下面是出國留學(xué)網(wǎng)提供的搞笑英文個性簽名，歡迎閱讀。
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
越活越“二”?；畹嚼希嚼?。
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
在這個世界上，我最不愿意做的事就是傷害你，但是這件事仍在我的考慮之列。
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
知識就是說你知道西紅柿是一種水果;智慧就好似不要把它放進(jìn)水果沙拉里。
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining
上帝瞅著咱們呢，大伙好歹喜感點吧!
I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
老子拼死拼活奮斗到食物鏈頂端，不是為了成為一個素食者。
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt
剽悍的人生不需要解釋。
It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end
跳樓的時候，“啊——”的時候還沒死，“啪!”那才是死了。
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were
好客就是：讓客人覺得他們像在他們家一樣，盡管你真的希望他們滾回他們家。
If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants。
直譯：如果你始終腳踏實地，那就別想穿褲子了。
意譯：人太老實沒法活。
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine。
世界總是在變，但我卻怎么也便不出來。
人生何處不杯具，唯有面對飲水機(jī)。
Money is not everything There‘s Mastercard & Visa
鈔票不是萬能的，有時還需要信用卡。
One should love animals They are so tasty
每個人都應(yīng)該熱愛動物，因為它們很好吃。
Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two
每個成功男人的背后，都有一個女人。每個不成功男人的背后，都有兩個。
Every man should marry After all, happiness is not the only thing in life
再快樂的單身漢遲早也會結(jié)婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。
The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise
聰明人都是未婚的，結(jié)婚的人很難再聰明起來。
Success is a relative term It brings so many relatives
成功是一個相關(guān)名詞，他會給你帶來很多不相關(guān)的親戚(聯(lián)系)。
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today
不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
Love is photogenic It needs darkness to develop
愛情就象照片，需要大量的暗房時間來培養(yǎng)。
Children in backseats cause accidents Accidents in backseats cause children
后排座位上的小孩會生出意外，后排座位上的意外會生出小孩。
"Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep
"現(xiàn)在的夢想決定著你的將來"，所以還是再睡一會吧。
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning
應(yīng)該有更好的方式開始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每個上午都醒來。
"Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk? "
"努力工作不會導(dǎo)致死亡!"不過我不會用自己去證明。
"Work fascinates me" I can look at it for hours! "
"工作好有意思耶!"尤其是看著別人工作。
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends
神決定了誰是你的親戚，幸運的是在選擇朋友方面他給了你留了余地。
When two‘s company, three‘s the result!
兩個人的狀態(tài)是不穩(wěn)定的，三個人才是!
A dress is like a barbed fence It protects the premises without restricting the view
服飾就象鐵絲網(wǎng)，它阻止你冒然行動但并不妨礙你盡情的觀看。
The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget The more you forget, the less you know So why bother to learn
學(xué)的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘記的越多，忘記的越多，知道的越少，為什么學(xué)來著?
No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry
沒有人值得你流淚，值得讓你這么做的人不會讓你哭泣。
If you fail, don't forget to learn your lesson
如果你失敗了，千萬別忘了汲取教訓(xùn)。
Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you
不要為那些不愿在你身上花費時間的人而浪費你的時間
Live a noble and honest life Reviving past times in your old age will help you to enjoy your life again
過一種高尚而誠實的生活。當(dāng)你年老時回想起過去，你就能再一次享受人生。
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world
對于世界而言，你是一個人;但是對于某個人，你是他的整個世界。
Never judge people by their appearance
永遠(yuǎn)不要以貌取人。
Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to
不要著急，最好的總會在最不經(jīng)意的時候出現(xiàn)。
Remember the best love is to love others unconditionally rather than make demands on them
記?。鹤詈玫膼鄞嬖谟趯e人的愛勝于對別人的索求之上。
Use your crystal goblets Do not save your best perfume, and use it every time you feel you want it
舉起你的酒杯吧。不要吝嗇灑上你最好的香水，你想用的時候就享用吧!
Search for knowledge, read more, sit on your front porch and admire the view without paying attention to your needs
尋找更多的知識，多讀一些書，坐在你家的前廊里，以贊美的眼光去享受眼前的風(fēng)景，不要帶上任何功利的想法。
Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you
在你想了解別人也想讓別人了解你之前，先完善并了解自己。
Do not keep anything for a special occasion, because every day that you live is a SPECIAL OCCASION
不要將你的東西為了某一個特別的時刻而預(yù)留著，因為你生活的每一天都是那么特別。
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile
縱然傷心，也不要愁眉不展，因為你不知是誰會愛上你的笑容。
"There are only two creatures," says a proverb, "who can surmount the pyramids-the eagle and the snail"
俗話說：“能登上金字塔的生物，只有兩種------鷹和蝸牛。”
Remember: Whatever happens, happens for a reason
記?。喝魏问虑榈陌l(fā)生都有因有起。
It only needs early cultivation to become a power
只需及早培養(yǎng)，記憶自會成為一種才能。
Don't let a little dispute break up a great friendship
不要讓小小的爭端損毀了一場偉大的友誼。
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have
愛你的人如果沒有按你所希望的方式來愛你，那并不代表他們沒有全心全意地愛你。
Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment; not only about survival
生活是一串串的快樂時光;我們不僅僅是為了生存而生存。
Forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times, and the confused times
真正的朋友會與你一同度過困難、傷心和煩惱的時刻。
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful
在遇到夢中人之前，上天也許會安排我們先遇到別的人;在我們終于遇見心儀的人時，便應(yīng)當(dāng)心存感激。
Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened
不要因為結(jié)束而哭泣，微笑吧，為你的曾經(jīng)擁有。
However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names
不論你的生活如何卑賤，你要面對它生活，不要躲避它，更別用惡言咒罵它。
The smallest courtesies along the rough roads of life are like the little birds that sing to us all winter long, and make that season of ice and snow more endurable
在坎坷的生活道路上，最細(xì)小的禮貌猶如在漫長的冬天為我們歌唱的小鳥，那歌聲使冰天雪地的寒冷變得較易忍受。
When you quarrel with a close friend, talk about the main dish, don't quibble over the appetizers
當(dāng)你和你親近的人吵嘴的時候，試著就事論事，不要扯出那些陳芝麻、爛谷子的事。
"Who shuts love out, in turn shall be shut out from love"
“誰拒愛于門外，也必將被愛拒諸門外。”
Perseverance can sometimes equal genius in its results
毅力在效果上有時能同天才相比。
Whenever you make a phone call, smile when you pick up the phone, because someone can feel it!
無論什么時候打電話，摘起話筒的時候請微笑，因為對方能感覺到!
A quiet mind may live as contentedly there, and have as cheering thoughts, as in a palace
一個從容的人，在哪里也像在皇宮中一樣，生活得心滿意足而富有愉快得思想。
Spend more time with your family and friends, eat your favorite foods, visit the places you love
花多點時間和朋友與家人在一起，吃你愛吃的食物，去你想去的地方。
A friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out
別人都走開的時候，朋友仍與你在一起。
Remember the three "respects" Respect yourself, respect others, stand on dignity and pay attention to your behavior
記住三個“尊”：尊重你自己;尊重別人;保持尊嚴(yán)，對自己的行為負(fù)責(zé)。
You cannot hold onto yesterday
不要擺脫不了昨天。
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart
真正的朋友是一個可以援手幫助并感動你心扉的人。
The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them
失去某人，最糟糕的莫過于，他近在身旁，卻猶如遠(yuǎn)在天邊。
Do not delay anything that adds laughter and joy to your life
不要延遲任何可以給你的生活帶來歡笑與快樂的事情
"Nothing is so mild and gentle as courage, nothing so cruel and pitiless as cowardice," says a wise author
一位明智的作家曾說過：“世上沒有東西比勇氣更溫文爾雅，也沒有東西比懦怯更殘酷無情。”
Remember that silence is golden
記住：沉默是金。
Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to
不要著急，最好的總會在最不經(jīng)意的時候出現(xiàn)。
Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to
不要著急，最好的總會在最不經(jīng)意的時候出現(xiàn)。
Inner sunshine warms not only the heart of the owner, but of all that come in contact with it
內(nèi)心的歡樂不僅溫暖了歡樂者自己的心，也溫暖了所有與之接觸者的心。
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