have lost sight of the basic principles of moralsand ethics written by the likes of Plato and Aristotle all those years ago. Ialso believe like Descartes that I must forget everything I think I know aboutlife and start from the beginning and the next step for me is university.
I have particularly enjoyed studying Dr Carol Dweck’stheories of Intelligence. I related to this study because I feel that it summedup my years at school almost perfectly. For most of my childhood up until theend of my teenage years my view on intelligence was, as Dr Dweck theorizes, the“Entity theory of intelligence”.Threatened by failure I have shied away from academic study, because I feltthat failure indicated a lack of intelligence and because of this view I nevercommitted myself to my studies. My views on this have radically changed overthe last 7 years and I now believe that intelligence is interchangeable, thatif curiosity is ignited in the right way, it can be enhanced with the onlylimitation being yourself.
I amcurrently a student of Psychology and Politics which I am really enjoying. Itis exciting to be back in a learning environment and I feel that even though Ihave done a lot of reading at home, nothing compares to being able to debate apoint and question reasoning face to face. I have always been an enthusiasticreader but my thirst for knowledge and understanding didn’t really explode until I was 18. The advancement in availablematerial through the internet has helped me in my quest to learn and understandanything and everything. I have read a huge amount of material on many varyingsubjects from the philosophy of war and pacifism to the psychology behindserial killers and the study of love.
Myquestions are questions not only about the world around me but questions aboutmyself as a human being, is my moral compass true and just? Or does an era aperson lives in determine what they perceive to be right and wrong and why? Forme this is a journey of self-discovery, analysing myself, what I am and how Ihave come to be the way I am is just as important to me as understanding theworld around me.
I believe that stimulating the body is just as important as stimulating the mindso next year I will be taking part in the Virgin London Marathon on behalf ofthe World Wide Fund for Nature. I am also fairly well travelled and lived inAustralia for 2 years, I also did charity work in Bolivia and have visitedPeru, Thailand and Laos amongst others. Leonardo Da Vinci was once asked whatthe key to his genius was; his reply was simple “SapereVedere” which translates as ‘Knowinghow to see’. For me understanding the mind andcombining this with the basic principles of what it is to be aware, to behuman, our interactions and what we think to be right and wrong is so important.
點評：
1. 首句為引用，引用需謹慎，要能幫助說明問題;
2. 談《亞里士多德倫理學》、古希臘哲學對自己的影響，與哲學產(chǎn)生聯(lián)系，具體且具說服力
3. 核心詞“curiosity”，全文都圍繞這一主題詞展開;
4. 談學習內(nèi)容，顯示對哲學的熱愛和較全面的學識素養(yǎng);
5. 最后一段話談身體與大腦的關(guān)系，自然引到課外活動和興趣愛好上來。
6. 建議多談實例，少概括和總結(jié)。
范文二：
專業(yè)：歷史學
Offer：英國倫敦大學學院 卡迪夫大學 伯明翰大學
評分：五星
Mydecision to study History was never a difficult one. Having always beencaptivated by the past and its relationship to the present, study at AdvancedLevel has served only to strengthen my interest. Last year I especially enjoyedreading Gash's biography of Robert Peel. In comparing his approach to historywith that of other historians, I found myself profoundly interested in Gash'sconviction that Peel was an individual who shaped not only his time, but therest of the century. Seeking to read more widely than the syllabus allowed,Christopher Hill's 'God's Englishman' provided me with a historical perspectivewhich, although very different, appealed to me perhaps as much as Gash's.Indeed, the comparison between interpretations is one of the most excitingparts of the study of history; but far from being persuaded by a singleperspective, I strive to understand and appreciate the differences. Also ofparticular appeal to me was reading Hague's biography of Pitt the Younger.Although not a professional historian, Hague's expertise in today's politicsand the politics of previous centuries helped me to bridge the gap between thetwo.
The world of ideas also fascinates me, which began with my reading aboutMarxism after studying Russian history. With the help of my school's"Intellectual Development Extending Able Students" program I expandedmy interest in philosophy, which was most helpful in comparing Gash and Hill'srespective views of history. Through the program I took specific interest in Nietzsche,whose appeal to me is owed partly to the emphasis he places uponinterpretation, and partly to the satisfaction I found in finishing"Beyond Good and Evil" with more questions posed than answered!
Similarlymy Advanced Level studies have also helped stimulate my historical interest.Law has brought me closer to politics and current affairs, and there were timeswhen studying factory legislation of the nineteenth century obscured thedivisions between History and Law. Post-graduation, I aspire to train as a legalprofessional, and hope to take with me a better understanding of legal history.Moreover, my interest in Geography has always leant toward the socio-political/economic aspects of the subject, which are closely linked to the study ofhistory. Learning German and spending time in Germany has brought not just alife skill, but also a better understanding of German culture.
Much more than alife enhancing and simple pleasure, it became of great use in my study ofnineteenth century German history and in appreciating Marx, Nietzsche and evenLuther to a greater extent. Although this historical awareness may beconsidered narrow, one of my main motivations for studying history at degreelevel is to broaden my horizons. This will certainly include extending my,already well cemented, love of the discipline.
Believing the old adage about a healthy mind in a healthy body, I have long been a memberof a lifesaving club. This has allowed me to qualify as a pool lifeguard thusimproving my medical awareness and sense of responsibility. Above all, the rolehas helped my confidence to respond in an emergency which, as a practicalperson, I would wish always to be able to do. I strive to complete all tasks toa high standard and with great enthusiasm and have developed a fiercedetermination to achieve.
Additionally, regularly competing as a lead speakerin my School's Debating Society is not only greatly enjoyable, but has alsohelped to stimulate my competitive nature. In order to unwind, I often writecreatively; which is frequently not just a matter of pen and paper, but onewhich involves guitar and piano (both of which I have some fluency in). Ifsuccessful in my application I will capitalise on the opportunity to learn fromleading practitioners in their fields. Furthermore, I will offer the utmost ofmy abilities in both the curricular and extra-curricular aspects of universitylife.
點評：
1. 申請者以“閱讀”為主題，談了《羅伯特皮爾傳》等多本書籍，且都有自身思考，同時展示了自己的哲學素養(yǎng);
2. 第一段內(nèi)容過多，應該有自然分段，關(guān)于在學校的活動項目可以組織成新的一段;
3. 介紹多種與歷史相關(guān)學科的學習，比如法律、地理，展示了申請者學習熱情和潛能;
4. 最后提到興趣愛好，有具體的例子，展示了多種素質(zhì)。
范文三：
專業(yè)：環(huán)境和可持續(xù)發(fā)展
Offer：東英吉利亞大學蘭卡斯特大學 伯明翰大學 圣安德魯斯大學
星級：五星
Mankindis rocketing towards an unrecognisable existence. Bird song resonates withexplosive drilling; monoculture has usurped diversity; indigenous knowledge isdrowning in concrete. These are the ever increasing signs that humanresponsibility has leapt from the wheel, and left destruction on cruisecontrol.
The dynamic relationship between humans and the Earth has always captivated me. Ican recall the first time I heard the words ‘climatechange,’ ‘consumerism,’ and ‘overpopulation’; more importantly, Iremember the lump in my throat and the worry that lined my face like anOrdnance Survey map. I chose A level Environmental Studies to give substance tothe issues that are continually significant to me. Discovering the pollutionpandemic, alternative energy, protocols of Montreal, Kyoto and more has fuelledme with a drive to make sustainable living not only more accessible, butglobally more accepted.
Further study of a related degree is the only wayforward for me. A desire to complement the broad spectrum of EnvironmentalStudies naturally led me to the fascinating intricacy of Biology. Here myscientific skills have been honed by controlled experiments, leading tostatistical analysis and debating ethical issues. Holistically, EnglishLiterature was an obvious choice; the need for imaginative communicators isvital to catalyse understanding and unity. Extensive essay writing combinedwith an exploration of views and purpose has shaped me into an open minded,creative, and engaging writer.
After a levels, I am deferring my university entry due to a placement I have securedin Ecuador. For three months, I will join a small, voluntary team in the Andeanrainforest. This is a grass roots project; the core of the work involvingrestructuring the community’s income from timberlogging to eco tourism and organic farming, whilst providing environmentaleducation in a local school. This experience will give me a unique opportunityto apply my studies to a real life situation and, vitally, help sew the seed ofenvironmental conservation to the tourists and indigenous community. I haveraised my project fund through part time jobs in a local café and bar. Balancing this with my other endeavours such as The Dukeof Edinburgh Award, cooking, and salsa dancing has been challenging, but I havemaintained my dedication to all with zeal. The determination it has taken toplan this trip has ignited a work ethic that will help me throughout thechallenges of university.
Forthe future, my vision is to use my degree to communicate the urgency to actupon what we are continually learning about the Earth, before the ramificationsof our actions become catastrophic. I understand that cultures have a right todevelop to gain equal standards of sanitation and economic stability;volunteering in the Salvation Army soup kitchens has shown me people who aredesperately suffering. Yet it is imperative global standards of living areprogressed in a way that promotes harmony throughout the environmental andsocial realms, without compromising future needs.
Retreating glaciers, drought,foreign disease: far too many tragedies prove we have a debt to pay to ourincredible planet, a duty to evolve society around sustainable ways of life.The thought of studying issues of such overwhelming importance fills me withawe. I cannot wait to be in a community where my enthusiasm is shared byexperts who have the knowledge, resources and experience to help me flourish.
It was during an English lesson that I stumbled upon this unforgettable omen: “The sedge is wither’d from the lake, and nobirds sing.” These poignant words, by the poet Keats,were even credited in Rachel Carson’s revolutionary ‘Silent Spring’. However, I’m glad to say: Mr. Keats, I disagree. Humanity has not yet renderedyour prophecy true. Through university, I hope to take my first steps to helpsteer the world from the clutches of devastation, before it is too late.
點評：
1. 第一段用了形象的比喻，闡述申請者對環(huán)境的深刻認識，同時顯示不錯的英文功底;
2. 申請者在全文中用了不少比喻，使文章生動且與眾不同;
3. 申請者談了關(guān)于生物、科學實驗技能、英國文學的學習，展示了多樣的知識架構(gòu);
4. 講了自己參加與環(huán)境相關(guān)的志愿實踐推遲入學的小故事，選擇非常好;
5. 為了平衡內(nèi)容，談了獎學金、烹飪和跳舞，然而這一段描述過于刻意，“ Balancing this with my other endeavours such as……”不應該在文中明確表示出來。
6. 最后，首尾呼應，展示了一種積極樂觀和自信的面貌。